The next morning, there was a knock on my door long before even Florence was ready to be awake.
"Ugh," she groaned as she burrowed into her pillows. "Shotgun not."
"Ugh," I agreed, hauling myself out of bed.
I opened the door, squinting blearily into the bright light of the hallway and took in the blurry sight of Apollo.
"What do you want?" I asked.
My morning voice was gruff and gravelly. On anyone else, it might have been sexy. The right anyone else. On me, it was definitely nothing to write home about.
"I wanted to apologise for last night," he said, no sign of morning voice. I didn't care if he didn't have one, or if it meant he either hadn't been to bed or had been awake long enough to lose it.
"I'm really not in the mood for accepting apologies, Apollo. It's too damned early."
Apollo's smile was self-conscious. "Right. No. Should have thought of that."
I looked him over and realised he was in the same clothes as the night before. The were rumpled and his hair looked like he'd not had time to style it properly after sleeping on it. I felt my eyes narrow.
"Are you just getting back?"
He shrugged like it was nothing. Before he could say anything, I kept talking.
"I could have just met you there tonight," I told him.
He smiled. "No. I know. I actually thought about that, but Valen wasn't answering his phone, so I'm-"
"Not even here for me," I interrupted. "Great, thanks, Apollo. Good to know where I stand in the great hierarchy of Apollo-fucking-Callahan's idiotic brain!" I snapped.
I went to slam the door in his face, but his arm flew up to stop it.
There was a muffled clap from the direction of Florence's bed. "Woo, you tell him, girl," she mumbled.
But I wasn't that interested in Florence's reaction, because I was paying attention to Apollo's.
His eyes were wide and awe-filled. His mouth was only parted slightly, but it was his version of a jaw-drop when there wasn't skin on display. He blinked twice in quick succession, then pulled himself together.
"No. Of course not," he said, losing all pretence of sweetly sexy man-child. "I'm not here just for Valk. I'm here for you, too. I needed to apologise. I wanted to apologise, Harlow."
I nodded. "Well, you have. So..."
He took my hand and held it to his chest. "I am sorry, Harlow. I shouldn't have left you last night. I was... I was all in my head, but that's no excuse for the way I treated you." He brought my hand up and kissed it softly. "I am sorry, Harlow."
Well.
As much as I wanted to be angry with him, as much as I wanted to slam the door on his pretty face and maybe smash it in a bit... I also...didn't.
In his eyes stood the boy I knew. The boy I loved. He held my hand to his chest. Not just his chest, his heart. Like he was reminding me I had a place there. Like he was telling me I belonged there. For the briefest of moments, I believed it. I knew it to be an irrefutable truth.
He was trying. He might not have been doing a great job, but he was trying. This was new territory for both of us, whatever territory it was. It was to be expected that we might not do it very well to begin with.
I nodded. "Okay, Apollo." I nodded again. "I forgive you."
He smiled. "Yeah?"
I gave him a small smile in return. "Yeah."
"Boo!" Florence mumbled, but I knew she'd forgive me faster than I'd forgiven him.
Apollo took a deep breath and laughed a breathy sigh of obvious relief. As his hand went to my cheek, he took a step forward and leant his forehead to mine.
"Thank you," he said. "Thank you, sweetheart."
"As lovely as this is," Florence said. "Can you do it anywhere but here?"
"Well," Apollo said suavely. "I suppose some of us do need their beauty sleep."
Florence's arm appeared out of her doona, and she pointed an angry finger at him. "You take that back or so help me, when I've had enough sleep, I'll remove you from your favourite appendage."
Apollo smiled. "Of course, I'm sorry. Rude of me to bring up something you can never hope to obtain."
Florence sat up and glared at him. It was impressive even for the fact that her hair was totally matted on one side, and she couldn't focus her eyes without her glasses.
"Well, at least I'm beautiful on the inside," she told him. She put her hand over her mouth. "Sorry, we're not mentioning things other people can never hope to obtain. My bad," she said sarcastically.
Apollo's eyes were full of mischief, but he smiled at her winningly. "I'll forgive you, Flo. Because I'm just that nice."
Her eyes narrowed. "Flo-rence."
I grabbed the front of Apollo's shirt and he turned his attention back to me.
"I'm going to get dressed, then you're going to get me breakfast," I told him.
He nodded. "Sounds like a plan."
I shoved him backwards, gave him a smile and closed the door in his face.
"Your boyfriend is a grade-A hole," Florence said grumpily as she flopped back into bed.
I nodded as I found some semi-clean clothes to change into. "Yeah. He is what he is, but he's all I've got."
