Even though only a few hours had passed by, (Y/N) felt as if she had been held captive for days. Her wrists were sore, her throat dry. She thought about Levi. Where was he? He should have come in when she didn't show up after a few hours. Was he okay? The betrayal she felt was also pretty strong but there was nothing she could do about it.
"I brought you some food!" Hange entered the small, dark room, carrying a bowl of what seemed to be soup. "It's vegetable soup. From a can. It's all I had right now, sorry."
(Y/N) remembered when she had held Hange captive. That seemed so long ago. Everything had gone full circle now. The kidnapper had become the victim.
"Hange, can you please let me go?" (Y/N) exhaled deeply. She knew that her requests were in vain. There was no way Hange would let her go now that she knew their identity.
"(Y/N), you know I can't," Hange said softly. They held out a spoonful of the soup to her, encouraging that she take a bite. (Y/N) complied. She didn't want to, but she couldn't starve. She still had to end this.
"Let's just work it out—"
"No." Hange said firmly. Their posture had gone rigid. "I will carry out this plan and you can't convince me otherwise. The sooner you realize this, the better."
(Y/N) hung her head, feeling a mix of exhaustion and exasperation. Her only hope now was Levi. But where was he? She wanted to ask Hange but that would risk them going out to find Levi. What if Hange had captured him? No, (Y/N) had to remain optimistic even when she didn't have any hope left.
"Please, (Y/N). I need you," Hange said quietly. "We can do so much together. We can free the undercity once and for all. I...I haven't felt this close to someone since Moblit."
"But you lied Hange. This could have gone so much more differently if you had just told me the truth since the beginning."
"Would it really have? You would have killed me without a second thought. At least this way, you've gotten to know me," Hange sat back on their heels, looking up at her. "Tell me, (Y/N), am I really a bad person? I just want to help people."
"But you hurt many. And that doesn't justify your end cause," (Y/N) remembered Sasha and Connie. She hoped Jean was still alive, she still needed to figure out what Hange had done to him. "How many people have you killed, Hange? 5? 10? Indirect murder is still murder."
"I'm saving lives," Hange refuted. "You just need to open your eyes. You just need to believe me. Join me and you'll be there until the end."
(Y/N) shook her head, not saying anything else. The look in Hange's eyes told her that they truly believed that they were helping. It was pointless trying to convince them. Perhaps she should focus on waiting for Levi to come. But that would be a gamble. She didn't know if Levi was still here. He would have already come inside if she hadn't shown up in an hour or so. Or maybe...
"You're right," (Y/N) cleared her throat. Maybe agreeing with Hange would allow them to untie her...and she could come up with the rest of the plan from there. She just needed to be freed right now.
"I am?" Hange was startled by her sudden change in mind.
"Yeah. The topside has been screwing us over for far too long. Of course, I'm still upset about my family's deaths so I can't be completely on board with this plan..." (Y/N) trailed off, not wanting to seem eager or as if she completely had a change of mind. Hange would grow suspicious then. She had to appear casual.
"Of course, of course," Hange nodded eagerly. "I hadn't expected that you'd be on board immediately. Resistance is completely normal! I just wished you'd see what I'm seeing. That's all I want, (Y/N)."
(Y/N) swallowed back her pride and nodded. "I do see where you're coming from, Hange. I'm hurt but...I always understood."
Hange brightened. It seemed as if they were ecstatic at the thought that (Y/N) would join them. Their excited expression pained (Y/N). Despite everything that Hange had done, (Y/N) couldn't help but feel the smallest ounce of regret. She wished it hadn't turned out like this. She had genuinely liked Hange.
"Look, I'll give you some more time and space, okay?" Hange stood, taking the empty bowl of soup with them. "Maybe, soon enough, you'll want to join me. And we can save the undercity. Together."
"Together," (Y/N) echoed.
Hange smiled and left the room. (Y/N) closed her eyes. Where on earth was Levi? He should have come in by now. Was he dead? Another round of despair washed over (Y/N). Why was her life like this? Couldn't she ever catch a moment of rest? The chains clinked against the metal pole when she struggled. There was no way out of this unless Hange let her.
--
Another day seemed to pass by and (Y/N) was itching to ask Hange if they knew what happened to Levi. But did she really want to expose his location to them? Hange was sporadic. She wasn't exactly sure what they were capable of.
