Content Warnings:
•Mentions of Death
•Season 4 Spoilers
•Strong Language
•Violence
•Ghosts
•Hitting
•Blood
•Loss
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Sensitive content is present in this chapter, please read at your own discretion.
Flashback
"Why does she have to come over? She's pure evil!" You frowned at your father. "(Nickname)," He sighed and took a break from his work. "She's not "evil," you need an older female in your life to help 'ya. This is good for 'ya! She loves 'ya like you're her own." He exclaimed in an effort to change your mind. "Yes, she is! She hates me! She treats me like a piece of shit! Nobody ever believes me!" You raised your voice in frustration. "That's not true-" The man countered but you cut him off. "Oh really? What did you, Tristan, and Quincy think when I told you I talk to dead people?" You asked, arms crossed as you waited for a response.
"Exactly." You sneered when your father had nothing to say to that. With a huff, you left the workshop to go to your room, and slammed the door shut. You felt warm tears prick at the corners of your eyes the second you sat on the edge of your bed. You hated that narcissist and she knew it. That's what she always wanted from you, so it'd be easier for her to play victim for her games.
You heard footsteps approach your door and recognized them as your father's. In anger, you pushed yourself off the bed, and gripped the back of your desk chair. "(Nickname), please open the door." He pleaded from the other side of it. "Go away!" You shouted as your grip tightened. "Quincy, would 'ya try to get her out of there?" You heard your father mumble. Suddenly, your door swung open. Quincy, and your father both stood outside in the hallway.
"The hell you two want?!" You shouted and picked up the chair. "Geez, Y/n! Calm down! Why're you so mad?" Quincy frowned as he entered your room. "I said leave me alone!" You threatened to throw the wooden chair at him as you held it over your head. Before you could have swung it, Quincy grabbed ahold of your arm while the other grabbed a chair leg, his strength overriding yours. "What's up with you and your man-strength?" Your older brother asked as he unhinged your grip from the chair to set it back down. However, he still held your arm.
"Nothing." You muttered and jerked your arm back from his grasp. Quincy inaudibly sighed as he rubbed his temple in annoyance. "A sixteen-year-old girl shouldn't be acting so violent over hatred, y'know?" He tried to reason but you didn't say anything back. You only sat down on the edge of your bed again. You really did not want to socialize anymore and Quincy eventually got the hint, and left your room but left the door cracked open.
Lying down on your bed, you covered your face with your hands with a long sigh. You then heard a noise as your bed gently dipped beside you. "What is it, (dog's name)?" You asked without removing your hands from your face. You heard her/him whine as she/he rested her/his chin on your stomach so you rubbed her/his head. You sat up from your previous laying position and looked down at (dog's name) with a blank expression. "You hate her too, right? So you can understand where I'm coming from." You quietly conversed with the dog, even though it was one-sided. She/He looked up at you and wagged her/his tail a bit, not understanding you but happy to be around you, nonetheless.
After a few seconds of silence, (dog's name) suddenly pounced off your bed and left your bedroom. "Well, that lasted." You sighed to yourself and got up. As soon as you were standing, (dog's name) was back at your feet, holding her/his favorite toy in her/his mouth. A soft chuckle escaped as you grabbed the toy from her/him and threw it out the door. (Dog's name) bolted out of your room again and chased after the toy down the hall.
You laughed as you heard the sound of her/his claws scratch against the wooden floor. The noise stopped for a moment before you heard it again but it grew louder. Without time to process, she/he was back, and sat in front of you as she/he waited for you to throw the toy again. "You're too precious, aren't you?" You grinned as you took the toy and threw it down the hall again.
Later that evening when you looked out your window, you heard a knock on the front door, downstairs. "Quincy, can 'ya get that?" You heard your father shout. "Oh! Quincy, how are you?" Tamara's obnoxious voice chirped. You banged your forehead against the window a few times to cause a ringing in your ears so you wouldn't have to listen to her, anymore. Unfortunately, you couldn't knock yourself out, meaning you would have to interact with her. After you gave up, you returned to your bed to lie down.
