"Drown me. You make my heart beat like the rain."
Electric Love
Børns
Dream spent Christmas Eve with Jade. George and Sapnap rolled their eyes immensely before letting him go. They set up The Polar Express on the living room flatscreen for Ashlyn and settled down to watch.
George had never seen Sapnap so excited to do children's things. Suddenly, the younger man became Ashlyn's best friend, as the first week of George's stay came to a close. Merry and bright with nothing white falling from the sky the three reigned in Christmas.
"Karl wants to FaceTime," Sapnap announced. "He knows you're here."
George frowned, "you told him?"
Sapnap silenced his phone and shifted Ashlyn around on his lap. She was content to stare, with very few thoughts running through her mind, at the movie before them. The younger man mulled over his words with a slackened jaw before canting his neck to the side.
George hadn't come around to talk to Karl, nor Quackity... yet. The last few texts were still left untouched from years before. Sad little blips in time and space that George refused to disturb. It was the fear of their judgment that kept him at a distance. What would they say? What would they think? His gut churned trying to predict the entirety of every outcome.
"I told him you were here," Sapnap shrugged. "Because Quackity is spending Christmas with him they usually call... I didn't tell em about Ashlyn though."
George remained a silent body rested on the plush cushions of the armchair. Deep in darkened thoughts, only the jingle of Christmas bells from the tv brought him back to hid body.
"They will love her," Sapnap tried. "I do! It's..."
"Quackity hates kids," George reminded. The two had spoken about the subject in length when he visited years ago. Drunk over pints from the pub, the walk home consisted of hashing out the future. And for Quackity any form of child was a no-go. Abandon ship.
"Karl doesn't."
He looked away and mutter his real fear, "they won't want to talk to me."
Sapnap huffed, clearly fed up with this conversation, "can I call them or not?"
The choice wasn't really his because the second the next incoming call came through, Sapnap answered it. Ashlyn looked down at the phone with a mild expression. Those subtle brows of hers scrunched along with the bridge of her nose. It was the look she gave new people she met. George knew she would either hide from them or talk excessively.
"Sapnap! My love!"
"Karl! Snuck'ems!"
"God shut up lovebirds!"
They were so familiar. Even bow after all the time. It was as if he'd joined a discord call with them, he listened to their banter and remembered late nights. George hid a nervous frown behind a palm and stayed out of camera shot. This was better if Sapnap laid out his easy-going foundation before dropping the George bomb on them.
"Why do you have a child," Quackity snorted. "Did you kidnap someone again?"
"Hey!" Sapnap chuckled, "it was one time and that was my cousin!"
"Yeah, yeah. What-"
"She's cute!" Karl's distinct tone came through the speakers. "Who's baby is that?"
Sapnap looked up at George and raised his brows. They were expectant. He shook his head in response. Sapnap tried again with pursed lips. George refused once more.
"George," he muttered, impatient. "Come on."
"George!" Karl called still yet to see him, "where have you been man! We missed you."
He heard the somber tone of Quackity come in a moment later, "he's fucking with us, Karl. George isn't there."
He felt the guilt immediately. Like a drop of a thousand tons, George's shoulders tensed. The brunette used to talk with Quackity almost every day since they'd become friends, so he could only imagine what it felt like to get dropped as he had. To have him simply stop answering. It was enough for George to get up and plop down next to Sapnap. The couch unceremoniously creaked beneath his sudden movements while his heart matched its painful groan.
"Hey," he managed. Blood was beating in his ears.
The silence was defending and Ashlyn always knew how to make it worse.
"Dada!" She reached for him with a pout, George reluctantly pulled her from Sapnap's lap. Soft in a fluffy jumpsuit, Ashlyn hugged him immediately and George settled back into his bones once more.
The phone was held steady before the three of them. Just enough for each to fit into the tiny camera box above Quackity's memorable beanie. They both looked the same. Karl and his older style button-ups and Quackity's expensive casual. But George could only look for so long before their dumbfounded expressions became too much. Ashlyn pulled his attention down before he had to look away.
