Lisa POV
"How long are they going to make us wait for a table?" Irene demanded, tapping her foot against the floor and rolling her carefully made-up eyes at me. I managed to smile back at her, even though I wanted to roll my eyes right back.
"Well, if you'd booked a table for----
"We shouldn't have to book!" She exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air and attracting the attention of a couple of people waiting next to the host stand as well. "This is the kind of place that would be glad to have our patron age."
"Clearly not that glad," I muttered back without thinking, forgetting that Irene didn't exactly take well to being undermined.
"What did you say?" She planted her heel in the ground and swivelled around on it, as though she was wishing she could grind it into me instead.
"Nothing," I held my hands up. "Just hope they won't be much longer, that's all."
"We'll expire from hunger before we get a table," she sighed heavily, as though she really believed the words coming out of her mouth. "I can't believe this..."
I didn't bother to comment again, knowing it wasn't worth my while to delve into exactly why it was about the most entitled thing in the world for her to rock up at a restaurant that was practically the most in-demand in Delhi and expect them to cow to the two of us. I glanced around, and noticed a few people looking in our direction, probably wondering why she was making such a fuss. I was starting to wonder why I had even come on this date in the first place.
Well, no, I knew what I was doing here - I knew I was here because I wanted to do every thing I could to get Jennie out of my head and, so far, sitting around getting mildly irritated by Irene was a far better option than sitting at home getting deeply annoyed by my inability to let go of the woman I wanted back. I I still had no idea where she had gone to, but when I had told Rosé about the situation, she had told me to let things go.
"She's got family in the city," Rosé pointed out. "She probably went back there. This has all been a lot for her, Lis; you've got to understand that. The way she reacts to things might not seem logical to you or me, but it does to her, and that's the most important thing."
"Right," I nodded, and I tried to ignore the twist in my stomach at the thought of her getting up and leaving in the night. Without even saying goodbye? It didn't feel right. But Rosé was the one who understood this far better than I ever could, and I wasn't going to push her to give me permission to put my life on hold and chase a woman who had left me.
"The two of you... you grew a little too attached to her," Rosé hesitated for a moment, trying to find the best way to phrase it - even for her bluntness, she could tell that this had been hard on me. I knew what she was asking, but the thought of trying to quantify what Jennie and I had shared was painful, impossible, like trying to trap the galaxy in a glass jar.
"The two of us," I sighed and repeated after her. She nodded, her mouth tight. She reached over and patted my arm.
"I'm sorry," she murmured, and I didn't dare to look in her eyes for fear of spilling every thing that I had been keeping so carefully to myself all this time.
When I had told her that Irene was back in my life, her eyes had rolled so hard to the back of her head that I had been sure they would end up stuck there. She had never been the biggest fan of my ex, but given how Irene was, I couldn't blame her.
This was the fifth time the two of us had gone out together in the last ten days. She was constantly pressing me to spend time together, even though she never actually seemed to have a good time when we were out. But I kept agreeing, certain that things would have changed enough that I would eventu ally break through her shell and find the real Irene inside.
What shocked me was that she hadn't changed since we had split up. It had been so long ago. I looked back on the person I was then and felt as though I barely knew who he was; but she still seemed well-acquainted with the person she'd been before.
"Finally," she groaned loudly as the host approached us and gestured to a small table that had just become free. I had suggested we should go somewhere smaller, quieter, so we could actually talk, but she had insisted on this hip, busy, expensive place. Along with everyone else in the city, it seemed.
She smiled at me, a smile that barely reached her eyes, and I looked back at the exact same woman I had dated so many years ago. How could she not have changed? Did she really just reach twenty-one and think 'well, that's all the development I need as a person?" It was almost fascinating, in its own way, and part of the reason I kept on finding myself back here opposite her, even though I knew nothing was going to happen between us.
"It's so nice to come out like this." She smiled at me, as though she hadn't just been on the brink of throwing a tantrum in the middle of this restaurant a few minutes before. I man aged to smile back.
"What kind of food do they do here?" I asked as the waiter arrived with our menus and a bottle of water.
"No idea," she shrugged. "But I've heard it's good."
I winced when I took a look at the prices. Not that I couldn't afford them, but I knew she would expect me to pay for her dinner, as well. And she never seemed to hold back on ordering the most expensive things on the menu. Now, that was something that had changed about her. Back in the day, she had always been keen to flash her cash around any chance she got, making sure that anyone paying attention could tell that she was from a well-off family and could afford anything she wanted. Maybe she had just realized that most grown men would lavish her with any kind of attention she wanted, and she no longer had to bother going into her own pocket for things?
"Hmm..." She closed the menu and leaned back in her seat. "You know, I'm not sure I like the look of this place after all. Everything on the menu looks so.... fusion-y."
I stared at her, utterly incredulous, across the table. "We just waited forty-five minutes for a seat," I remarked.
"But I just don't want to be here," she whined, and that wheedling tone was like a sense memory that shot me straight back to the dozens of dates we'd been on just like this when I had been young enough to think that her selfishness was cute and bold instead of seeing it for what it was.
"Fine," I got to my feet. "I know somewhere back in the city. Let's go."