You didn't leave your bedroom that entire night, waiting for Tamara to leave, instead. You would avoid her at all costs. Even when Quincy tried to convince you to come out for dinner, you refused, no matter how hungry you were. She was the real witch in the house. While in your empty thoughts, you heard someone at the end of the hall, so you paused to listen. A faint knock then tapped on your door, which made you get up to answer it. You only regretted doing that. The moment you saw her sage-green eyes, you wished you could slam the door shut in her face but you had some self-control.
"What." You stated rather than asked with an irritated tone. "Well, I'm leaving now. Thought I'd at least say bye." She announced with a sickly grin. "Okay, bye." You said for her and folded your arms. The strawberry-blonde woman rolled her eyes, which irked you but you remained unbothered on the outside. She "smiled" again and, out of nowhere, grabbed you in a hug but you never hugged back, only feeling trapped. "I will get my way, Y/n, just watch. I'm not done making you miserable." She whispered which made your eyes widen as you saw your father show up behind her.
"Did you hear her?!" You exclaimed and shoved the woman off of you. "Hear what?" Your father raised a brow out of confusion. As usual, Tamara blamed it on you, always crying wolf. "I just said "bye" and she started threatening me!" Tamara claimed with a bewildered expression which fooled your father. "You're such a liar, you fucking bastard!" You shouted but immediately regretted it when you felt your father's burning stare on your figure. He was beyond furious at you, still baffled you would say such a crude thing about someone, especially Tamara.
The taller man stepped forward, not knowing how else to discipline you, so, he slapped you upside the head. Your hands immediately shot up to the back of your skull which throbbed in pain. You were used to Quincy being rough with you but never once had you been hit that hard. You kept your gaze low as the room fell silent, an awkwardness lingering between yourself and your father. Although, you could sense a wave of guilt cross his person as his own hand stung from the amount of force he used. He, too, was shocked by his own reaction. He had never once struck you and after that day, he never wanted it to happen again.
Without another word, both Tamara, and your father left your bedroom as you stood uncomfortably still. You did not know what to think at that moment, mind sort of lost, yet, it seemed to go a million other places at once. Defeated, you found yourself on the floor, chest leaning against your knees while you continued to hold your head. Before you could have gotten too spaced-out, a gentle paw laid on your arm, a sad look on your dog's face as she/he sat beside you. "Hey girl/boy." You sighed and rubbed her/his back for comfort. "You'll always be good to me." You whispered.
Flashback End
The rays of the sun heavily beat down on your (color) flesh, already stinging as a burn sets in on the hot afternoon. Tasked with hauling supplies beside Mikasa due to your underestimated strength, you pass by Conny and Jean, as they hammer in planks of wood into the ground. "Look at you boys go!" You exclaim in an effort to cheer them on as they lose motivation from being exhausted. "I'm willing to trade." Conny sighs, giving his arms a quick break before continuing to swing the large mallet over his shoulder. "You're doing a better job than me." You shake your head, proceeding to carry rails for the latest upgrade to your island: a railroad.
After dropping the rails on the ground, you turn around, and pass by Mikasa as she carries her own load to the pile you made. Turning your head, you spot Sasha in the distance lifting up a bucket of water as Armin notices, quickly trying to stop her. The two run off, Armin chasing her down for the water but they eventually stop after tiring themselves out, and the bucket is empty. Quietly snickering to yourself over Armin's defeat in catching her, you hear the sound of horseshoes trotting, alerting you of your superiors' arrival. "Hey, look who's here." You call to the others, pointing out Commander Hange and Captain Levi.
"Hey!" Commander Hange shouts, approaching with Captain Levi by their side. "Man, you're all working hard in this heat!" They applaud, standing before Jean and Eren. Just the sight of their suit makes your skin clammy, you would hate to be wearing that many layers out here. "Yeah, well, we're stuck watching this idiot." Jean grumbles, referring to Eren. "Unbelievable. You're all growing so damn big." You hear Captain Levi remark as he glares at the back of Conny's head. Keeping your composure, you attempt to ignore his frustration over being a compact size, and focus on the Commander again.
