Bre woke up to daylight and Brad's face. He was watching her with a little smile. She groaned and covered her head.
"You were watching me sleep?" She was mortified.
He chuckled and pulled her arm away.
"Look at me", he said in his calm voice. She did. She usually did what Brad said. He had a way of taking charge and she naturally followed his lead. She was embarrassed, though. She knew her hair was a mess and she was still shy about everything that had happened yesterday.
He gently ran his hand along her cheek and into her hair. "You are beautiful", he said gently, his face soft.
"You make me feel beautiful", she admitted, feeling her cheeks burn.
He looked for a moment as if he might cry, then he leaned in and kissed her. "That's all I ever wanted", he said.
She felt as if she would explode her heart was so full. This experience with Brad was so incredibly different than with Steve. She had been under the influence the first time she was with Steve, so she was less shy, less inhibited. Steve didn't talk to her like Brad did. Brad coaxed her into it, helping her overcome her shyness step by step, and gave her attention throughout the day every day. Steve simply did it and moved about his day as normal. She was so crazy in love with Brad right then, she didn't care if she ever saw Steve again.
But Brad didn't intend to leave Paige. He wasn't hers. He was only hers for a moment.
How long?
That thought hit her hard and she pulled away, getting up and reaching for her robe off the floor. Brad grabbed her arm.
"Don't get dressed".
"The cameras", she reminded him.
"I disabled them. Don't get dressed".
She whipped her head around to look into his eyes, shocked.
"I'll hook them back up later", he said.
She went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She felt Brad's eyes wash over her as she returned, and felt herself flushing again as he lifted the covers and she climbed back into bed.
He wrapped his arm around her and pressed her up against him.
"Something is bothering you", he said, looking into her face. "Please tell me you're not having regrets".
She shook her head no.
"What's wrong then?"
She felt herself tear up despite trying not to.
"It's nothing. Probably pregnancy hormones", she said.
He waited, brow furrowed, peering into her eyes. He wasn't going to budge until she told him.
Finally she spoke when she was sure she wouldn't cry. "I was thinking about how much I loved you and I was wondering how long I got you for, that's all. I told you that I was going to get more attached to you if we did this. That's what I was worried about. It's not a big deal. I'm fine".
She read in his eyes he believed she was telling him the truth and that it made him really sad.
"Oh, Bre", he sighed, tearing up himself. "I told you this wasn't a one time thing. If I'm being completely honest with both of us, I would really prefer to never not be with you. The way I feel about you is perfect. Not complicated. There's not a single negative emotion that's attached to you. I know you're worried that you're going to be on your own but I would never leave you to fend for yourself, regardless if you had taken this step with me or not. Baby, you got me as long as you want me. I will never not be here for you. Do you understand?"
"But you have Paige", she protested.
"Paige will fucking deal with it", he growled, looking fierce, "and if she can't, she knows how to get ahold of Rev".
Bre's mouth dropped.
"I'm not giving you up, Bre. Not ever. Even if you take Steve back. You want me, I'm yours. Simple as that. I really don't trust Paige. I know she has good intentions and wants to be committed to me, but I think anytime I upset her, she's gonna run to him. She's probably already called him".
He looked concerned. "I don't want you to feel like I'm using you. You don't think that, do you?"
She shook her head no. He kissed her forehead.
"Thank God. If you weren't pregnant, maybe things could be different, but I know your heart. Steve's going to parent this child with you, regardless if you're a couple, but I think you're going to allow him to try to fix your marriage for the baby's sake".
She felt a tear slip down her cheek and he wiped it away.
"I'm not pressuring you", he said gently. "I want you all to myself as long as I can have you, but this is what I see for your future, so that means I'm staying with Paige. I was in love with her from the day I met her but she drives me crazy and hurts me as much as she makes me happy. It's always challenging with her but being with you is so easy. You're my angel".
Bre felt her eyes fill with tears and several slipped out.
"Okay?", he asked gently.
She nodded. He leaned in and started kissing her. He tasted like toothpaste. That meant he had gotten up sometime before she had that morning and she hadn't even stirred. She must be more worn out than she even knew.
His hand immediately went to her breast, gently. He was so gentle, so perfectly in tune to what felt right to her.
Eventually he sat up and scooted over to the edge of the bed. "Come here", he said, taking her hand. She stood up, uncertain what he wanted to do.
He guided her to sitting in his lap, her legs resting on either side of his waist on the bed. He was watching her face and she felt nervous. She knew he would see that.