"Hey, man." Karl cleared his throat, "Merry Christmas."
George nodded and muttered the same.
Quackity scoffed, "well fuck you too, asshole! Why haven't... where...what the fuck...George?" Silence, and Karl's elbow, hushed his hostile tone, "Merry Christmas?"
"Bad words, dada."
"I know, Ashlyn." George sighed deeply.
"So..." Karl drawled. "Someone want to fill us in because we're confused."
George nudged Sapnap who started terribly, "George is an idiot."
"I am not!"
"Shut up," he smiled. "You need to be quiet and remember the safe sex talk."
"Sapnap," he reprimanded holding Ashlyn's ears.
"What! If you want me to explain it this is how I'm going to explain it!"
"Whatever."
"Do you want me to explain it or not dumbass?"
"Not if you say it like that!"
Karl's smile seemed to become more worried as their bickering continued. Shifting into a chair they moved the camera. Quackity chose to stare daggers into George's soul once they settled in.
"So" Karl waved a hand, "you have a child?"
He shrugged, "Yeah."
"Why?" Quackity sounded horrified.
George rolled his eyes and let Sapnap cut in, "because he's an idiot!"
"You and Dream brought me to the party!"
"We didn't tell you to do it without a condom-"
"Sapnap!"
"I'm right!"
"Woah!" Karl's laugh severed the heated argument. "So you are telling us that when you visited you... and now? How old is she?"
"Two," Sapnap and George said at the same time. George glared at his friend a smacked him on the back of the head. He relaxed into giggles jolting the phone.
"That's why you stopped talking to me?" Quackity's voice was calm, a façade for how hurt he actually was. "You didn't want to tell me?"
"Look," George tried. "Quackity I..."
"He didn't tell anyone," Sapnap explained. "Not even Dream."
Both men on the screen raised brows at that, George despised them almost as much as he missed them. Their damn need to meddle in his relationships and friendships. It was the same and he briefly wondered if it would ever change. This still felt like the inklings of closure wandering into his heart. Easy as a song it played soft through phone speakers.
"Dream!" Ashlyn clapped, "dada like Dream."
George wiped a tired hand over his face, "Ashlyn say hi to Karl. And Quckity."
"Quack," she giggled. "Quack quack."
Karl held a hand over his heart, "I'm offended."
"She likes ducks," George reasoned. "It's her favorite bath toy."
"Bath ducks!"
"So, you stopped talking to me because you had a baby?" Quackity didn't seem to have that wrapped around his brain yet. "George, why?"
He chewed his bottom lip, "you don't like kids. We talked about it. I... I know you wouldn't have taken this well and-" he looked down and fixed Ashlyn's tiny bow. "I'm sorry."
"You thought..." George despised the look Quackity was giving him. Soft and malleable enough to tug on his heartstrings. "It's you, George. It's different. I don't like airport kids or the ones that rub their noses on my jacket. Not her... she's...it's not the same."
"Right." George didn't feel convinced.
Sapnap huffed, "I told you. George, you're such a-"
"Shut up, Sapnap." Ashlyn leaned back and rested against her father's chest seeming to almost be ready for bed. The movie was coming to an end in the background as well. Santa was already on the screen handing the main character a bell.
"Well," the younger man said after a tense silence. "You guys coming for new years?"
George's brows kissed his hairline. It was news to him, this new years party. Apparently, it was a big affair. Drinks, weed, friends, and definitely not something Ashlyn could be brought to. It was the same every year, George just hadn't been around to experience it.
"Are you guys still having the party?" Karl seemed to look earnestly at Ashlyn dozing off.
"Oh," Sapnap snapped into reality then looked at George. "I don't know. I'll have to ask Dream."
"We might just have to do a small gathering if there is a baby involved," Quackity said. George's stomach sunk. This is exactly what he didn't want to happen all those years ago, their compromise. He didn't want to take away from their fun because of him.
"It's fine guys," George reassured. "I can always go somewhere else. You should have your party."