"Is it about Hizuru?" Eren asks the Commander. "The Azumabitos sent their reply." They respond, keeping Eren on his toes. "And?" He quickly asks, losing his patience. "No good. Looks like we can't turn to Hizuru. It seems they want to monopolize Paradis Island's resources. They won't help us trade with others. The world wants Paradis Island to be the root of all evil. It helps to unite all nations and brings stability to the world." The Commander finishes, leaving you all disappointed but not surprised. "So, we've got no choice but to rely on the rumbling and sacrifice Historia?" Eren questions. "That's right." Captain Levi affirms stoically.
"You're kidding! They decided we're devils without knowing our intentions? Why won't they consider a path of peace?" Armin wonders. "I think... because they don't know. They fear us because they don't know what we are." Mikasa answers the blonde. "No matter what, people want to be right, even if that means rejecting the easy route." You mumble, catching their attention. "That's right. They won't trust people whose faces they haven't seen. So let's meet 'em! If you don't understand something, go figure it out! Isn't that what we Scouts do?" The Commander suggests excitedly, causing Captain Levi's eyes to widen.
Are they suggesting we go to Marley?
You don't understand why you still find yourself surprised by the Commander's outside-the-box ideas but at the end of the day, they may be onto something. Finishing up your duties at the progressing railroad, you eventually head back for the evening as the sun begins to make its way to rest. Stretching your sore arms over your head, several loud pops rush up your spine, leaving you relieved. Sighing contently, you relax in your seat while you converse with your friends.
"Make a base in Marley and infiltrate, huh?" Jean repeats the Commander's spontaneous idea, not too sure on it yet. "Commander Hange sure has a plan for everything. I'll be able to chow down on real Marleyan cuisine!" Sasha daydreams. You can practically hear her stomach growling at the thought. "Yeah? What should I bring? It would stink to get the runs." Conny ponders, facing the salmon, and peach-colored sky. "Stomach medicine, toothbrush, a taste of home..." Sasha begins to count her fingers. "Did you even hear Commander Hange's plan?" Mikasa questions, eyes glued on Sasha.
"If the world knows that we want peace, maybe something will change." Armin pipes in as he drives the train in the front. "If only we had more time. I've got just over five years left. We're gonna have to decide who inherits my Titan soon." Eren brings up with a serious expression. The space falls empty as everyone exchanges a glance. "I will." Mikasa suddenly volunteers, determined. "Not you. We still don't know what Ackermans are. And won't it hurt any plans with Hizuru if you become a Titan? No, for so many reasons." Jean intervenes, resting his left arm over the back of the train car.
"Then who will?" Mikasa furrows her brows at him. "Me. First of all, I'm way smarter than Eren. Instead of a suicidal maniac, you'll have a gifted leader who shows good judgement in all situations. In other words, me. I hate getting an Eren hand-me-down, but who better than me?" Jean goes on a whole spiel. "No offense but you love yourself too much to only have 13 years left, Jean. Wouldn't you want more? You are a fantastic leader and orderly when under pressure but I don't think it should be you." You speak up, earning a frown from the sandy-brunette. "Exactly." Conny agrees. "Someone that amazing we don't wanna lose in 13 years, moron." He backs up your point. "Huh?!" Jean raises his voice at him, not daring to give you that attitude.
"You should aim to be a regiment leader. I'll inherit Eren's Titan. It works out good, right?" Conny turns to meet Eren's gaze for approval. "Conny..." Is all the brunette can get out before Sasha interrupts. "That's not good at all. You're an idiot." She looks at Conny with concern. "Eh?" The boy turns back to face her. "Don't "eh" me. We can't leave such an important role up to an idiot." The brunette girl explains. "Eh?" Conny only repeats again, lost. You chuckle at their exchange, not noticing a burning sensation in your waist from the movement.
