"Have you talked to her?" Max was worried about Sara. She knows she's hurting and is just trying to hide it and be strong, but she doesn't have to be. Not around her best friend. She prefers that she just let it all out and talk about it, than being so contained. She also knew how much Nyssa was hurting and had heard about the incident she punched the wall. Her heart ached for both of them.
"No." Sara answered in a clipped tone.
"Have you at least read the last letter?"
"I don't see a reason to." If Sara were to be honest, she's scared to read it because she knows that her words, no matter how deceitful she may think they are, can still make her heart melt, and she is too angry and hurt to let her do that to her again. Yank her around with words and promises of love.
"Why don't you just let her explain?" Max tried to reason with her.
"There is nothing to explain. She lied to me. She played with me. She hurt me. She..." Broke my heart, Sara thought. At least she hadn't given her the satisfaction of professing her own freaking love. Damn. She feels so stupid. She should have listened to her first instinct to stay away from her. She knew from the beginning that she was trouble, but somehow, something had pulled her to her.
Then from across the field, she saw some girl walk up to Nyssa while she was preparing her bow. The girl kept tucking her hair behind her ear; she would look down, bite down at her lip, and smile while talking to Nyssa. God! She was flirting with her! How dare she flirt with her? Sara's jaw was clenched so tight. She shouldn't even be caring about that but it was seriously getting on her nerves. Not just a while ago, Nyssa was confessing her love to her. Yeah, it turned out to be some grand scheme in Sara's mind, but still. Now, she's already flirting with some...bimbo. Okay, she doesn't look like one, but Sara was trying to make a point to herself that Nyssa was just playing with her.
Nyssa could sense the intense and deadly glare Sara was sending her way. The girl who's talking to her had tried to approach her before but she just dismissed her. She knew the girl was flirting with her. Now she thought of entertaining her in hopes of getting Sara jealous or any response from her at all. Though it was like she was shooting daggers at her, at least she was getting something; at least it wasn't totally over. She just has to win her back, and think of a way to do that.
She took a chance and looked directly at Sara. She held her gaze for a moment until it was Sara who looked away. She went back to her training after the girl left.
Sara once again watched her. Seeing her pull on that bow, all she could think of was the time Nyssa tried teaching her how to use one. It was at her house. It was just the two of them there. At first, Nyssa gave her instructions and just let her try it out. She only hit the target once and was nowhere near the center. Nyssa enjoyed watching her try.
"I'm not getting this right."
"I can see that."
Sara raised her eyebrows at that and made Nyssa smile. She finds Sara adorable when she gets mad. Well, it doesn't matter how she feels, she would always look so lovely to her.
"Why don't you get off your butt and show me how?"
"I did show you how. You're rushing it and you're not concentrating well."
"Then just help me out. I'm not leaving until I get at least one good shot."
"That's fine by me. I love having you here and I'm enjoying watching you."
"So you're not going to help me?"
Nyssa stood and went to her side.
"As much as I adore your cute angry expressions, I don't like you getting mad at me and end up not talking to me."
She wrapped her by the waist from behind and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. She gave her more instructions and fixed her stance.
Sara's heart started to race. Being so close to Nyssa, with her holding her like that, it makes the heat rise and go round and round her entire system.
"Steady." Nyssa said so close to her ear, it made her inside tighten. "Your heart's racing. Am I making you nervous?" Nyssa was about to step back.
"No. Just stay there."
"Okay." Nyssa pressed her body even closer to Sara's, with her one hand still on her hip and the other she gently placed where her heart was rapidly beating in between her breasts. "Relax."
Sara took a deep breath, then laughed heartily, tilting her head back to Nyssa's shoulder, making Nyssa smile.
"You can do this." The belief those words resonate made Sara's heart swell. They made her want to believe that she really can do it. She composed herself and tried again.
"Imagine you're looking out into the horizon, where waters meet with the sky. The setting sun casting a red gleam of light, illuminating everything. You're just there, standing and taking in the beauty of the sight."
"Are you there with me?"
"Do you want me there with you?"
"Yes."
"Then, I am. I am always with you, Sara. I am there, with you wrapped tightly in my arms. We're content with just being there, looking on ahead, not seeing the end of that wondrous horizon. Breath-takingly beautiful like the woman I'm holding in my arms. That's what I see when I think about us. Endless. Inevitable. No matter what, the waters and sky would be meeting somewhere, somehow."
The story was able to calm Sara's heart. She never thought of it like that, but the picture Nyssa had painted of them was indeed beautiful. She would drop everything just to have that lovely picture of them together.
Each word rang true for Nyssa. It may not exactly be what she sees things are heading, but it's what she wants and hopes for.
"Now, let go."
With that command, Sara did and she was surprised where the arrow shot through. It hit the target squarely.
"I told you, you can do it."
Sara turned around to face Nyssa and placed her arms around her neck.
"I couldn't have done it without you."
"Of course you would have. It might have taken some time, but I know you'd be able to do it on your own."
"Your undoubtable belief in me is just...unfailing."
"Always."
Nyssa gave her a light kiss on the lips.
"You're amazing, Sara. You should always remember that."
The look they shared spoke the words that both their mouths won't let out. Those three words that both of them want to share, yet hold back the same time. They can both feel it, but neither is ready to lay everything out.
From across the field, coming back from her reverie, Sara found Nyssa looking at her as if she knew what had crossed her mind and that she too remembered it and missed it.
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Nyssa tried leaving notes again for Sara. She thought that maybe it would remind her that there was a time when those simple gestures made her smile. But her hopes were shoved away, for Sara doesn't even bother taking a peek at what's written. She ignores them and just throws them away.
