When Regina walked into her office the next morning, she paused and her eyebrows pulled into a frown.
„What the hell are you doing here?", she hissed at the woman sitting on HER chair behind HER desk.
Snow's smile instantly died on her lips. Regina looked terrible! She was pale and she wore so much make up she would have given the Evil Queen a run for her money. Her eyes were dark and her lips an intense shade of ruby, almost black. It even reminded her a little of thick, fresh blood and sent a cold shiver down her spine. She had known Regina almost all her life, for better or worse, and she had learned that her make up was usually a direct representation of her soul: the darker and heavier the colors on her face, the darker and heavier the feelings in her heart and the thoughts in her mind. Something must have gone terribly, terribly wrong yesterday...
„Regina, good morning", she had a try at a casual smile, „I wasn't expecting you to be in this early. Or... at all today."
„And why wouldn't I be?"
She took a few menacing steps towards her and there was so much pain and anger in her eyes that it was enough to propel Snow out of the mayor's chair.
„I... I'm so sorry, I just thought... You know, Emma and I have been covering here for you while you were away with Henry in the other realm and in Hyperion Heights, which worked pretty well, and I thought this morning you would rather..."
„... stay home frolicking around in bed with Hook after our date night that YOU people set us up for?"
„Well... kind of, yeah. But... I take it, it didn't go so well?"
„GET OUT of my office before I send you flying myself, and don't you EVER dare sit in that chair again!"
As fast as she could, Snow ran out the door without another word. Right now, she was truly terrified. Of both, Regina, as well es of the fact that Regina was even still able to induce that amount of terror in her or anyone. She hadn't seen her like this in a long, long time. She was truly worried about her.
Later, she pulled out her phone to text her.
I'm really sorry for whatever happened to you yesterday. I'm worried about you. Please, let's talk! After work, at Granny's? Whatever pain you're feeling, you know it will be better if we face it together.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Later that day, the boys met up at the Rabbit Hole for a beer. Or two. The boys, that meant Henry, his grandfather David and his stepfather Hook, the original Killian Jones. They wanted to celebrate their successful scheme and Queen and Mayor Regina Mills finally being off the market again. It must have gone swimmingly with her and Killian on their date yesterday since they haven't heard anything from either of them. A good sign – certainly they must have been extremely busy with one another!
Not long after they had been served their first round, the door swung open and in walked none other than the man of the hour.
Henry turned around, somewhat surprised. „Hey you! What are you doing here? Aren't you off today? How did you manage to escape my mother so soon?"
„I didn't escape her, she kicked me out...", he patted the suitcase he was carrying, so far Henry hadn't even noticed it, „I need to find a new place to stay and wanted to try my luck here."
„What?", said David, „No, that's not possible!"
„No? Has she been more evenly tempered and less impulsive in your heyday in the Enchanted Forest, I gather?"
David didn't have anything to respond to that, he just sighed.
„What happened?", asked Henry, „Tony said it went great with you yesterday, you seemed to have a lot of fun, you were flirting, and you stayed until past midnight?"
„All of this is true! And on the way home, we started kissing and went straight to making out in her bed."
Henry swallowed, he didn't care much for those details. „Right! And?"
„And then I blew it all, like I always do... We both ended up crying and hating each other, and the only thing she said to me this morning was that I needed to find a new place to stay and she was expecting me to not come back to her house anymore. My suitcase was already standing by the door, all packed up."
„That's insane!", said Henry, „What the fuck did you do?"
„I don't want to talk about it", he went behind the bar and took a beer out of the fridge, opened it and emptied half of it in one go. Then he sat down with the others.
„So, in the end you didn't even, you know... do it?"
„No, mate. And trust me, no one is more sorry about that than I."
„Don't sweat it, mate", said the other Killian now, „If it helps, sex with the Queen is overrated. In hindsight, those nights with her were nothing but a waste of time, time I should have rather spent looking for other, more favorable options. Pretty eyes, nice body and a sexy voice, but not much more than that. And very lazy with the tongue."
„Not helping!", hissed Henry, slightly appalled by the thought whether that meant that his birth mother was different in all those things, she was his wife after all.