"Doggone it... I'll inherit it. I've got combat experience... I'm someone you can trust. By process of elimination, its gotta be me." Sasha sighs but accepts the duty. "You guys..." Eren mumbles, a growing sadness making its presence on him. "I dun wanna. I sure dun wanna though." Sasha's hands shake. "Wait, huh? Isn't that weird?" Conny interjects with wide eyes. "What?" Sasha turns her attention back to him. "Well, you know... you said an idiot's not fit for the role. You're more of an idiot than I am, so you're contradicting yourself." Conny's eyes are locked on her's as they both "huh" each other.
"You guys," You start to pipe in, sitting up in your seat but Eren stops you. "I don't want any of you to inherit it." He looks down at the floorboards. "Why not?" Jean asks. "Because you're important to me. More than anyone else. So, I want you to have long lives." Eren's gaze holds in place but he catches you again before your lips can even separate. "It can't be Y/n, either. We need people with her powers to live a long life and help others." He says. "She'd be too powerful by then." Jean dryly jokes, nudging your arm up with his elbow. You give him a side glance before crossing your arms back over your stomach. "No kidding, Kirstein." You simply sigh.
As everyone falls silent again, Jean can't help but notice a rosiness to Eren's cheeks. "Huh?! What are you turning red for?! The hell kinda mood is this?!" The sandy-brunette barks at him, pointing a finger at his face. "Sorry." Eren mumbles, not giving it too much thought. "Jean, its the sunset. Its making our faces red." Armin notes, turning to face the horizon again. "Oh. Nothing we can do about the sun." Jean quietly talks to himself.
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•.•
The next morning, you decide to give your room a quick cleaning while you have the time. You also don't feel like getting an earful from your Captain about leaving your quarters filthy, even though its pretty spotless already, considering the amount of time you spend away from the Walls, now. Folding your uniform, you place it back in your dresser, shutting the drawer afterward. As soon as it closes, the sound of a paper scratching against the wall as it falls catches your attention. Rounding the corner, you spot an envelope behind the dresser, leaning against the trim. Gripping the back of the wooden furniture, you pull the corner out a bit in order to reach for the envelope, and inspect it.
"Y/n (Lastname)"
Neatly written on the front of it, you should have seen it coming. A rogue letter from none other than your late brother. The odds of it falling out of your dresser, too, are questionable. Perhaps it was a sign sent by him as a reminder of his presence. After two years without him, your days still don't grow easier. You still struggle to come to accepting the terms but you have to pretend in order to feel a sense of sanity and progress. Sighing to yourself, you subconsciously find yourself dropping on the edge of your bed, fingertips brushing the envelope open to pull out the letter.
"Hey, Y/n!
I still can't believe my baby sister is a member of the Scouts! I can't be surprised, though because of how tough you are. Sometimes I feel bad I couldn't play with you how you probably should have been but I don't think you particularly care. You were always only interested in whatever Quincy and I were doing. I guess we're to blame for your personality and drive to join the Military, huh? At least I don't have to worry too much about you, though.
I also heard there's some cute boys in the Scouts (Quincy told me that you mentioned it in a letter to him). So, you better find yourself a man, and make Quince and I proud. Just make sure he isn't an asshole or else I might have to kill him. I won't ever let anyone hurt you, (nickname), I promise."
Love 'ya, little sis!
~T"
The letter makes you grin as you can hear his own voice reading it to you instead. "Such an asshole." You mumble, never surprised by Quincy's tactics to embarrass you. Sealing the sacred letter back in its envelope, you recall the first time you read it after seeing Tristan that one time after a meeting with the Premier. Holding the aging envelope to your chest, you lean back until your head hits the stiff mattress, rolling it until you can see the window from the corner of your eye. For some reason, you can almost see his face in the clouds but the vision is gone after blinking. Taking a deep breath, you slowly release it as you attempt to clear your head.
I'm still trying to forgive myself, Tristan. Please be patient with me.