"What about...?" she whispered.
My eyes slid to her as I kept getting ready. Her eyebrows were waggling half-heartedly in her sleepy state.
"Yeah," I huffed. "That's not..." I sighed. "I'm over it."
She snorted and I glared at her.
"What?" she asked innocently.
"He's over it," I grumbled.
"That is just one hundred percent not true," she told me. "Although, we are back to normal Harlow, apparently."
I looked down at myself and found I'd put on my blue-grey jeans, and a pale pink, woollen, off the shoulder jumper. In my hands, I was holding my light brown, heeled boots. I sucked my teeth and I looked down at myself.
"Right," I said slowly. "Yeah. Let's... Let's put a pin in that for now, shall we? Especially for Saturday morning breakfast."
My fingers trailed to my lips as I remembered Valen's kiss from the night before. I was feeling far less in the mood to seduce anyone after the...finality of it all. I wasn't going to stop being what felt like a more real version of me, but I was going to hide behind the mask of good girl Harlow until I was back to full strength again.
"No," Florence said softly. "Fair enough."
We had, naturally, talked all about Apollo and Valen when I'd got back the night before. We'd sat in the middle of her bed, my head in the lap, and decided all boys were stupid and we hated them all. The only reason it made sense to have boys in the world was so we could get whatever pleasure we wanted from their cocks and send them on their way again.
I plastered on a smile as I pulled on my boots. "It's fine. I'm fine."
"No one asked, but great. Believable. Bring me back un pain au chocolat?"
I huffed a small smile. "Of course."
Apollo was loitering casually in the hallway when I opened our door. There weren't many people around at that time of the morning, but they all stopped and noticed him looking mighty dishevelled outside my door. I could only think what the school would be saying about that by the end of the day. He paid them no mind, though. He just took my hand and led me to the café. We were the only ones there for a bit, but slowly it filled around us.
It filled and emptied and filled again, and we moved on from breakfast to lunch.
It seemed that Apollo was in the midst of a very 'not caring about what anyone else thinks' day, because he wasn't keeping one eye on our surroundings for once. He barely answered when someone said hello to him. He didn't look at his phone once. His whole attention was on me, and I completely forgot myself in the sweet wake of it. We were laughing and joking, not caring if we were too loud or if anyone could hear the utter nonsense coming out of our mouths. We didn't stop even when one of us got up to order something more to eat or drink, carrying on our conversation over and through whoever was between us.
When I got a message on my phone and saw it was from my mum, I finally broke our little bubble and noticed the time.
"Shit, Apollo, it's almost three."
He looked at his watch. "Fuck. It is. What time did we say we'd be at my parents'?"
I breathed out as I thought about it. "Before mine. And mine have just landed at the airport."
"Fuck," he laughed. "All right. I desperately need a wash and a change. I'll text you when I'm ready and we'll meet you at the car?"
"I think I'm going to take longer than you to get ready."
He grinned. "Yeah, all right. Come and get me when you're ready, then?"
I nodded. "Better plan."
He leant over and kissed my cheek. "I'll see you soon!" he said as he hurried out of the door.
I checked we'd paid everything we'd owed, grabbed Florence's chocolate croissant, and hurried myself back to our dorm.
"I know!" I yelled as I threw the pastry at her and beelined for the bathroom.
"Where the fuck have you been?"
As I got undressed, I called, "With Apollo."
"All day?"
I nodded. "Yeah. We were just chatting and... He barely spoke to another person all day. He didn't look at his phone. He's..."
"If you say 'like a changed man' I'm gonna come in there and hurl on you."
"Fair," I admitted. "No. But something has changed, Floss. I don't what it is, but it's..."
"Good?" she guessed.
"Not bad," I corrected. "We'll see if it gets us through tonight."
"You do know what the school is saying after him turning up so early, don't you?" she asked.
"I can guess."
"If it was true, you'd have told me, wouldn't you?"
"Of course I would have. I tell you everything. He was out all night decidedly not because of me," I assured her.
"Okay, good. I mean, not good, but good to know you're not keeping secrets."
"I told you everything about Valen, would I hide Apollo from you? I'm meant to be with him."
"Yeah. Good point."
I was primped and primed in proper Princess Harlow clothes in a little under an hour.
Tea-length dress. Sensible pumps. Pearls. Soft curls. White headband. Clutch purse. Check.
"Sorted?" I asked Florence, doing a little spin.
She nodded. "Sorted. Perfect little princess."
"Great. Job done. I'll see you later."
She nodded. "Night."