"Do you not like this position?", he asked quietly.
She had never done this position before. Not exactly. She had been on top, but on her knees, with her partner laying completely flat on the bed. This was different so she was uncertain.
"I don't know", she admitted and watched anger flicker across Brad's face, which made her more nervous.
"I'm not mad at you", he said quietly. "I'm mad at the fucking insensitive men in your life who didn't take the time to figure out what you prefer. You and I are going to do that, baby. We're going to figure it out and we're going to do it as much as you want for as long as we can. Okay?"
She nodded. She was so thankful for Brad she couldn't even wrap her head around it. He calmly and quietly guided her through sitting down on him and moving against him. He was strong, and he was supporting a lot of her weight with his arms as he helped her. In this position, she still had most of the control, but she wasn't as exposed or alone as she was with the other on top position she was familiar with. She was close to him and could kiss him easily. She definitely preferred this.
They finished at the same time again, and again, her mind was blown. She rested her forehead against his, arms around his neck, and took a breath.
"How do you do that?", she asked. "That can't be a coincidence again. What's your trick?"
He chuckled. "No trick, baby. I hold out as long as I can. When I feel you going, I stop holding back. That way, if it's not the same time, I'm going to be after. I do my damndest to make sure you finish first".
"You can do that...all the time?", she asked, curious.
"Yeah, babe. We all can. It takes focus and practice. The more we do it, the easier it is. If I only had sex once a month, that one time would be almost impossible to hold back. That make sense?"
"Yeah". She felt bad then. Infrequent sex with Steve could be part of why she didn't enjoy it as much as with Brad, because he typically didn't last long enough for her. But since those first couple weeks together, she hadn't felt as interested. Possibly because Steve had been distracted by Paige again and had been distant.
"Bre", Brad said sternly, "your not wanting to participate is not the cause of their incompetence. If they worked harder at pleasing you, you would want to do it more, and they would be able to hold out longer. It's still their fault for putting their own needs first".
She looked into his face. He looked angry but he seemed to get himself under control.
"How did you like that?", he asked.
"I loved it!", she said enthusiastically.
He smiled. "I thought so", he said. "Top usually works best because you're going to have more control that way, but you prefer to be close to me, and you also wouldn't be comfortable with me staring at you the whole time. Am I right?"
She felt her cheeks burning and nodded.
"Glad I was right about all that", he said, looking pleased with himself.
She surprised herself by aggressively shoving her mouth into his and kissing him like she never wanted to let him go.
...........................................................................
Brad was obsessed with Bre, obsessed with pleasing her and teaching her. He had never been with someone so inexperienced and uncertain about their own bodies, and he was feeling very protective and very proud of his ability to draw the passion out of her. He knew she was going to be attached to him forever after they did this, and he was honest about everything he told her. He really preferred for her to never go back to Steve but he didn't think staying with him would make her happy in the long run, because of the child. He also knew that had she not been pregnant, they would have been able to start a new life together, maybe far away from Steve and Paige, but that couldn't be reality now.
Bre was as logical and realistic as he was, and he knew she saw it the way he did, but her heart was softer than his, and he intended to handle it as gently as he was handling her beautiful body.
He finally pulled himself away from her and got them up to eat. She felt unsteady and he peered into her face. She looked extremely happy but a little pale, and he had to keep reminding himself she was a pregnant woman who needed to take it easy.
"You gotta get breakfast before you get sick", he said gently, and she nodded.
He grabbed her robe off the floor, helped her into it, and walked with her to the bathroom. He quickly threw some clothes on, waited for her, and walked downstairs with his arm around her waist. He got her a piece of toast immediately, let Maggie out, then started cooking a more substantial breakfast. About all he was capable of was scrambled eggs but she was thankful for everything he did for her, and never once complained.
While they were eating, he checked his phone.
Paige had texted at one in the morning that she was back to the cottage, and had texted ten minutes ago wondering if he had called Steve and if he had sex with Bre yet.
Yes and yes, he replied, not feeling ashamed in the slightest. He meant what he said to Bre. He didn't trust Paige much and she had probably cried to Rev about this situation already. For all he knew, she was back to fucking him. He also meant what he said about not giving up Bre. As long as he got to keep her, he could give a fuck less what Paige did when she wasn't with him.
Steve had also texted about thirty minutes ago- I need more clothes. Can I stop by this weekend?
Brad felt his protective instincts kick in.
Only if you want to see me having sex with your wife, he thought angrily.
