Winter smiles widely when Karina and her made eye contact. Karina always loves that smile. That kind of smile that will make you smile back. But that smile soon faded when Winter left the stage and Karina came to a realization that the song Winter sang was about her. As much as she wants to deny it, she knew well enough how the lyrics seem to fit their situation.
Memories soon came flashing down her mind as she recalls what they used to do together.
I wanna tell you how beautiful you are from where I'm standing
"Have you ever seen yourself, Miss?" Winter defends. "You look beautiful and amazing every day no matter what you wear so let's go!" She excitingly said and grabbed Karina's hand as they enter the amusement park.
"Miss Beautiful, I hope you'll accept my peace offering?" Winter says as she hands Karina a cute teddy bear.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Karina asks, feeling shy when Winter stares at her.
"You should smile more, it suits you,"
"Thank you for tonight Win-ah,"
"Anything for you beautiful,"
Can't get my mouth to say the words they wanna say to you
"Maybe someday, I'll tell her, someday, I'll tell her that she's been the story behind every song I've written."
Girl, you're amazing just the way you are the way you are
"You don't always have to be tough. Hear me when I say, you're enough."
Wanted to be near you
"Don't cry, love."
"Shh, I'm here, it's fine."
You are so beautiful, I pray that my heart will reach you
"Have I told ever told you how lucky I am to have met a person like you?"
"I hope you know how I love you for being you."
But somebody owns you now
"The song Winter sang during university days was for me right?" Karina asks the group and slowly looks at them who were giving her an expression she couldn't explain. Was it guilt? pain? She didn't know.
No one answered Karina and her thoughts began to swarm her mind. "W-Why didn't she tell me?"
"We're not the best people you should ask about this Karina." Aeri calmly tells her, not wanting to cloud Karina's mind even more.
"Where is she?"
"Hyeri-unnie said she went out for some fresh air," Ryujin answers for her, and with that, Karina walks her way out leaving worried expressions on their friends.
~~~
It wasn't long for Karina to spot Minjeong sitting by the bench.
"Minjeong!" Jimin calls, standing in front of the girl who sat there, staring at her blankly.
"Hey..." Minjeong could only say.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Jimin had so many questions that everything from her mind and heart was making a mess.
"How could I when you have already made your choice?"
"Then-"
"How was I supposed to tell you? How could I when you picked him that day? You don't think I've thought this through? I've been doing everything I can and what happened? You still chose him. Now tell me what difference would it have made if I told you? Nothing right?" Jimin remained silent, struggling to speak out words. Her words pierced through her heart like knives. Minjeong has always been there, and she has always been understanding even if it hurt her along the way.
"Then why avoid me?" Stupid. Jimin thinks it was stupid to ask that question. She was running out of words having her pull out such a stupid question.
"Because I love you. But you love someone else. Why stick around and hurt myself more?" It pains her to see Minjeong looking so broken right now. "It's all on me. I'm sorry for giving meaning to the way you treat me, the way you used to give me your attention. I sometimes think that maybe, just maybe, that tiny bit of hope that I stood a chance with you," Minjeong painfully smiles before wiping the tears streaming down her face.
"Until your first love decided to come back and ask for another chance." She chuckles, not caring how stupid she looks. Minjeong was telling her everything her heart have been holding for so long. "Tell me, how many chances are you going to give him until you finally realize it isn't worth it?"
Jimin looks away, not knowing what to say or react to. "I-I'm sorry,"
"Why apologize? It's not your fault you don't like me." Minjeong stood up from her seat and began to walk away. Jimin didn't dare to hold her back any longer. She had her answer. Minjeong told her everything she could.
But before Minjeong could walk away further, she stops. "Karina," She calls, it hurt how she doesn't call her by her real name anymore. How the times have changed between them. "It's better to end early than stay in a relationship that no longer builds you both. I hope you stop lingering on the memories that don't build you." With that, Kim Minjeong walks away from her, again.
~~~
K A R I N A
Kim Minjeong is in love with me. I don't know what to do with it. I miss her. I miss her company and those times when it was just us in the music room or the places she'd randomly think about that we should visit. I can't get it out of my mind. The looks on her face, the pain in her eyes, it's eating me up inside.
I also miss Soobin. The man I loved for as long as I can remember came back, yet I still feel empty. I should be happy. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. I loathe myself for being unsure of my emotions. My eyes blurred. The day Soobin asked me to give him another chance, his eyes were full of hope, guilt, and longing. That was all I ever wanted, to be with Soobin, the only person I ever loved. But now, why is it that tears falling are of pain and not in joy?
"Jimin, are you okay?" I turn to see Ningning with a worried face when she sees my state.
"Minjeong told me everything last night," That was all I could say before she wraps me around her arms as I softly let out a sob. "Why am I so stupid?"
"It'll be fine," She comforts, her fingers making a pattern on my back.
A few minutes later, I calmed down and we were sitting next to each other on the couch. "Be honest with me Ning,"
"Do you like Soobin?"
Ningning sighs. "No," I smiled at her to continue. "I'm tired of seeing him disrespecting you."
"You are blinded by his good qualities that you cannot see his flaws. Jimin, try to understand that he is the guy who did not even respect you. He has made several mistakes, and all you did was accept him in the hope that he would improve. How certain are you that he won't repeat his mistakes?"
She was right. I wasted too much of my time on him. Minjeong's face comes to mind, her innocent and painful expression. The way she looks at me speaks a thousand words. She loves me. Minjeong makes me feel things I can't explain.
"Jimin, I can't stand watching you destroy yourself anymore."
"Let go of him, you deserve someone better, who understands. Who will always love you, along with your flaws, who knows every inch of you. Look for someone who will love you like there's no end, trust me, that someone is waiting,"
Ning's words hurt me but most importantly, she made me realize what I lost. The moments I took for granted, the moments that I didn't take time to appreciate until they were over. Like that brief second when Minjeong pushes my hair away from my face mindlessly. Like that small amount of time when we were laughing so hard we cried making fun of each other. Like those moments when our eyes met despite the crowd full of strangers, we both smiled ever so softly.
Love is a series of moments we seemingly take for granted, if only I knew how special those moments were as I was to her.
~~~
"Aeri, where is she?" Jimin pleads, she has been trying to find Minjeong but failed to do so since the girl has been absent for three days. It was a miracle she found Aeri who was about to leave after her last class.
"I don't think you should see her right now, Jimin."
"Why? I need to talk to her,"
"Talk to her about what? Didn't she tell you already? She has other things to think of aside from you,"
"I promise I won't do anything that would hurt her anymore,"
"Now really isn't the time, give her a few days."
"Can you at least make me understand?"
Aeri sighs at Jimin's persistence. "Today is her parent's death anniversary. She shuts herself out. Give her a few days, she'll come around."
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