"Hange," (Y/N) spoke up when Hange walked into the room with her dinner. "I'm ready to join you."
Hange paused, turning to look at her with curiosity and excitement. "Really? You're ready to join me so soon?"
(Y/N) winced internally. Great, now they'd probably be suspicious. How was she supposed to turn this around and get out of her bounds, all while making sure Hange didn't suspect anything? Her brain raced at what seemed like a million miles per hour before she finally realized a solution. The kiss. The chemistry that had been between them.
"It's because...even though I can't forgive you...I like you," (Y/N) whispered. A part of that was true. She did like Hange. Well, she had days before she had figured out their true identity. Now, everything was just confusing.
"Oh, (Y/N)," Hange said softly. "I like you too. I did for a long time, and it makes me happy to know you feel the same."
"Of course, I do," (Y/N) swallowed. "We...we had chemistry."
Hange smiled and walked over to her, placing a hand on her cheek tenderly. "Are you sure about this? You'll be throwing away everything that you've ever known to join me."
Hange's eagerness to accept her broke (Y/N)'s heart. She was just using them to escape, to get out of her bounds and tell Levi the truth. He'd know what to do. He always did. She wasn't in the right mind to be making decisions. The past few days had been torturous to her.
"For you, I'd throw away the world," (Y/N) said quietly. It was a lie. This was all an act of self-preservation. While she might have been attracted to Hange, and might still harbor feelings, (Y/N) was just trying to escape. She hated Hange...but she also pitied them. They seemed so lonely, so desperate for revenge.
Hange's eyes were warm, a stark contrast to whatever plan they were carrying out. They nodded once before pulling away. "Tomorrow, I was planning on carrying out phase 2 of my plan. We're going to deliver the second batch of shimmer to the undercity. This one is much better, I promise. We'll even recruit some of the people who got stronger and let them know the plan. Also...I'll be entrusting someone else with the formula. I can't be the only one who knows it anymore, I need reinforcements."
"Phase 2?" (Y/N) breathed. That was not good. She had to stop Hange before they could carry out the rest of their plan. How many more people would die? Not only people in the undercity, but the innocent people in the topside who would get targeted on. She hated the topside politics, but she didn't want to hurt everyone who lived there. If someone else figured out Hange's formula...then this would never end.
"Yes. Are you on board?"
(Y/N) hesitated for a second before nodded. "Yes. I am."
Hange brightened. "Great! I'll let you loose tomorrow and you can come down to the undercity with me. You'll still be somewhat bound, of course...but you'll be able to help out!"
(Y/N) struggled to smile. "Sounds like a plan."
--
The next day, Hange arrived a little later than they usually did. They were frazzled and out of breath, their hair a mass. Hurriedly, Hange searched through the keychains they held to find the key that matched the locks on (Y/N)'s restraints.
"Is...everything alright?" (Y/N) asked tentatively.
"We must go," Hange muttered. "Someone has figured out our location. There are people outside."
A blossom of hope bloomed in (Y/N)'s heart. Levi. He was still out there. He must have gone back to the undercity for reinforcements. He was going to save her.
The chains clinked off (Y/N)'s wrists and before she could process her new freedom, Hange slapped on a pair of handcuffs on her hands. They shoved her lightly towards the door, muttering under their breath. They seemed extremely upset and out of it. (Y/N) could use this to her advantage.
As Hange led her through the darkened hallways of the abandoned factory, (Y/N) could hear a commotion outside. It sounded like at least a dozen of people and...gunshots? They were armed. (Y/N) would be able to get out of here. Hange would be defeated.
"Where are we going?" She asked as Hange ushered her through a random door. "Does this building have another exit?"
"We're escaping through the tunnel," Hange glanced towards her. "After I open the door to the tunnel, it'll collapse behind us. No one will know we went through there and no one will be able to access it. Don't worry, (Y/N). You're safe with me."
(Y/N)'s heart sank. If they escaped...then Hange would still be able to pass on the formula. They had to be held captive or...they had to be dead. No, she didn't want to kill them. Despite everything, (Y/N) still had some reservations when it came to killing Hange. It was stupid, but she couldn't control what her heart felt.
As they neared the entrance, (Y/N)'s eye caught on the huge cylinder of shimmer that was bubbling in the middle of the factory. Vats of gasoline were scattered nearby, presumably used to keep the machines going. She paused. "Is that all the shimmer? The entire supply?"