Instead, he texted- Absolutely not. You can do your laundry at my house. She can't handle seeing you right now. Spend today going to jewelry stores and see what your options are for trading that ring in and getting a new one.
He knew Paige had given Steve a key and that he knew the code. Brad was not going to have their weekend interrupted with that dumb ass. He reached over to Bre's bare knee and squeezed it, then slid his hand up her thigh. She looked at him and smiled.
"Those are the longest, most perfect legs I've ever seen", he commented. "Why don't you ever show them off? I think I've seen you wear shorts once, and they were long, and I saw them in that white dress for your bachelorette party and almost had a heart attack".
He watched her blush and duck her head.
"I don't know", she said. "I guess I feel like it makes me look even taller when I've got my legs exposed. Like there's too much of me".
"Baby, there could never be too much of you", he said, rubbing that knee and watching her flush. He couldn't even handle it. He wanted her again. He turned her barstool chair to face him and started kissing her, slowly untying her robe, immediately finding those soft, amazing breasts. He stood and dropped his pants, scooting her to the edge of the barstool.
"I want those legs around me", he whispered, and she nodded.
He entered her carefully and she wrapped those long, soft legs around his waist, squeezing his back with her knees. He had to stop, shut his eyes, and gain control.
"It's okay", she whispered. "You don't have to hold back every time".
His eyes flew open. "For you I do", he said. "I'm not doing this for me alone. I'm going to do my best for you every time or I'm not going to do it. Okay?"
She nodded.
He did his best for her again. Again, they finished together. His weekend was going exactly as he had planned and he couldn't be happier.
They took a shower together then he laid her back in bed and spent a long time with his head between her legs, really taking his time this time, drawing it out as long as possible. He really did love being down there on her, like never before. She finished and he laid his head on her inner thigh, not moving his fingers or his head. She ran her hand through his hair.
When he felt her sufficiently settled, he slowly started moving his fingers again, and started the process all over.
...........................................................................
Our show had gone incredibly. The bar was packed, the crowd knew our songs, and we were on fire! Brad and Bre were completely pushed from my mind. At least I knew she was still turning him down, and his sleeping on the couch was a good sign for me that she wouldn't give in.
Halfway through the show, I spotted Rev. He had a baseball cap on and stayed back toward the bathrooms. I had a feeling he might show, and I really hoped the guys didn't recognize him.
He met my eyes and I couldn't help grinning at him as I sang.
It was after one by the time we finally got back to the cottage. Rev hadn't interacted with me at all at the bar, but I felt his presence the whole time. Clay and Tommy were staying with me, and they wanted to have some drinks and snacks after, which I agreed to. I had one drink and some deep fried cheese curds with them, then we went home.
I texted Brad after we arrived, got myself ready for bed, and was about to turn off the light when I heard the faintest tap on one of my two windows. It startled me but then I instinctively knew it was Rev. I opened the curtains, quietly drew up the blinds, and opened the window. He was grinning at me and held a finger to his lips. He had removed the screen from the outside and climbed in, larger than life. I quietly crossed the room and locked my bedroom door.
Rev quietly lowered the window and shut off the lamp. He reached for me in the dark and got a handful of breast beneath my tank top. He lowered his mouth to mine while pulling my shirt over my head and my pajama pants down. I undid his pants as he put his hand between my legs. I pulled his pants down and pulled his shirt up over his head. I pointed to the floor. That bed squeaked.
He laid down on his back on the floor and I climbed on top of him. He held onto my breasts as I used him to get rid of all the feelings I had built up inside. I finished first, biting my lip and remaining quiet, then he grabbed my hips and moved me hard and fast to finish himself, also quietly.
"You're sneaky", I whispered in his ear.
"You're my mission right now", he whispered back.
...........................................................................
Rev left at dawn, after another round on the floor. My knees were raw from the rug but I was extremely satisfied. I valued him so much. I slept for another couple hours after he left then got up and texted Brad. As I was making breakfast he replied.
Yes and yes.
Wait, what? I had been asking out of habit more than anything. I hadn't expected she would give in that quickly! He had really done it. He had really had sex with Bre. Had he enjoyed it? I'm sure he had. What if he preferred her to me? What if he decided to leave me for her?
I started to panic and felt myself shaking, then I got myself under control. When I told Brad about Rev, I had been prepared for him to not take me back. He had with stipulations I agreed to. This was a stipulation. He wasn't leaving me, he was just fulfilling something he needed to do to feel better. If he did leave me, I would be okay. I would be crushed, but I would be okay, because I had Rev.
