She wants to forget what happened last week. Marinette wasn't entirely sure she could function for the first few days but she didn't have to wonder. Her parents didn't let her get a fork by herself. She was accompanied everywhere. And yes, she was flattered about how much they cared but she wanted to be alone.
Marinette supposes that it would take her mind off of everything for a while.
Then she goes back to school and everything she's repressed into the back of her mind comes back full force and she's this close to becoming the same mess that she was in the hospital. She avoids everyone for the day. Her teachers don't bother to call on her which makes it easier for her.
It's the end of the day. She thinks she's doing well enough but she's wrong. Because Adrien's looking at her. And it's the look. It's Chat Noir's look. And she realizes that she can't love him anymore. She can never have him.
"Marinette?" he asks softly, eyebrows titling in concern.
She runs.
Sprinting down the halls, her chest heaving with every step. Marinette's sure she'll die before she makes it. Her heart hurts, her legs hurt, her head hurts. She just wants everything to go away.
"Marinette?" Adrien calls after her but she doesn't want to see him. She doesn't want to face him; she isn't strong enough for that.
Marinette turns the corner, pushing open the front doors which are two tons heavier than normal. Her right foot trips on the ledge and she falls, crashing down onto the hard pavement.
"Ow, ow, ow, fuck!" her voice breaks as she pulls her bleeding knees to her chest. It's raining, the sky is gloomy, she's crying and nothing - nothing- is going right.
The door behind her opens. "Hey."
"Hi." Came her defeated response.
Adrien crouches beside her with an appropriate space between the two of them and looks out at the dark scene, his umbrella sits beside them and it reminds her of when she first fell in love with him. The same place but infinitely different. It was weird how different the 13 year old and 17 year old version of herself were.
"Marinette, I don't know why you're avoiding me but-"
"I'm sorry," she says but it comes out more like a sob. Adrien's brows furrow in concern and he reaches his hand out but retracts it just as quickly.
"Why are you apologizing, Mari?" he whispers, "You don't have to. I was just... Well, you looked upset. Do you want to... talk about it?"
Marinette turns her head to the side and her eyes meet with Adrien's. After a moment of silence she sighs. "Have you ever met someone that's like, literally the best person ever?"
His head tilts to the side, "Yeah. I know someone exactly like that."
Marinette wonders who he's thinking of for a moment but moves on just as quickly. "Well, this guy - he's so fucking awesome. And he's so nice and caring and just..." she lets out a breath, "He's in love with me and that's cool and I'm flattered! But I don't like him back. Or at least I think I don't like him back. It's weird, you know?"
Marinette leans back and her eyes focus on the rain pattering against the floor. "I'm used to seeing him as a funny friend I got and not someone I like like but then something changed and I don't even know what it was but suddenly he's this funny, caring, nice, hot loveable guy and then guess what? He knows this other guy that I've been in love with since I don't know, forever!"
Adrien nods along thoughtfully, his eyes completely trained on Marinette.
"So he's like I'm doing a favor for him and then he's like 'he's in love with you' and then I'm just like, screaming because I've loved this guy since I met him and-" she exhales and buries her head in her knees. "Everything's so weird. He told me that he'd help me by having practice dates and then we go on a date and he's, out of nowhere, so good at flirting. And we talk and it's nice but I'm just like - this feels so good? But I can't fall in love with him because then the world will end. Literally."
Adrien frowns at that and Marinette turns around, puts her hands on his shoulder and scoots closer. "I fell in love with him."
Adrien's blushing every shade of red possible, his eyes widening and his heartbeat elevating into a rapid beat.
"I'm so stupid Adrien, you have no fucking idea." She bites her lip. "And I'm still... not over that other guy. Because he's amazing and lovely but I can't be with him either. The world is also going to end."
Adrien opens his mouth and then closes it, and then he opens it again. "Do you... want to elaborate on the world ending part?"
Marinette looks away. "I- Adrien, are you good at keeping secrets?"
"Pretty good, yeah."
There's a weird feeling in her stomach. It borders on excitement and a nervous breakdown and she isn't sure if she likes it or not. She hasn't told anyone since she was 15. It's been two years since she experienced this.
She takes her hands off his shoulders and slumps down, tentatively resting her head on his shoulder. He doesn't seem to mind it.
"I think I'm a really bad person." She starts but Adrien doesn't let her finish.
"You're not. " he denies, "You're an incredible person and you're awesome to be around, Marinette. You're nice and kind and generous. Don't lie and say that you're not."
Marinette laughs but she's sure that she's tearing up a little. "My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng, a stressed out aspiring fashion designer who lives in a bakery." she takes a deep breath, "And it's also Ladybug, the protector of Paris."
Adrien turns his head ever so slowly, she looks up and their eyes meet. A dazzling blue to a brilliant green. His lips are parted slightly and she breathes in shortly. There's energy between them and it's not bad. It's a good one. A little secret the two of them have.
