this is just some insight into beys life and past since it's almost always onika povs and y'all don't know a lot about her
bey
I was dreading going to my moms house for dinner after our phone call. The only thing she said was "we'll talk later," but I know what that means.
I hate Richard. A grown man gossiping with his wife about her grown ass daughter. I'm grown, I can kiss whoever I want to in my own damn office.
Usually Robyn would come with me to these dinners but I'm "dead to her," so I'm on my own.
It's only been a couple hours but I miss her. She's like one of three people I know here and she's the only one I talk to all day every day.
Our argument was so dumb but I actually don't think she'll get over it. It was something she should've known if she did her job correctly and used common sense.
Before I went to my moms house, I had to go the gym and get all my anger out. I have to before every dinner or I would completely lose it in there.
After the gym I took a long shower and got dressed in the most boring outfit I could find. I didn't need something else for her to criticize.
I drove as slowly as possible to get there as late as possible. I pulled up to the house and rolled my eyes, nobody needs a house this big.
The only reason she even got this house was to upset my dad by spending all the money she got from the divorce on a house for her and someone else.
My dad and I's relationship wasn't perfect either but I would pick him over her in a heartbeat. He's the only one I really kept in contact with after I left.
I got there and knocked on the door quietly. I was hoping she would be on the other side of the house so someone else could open the door for me.
Thank God Solange opened the door. She just nodded at me and I nodded back, we don't really talk like that.
She walked inside the house and I followed her. I was just going to go wherever she went so I could avoid talking to my mom for as long as I could.
"You following me?" She stopped walking and eyed me skeptically.
"Yeah. Avoiding your mom."
That's all I needed to say, she understood. She took a detour to grab a bottle of some expensive alcohol from a rack and walked up the stairs.
She walked into a room, it looked like it was hers. She has a room here even though she lives here and I don't even have a place to put my jacket.
"Why are you hiding now?" She held the bottle out for me and I took it. She plopped down on the bed and I sat down next to her.
"Richard caught me kissing someone in my office and he told her. Now she wants to talk." I took a swig of what was in the bottle and scrunched my face up, I don't like strong alcohol.
"I thought we all already met your girlfriend? What's the problem?"
"She wasn't my girlfriend, we work together." I passed the bottle back to her and she drank without making a face.
"You're cheating again? I thought that was a college thing." We started passing the bottle back and forth while talking.
"What? Her and I haven't done anything like that ever. The woman he caught me with is someone I'm dating."
"She has a fat ass?" I forgot she was like this, her and Robyn might actually be perfect for each other. I would never let Robyn touch her.
"She's very nice." That wasn't even true, she's so mean.
"Yeah but is her ass fat?"
"Yeah." I sighed, I had to give in and say what she wanted.
"Then tell mama to mind her old ass business."
"What would you have done if I had said she has no ass?" Why did she make me answer that before she gave me advice.
There was a knock at the door and we both froze. Solange scrambled to close the bottle back. "Hold on!"
She bent over and put the bottle under the bed. I felt like a high schooler, I kind of liked it.
"You can come in now!" We tried to look as natural and sober as possible.
My mom walked in and looked between the two of us. I couldn't tell if it was because we were drinking or because she hasn't seen the two of us alone together in a long time.
"Y'all been drinking?" She crossed her arms over her chest and shifted her weight to one leg.
"Mama you know Bey doesn't even do that type of stuff, it's too many calories in alcohol." She nudged me in the ribs and I nodded.
"Right, I just got back from the gym too. I would never."
"You're cheating on your girlfriend at your workplace Giselle?" She didn't waste anytime getting to it.
"Robyn is not my girlfriend. The woman I was kissing is someone I'm seeing. There's no more to the story."
"Richard told me she's a single mother, is that true?"
"Damn, you didn't tell me you were a step dad now. You take her kids to the park and shit?"
"I coach her son and she has a young daughter." I hate this.
"You don't have kids if your own and your taking care of someone else's? You don't even like germs, what are you going to do if they sneeze too close to you?"
"I would just like to remind you Solange had a baby in like high school and someone who isn't the father is now taking care of him. Where is he right now?"
Solange got pregnant while I was already away at college. My mom wouldn't let her get an abortion because it goes against her morals. I don't know how Solange can still tolerate her.
"Bey leave my son out of this. We're in good place right now."
"I apologize. Mama I'm not talking about this anymore, it's my business."
"I want to meet her."
"And why do you feel entitled to meet anyone important in my life? You won't ever meet her."
"Why can't I? I'm your mother."
"Barely." I mumbled, I didn't want my ass beat.