Suddenly, before you can comprehend it, you rise off the bed to dig through your drawers, fishing out a paper and charcoal pencil. As soon as the lead hovers over the paper, you pause, questioning what you're going to write, and to whom. As if your heart answers for you, your hand reacts, and begins to scribble out the name "Katsumi." Its been so long since you've seen or heard from her, you wonder if she still considers you her best friend at this point. There's no denying the fact that she's pissed at you for lying about such a secret but all you can do is accept her anger, for you were the one who caused it.
Without too much thought, your heart pours out through your left/right hand, getting all you want her to know out and onto the letter. Hopefully, she will read it. Responding to it is a bit of a stretch, now but you can only hope she will do so. Finally nearing the end, you sign your name, and stare at its entirety, taking everything in. It only takes you twenty seconds before changing your mind about the whole thing. "No... I can't be an asshole and only send a letter." You mutter to yourself, pulling out an envelope to seal the letter in, writing her name on the front.
Taking the envelope with you, you leave your room to wander the halls, in search of your Captain. Your senses take over and they lead you towards the dining hall, ultimately finding him at a table with a cup of tea. Standing still in the doorframe for a moment, you swallow a lump in your throat as you begin approaching the man. "Captain," You announce, nearing his side from behind. "May I deliver this letter in person?" You ask once you are in front of him. The raven man sets down his cup of tea, eyes flicking up towards your own as he takes in your request. "To who and where?" He only asks. "My best friend, Katsumi, back in Krolva, sir." You answer, shifting in place.
Inaudibly sighing, your Captain caves. "I'm only saying yes because your dumb ass would sneak out tonight to do it, anyway." He responds, his eyes narrow on yours. Awkwardly laughing, you rub the back of your neck. "I mean... thanks, I guess?" You don't know what else to say to that. "Better get a move on so you can be back tonight. You still need to be careful, though." Captain Levi warns, picking up his teacup again. "Of course, sir. Thank you." You nod with a gentle grin before exiting the dining hall. A bit surprised he even said yes, you take the small victory, and prepare for the long ride to your old home, again.
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•.•
That afternoon, you once again find yourself at the gate to your home, moments away from passing through. Staring up at the large brick passage, your eyes never leave as your horse, (horse's name), walks through. The familiarity engulfs you the second you cross the wall dividing it from the rest of Rose, bringing back old memories. Another year has passed since you've returned but you tend to block out those bad memories, only thinking about the argument with your father. Still, you haven't heard from him since that day. Quincy has sent a letter or two during those months but you have yet to open and read them, too focused on helping your squad at the moment. You don't know what he said or how you'll respond, so, you're choosing not to, for the time being.
Instead, you would much rather visit the one person who understands you inside and out. Almost three whole years since you've seen her and everyday it kills you inside. Slowly walking along the path, you try to avoid citizens, pulling the hood up on your (color) cloak, blending in with the others. You are still afraid of how people will react to you now that they all know, especially those from your hometown. You did nothing but betray them and you understand their discomfort. If only they, and those beyond the Walls, could see the good in you.
Glazing around, the river, the markets, and the laughter of kids playing all make you miss home but after this day, you vow to move on. This place brings you nothing but guilt now, plaguing your innocent childhood. A taste of the old days when you were oblivious and had no fears sounds like a dream, wishing you could have one more chance to relive those times. Where nothing bad could ever happen.
In no time, you turn onto the street where Katsumi lives, your subconscious leading you there without too much thought. Slowing down your horse, you stop near her house, looking up at the structure. A two-story cottage-like home with many flower pots and plants decorating the windows and front porch, all from Miyuki since she makes floral arrangements. A gentle smile graces your lips, noticing that the flowers have recently been watered, meaning they're still present in this home.
Swinging your leg over (horse's name), you walk her/him to a post where you can leave her/him in the meantime. Now, digging through your satchel, you pull out a carrot wrapped in a cloth to feed to the mare/stallion for all the work she/he has done. "I'll be back soon. Be good, okay?" You whisper to the (color/s) horse, petting her/his nose. (Horse's name) chews on the carrot and swishes her/his tail in response, her/his (color) eyes watching as you head towards Katsumi's cedar-brown door.