Well, I wasn't going home anytime soon then. I didn't know how long this Bre thing was going to play out but I wasn't going to sit at home alone waiting for him to be done with her.
So I replied- I'm happy for you. Keep me updated on her and Steve. I'm going to stay here for awhile so I don't get mad.
...........................................................................
Sam had written a song for me but he was nervous about sharing it. Saturday after we had run through some songs in my living room and needed a break, I had him grab his guitar and jacket, and we went down the hill in the backyard to sit on the bench by the creek.
"Sing it", I simply said.
He looked nervous. "Paige, you said nothing was off limits, right?"
"Sam, I won't get upset. I promise. If I don't like it, we simply don't use it. No loss".
He cleared his throat and pulled it out of his back pocket, unfolded it, and put it on the bench next to himself, so he was turned slightly away from me.
He began strumming the melody. I already liked it. Then he began in his soft baritone, and one verse in I knew why he was nervous.
This was a song about me trying to stay committed to Brad and what I knew to be right in my relationship with him, while also having real love for Rev. Without using names or details, Sam had bared my secrets and exposed the raw pain in my heart, the constant struggle between the two men, the never ending pain no matter who I chose. Someone was always hurt.
I closed my eyes and listened with tears pouring down my face. It was honest and raw and beautiful. He transformed every feeling into words. He saw the whole story and expressed it honestly.
The chorus spoke volumes and could be interpreted many different ways.
In order to be true to you
This is what I have to do
True to you, true to you
Choosing you means losing you
Missing you while kissing you
True to you, not true to you
It was about breaking my own heart and Rev's to stay with Brad, and breaking Brad's to show Rev how I loved him. There was a lot there.
When he stopped singing, and turned to look at me, he almost had a heart attack. I was wiping the tears off my face with a shaking hand.
"Oh no! This is what I was afraid of", Sam said, looking horrified.
"Hold on", I said. "No freaking out. I'm not mad. I'm just...wow. That was a lot. That was...exactly right. Honest, brutal, beautiful. It breaks my heart but it's true. I adore the melody. Let me try it".
"I don't want you doing this if you're going to cry", he warned me.
I smiled. "Once I get used to it, I won't. Let's try".
We ran through it twice. I put my own spin on it, and obviously sang it in my natural range instead of his.
At the end of the second round, Sam's eyes were wet and he looked awe-struck. "Beautiful, Paige. Impactful", he said.
"Okay", I said. "I want to sing this for Brad before we decide to perform or produce it, though. I don't want to upset him, so if I don't have his permission, we aren't doing it".
Sam nodded. "I understand. What do you think for a title?"
"True to You'", I said decisively.
...........................................................................
Bre finally talked to her parents about Steve in the afternoon, and she was so exhausted when she was done with them, she couldn't bear the thought of telling anyone else, so she asked her mom to fill her sisters in but keep it confidential beyond the immediate family.
What made her the sickest was that her parents had known about the ring and didn't think it was a big deal.
"Paige never wore it", her mom protested. "It doesn't suit her and it was never on her finger!"
Bre was dumbfounded.
She told them she didn't think she would be bringing him with for Christmas, or if she even wanted to celebrate this year. Her parents were horrified but she didn't give in.
"I'm pregnant and separated from my husband", she said sternly. "I am not going to force myself to do anything I don't feel like doing, so if I don't feel festive, I'm not coming".
They encouraged her to talk to him again, to give him a chance to make amends, which infuriated her.
"He's not hurting you on purpose", her father said. "I know you don't believe that, Breanna. He's a man. He doesn't always see what you need him to but he can learn".
Brad always saw what she needed, even when she didn't know what she needed herself. Steve could, too. He simply chose to see Paige instead.
When she finally hung up, Brad removed her phone from her hand, flipped it on silent, and tossed it in a chair in the living room. Then he pulled her into his lap on the couch and wrapped his arms around her.
"I can be here on Christmas for you", he said.
She was immensely touched but resisted. "You need to be with Paige".
"I'm not leaving you alone", he insisted. "She can go to Andy's".
"She can go there with you. I'm not breaking you up and holidays are for family".
"Then you better decide to go to your parents' if that's what you want me to do", he growled. "I'm not letting you sit here alone on Christmas".
He looked fierce and determined and she knew he wouldn't be swayed. Again, she was immensely touched that he would choose her over Paige. Her own husband never did.