I rushed to the boys' dorms, nodding to people as I passed. As I hit the third floor, a Magdalen was walking towards me. She made a big show of wiping the corner of her mouth as she gave me a knowing smirk. I guessed I was supposed to think she'd just been sucking Apollo's cock. Well, good for her.
I wasn't going to let that ruin the day I'd had with him. We had to take this thing with baby steps. If I was still trying to get Valen to admit he wanted to fuck me, then I presumably wanted him to follow through with it. I could hardly be pissy with Apollo for fucking around with Magdalens if I still wanted Valen.
I gave her my warmest smile and watched with pleasure as all her superior confidence was replaced with confusion. She gave me a nod, and we both went on our own merry ways.
I knocked on Apollo's door. "You decent?" I called.
"Come in and find out," he called back.
I pushed my way into his room.
Apollo was wearing trousers, but nothing else. He had a couple of shirts laid out on his bed like he was trying to decide between them.
Valen was slouching on one of the couches, his ankle crossed on his other knee and his elbow up on the arm rest. He was puffing away at a vape pen like the damned thing contained oxygen.
"That was fucking close," he said to no one in particular.
"You were quick," Apollo said as though in answer.
I kept my smile firmly in place, pretending I didn't know what they were talking about it.
"Valk, can you go get the car ready?" Apollo asked as he picked a shirt and pulled it on. I noticed it was a soft blue, similar to my dress.
"Sure," Valen answered, getting up.
His eyes hadn't left me since I'd walked into the room. There was a hostility in him I hadn't felt in a few weeks. The air around him fair sizzled with some barely contained emotion.
"Cheers," Apollo said as he ducked into the bathroom.
When he was level with me, Valen paused and said quietly, "That's better."
"You think this is for you?" I asked him, raising my eyebrow.
"I think the good little princess knows what's good for her."
I huffed a laugh. "We both know I'm not a good little princess, Valen. I'm a fucking goddess, and you will worship me."
He looked me up and down. "Stick to what know, princess." He paused for a beat. "It suits you better."
"Does the big, bad wolf like the pretty little princess, Valk?" I teased.
The way his eyes flared burning heat told me yes. His words, however, weren't so forthcoming. "Do not push me, princess," he warned.
"Or, what?"
"Or, you won't like what I do to you," he growled, then was gone.
I just had enough time to get my breathing under control before Apollo was back and we were heading to the Estate to meet our parents.
In the car, Apollo and I were in the backseat. He had his arm around my shoulders and the other one ran up my leg. He looked into my eyes and his were feverish bright. He wore an utterly ecstatic grin. He dropped a kiss to my jaw, then play-nipped at my neck. I giggled at the tickle, and he pulled away.
Something was definitely different, but where it would go was another matter.
Valen took the curves like he was trying to beat some personal best down the mountain.
"Have you started drift racing?" Apollo chuckled to him.
"Like you fucking know what that is," Valen said roughly, but I heard the slight note of teasing humour in his voice.
Whether Valen was drift racing or not remained to be seen, but we arrived at the Callahan Estate in one piece each.
"I'll be in my room," Valen said as Apollo took my hand and dragged me out of the car.
We ran up the steps, laughing about how late we were and wondering whose dad would be angrier.
"Apollo. Harlow," Archer said as we bundled into the parlour, both of us breathing heavily.
"Sorry, we're late," Apollo said with a smile for everyone. "We lost track of time."
Apollo and I split to say hello to our mums, who were tittering happily to each other about the young lovers losing track of the time. For once, the majority of their assumptions about the situation were true. It was a weirdly pleasing feeling.
"How's school?" my dad asked me as he hugged me.
I nodded. "Good. Fine."
He nodded as well. "Lovely."
As soon as the pleasantries were over, Apollo was back at my side. His hand was low on my back, but he was casual as you please.
As a family - as it were - we had a few drinks until the rest of the guests arrived. One could never have just a few people over. It was always about connections and business. Archer and Dad would use the time to show their guests their combined strength, then discuss their own business after the rest of us had retired or left.
Apollo not once left my side. Not even for a drink. He took me with him everywhere he went, every person he spoke to. It was lucky I hadn't needed to use the bathroom or we might have had a problem.
His nose nudged my ear. "Need another drink?" he asked.
I turned my face to his and our noses bumped. "I think I've had enough for a bit."
He had one hand around my waist. My hand was on his lapel. Our faces were very close together...
"Apollo, this must be the lovely Harlow?" a voice interrupted.
And so the schmoozing began again.
After the fourth interruption, Apollo's arm around my waist tightened and he leant his nose to my ear.
"Come," he whispered softly.