All of a sudden, your nerves spike as you stand a foot in front of her door, waiting to make up your mind to simply knock. Taking a few breaths to relax, you eventually raise your left/right fist to tap your knuckles against the wooden door, each knock sounding louder than the last. All you can hear is your increasing heartbeat in your ears, completely lost in fear as you await for an answer.
Lost in your anxious thoughts, you almost fail to notice the handle turning, opening up to reveal a shadow in front of you. Eyes instantly raising up, you meet the familiar golden irises belonging to the girl you've longed to be in the presence of. Coming to the realization, you awkwardly fumble through your (color) satchel to fish out the envelope for her, holding it out for her to take. Without saying a word, the slightly taller ravenette drops her gaze to study the material in your grasp. Slowly lifting an arm, her own fingers grip the paper as you release it from your hold.
Before you can even process, a sudden force nearly knocks you backwards. Stunned, to say the least, you realize the girl has thrown herself at you, arms tightly wrapped around your form as she embraces you. Your own arms eventually snake around her as well, resting below her arms as they squeeze your shoulders. Heads leaning against each other, you can sense her feelings. Most of them were anger but that all slowly fades the longer you hold each other, being replaced by relief that you've returned after so long. "You're such an idiot for leaving me hanging..." Her voice fills your head without having to speak.
"Sorry, I am an idiot." You lightly chuckle, making the girl in front of you relax a bit. "So you can eavesdrop on my thoughts." She mumbles, pulling away slightly to reveal her teary eyes. Gently nodding, you watch as she holds the letter in her left hand to wipe her eyes with her right. "You're gonna make me cry, too, dammit!" You laugh, hating to see her so emotional. "I'm not the idiot who left for three years and hasn't seen her best friend." Katsumi jokes, making you laugh a bit more. "I'm sorry, Kat. I don't even have an excuse besides my schedule and fear for upsetting you after everything." You sigh defeatedly.
"Are you still mad at me?" You then ask, wanting to remove all the tension right off the bat. Pursing her lips, Katsumi gently shakes her head "no." "I was at first but... I've had time to blow off steam and get over it. You're still my best friend and I understand why you couldn't tell me." Her voice is gentle and sincere, making you feel relieved. "I'm glad you're not angry because I would be. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you, Kat. I've always wanted to but my dad would never let me." You sigh, hearing his stern voice fill your head. "That sounds like a Mr. (Last name) thing." Katsumi giggles, knowing him almost as well as you.
Inviting you inside, you glance around the house that you considered to be your second home for so many years. You found yourself here everyday back when you were a kid, even up until you left for the Scouts. Before you can relive too many memories, a new presence catches your attention. "Oh my- is that Y/n?" A voice gasps, nearing closer. Turning to the left, your eyes land on a tall woman descending the staircase, approaching you.
A large smile finds its way on your face as the older woman grabs you in a hug just as tight as Katsumi's. "I was beginning to wonder if we'd ever see you again!" Mrs. Akimoto exclaims, drawing back after a moment to take in your matured appearance. "Wow..." She exhales, feeling proud of you. "I've always wanted to visit but didn't have the time, my apologies." You grin up at the woman, making her chuckle. "Apology accepted." She pinches your cheek, her smile falling a bit. "I'm really sorry, deary." She then whispers, dropping her hand to your shoulder. "Its okay. I'm okay, I guess." You quietly reply before she nods. "You've always been a strong and brave girl. Please, make yourself at home." Mrs. Akimoto whispers again, retreating to the kitchen after.
Facing Katsumi again, she playfully rolls her eyes at the situation. "We've all missed you, by the way." She explains. "I've missed you all, too." You nod, your thoughts going elsewhere. "Is... Miyuki around?" You almost feel hesitant to ask but Katsumi answers, anyway. "Yeah... she should be home from the shop any minute." As soon as she finishes, the door opens, signaling her arrival home. The both of you shift your views, all eyes on the older sister. When the ravenette shuts the door, she freezes on the spot, recognizing the company in her home. "H... Hi." The older female cautiously greets, suddenly feeling a bit uncomfortable.