She has also tried talking to Max and asking her for help, but Max couldn't give her anything. She had told her that Sara wouldn't even want to talk about the whole situation.
Nyssa was starting to lose hope but she wants to at least let her know that all that she felt for her were, are real. She truly does love her.
She was tired of just waiting until she comes around and would at least feel comfortable being in the same space as her. She just has to take matters in her own hands. She just has to make her listen. If she still doesn't want her, then at least she has laid it all out there.
She had followed Sara home after school. She went in through the window of her bedroom and hid in the shadows for a while. There was no one else in the house. It was just her and Sara. Sara went in her bedroom, dropped her bag on her bed and went to the bathroom. Nyssa could hear her turning on the shower and her clothes dropping to the ground.
Nyssa waited a moment before she went in after Sara. She shed her clothes and was about to go into the shower with her, but what she saw made her stop in her tracks and her heart break. It wasn't just water that was streaming down Sara's face. There were tears.
She slowly went in and wrapped her arms around her. At first, Sara leaned back to the warm comfort of the embrace, until realization dawned on her. She turned around and pulled away.
"What are you doing here?"
"To see you." Nyssa moved closer and lifter her hand to Sara's face to wipe her tears. "Why are you crying?"
Sara shoved Nyssa's hand away and tried wiping the tears herself.
"It's nothing. It's none of your business."
"Sara."
The way she had said her name made her look at her closely. It wasn't the Nyssa that she had come to know that she was seeing standing before her, the strong and fierce, yet warm and loving. This Nyssa seemed so lost and broken. She almost wanted to let her guard down for her, but she wouldn't. She knew that she would just keep getting hurt. She still doesn't trust her. Doesn't trust herself around her.
"You shouldn't be here."
"This is where I should be. With you."
"Don't."
But Nyssa didn't listen. Not this time. She swiftly moved in and took her mouth in hers. The kiss was slow and steady with an underlying hunger lingering within. Sara tried to resist but the look in Nyssa's eyes, the soft pleas in her words, and the longing in her kiss, made her melt away.
When Nyssa pulled away, she could see tears flowing down Sara's eyes. And she was now fighting back her own.
"I'm sorry, Sara."
"You should go." Sara tried to collect her thoughts. "This was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened. It should never repeat."
Nyssa was taken aback by her words. "A mistake?"
"Yes. A moment of weakness. I shouldn't have let it. It was my fault."
With that, Sara could see the walls and barriers go up in Nyssa's eyes.
"Sara, I..."
"Don't. I don't want to hear it."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to hear another lie."
"What makes you sure that I'm lying?"
"Even if you're not, I won't believe it, Nyssa. And if you keep pushing it, those words won't ever mean a thing to me again."
"So, that's it?"
Sara didn't answer.
Nyssa had the urge to shake her to her senses, but she just got dressed and left without another word.
-----------------------------------
She's trying to take out all of her frustrations with sparring with Alec and Nate. Nate had started joining their sessions every now and then even when in school. They were running, jumping and leaping all over the grounds, and they engage in hand-to-hand combat whenever one caught up with the other.
Sara and the cheerleading squad were also practicing some routine. And Sara couldn't focus well with Nyssa all over the place. She would find herself taking a quick glimpse of her from time to time. She still couldn't get the night before out of her mind.
She just wanted to get lost in that moment. She should have just let herself go even for that one time. But she knew that if she did, it would be more difficult to recover from it.
They were making a high pyramid with her on top. Out of focus, she lost her footing. Falling down, all she could think of was Nyssa. The good times they had and also the hurtful ones. She was still conflicted between them. She thought maybe this fall would just end it all.
Nyssa was carefully watching Sara by the corner of her eye. She could see that she wasn't focused at what she was doing. Her mind was wandering somewhere else. As she was climbing up the top of the pyramid, she ran closer to their direction. A precaution, if ever something happens as it was happening now.
Seeing Sara falling, she reacted as quickly as she could, ran as fast as she could and leapt to catch her. She broke her fall but she landed squarely on her shoulder.
Sara felt the strong body that wrapped around her. She felt the hard thump on the ground, and the body shaking underneath her as they hit the ground. She opened her eyes and turned around in fear for her savior. She saw Nyssa lying there beside her. Of course it was Nyssa. Her teammates helped her up and fussed over her, while Nyssa got up by herself holding onto her left shoulder and walked over to Alec and Nate.
"What the hell was that?" Alec questioned her.
"Be mindful of your tone." Nyssa reprimanded.
"I thought you were done with that foolishness."
Nyssa grabbed him by the throat, rage evident in her eyes.
"Don't you dare talk about her like that."
She released him and went to the school clinic with Nate. She had cracked a rib and dislocated her shoulder during the fall. They had offered to take her to the hospital, but she refused and said that it wasn't necessary. She just needs her shoulder put back in place. They tried giving her pain meds but she said she doesn't need them.
Sara walked in as the school doctor was putting Nyssa's shoulder in place. She could hear the bone slipping back into place, but Nyssa didn't even flinch. It was as if it was just a small scrape. They bandaged her shoulder and ribs, then let her on her way.
Nyssa knew Sara was there, but chose to ignore her. That was what she wanted anyway.
"Thank you." She said from behind her. She wasn't able to say anything when she walked passed her because of the blank emotionless look she had on her.
"I..."
Nyssa turned and looked at her, still expressionless.
"Don't worry. I'm not asking for your gratitude. I won't ask for anything in return. I may agree to get out of your way, but I won't just sit and let you get hurt. I know it seems stupid as I am the one who seems to be doing just that."