You stared at your girlfriend in disbelief. The words that had just left her lips took you by surprise and immediately made you feel both disappointed and angry.
She'd just arrived home after a long and exhausting day. You expected her to want to be wrapped in your arms or for you to cuddle with her while a cozy film plays.
You didn't expect her to be in such a terrible mood and you surely didn't expect her to say what she said about your plans tomorrow.
"What do you mean we have to cancel the reservations and see about going in a few more weeks?"
"I mean exactly that, y/n." She said as she sipped on some cold water and tightened the ponytail that held back her long dark hair. "I can't make it."
"But you promised. We've had this scheduled for a couple of weeks. Who knows when we'll be able to do something together again for a while." You spoke in sadness, only for her to shrug her shoulders.
"I'm sorry, babe. I don't know what to tell you."
"I'd say I'm surprised by this but I'm not." You grumbled.
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you're so busy you don't have time for me anymore!"
"Are you being serious right now? I always make time for you!" She said as she gazed at you in shock as if she couldn't believe what you were saying.
"Oh, really? When? The last date we had? Oh, wait, that was a whole month ago and we were supposed to go out a week ago and you took a raincheck and promised that we'd go out tomorrow! Is that what you mean by making time for me? Since our date last month, we haven't had much time together. A movie here, a shower together there. That's it, Jen."
"I do my best but I'm an idol, too. I can't just say I don't want to do certain things. I would much rather spend time with you but I can't!"
"You could try! Look at all the times the girls have been able to miss a day here and there or leave a few hours early because of certain important things. They've done it. Not a lot because they know that everything you all do is important but they've done it on occasion. Why can't you?"
She didn't say a word. She just closed her eyes and let out a long sigh as she began to think about what to do.
"Do you just not want to?"
"What?" She asked as she quickly lifted her head.
"Do you just not want to spend time with me?"
"Oh, don't start!" She yelled in frustration.
"I can't help but worry, Jennie. Sometimes I worry that you don't want to spend time with me."
"When you act like this I don't!"
"I just feel alone, Jennie! I'm sad and I miss you and I just want to spend some time with you!" You sniffled as you began to feel anxious as you continued to fight, something you absolutely hate doing with Jennie.
"I have so much going on, y/n. I don't have time for this."
"This? Or me?"
She shook her head and tangled her fingers in her hair.
"You know what, if this is how you're going to act, I should just leave!"
Your heart dropped at those words.
Was she being serious?
Was she expecting you to call her bluff?
You weren't sure what she was thinking. You didn't know if she actually meant those words she had said. But your anxiety intensified over the thought of her leaving.
Your heart was hammering against your chest and you felt like you could barely breathe.
You could barely stand any longer and sat down on the floor, which made Jennie furrow her eyebrows.
"Y/N," She sighed and parted her lips to continue talking but you didn't want to hear it.
You feared it was just going to be more talk of her leaving and that was something you didn't know if you could handle.
You tangled your fingers in your hair and closed your eyes tightly as you began to have an anxiety attack.
Jennie has been by your side through many of them before. She knows what they look like. She knows how horrible and how intense they are.
So, instinctively, she rushed to you when she saw you starting to have one.
All of frustration and anger faded away and all she could focus on was helping you through this.
"Look at me, y/n." She softly spoke and slowly coaxed you into opening your eyes.
When you did, you saw that she was staring at you. She took your hands from your hair and gently held them with hers. Your palms were sweating and your fingers were trembling and you could barely breathe.
"Try and take a deep breath."
"I can't."
"You can, baby. I know you can." She soothed. "Deep breath. For me. Come on, my love. Breathe with me."
You took some deep breaths with her help, only finding that you could get air into your lungs when she took some deep breaths with her.
"Good. You're doing great." She said. "I know it's awful. I know how terrible your anxiety attacks are but you're going to get through this one just as you always do. You can do it, I'm right here with you."
"You're going to leave."
"No." She softly assured. "I'm not going anywhere. I mean that, my love. Even when this is over, I'm still going to be right here."
You continued to take some deep breaths and found comfort in her presence.
"I don't know why I said what I said. It was stupid and it was terrible of me to say. I didn't mean it. I never would. I love you so much and I will never leave you. I promise."
You sniffled and started to calm down a little.
"And I will make sure we go on that date tomorrow. I don't care what it is I have to do. I will be there. You have my word. I am not backing out." She promised as she brushed her thumbs across your knuckles.
You swallowed thickly as your heart began to beat normally again and your breathing slowed a little.
"And we're going to go on dates more often. Whether it be out places or here at home. We're going to spend more time together. We need that. I need you and I love you and I'm so sorry for the things I said. I'm sorry I haven't been a great girlfriend and that you've been feeling so sad lately. That changes tonight. It changes right now."
"You're an amazing girlfriend, Jennie." You spoke. "You always have been. You make me feel loved and you're always here when I truly need you. But I miss you and sometimes I feel like we're growing apart and that you might not want to spend time with me and you're just making excuses."
"No, baby girl. That is not it at all. I swear." She softly said as she stared at you with a loving gaze. "You're my whole world. I haven't shown that very well lately but, as I said, that changes right now."
"I just miss you. I just want to spend time with you and I don't want to lose you."
"You're never going to lose me." She smiled. "I love you so much and I miss you too. That's why we're going to spend a lot more time together. You're the most important thing in my life and I will not let you go."
You put your arms around her to give her a huge hug and she did the same to you, holding you tightly.
"I'm sorry for everything." You said.
"Me too, my love. But all is forgiven. Let's put everything behind us."
"I'd love that." You said, cracking a smile.
"Do you feel okay? Any better?"
You nodded and she kissed your head a few times.
"Good. I love you lots."
"I love you too." You said and let out a happy sigh, so thankful that everything is going to get much better now.