"Yes, the second batch. Now hurry before the explosive goes off."
"Explosive...?" (Y/N) turned to Hange. "What explosive?"
"I knew this was coming so I rigged the entrance door with an explosive. Anyone who comes through that door dies."
(Y/N)'s breath caught in her throat. Levi. There was a high chance that he would be walking through that door. If she didn't do anything Levi would die. (Y/N)'s heart beat erratically. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to save Levi, her last family member. If she escaped with Hange, he would die. Shimmer would run rampant. More people would die. And she couldn't stop it.
She was helpless, even all of these years later.
(Y/N) blinked back tears of frustration. She had to do something. Hange was busy fumbling with the door to the tunnels, mere minutes from escape. She could hear the people outside come closer. She saw the light glow of the shimmer from the corner of her eyes. In the midst of the commotion, there was only one idea she could think of. One, absolutely horrific idea. It would save everyone—Levi, the rest of the undercity...but it wouldn't save her and Hange.
"Hange," (Y/N) said softly.
Hange paused and turned to her. "What is it, (Y/N)? We don't have much time."
(Y/N) smiled sadly and walked over to where Hange was. She raised her handcuffed hands and placed one palm on their cheek. Hange froze, watching as she leaned closer to brush her lips against the soft skin of their cheek.
"(Y/N), I—"
Before Hange was able to finish their sentence, (Y/N) had managed to snatch one of the guns off of the holster in their waist. She hurriedly pointed at them, commanding them not to move. Hange's eyes widened and a flicker of betrayal and disappointment flashed through them. Even though she was handcuffed, (Y/N) was still able to load the gun, her finger on the trigger.
"(Y/N)," they breathed. "I thought you changed your mind."
"You know this is wrong, Hange," (Y/N) cried. "You've killed people. Shimmer has killed people. This has to end before anyone else dies. Please just...please don't."
"You know I can't do that," Hange whispered. "I thought you knew what it felt like to have your family taken from you."
"I do!" (Y/N) exclaimed. "I do and this is why I'm stopping you. I don't want anyone else to suffer through what I did. I don't want anyone else to lose a part of them."
"You're going to shoot me?" Hange asked, sadly.
"No..." (Y/N) trembled. "Even after all this time, I can't kill you myself, Hange. A part of me thinks you're a monster. Another part of me feels pity. And...a small part of me is still chasing the emotions I felt around you. As much as it hurts, I might still care about you even though I disagree with your actions."
"What will you do then? With the gun?" Hange asked, curious.
"Oh, Hange. This could have been so different. We could have been so different," (Y/N) let out a sad chuckle. She didn't bother restraining the tears that were escaping her eyes. "Maybe in another life, we could have everything. But in this one...today might be our last day."
And with that, (Y/N) whirled around and aimed for the gasoline and shimmer tank. She wasn't going to kill anyone. She was going to cause an explosion that would burn this place to the ground. She and Hange would be the only casualties. With the explosion, the shimmer would be destroyed. Hange wouldn't be able to spread the formula. And since Levi and the rest were still a considerable distance away from the factory, they wouldn't get hurt either. The explosion she caused would destroy the explosives Hange had put in place. Everything would be fixed. Everything would be okay.
"(Y/N), no—" Hange yelled. But it was too late. (Y/N)'s finger had pulled down the trigger.
She knew she was going to die. She knew Hange was going to die. But she had to end the problem that had taken her entire family from her. She would put an end to all of this, even if she had to give up her life.
(Y/N) closed her eyes as she heard the loud bang of the gunshot. She felt a rush of heat, she could practically see the explosion of white and red through her eyelids. Images of Sasha, Connie, Jean, Levi, and everyone else she had every loved passed through her mind. She only had seconds left. Would Sasha have been proud of her? Would Levi be upset that she would die? (Y/N) was at the verge of death, trembling as the factory crumbled around her. But she wasn't scared, she wasn't thinking about reincarnation or the afterlife or anything.
All she could think about was what could have been.
The End 😊
A/N: Hi everyone! This is the last chapter to this story! This story is a little bit different from the others I have written because the ending is ambiguous and doesn't actually 'end'. I thought up of three other alternate endings but decided to go with this one because angst! Thank you so, so much for reading and commenting, it really means a lot to me! I'm in the process of writing another story so I'll be back soon!
-- Rai <3