You hadn't seen Miyuki in as long as you've seen Katsumi and she has changed quite significantly. Her once long hair that reached her ribcage now falls a smidge below her chin, cut in a short bob style. You had never seen her with such short hair for as long as you've known her, you probably wouldn't have recognized her on the street. Her presence seems much gloomier than it used to be but you can expect that, considering the incredible loss she dealt with. However, everything else about her is the same: still shy and very girly, dressed in a pale yellow dress with an off-white blouse underneath.
Almost from just seeing your face, the older female feels a wave of emotion cross her figure, tears brimming her caramel-brown eyes. Instantly, you approach her enough to pull her into your arms for comfort. She forgot how alike you and your brother are, it shocks her for a moment after not seeing either of you in years. Yet, she did not anticipate to see you anytime soon due to the world's current circumstances. "I'm sorry, Yuki." You mumble, rubbing her upper back as she tries her best to keep her composure. "N-No, I'm sorry..." Miyuki corrects, gently shaking her head. "I miss him so much..." She then whispers, sniffling.
Holding her close, you feel as if she is all you have left of Tristan, and you the same to her. As his sister, you are the closest thing to her past lover. No matter where life leads you, you know for sure that you'll have each other in your lives. You've been family for years, nothing will change that.
Eventually drawing back, you stare into Miyuki's reddened eyes, watery with tears as she holds them in to the best of her ability. You have no idea how many nights she's looked this way but you can only imagine its been more than you can count. Rubbing her arm, your own tears threaten to spill at her pitiful state, not even knowing what to say. How could you make this better? It seems impossible. Inconsolable.
"His passing was... caused by my foolishness and I'm deeply sorry he had to be involved. I will get to the bottom of this situation, his death won't be in vain." You promise your supposed-to-be sister-in-law. Grinning ever so slightly, the ravenette nods, carefully dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief Katsumi hands her. "T-Thank you..." She whispers, fully believing you'll get justice for Tristan. "He was such a good man and I loved him s-so much." Her soft voice strains through her sore, tender throat. "With a heart of pure gold." You smile, recalling how devoted he was to anyone, and anything.
Something seems to catch Miyuki's attention as she quickly turns towards a cabinet, opening a drawer to pull something out before returning to you. "I thought I'd give this to you anyway..." You look down at her extended left hand, receiving the envelope. Gently peeling it open, a gasp leaves your system upon reading the first few lines. It was the invitation to their wedding, set to have taken place around a year ago. You have thought about this day, whether or not you would receive an invitation or if they even got them organized. Now, here you are, reading the letter that only holds a broken promise: a wedding that never took place.
Unable to finish reading, you stuff the paper back in its envelope, not wanting to further your guilt anymore. "Thank you... for this." You look down at the letter once more before dragging your eyes away from it, only being reminded of your hurt. As the woman nods, she then meets eyes with her younger sister, immediately pursing her lips. For once, you don't really know what to expect, a bit afraid to know, to say the least. Cautiously, Miyuki guides you to the sofa to sit, taking her own seat next to you. Following, Katsumi sits on your other side, anticipating the conversation.
"There's... more I need to tell you, actually." Miyuki's voice falls quieter, her tone very serious but almost scared. Now, you feel even more anxious, based on their demeanors. You can only guess what news they have to bring. With one last reassuring glance to her younger sister, Miyuki eventually releases a sigh, grabbing your left/right hand to give it a squeeze. Feeling a cool sensation, you glance down, and notice a ring, realizing it was the one your brother had proposed to her with.
She never took it off?