The broken hearted Killian did not care much for that comment either. In the blink of an eye, he let his hook smash into the table catching his lookalike's sleeve – barely an inch away from jamming it right through his wrist. A courtesy he only allowed him because Henry was watching.
„First of all", he almost spat out the words into his face. It drove him crazy just thinking about him having lain with her, even if it had been a lifetime ago when they had all still been completely different people, „no, it doesn't help, at all, thank you very much! Second, I don't care what you did with her a gazillion years ago, and it's not very polite of you to taunt a man with having slept with the woman he's in love with, that's an old habit that both of us should have gotten rid of long ago, and third: don't you ever dare speak of her like that again! She's neither a piece of meat nor one of your many worthless bar wenches. If you didn't enjoy being with her, you may simply lack the taste and appreciation of the finer things in life. I for one, did always thoroughly enjoy being with...", he barely dared speak the name again, even when Regina wasn't around.
„Your bar wench?", teased the other Killian.
David raised his arms before things could get out of hand – and hook. „Now, guys, please... let's stay calm, alright! The point here is... Regina is heartbroken. Snow sent me a message earlier today that I misread at first, but now I understand what she meant. Saying that she will be home later today because she needed to take care of and speak with Regina. I... thought she was just being curious and wanted to give her the opportunity to share her joy and happiness, but given what I'm hearing now, she probably rather means giving comfort and consolation. What happened between the two of you, Killian?"
He had some difficulties pulling his hook out of the tabletop while taking another sip of beer. „I told you, I don't want to talk about it. Not in front of HIM anyway."
„Don't be silly! We want to help you! But we can't if we don't know what happened."
„It doesn't matter! I'm done with her. I've had my chance, multiple times now, and every time I've made it worse. We're not meant to be, quite the opposite, actually, and we owe it to each other to accept that. Otherwise we'll just continue causing each other pain."
„No!", said Henry decisively, „You're wrong. In fact, causing each other pain is not the opposite of love. It IS love. You're hurting because you love. That's the whole reason why it hurts so much! If you didn't care so deeply about each other, you would laugh about the whole thing instead of being and looking as miserable as you do. I won't accept you giving up on my mom because if you do, she will never be happy, she will never find her happy ending. YOU are her happy ending, Killian!"
„That is ridiculous, boy, and you know it." He emptied the rest of his beer in one go as if he hadn't just given up on Regina but on life in general.
„So what then, huh?", asked Henry, „If this thing between the two of was bound to fail anyway, even though you're in love with her? What will you do from now on? Try to forget her? How will you do that, in this small town? She's the mayor, she's everywhere! Turn to drinking again? Go on a rampage of revenge, this time without any other target but yourself? And most of all: what will Alice think about all that, your daughter? Now that you can finally all be here together, and happy? You're just... giving up?"
That speech seemed to have calmed him down and he took a deep breath. „Bloody hell, I don't know what to tell you, lad. Even if I wanted to, I've gone too far this time. She wouldn't let me near her again, I won't get another chance."
„Tell us what happened? What did you do to her?"
„I, uhm... I called her by the wrong name right as we... I mean, in the heat of passion."
Henry frowned. „What did you call her?"
„Well, what do you think? Roni, of course. Force of habit, I guess?"
„Okay... I mean, but is that so bad? It's still her name, in a way?"
„It is, and no, maybe it's not so bad in itself, but she says, to her it's still like I'm cheating on her in my head with another woman. Who ironically is also her."
„Yes, but..."
„The point is, it wasn't the first time! It keeps happening, and that woman from the past keeps coming back to me again and again, I just can't seem to let her go. Your mother has already told me before how hard this is for her, and I promised her to be mindful of it and then... They're just too similar, you know? I look into her eyes, and they're her eyes. I kiss her lips, and she tastes just the same. I just couldn't guarantee it wouldn't happen ever again. And each time will just be worse."
„Of course they're too similar, they're the same person!", Henry forcefully shook his head, „Yes, all that was stupid and inconsiderate of you. But I'm not going to accept that as a reason. Both of you, you're just scared! And that is what you will hurt each other with the most, by far."
He got up and reached for his coat and scarf.
„And where the hell are you going now?"