"I guess I'm going there then", she said decisively and he suddenly broke into a smile.
"You're nearly as stubborn as me", he chuckled, "just without the temper to go along with it".
...........................................................................
By nighttime, Brad had been with Bre another two times. She finally admitted she was sore, but that didn't mean he was giving up. It simply meant he had to stop entering her.
They spent time simply laying together. He hadn't allowed her to put on anything but her robe all day, and he opened it to look at or touch her breasts constantly. He couldn't get enough. Sometime after supper, he decided to try something new. He told her to follow him and brought her up to the bedroom, keeping the lights off.
He closed the door, gently removed her robe, and kissed her.
"I want to try something", he said. "This isn't going to make you sore". He took off his clothes and laid on his back with his head on the pillow. He gently talked her through laying on top of him the opposite way.
"Are you okay doing this, babe?", he asked her. "I'll give you a fair warning so you can back off".
"Yes", she said, sounding uncertain. "I don't know if you're going to like it, though. I'm not sure what I'm doing".
He chuckled. "No man would ever not like that", he said. "I'll guide you, baby, like I do everything else".
"Okay", she agreed, and placed her beautiful mouth around his penis. He grabbed her hips and slid her back against his face.
...........................................................................
I didn't have an opportunity to sneak away from the guys on Saturday but I did let them know I wasn't going home on Sunday. Sam and Tommy still planned to go but Jake and Clay would be around the cottage.
I took a chance and texted Rev an update.
During our performance, I spotted him again but he didn't make contact. When we got home I texted Brad, even though I hadn't heard a peep from him since the morning, and I simply opened my bedroom window while I got ready for bed. I assumed Rev would be there.
Sure enough, when I entered my room after using the bathroom, there he was, filling the room with his aura of masculine intensity. I immediately felt better the second I laid eyes on him. I locked my door and flung my arms around his neck. He picked me up without bending or trying. Simply grabbed each of my thighs in one of his hands and flexed, and my legs were around him.
"I need to talk to you", I whispered into his ear. He nodded and sat on the bed, still holding me like he was. I wrapped my legs around his back.
Instead of speaking, I pointed at my phone. He grabbed it for me and I showed him the texts from Brad over the last couple days.
He scowled and shook his head. "I'm sorry, love", he whispered in my ear. "Are you okay?"
I nodded. "I wouldn't be without you, though", I whispered. "Thanks for coming. I'm going to stay here until I don't know when because he's clearly all wrapped up in her right now, and I'm not going to sit home alone thinking about it".
"Fuckin' right", he whispered in my ear. "Next week is Christmas. What do you think is going to happen then?"
I shrugged. "Who fucking knows".
"Anything else?", he asked.
"Sam wrote a song for me. I'd like to see what you think but obviously not right now".
"I'd love to hear it. Why don't we go somewhere for the day tomorrow? Is it realistic to the two staying here that you'd take a bus to go do something?"
I shook my head no.
"Can you leave them without a car?"
I nodded.
"Meet me at that grocery parking lot tomorrow then. What time?"
"As soon as possible. Nine?"
"It's a plan. Anything else, love?"
"Yeah. Take your clothes off".
He barely caught himself from laughing out loud.
...........................................................................
Rev left at dawn again. I was so content with him, so comforted, so fulfilled, but I still missed Brad. I felt hurt and jealous when I thought of him with Bre, but because the circumstances were what they were, I really wasn't mad at either of them. All I wished for was that he didn't prefer her or decide to leave me for her.
I slept for another hour after Rev left, then got up. Clay was coming out of the bathroom.
"Hey, you wanna go for a quick run?", I asked him.
"Yes!", he said, stretching his arms over his head. "Right now?"
"Yep".
"Meet you out front", he said.
Clay and I ran fast, and farther than we had so far. I started walking back when I got too much pain in my side to continue. Clay was also panting.
"What's that about?", he asked.
"Brad", I panted. I wasn't going to give him any details. "And Bre. And Steve. And the role I played in this mess".
He nodded but asked no further questions.
"I'm going to go shopping today", I told him. "I really need some time alone".
"Okay", he said.
I was sure that would cover me for the day.
At quarter to nine, I left quietly. Jake was actually still sleeping despite Clay and I making breakfast. He slept with music in his ear pods.
I felt a stirring of excitement in my belly as I looked forward to seeing Rev again. He was like an addiction I couldn't get enough of because the consequences weren't harsh enough to give it up.
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