I took her to a small place not far from my penthouse, glad to have some good food in my belly; it made it a lot easier to listen to her moaning about every little thing, including the décor and the way it smelled in there. As she nibbled on some of the dishes in front of us, I couldn't help but stare at her, searching for whatever it was I had seen in her back then. It was baffling to me, utterly and completely.
She insisted on riding with me back to the villa, tucking her arm through mine as we stepped out of the restaurant, and I waited to feel that spark of attraction, something, any thing. No matter how I felt about her, Irene was an undeniably attractive woman, and any other man would have been thrilled by her touch. But I found myself cold towards her.
"I had such a wonderful time tonight," Irene fluttered her lashes at me pointedly, and it felt like she was doing what she knew she had to in order to seduce me. Even she didn't seem to really believe it, rather churning out the lines and the actions she knew were meant to lead to something happening. I couldn't figure out why she had been so in sistent on us spending so much time together. Maybe she wanted to settle down and couldn't be bothered building a history with someone else, so just decided to tap into one she already had? Even still, she must have seen how awk ward it was, how little we had to say to one another. I was swiftly running out of patience for it, and I was meant to be the one distracting myself.
She climbed out of the car with me, taking me by surprise - did she expect to be invited in? I paused by the door as the cab drove off, not sure how to get rid of her without being harsh.
"Lisa, I didn't realize how much I'd missed you until you were gone," she murmured, suddenly shifting towards me so that our bodies were mere inches apart. I had to tell her the truth, that this had been a mistake and that I had been wrong to lead her on like this. I let out a long sigh, shook my head, and opened my mouth--
But before I could say a word, she leaned up and kissed me. Hard. Her tongue was in my mouth at once, her hands clasping my head as though she knew I would try to get away, and it took me a split second to realize what was happening before I struggled to remove her. Grabbing her waist, I pulled her away from me, and the heat of her mouth on mine felt as though it was pulsing in a regular beat: Jennie, Jennie, Jennie. My heart ached in my chest. Now, the last woman to kiss me was Irene. Not the woman I wanted.
"What's wrong?" Irene furrowed her brow and then smiled at me seductively. "We can go upstairs if you don't want to start down here..."
"No, it's not that," I shook my head. "Irene, I'm sorry, but this isn't working out. I don't think we should see each other anymore."
"What?" Her voice rose into a sharp shriek, and I withered internally. The last thing I needed was a confrontation. I just wanted her to leave.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have led you on,” I conceded. "But I don't think it would be good for either of us to start things back up. It didn't work then, and it won't work now."
She stared up at me, her mouth hanging open, looking like a cartoon character miming 'shocked'. How could she be surprised by this?
"You just haven't given me a chance," she fired back, furious. "You still think you're so above me just because I made some mistakes when we were first dating. You don't get to judge people on who they used to be, Lisa!"
I just stared down at her. I was gobsmacked. Had she really been under the impression that we had been having an amazing time this last couple of weeks? That the tension had not been building to near-unbearable levels?
"Listen to me," she grabbed my hand, and I drew it back without thinking. Her touch felt poisonous, like she was shooting venom into my system with every touch.
"Listen to me!" She exclaimed again, and I knew by now that the neighbours would be gathering at their windows, trying to figure out where all this commotion was coming from. I glanced around, hoping that I would be able to get this over with quickly.
"You're not even looking at me," she pointed out, shaking her head. “I mean, you can't even look me in the eye and tell me you don't want to be with me. I don't know what's going on, Lisa, but we're allowed to be together. You're allowed to want me..."
She moved towards me again, back in seduction mode, and I stepped back.
"I don't know how I can make this more obvious to you," I told her firmly. "I don't want this to happen. Any of it. I think you need to move on"
"I don't want to!" She exploded, and she seemed an inch away from stamping her foot on the ground like a child who wasn't getting her way.
"You don't get to make that choice," I replied, trying to keep my voice calm in the face of her overreaction. "Take some time to think about this. I don't think you want this, either."
"You don't get to tell me what I want," she jabbed a finger into my chest, hard. "You need to think about what's right for you. You're not getting any younger, Lisa, and women are starting to talk - you're not married, you're not dating, you're not starting a family, what are you going to do with the rest of your life?"
As I looked down at her, her words sinking into my brain as I tried to make sense of them, a silent answer filled my head - Jennie. I knew I couldn't tell her about that, or any of what had happened between me and Jennie, but everything she had accused me of hiding from - I did want it, just not with her. With a woman who had left me without looking back. A woman I hadn't heard from in two weeks.
I looked her dead in the eye, no longer entertained by her antics. I wanted her gone.
"You should go," I told her firmly, and I saw her recoil slightly, surprised by my firmness.
"Fine," she tugged her jacket around her shoulders. "But I'll be here when you finally figure out that you need me."
"Alright," I shook my head and sighed as she turned and went to flag down a cab. I waited to make sure she'd found one alright, and then retreated to the penthouse. Instead of going to my bedroom, though, I found myself lingering in the doorway of Jennie's room. Staring at the muddled sheets, untouched from the morning I had woken up with her. I knew there was no way I was getting any sleep that night. Not without her at my side.
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