His hand trailed along my back before he slid his hand into mine and tugged gently.
Confused and intrigued, I didn't hesitate to follow him.
He weaved us through the party, expertly avoiding giving anything more than a few words to those he passed. He had a smile and a nod for everyone, as always. But the more people who tried to stop him, the firmer his hold on my hand became.
Once free of the room, he pulled me towards the stairs. I thought we'd go up them, but he sidestepped at the last minute, then he ducked into the door leading to the storeroom under them. It was nothing but shelves on three sides, holding linen for the dining room and downstairs bathrooms.
"What are we-?"
But my words were cut off as he closed the door and pushed me against it. One hand was on my hip, the other splayed by my head. His body was hard up against mine. In every sense of the word. I could feel him erect as he leant into me. His nose was in my neck, sending goose bumps skittering across my skin, a shiver running down my spine, and an irregular heat pooling between my thighs.
"Apollo?" I breathed, unsure what was happening. With him or me.
"Shh," he whispered.
He slid his hand purposefully up my body until it was loosely cupping my breast. His erection dug into me in a way that pleasantly shocked me, his hips pulsing gently against me in a way that made me want to rock right back.
"I thought we'd never get out of there," he said, more a purr than actual words.
I tingled at his proximity. I'd never done that before.
He kneaded my breast, his nose still trailing goose bumps over my skin. My body arched towards him instinctively. I couldn't have stopped it. I didn't want to anyway.
One hand kept kneading me as the other moved down to coax my leg around his hip. My knee hugged him tightly and a small gasp escaped me as I felt his dick rub against my clit. I felt him smile against my cheek.
"There's something different about you, Harlow," he said softly as we rocked together and his grip tightened on my breast. "I've noticed you."
Sudden panic welled at what exactly he'd noticed. If he had any suspicion about me and Valen, then... What was this?
"My cock's noticed you," he continued, obviously not needing me to reply.
His hand left my breast, running smoothly down my stomach and between my legs. My nerves came alive at his touch, but he denied me what I really wanted as he peppered my neck with kisses. His fingers ran over me. Up and down. Up and down. But they stayed either side of my slit, never quite reaching where I was desperate for him to be.
I felt my hips buck towards him and he chuckled, the air blowing against my skin sending all new shivers over me.
"Do you want it?" he asked as I wriggled against his denial.
I bit my lip.
What the hell was wrong me?
First, I give in and fuck a guy I hated more than I knew it was possible to hate. Now, here I was with a different guy I hated in such a very different way.
"Tell me you want it, Harlow," he begged.
Oh. My. God.
Whether I was weak, a sleeper nymphomaniac, or maybe just ridiculously lucky to have two devastatingly gorgeous men wanting to throw me against the nearest surface, I didn't really care at that point.
I wanted Apollo. I wanted him more than I hated him. More than I loved him. I wanted him to touch me, to ease this hollow, tingling ache between my legs.
I nodded, feeling breathless for no good reason. "I want it," came out a mere whisper, but he heard.
He pulled away just enough to look at me. As he looked into my eyes, I saw his were feverish, like he was a man possessed. They shone with deep hunger and desire. For me. He actually wanted me.
"Fuck," he breathed, his hand rubbing over me faster. He dropped his forehead to mine. "Say it again," he pleaded.
"I want it," I told him. I took his face in my hands and made him look at me again. "I want you."
It was almost like a shiver ran over him. Some kind of pleasant disbelief or excitement.
Then his hand was on my cheek and he was kissing me so hard he knocked the breath out of me. A rapid coil of something I didn't want to name spread in my stomach and surged upward, making my heart skip. He tasted like expensive Scotch and smoky cigars. My arms wrapped around his shoulders as my leg, still around his hip, pulled him closer.
"Jesus, Harlow," he panted against my lips as he fought my layers of skirts to find my centre once more.
While I was sure the skirts were annoying, I didn't think that was what the exhalation had been about.
His fingers slid over me, this time making no pit stops on the way to my clit.
As the first zing of pleasure ran through me, I nipped his lip and sucked a hard breath in. Maybe it was a mistake, or maybe it was the perfect reaction. Whatever it was, it seemed to make him ramp it up a notch.
Apollo pushed my undies to the side and slid a finger into me.
My hands fisted in his hair as my whole body clamped around him in the best possible way.
"Fuck, yes," he chuckled as his nose skimmed along my cheek and his finger pumped me slowly.