"Without you?" Karl looked heartbroken. George hated that expression, it made him feel like a villain.
He sighed and stood with his sleepy baby, "you've done it for two years, one more shouldn't be a big deal."
"George," Sapnap tried but he was already walking towards the bedroom.
As he passed the front foyer, his timing seemed to be ironic. The locks clicked and a moment later Dream sauntered in, he looked... self-satisfied. George knew that expression all too well. It was seared into the back of his brain where all his wishful thinking formed. Filled with memories and unavailable almost.
Caught like a deer in headlights, Dream looked at him. George managed a smile, "goodnight, Dream."
"You're going to sleep?" Dream's voice sounded hoarse and gravely in George's ears. "It's barely ten."
"Yeah," it was barely above a whisper. His chin gestured back to Sapnap, "he's talking to Quackity and Karl if you wanna say hi. Think they want to discuss new years."
"Oh." Both brows creased, worried.
"It's not a big deal by the way." Ashlyn pulled on his neck and George looked down, "me and Ash can find something else to do that weekend."
Dream turned his head to the living room and George couldn't help but burn at the sight of his collar. He never put those there, Dream never let him leave marks back when they were... together? She must've had a great time doing it, painting him in purple and mulberry. George hated to admit it but they made Dream look even more desirable. Colored like an already exquisite painting. He walked around like a daydream and George knew exactly how it felt to hold on to the fantasy while in bed. Sweet and careful, he forced his eyes away.
Dream caught the lingering stare and covered his neck subconsciously. "Um... no. It's just a dumb party. We don't have to have it."
"Have the party," George said. "I'm not taking the fun away."
"Hey, it's really..."
"Night night," Ashlyn whined. Blinking open those pretty eyes, she looked at Dream and waved. "Night night, Dream."
"Little Ashy Ash," Dream's entire demeanor flipped. He immediately came up to kiss her forehead and smooth over her hair. "You going night-night?"
She nodded and held out a hand, "dada, Dream come night night too?"
"No baby," George said trying not to feel ill from the Dior perfume on Dream's clothes. It covered the aroma of summer and replaced it with bitter musky fruit. "Dream can't-"
"I can help you put her to sleep if you want." His offer was timid and touchy. Almost as if Dream was trying not to break a boundary. "Only if you want. Maybe we can talk after."
"Dream," Ashlyn clasped her hand a few times. "Night night."
George couldn't keep his baby from her only bedtime wish, "okay."
While George got Ashlyn ready for bed Dream took a shower. He hoped the younger man would come back smelling like himself rather than Jade. George wanted warmth and reassurance, he wanted Dream. His best friend from years before, that dripped with palm and sweet. Dealing with lingering marks and blissed-out attitude was fine, George just wanted the smell of his best friend back. It was a small comfort George tried not to become attached to. But it seems that ship sailed long ago.
Ashlyn blinked at him with sleepy eyes as George changed her clothes. A pastel purple onesie, one his mother bought, was her favorite. The front had a tiny monarch butterfly next to a cute little sun. George wondered if that's where his mother got miss sunshine from.
"Dada," Ashlyn whined. "Hugies."
"Hugies," he sighed pulling her to his chest.
Lying down on the mattress he held Ashlyn close and watched Dream walk in a moment later. His smile was simple. Attractive and familiar in the dim light of the bedroom, he sighed. George eyed his wet hair and flushed shower cheeks with grave envy. For Jade, for Dream, for all of it.
"Dream's back," George hummed to Ashlyn.
Dream didn't hesitate to climb onto the bed and crawl up to meet them. The mattress groaned and settled as he laid facing George, Ashlyn warmly tucked between them. She uncurled from George's chest to reach for Dream. He let her clasp a small hand around his finger. George huffed.
"Just so lovable, huh?" Dream smiled in response. "Even babies love you."
"Like father like daughter." The comment made George bristle. Because if that wasn't true he didn't know what was, although admitting it would take him out. He settled down to watch Dream look easily upon Ashlyn like she was a new revelation.
"You wish."