"W-We..." The girl begins but the words catch in her throat, causing her to stumble and lose track. "Take your time." You whisper patiently. "Dammit..." Miyuki mutters, shaking her head to reset her thoughts, not being the one to normally cuss, even when she's upset. "I... had um... a m-miscarriage. Awhile back..." Her eyes have now averted from your own, in fear of being reprimanded or worse. All words have left your mind, completely speechless at the news. How are you supposed to respond to a bombshell like that? Not only has she dealt with losing her fiancé but also this? What other burdens have been resting on your shoulders all this time?
When the words find their way back to you, the only question you can think of comes to mind. "Did... he know?" You whisper, still slowly processing through shock. "N-No." Miyuki shakes her head, facing her lap as a few tears fall from her eyes, landing on her hand. Squeezing her other hand firmly, a few of your own tears slip past your (color) eyes, blinking them away. "It happened a w-week after it-" Miyuki halts her sentence as a sob breaks out of her thin form. Your body immediately lunges forward, holding onto her tight as the both of you go over this heartbreak together.
"I d-didn't even know..." The eldest of the group whispers into your shoulder. With your head against hers, just like Katsumi, you begin to hear Miyuki's thoughts. "I could have had a piece of him but I was too hurt to care for myself... the both of us." You never imagined the little girl from your visions to come to life. You only thought she was of existence had his death never taken place. Knowing this, it only causes you more anger for yourself. You robbed not only one or two people but three, one of which never got to get a taste of life.
"Esme..." You suddenly whisper, catching both sisters off guard. "W-What?" Miyuki mumbles, wiping her eyes with the heel of her palm after sitting back from your embrace. Staring into her eyes once more with your sad ones, you explain. "Your daughter. I've seen her a few times in my visions and dreams..." You whisper again, voice trailing off as a memory sweeps past you. "Thank you." You hear the little girl's voice brush past your ear, just like in your dream. Suddenly, her round face comes into view with a bright smile. The more you focus on her, you realize a hand is grasping her own, recognizing it as...
Tristan...
Leaning over your knees as you rub your face, Miyuki quietly watches you as you process whatever is on your mind. "It finally makes sense, now." You mumble to yourself, figuring out why Esme thanked you. She never had the chance to meet her parents until she joined her father in the afterlife to take care of her. Looking back on it now, the simple statement hits you like a ton of bricks, hands roughly running through your hair (disregard if you don't show or have hair) in frustration over yourself.
"What is it, Y/n?" Katsumi's concerned voice pulls you back to reality, away from your tormenting thoughts. Lifting your head up, you disregard what has happened, deciding its best to keep it to yourself. "Processing everything." You answer dryly, eyes fixated on the wooden floor. "I'm so sorry... I wish I could have done something differently." You apologize for what feels like the hundredth time as you rub your stinging eyes. Quietly nodding, Miyuki can't make her words work after learning the name of the child she didn't know existed until it was too late.
"She's... okay. They're together." You let them both know, a minuscule smile tugging at your lips when you realize they're not alone, after all. Looking up, a few more tears spill down Miyuki's face when you say that. "T-That makes me happy..." She trembles in relief. Katsumi grins as she reaches across you to pat her sister's knee, sniffling through her own tears. "That gives me hope for the future." She whispers, not feeling as afraid of death, now. "Its a beautiful place, from what I've seen... T-They're okay, I promise." Your voice trails off again.
After everyone's tears dry or come relatively close to it, you find your time is getting limited. Walking you to the front door, Katsumi immediately engulfs you once more. "This whole time, I was wondering if you'd keep your promise." She mumbles into your shoulder. "Of course I would. I could never not see you again." You respond, arms tight around her. "Don't wait this long again, okay?" Katsumi asks, voice a bit muffled. "I don't know when I'll see you again... but I promise that I will return. We'll leave the Walls one day for good." You answer affirmatively, never wanting to let go, and say "bye" again.
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Words: 6,682
03/10/22
I'm so excited, I'm officially on spring break now that I finished my finals and midterms a day early ayoooo 😩😩
Hopefully, I can get at least 2 new chapters up during the next 10 days! I love updating and writing so I'll see you all in the next chapter :)
~AlpineBreadStick