"Excuse me?"
"Is the food ready? I'm starving." Solange dramatically rubbed her stomach so she could elbow me. She knew I was about to say something that would get me kicked out.
"Yeah that's what I came up here to tell you."
Tina went back downstairs and Solange and I drank a little bit more. We went downstairs and sat at the table, I didn't say a word to Richard.
Tina refused to make food to fit my diet so the only thing I could eat was salad. I couldn't even eat the potatoes.
I had my salad fork on me since I knew it was the only thing I would be able to eat. I pulled it out and Tina started acting like I just pulled a dildo out of thin air.
"Can you please just eat with a regular fork like a normal person? Jesus Christ." She sighed and shook her head like I was such a disappointment for bringing my own fork.
I ignored her, I wasn't using anyone's forks but mine. She always does this, she has since I was a kid. She would always tell me to be normal or do things like a regular person.
I don't have OCD, the only thing I do have ADHD and I don't think that has anything to do with the fork thing.
It's not that I don't like germs- I don't but that's not why I do a lot of things I do. I like to be in control of everything that goes in my body or near it.
I guess that's why I eat so healthy, I also used to have a very bad eating disorder but that's not important right now. With things like salad or pasta, you can see all the ingredients and actually control what I eat.
I'm not sure why I'm like this, but I am and I don't think it's really even that big of a deal. It could be caused by my fear of death or being sick.
Maybe I do have OCD and I don't know, it's a very real possibility. I don't like germs because I don't want to be sick, I want to be in perfect health all the time.
As a kid, I obviously couldn't have the collection of forks I have now but I had one fork knife and spoon that was specifically for me. My mom didn't like that and she made me stop. So I stopped eating as a whole.
Tina has done so much fucked up stuff to me since I was a kid. The worst part is that she thinks she did a lot of the stuff was to protect or help me.
Richard cleared his throat, "So Bey, you and Onika?"
"I don't mind eating in silence." I was tired of talking about Onika right now, they both need to mind their business.
"What about that other little friend of yours? What was her name? Something like diamond or keloid, it's right on the tip of my tongue."
"She wasn't my little friend mama, we were together for like five years."
I was in a very serious relationship that ended right before I came to California. Like living together serious.
We broke up because long distance relationships don't work but I know that wasn't the real reason. I think we were both getting tired of each other. No matter how much you love someone you don't want to be around them
all day every day for years.
We haven't spoke since our breakup but we're on good terms. The only problem is we had shared custody of a dog but she wouldn't let me bring her with me.
"I never met her so y'all couldn't have been that serious."
"I think you're confused about your role in my life Tina."
"I'm your mother, you need to respect me as such. All you've done since you've gotten here is complain and bring up old stuff, you're just like your father."
"I would much rather be like him than be like you, you're manipulative and controlling. Are we really about to argue because I don't want you to meet the woman I'm seeing? I'm a grown ass woman, I do what I want. You don't need to meet her because you already have these preconceived judgements about her and you haven't even met her, you never will either. You're not entitled to any more of me than you're getting from me now, all I have to do is show up like I'm doing."
I leaned to stand up to her, if I didn't she would've continued to bully me the way she has for so much of my life. I'm not afraid of anyone but Mel and Kelly.
"Can you blame me? From what I know about her, she's not a good fit for you at all. She already has kids, her kids are old enough that you're teaching them. I bet you don't even know if she actually wants kids, you need someone you can start a family with instead of playing step daddy with someone else's."
"Mama you don't know her."
"You won't let me so all I can judge her off of is what I know. That Robyn girl was nice, maybe you should play with her in your office next."
"Did everyone try the chicken? I thought the chicken was lovely." Solange had her face in her plate. We weren't even eating chicken, they were eating pork chops.
"I'm leaving. You can ruin my day next week again."
I dramatically left, I was smiling a little. I always wanted to do that.
Today has not been my day. From my argument with Robyn to Onika coming to my office and is getting caught kissing to this dinner.
Usually I'm very optimistic but it feels like the universe is working against me. So much has happened in one day.
I'm manifesting tomorrow will be better.
After I got in my car, before I even pulled up I went on google and looked up 'sip and paints near me.'
I don't know why but that fact that my mom doesn't approve of Onika makes me like her more. Of course, I really really like her but I would've liked her a little bit less if my mom liked her.
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i kinda hate this chapter and i wrote it when i was half asleep so ignore anything that doesn't make sense
Bey?
Tina?
Bey and Solange?
Beys past?
Tina already judging Onika?
Bey liking Onika more now that Tina doesn't approve?
vote & comment