The silence was comfortable. George banished every terrible thought he had about this domestic interaction and chose to stay present. Here where things were real.
Without thinking, he reached over and dug two fingers into the freshly washed strands of Dream's hair. Dirty blond and heated from the shower, it was soft between George's nimble hand. He thought the other would pull away, tell him off, but he let his eyes slip closed beneath the touch. The exhale felt heavy enough to break them both.
Those fingers wandered and wandered. Over his cheek, his naturally arched brow, his velvet-soft ear. Wander and memorize until they stopped on the contusions littering his neck. Dream tensed. George sighed. He wanted and wanted and wanted but decided not to say a word. He moved his hand back up.
"George?" That voice was soft enough to tug him further into the deep end.
George hummed and asked, "does she make you happy?"
Dream looked stumped, "what?"
"Jade," her name felt like a deadening poison. "Does she... make you happy?"
"Oh," he shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so."
Good, George thought. That's all he wanted in the long run. That's all he'd ever allow himself to want from the other man, his happiness.
With a genuine upturn of his lips, George dragged his hand up and moved to pull away. Dream latched on to his fingers immediately, brushing them against his lips.
"I don't want to have a big New Years' party." A kiss to George's palm, "I haven't wanted to party since you left."
Ashlyn shifted and gripped Dream's t-shirt. George let Dream place one last kiss on his hand before letting it rub over Ashlyn's shoulder. She was short for her age, five inches below average. Nonetheless, she fit perfectly between them, tucked in with even breaths. Sandwiched safely with care, Ashlyn had fallen deep into sleep.
"I don't want to take away from all of it." George whispered, "it's why I stayed away in the first place."
"Sapnap always wants to party. He's Sapnap," Dream's smile was carefully depicted in the dim light of the bedroom. "And if he really wants to party he can go to Punz. I know he's having a get-together."
"Jade won't be upset?" George tried, "if you don't have a new year's party?"
Dream rolled his eyes, "she's going on a cruise that week. Told me a few hours ago. Think it was a ploy to get me away from here."
His hand dragged over Ashlyn's back soothing circles into even breaths, "you didn't want to go?"
Dream looked up. Those green eyes looked hazel and dulled in the light but George still felt special. So special and seen with the attention on him. If he could have someone look at him this way forever he wouldn't complain.
With no doubt in his words, he said, "I'd rather be here with you." Dream looked down and brushed over Ashlyn's cheek, "with her."
"Thought you didn't like kids."
"I never said I didn't like them," Dream corrected with a smile. "Just said I didn't want any of my own."
George huffed, "Ashlyn grows on people." They shared a gentle smile, "I love her. So much."
"You know," there was a lift to his voice, "it's odd hearing you say that now. You used to basically choke over those words."
George huffed, "because you begged for them all the time."
"Did not!"
"You did." The finality in George's voice made Dream shift with protest. Ashlyn gripped tighter on Dream's shirt and pushed her head back against George's neck. He took the liberty to kiss her hair. "You were always so starved for attention."
"Only your attention."
George was glad the room was too dark to see his cheeks redden, "you're an idiot."
The silence came to pass against the open-ended conversation. Both content to let Ashlyn sleep, they laid dormant. Only the timid squeak of the ceiling fan and faint inklings of Sapnap's laughter reigned in Christmas day for the two of them.
"I'm going to have to sleep here," Dream asked at some point, "aren't I?"
With a look at Ashlyn, George nodded, "unless you wait an hour or so. She shouldn't wake up once she's been sleeping a while."
Dream hummed and reached over to caress George's cheek, "And what about you. Are you going to sleep?"
"I can't," he teased. "I'm waiting for Santa to show up."
"You're twenty-five," he deadpanned.
George snorted.
A/n
Lol, this fic is just fluff honestly I have no direction for it 😅
I have some of the band AU written. Currently working on the cover.
Sorry to ghost like this, these past few weeks have been a lot for some reason. Been very stressed and busy.
Thank you for reading I appreciate all of you ❤️