„Talk to my mother", he replied.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
„I didn't think you'd come", Snow said with a soft smile looking up to Regina as she entered the diner.
„Yes, well, I didn't plan to, but... somehow I still ended up here. And, you invited half the town too, I see?"
She looked around the room where they were all there: Emma, Ella, Lucy, Zelena, Robin and Alice.
„I didn't invite them, they were already here. But I can send them away if you..."
„Don't bother, please", she took off her coat, „Let's just get this over with as quickly as possible. Let me order something to drink though, first."
She walked over to the counter to order a large coffee – spiked, preferably – when Emma stepped up next to her
„You know, Regina", she quietly whispered to her, „In case you're worried about... you know, the hook, you really don't need to be. They're in perfect control over it, they'd never hurt you with it, not even in the heat of the moment. It can even be quite", she cleared her throat, „intriguing. You can also ask him to take it off in bed, just to be sure, but from my own experience, they feel much more empowered with the thing than without, at least mine does."
All the while that she was talking Regina had looked at her in disbelief.
„Are you serious?", she replied, „That's what you think happened?"
„Well... uhm, I mean... I don't know, I just know it can be intimidating? And if you've never been with someone before who has a murder weapon for a hand, I mean... in Hyperion Heights, your Killian just had a fake hand, didn't he?"
„He did, but that doesn't mean I've never slept with anyone who has a hook for a hand."
They both looked at each other, one more confused than the other, until a little smile appeared on Regina's lips when she started to realize. So at least there was something amusing to this wretched day after all.
„But, who would you..."
„... With your husband, Emma, obviously. I slept with your husband."
She didn't know what to respond to that.
„We had an affair back when we first met, in the Enchanted Forest. Long before you were even born. You... didn't know?"
She looked completely flabbergasted. „I... I actually didn't."
„Well, you knew we had been working together for a certain period of time, didn't you? What did you think we were doing?"
„I don't know, NOT sleep with each other? How should I know you'd spread your legs for every man you come across?"
„But what you DO know though is that before he met you, HE would go after every woman he even found remotely attractive and tempting, so don't put all the blame on me here! It's not my fault if he keeps his secrets from you, besides, if he told you about every single adventure of the flesh from his past it would likely take up the rest of your life, the guy's like 1,000 years old."
Granny saved the situation by serving Regina her drink. „One large milk coffee with a double shot of whiskey. Emma, what can I get you?"
She stuttered: „Nothing, thank you... I'm... I'm good."
Regina compassionately patted her back when they walked back over to their table and sat down.
„Anyway, it won't ever come to me sleeping with either Hook ever again, still though... thanks for the tip." She smiled.
„Alright then", said Snow, „So, what we were wondering..."
Zelena chimed in right away: „Please, sis, don't tell me you somehow managed to still not get laid by your handsome pirate? And to think that as your cursed selves you could barely take your hands off each other..."
Both Regina as well as Snow shot her a reproachful look. This was not the kind of sensitive approach to the topic that they had discussed!
„I'm not going to justify myself to either of you, plus, this is private! But no, your little setup there didn't work. We ended last night in a fight, so for the last time – and I really don't want to find myself in need of saying this ever again – leave us alone and go back to minding your own business! Hook and I, it's not gonna happen. Ever."
„Hook?", Snow asked with a sad smile, „Didn't you just give us this big speech about how he wants to be called ‚Killian' less than two weeks ago?"
„Yeah, well, we'd all like to be called something else than what we're sometimes being called, so... He'll survive. Isn't that what they always say? They're good at surviving?"
The door flew open and Henry walked in. „Mom! Good, you're here. You need to forgive Killian, right now!"
She turned around. „Excuse me? Why would I? How do you even know about this? And most importantly: why would you think this is any of your business?"
„It is my business, just as it is everybody's business here. You're intolerable when you're mad, mom, you once held a grudge against someone for decades and cursed an entire realm. You being unhappy has an effect on all of us, even if by now it's just having to accept your borderline mean comments and occasional death threats. I want you to be happy, we all want you to be happy. Plus, Killian is my friend, and I want him to be happy too. And right now, he isn't! As a matter of fact, he's sleeping in the Dead Rabbit tonight. He showed up there with his suitcase stating you kicked him out after he called you by your curse name while you were making out."