"I am hopelessly and desperately in love with a boy that is the coolest person in the entire universe right beside the world's most amazing partner. " Marinette smiles at him. "And I'm talking to him right now."
"Marinette-"
"And everything I've just said makes me a terrible person because my partner has never gotten to tell this to anyone." her eyes are tearing up. "I can't tell him that I love him because then everything we have ever known will disappear."
"What-?" Adrien's eyes are furrowed and concerned as she speaks.
"Adrien, for months everytime I closed my eyes he was always there. Yelling for me to help him again."
"Marinette," he says firmly and she looks at him. " Who are you talking about?"
There's a dull sound in her voice, like all the light in it was taken away. "Chat Blanc."
There's a silence between them before Marinette finds the courage in herself to continue.
"I know you don't know her but Bunnyx took me to the future right after I left a love letter to you and she said that something catastrophic happened that day that destroyed the future. And so she brought me through a time portal and... oh, it was horrible. Everything was under the sea, and Chat Noir, well, Chat Blanc... he was all alone - waiting for me to come back for him. He tried to take my miraculous to make everything 'right' again. But," she lays her head against his arm, "Then he told me that our love did that to the world and just... everything after that day was different. I couldn't sleep an entire night for months. Everytime I looked at him in that way for too long I'd just remember what would happen if I ever fell and now I have and I don't want to ruin it."
Adrien holds her close and she doesn't fight it. He rubs small circles into her arm in a weak attempt to soother her until he finds something he can say. But there's so much going on in his head he can't comprehend it all. Marinette - his love - was hurting because of him getting akumatized. He felt anger. He doesn't know who it's directed at. At himself? At Hawkmoth?
Adrien's silent for a moment before he asks a faint question. "Can I tell you a secret?"
Marinette doesn't say anything but she nods into his arm.
"When I was thirteen, I ran away to school and for the first time in my life, I disobeyed my father." Adrien lays his chin on the base of his palm as he tells the story. "There was this little old man that fell so I helped him up and this guy was about to be pretty important to everything that happened in the next four years of my life."
The rain hits the pavement stronger and the wind whistles through the two friends' hair and they huddled closer together for warmth.
"He gave me this really cool ring and with it this really annoying cat." Marinette's shoulder's tensed and her eyes widened slightly as he spoke softly, his voice almost being swept away by the wind.
"This ring was actually magical." he laughs at Marinette slowly raising her head to him. "And in one day, I got all the freedom I had ever dreamed of and," Adrien leans in, "The most amazing partner in the entire universe."
Adrien puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a rose. A red one. One he had given her a hundred different times before. But it could've been the first time because her heart was soaring and her ears are bright pink and she's sure her lightheadedness has a connection to the boy in front of her. Red roses mean pure love, true and infinite love.
A small eep escapes from her mouth and Adrien chuckles. And then she does. She's pretty sure she's crying too.
"You-"
"My Lady," he gets up and extends a hand towards her, "Buginette, Princess and every other excessively cringy nickname I have made for you: I meant every word I have ever said to you."
Marinette grins bashfully, wiping her eyes. "You stupid cat."
He blinks away tears and laughs, "You have no idea how you make me feel."
"What are you talking about?" she asks, a manic smile on her face. "You flirt with me every day."
"Okay then," he steps closer to her, his umbrella forgotten on the ground, "Let me tell you this, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I love you."
"What?"
"I love you," Adrien tells her with a smile on his face and a piercing stare into hers, "I love you more than every star in the galaxy and every universe there exists. I know that in every single one, I fall in love with you. Hopelessly and desperately in love with a girl that shines brighter than the sun."
"Enough to make me go on practice dates with your alter ego so that I can ask you out?" she laughs.
"In my defense it was a pretty good plan."
"Well." she wraps her arms around his shoulders and steps closer so that she's an inch away from his feet, "I guess two wrongs make a right?"
There's something between the two of them and Marinette's heart is about to explode. There's a ball of pure happiness in her chest making her want to vibrate with joy and hug him tight against her chest but the calmness and the night sky makes her want to slow down and stare into his eyes. Get lost in them for all of eternity if she could.
Adrien's eyes wander all over her face, taking in all her features. He had been this close to her before of course. But this time, it was different.
"Can I kiss you?" His voice is soft and quiet so it sounds like a little secret he's telling her. Something for just the two of them.
Instead of saying yes or even nodding she jumps and wraps her legs around his waist and they both fall into the ground.
"Oh my god Chat, are you okay?"
He kisses her.
There isn't hesitation or even a breath between them before he cups his hands around her face and sits up. Marinette isn't slow to reciprocate, both of their chests swelling in ecstasy. Their cheeks flush red and their first few seconds are incredibly awkward as they had never kissed someone for more than five seconds before but they get the hang of it fairly quickly. They break apart for air and their foreheads pressed together as they laugh, a breathless exhilarating laugh. They look at each other with all the love in the entire world, chests heaving and they grin manically.
It's the best Marinette has ever felt.
And if they're both lucky - this moment would never end.