My back arched, my breasts pushing up and into him. He dipped his head and kissed the soft flesh above the cut of my dress' bodice. I lay my head back against the door and let him finger fuck me as his lips blazed flaming passion across my skin. I felt him slide a second finger into me, the middle two now by the feel of it, and he pumped me harder.
Pleasure twisted and curled, building deeper and stronger. As my breathing became more erratic and shallower, he didn't let up. He went harder. He went faster. My body writhed. His pinned me to the door, making me unable to get away from the onslaught of tingling, growing sensation he was hammering me with, but I didn't want him to stop either.
One hand snaked above my head like that was going to help me deal with the pressure building inside me. Apollo's reached up and pinned my wrist to the door. I looked at him and found him staring at me. My breathing was ragged. My legs were weakening. My voice was a whimper of entreaty.
"Don't stop," I begged him.
His eyes were liquid heat. He looked at me like he'd never seen me before. Like he couldn't believe he'd missed me until now.
He let go of my wrist and took hold of the thigh that was around his hip. The fingers in me railed me. No longer was he pumping them in and out. Not in swift, strong motions. It was more front to back. And it did the job. More than satisfactorily. The coil was tightening in me. I could feel myself on the precipice.
"Are you going to cum for me?" he purred in my ear.
He looked into my eyes and I nodded, biting my lip to stop myself from moaning his name. I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep it in.
"Say it," he commanded, his hand sliding up between us to close gently over my neck while the fingers in me were anything but gentle.
I whimpered as my body started involuntarily contracting around him. It was too much. Too sensitive. It wasn't enough. I wanted him deeper, harder, faster.
"Say it, Harlow."
I moaned, leaning my head back against the door again. My hands fisted in his hair and on his sleeve. All as though that could stop the eruption that was coming.
"I'm cumming," I told him, a desperate exhalation as he brought me right to the edge.
"Good girl."
His lips crashed to mine, his hand was firm but tender on my throat, and his pelvis wedged his hand between us. It was all I need to send me over the edge.
I pulled my lips from his as I cried out, "Oh, god!" and slapped a hand against the door behind me as my entire body curled around him, desperate to keep him where he was but loathe for any more stimulation.
He huffed an amused laugh as my whole body shook. He held me up, letting me collapse in his arms until I got my breath back.
"Apollo," I breathed, forcing my legs to take my weight, and letting the door do some of the heavy lifting.
He was looking me over with a soft smile on his face that reached his eyes.
"Fuck, Harlow..." he said, shaking his head.
Suddenly I felt self-conscious. "What?"
He shook his head again as his tongue darted out and caught his bottom lip, closely followed by his teeth. He just stood there, with a bemused but sinfully cocky half-smirk on his face.
"What, Apollo?" I asked.
He reached forward and brushed the backs of his fingers down my cheek softly. So, so softly. I never thought he'd have a touch that gentle, that tender.
I relaxed as I looked at him. "What?" I asked more gently.
"You're so fucking beautiful," he said, almost like he was in awe.
I swallowed. "Thanks?"
In one swift motion, he pressed me against the door again. But this time it was softer, laced with something very different to burning passion. His nose nudged mine. As I tilted my head, he snuck in for another kiss. Slower, more languid.
My hands gravitated towards his belt, but he drew away to look at me.
He shook his head and pulled his cock away from me. "Not now," he said.
I frowned.
"We need to get back," he said, pressing a lingering kiss to my lips, as though that explained it.
He looked me over, as though checking if I was appropriate for public display. The half-smirk that lit his lips was all arrogance and pride. As he reached for the door handle behind me, his lips lingered near my ear.
"You might want to detour past the bathroom," he whispered.
Then he was out the door and gone.
I took a moment to compose myself, smoothing my skirts back down over me like that would mask the fact that Apollo Callahan had just finger fucked me under his parents' staircase during one of their fanciest parties of the year disguised as a casual get together. I felt flushed. I felt confused. Mostly, I felt sated. Apollo had felt good. He'd tasted good. He'd made me feel good.
On my way back to the others, I passed Valen exiting the kitchen. I felt heat flood my cheeks and hoped my makeup was enough to cover the redness.
I knew I didn't owe him anything. He'd made it very clear where we stood. Even if he hadn't, he and Apollo got to fuck around, so why shouldn't I?
No, it wasn't anything I felt I owed Valen, but I did feel the first stirrings of uncertainty about what I wanted. Did I want to be the fuck around kind? Not just with Valen, but Apollo, too. And what exactly did fucking around with Apollo mean? Was our relationship suddenly real? Or were we just in another circle of our own special limbo?
All I knew for sure just then was that...
My God and my angel.
My prince and my big, bad wolf.
I wanted them both.