The entire round gasped.
Emma said: „Classic..."
„Ouch...", Zelena mouthed.
Regina's face though had almost turned the color of her lipstick. „Henry Daniel Mills! And... all of you! What are you even thinking? I'm starting to wonder whether we shouldn't bring back the demons, monsters and evil sorcerers to make sure you people stay occupied and finally leave me the fuck alone!"
„Is that all he did?", asked Ella, „Call you ‚Roni'?"
„Well... yes. After we had discussed multiple times how I disliked constantly being reminded of her."
„But that's not so bad, no? I mean, it's still you?"
„I know, but still... it also isn't! And it just feels like he's constantly thinking about another woman, a woman he had such a great time with, so much fun, such great sex..."
Emma asked: „So you decided to not even give him the chance to find out whether could have just as great of a time, just as much fun and maybe even better sex with Regina?"
„It's really not that bad", said Snow, „Sometimes, David still calls me Mary Margaret."
„And Henry calls me Jacinda", added Ella.
Alice said: „Robin called me Tilly just this morning."
Regina looked around the room, her eyes moving between her family and friends. „Really?"
They all nodded.
„Well, still though. Even if! I believe, in the end, it still wouldn't work out. It has been so difficult from the beginning, it would only get worse."
Snow put her hand on Regina's and asked with a smile: „In Hyperion Heights... did you love him? As Roni?"
Regina rolled her eyes and sighed, then she nodded. „Yes. That's not a secret. It felt... right. It felt like we found each other."
„And for him too, I assume?"
„That's what he says, at least."
„Then it's clear. You DO belong together. In whichever realm, as whichever character, cursed or not. Who belongs together will always find each other." When Regina took a breath to answer, she just raised her hand and continued: „I know you think you were two different people, and therefore you believe that you can be in love in one reality but not in another. But that's not true. I mean, look around! We all found our true love back in whichever world and under whichever circumstances, didn't we? David and I... he had been in a coma for 28 years, he was married, and still I couldn't help but fall in love with him. Or Henry and Ella. It was love at first sight all over again for you, wasn't it?"
Both smiled at each other: „It sure was!"
„And then there's Robin and Alice, same story. You may be different people, you may have different character traits and preferences, but it always, always fits together like two puzzle pieces when you've found your true love."
Regina swallowed, realizing that her eyes had started to burn with tears. „Robin Hood was my true love."
„Of course he was. But he is gone! He has been for so long. And Killian, he's still here, waiting for you."
„My papa really, really loves you, Regina", said Alice with a smile, „I have never seen him like that before. Not even in Hyperion Heights, if I remember correctly. Do you love him too? I mean now, as Regina?"
She looked down as if she wanted to drown in her whiskey coffee.
„Remember what I said", Snow continued, „Robin Hood may have been ‚one' you were destined to be with, but that doesn't mean he is the only one. And just because his life had to end way too soon, it doesn't mean you need to be alone for the rest of yours. You deserve love, and you deserve happiness! And if Roni and Rodgers were happy together in Hyperion Heights, and if you felt that it was right and you belonged together, then that means with absolute certainty that Regina and Killian belong together in Storybrooke too! And that minor inconvenience of bringing up your cursed identity again and again, that will fade. You know, sometimes it's also just a matter of not being able to say goodbye. None of us could say goodbye to the people we loved when we were cursed. We were all just... gone, when the curse broke, from one second to the next. Left with whatever it was that we were feeling about it."
Zelena added: „And in your case, you even got a head start of a few weeks. You were woken up long before him, you had already had your chance to say goodbye to Rogers and come to terms with the fact that he's not real and will disappear, I know how you were struggling, I was there! Now he's probably going through that very same phase. Don't be too hard on him, sis! Give him another chance, or better yet: take matters into your own hands and show HIM how you feel for once. Conquer him, seduce him... The more active your part in all this, the less chance he has to fuck it up."
Regina continued staring into her mug as if the answer to all her problems was to be found at the bottom of it. Then she finished her drink in one go and got up with a new idea that made her heart beat faster. If all they were saying was true, then maybe this could work... or she would just make an utter fool of herself.