I dropped Brad off at work so I had a vehicle to drive, then went to visit Kendra and Gi. Kendra went to run some errands while I was there and even got a nap in before I had to pick him back up.
I had called Steve around noon, hoping I would catch him on lunch.
"Paigie?", he answered.
"Hey, Steve. Sorry I cried".
"It's okay, hun. I'm sorry I made ya cry. If I would have known it was going to be so upsetting...well, I guess I still woulda asked but maybe alone instead".
"I'm really touched you guys think we would be best suited for the job", I assured him, "and our answer is yes".
"Oh, honey, that makes me so happy!", Steve said, sounding choked up.
"I know I'll love your child when they're here, the same as I love Gi. Pregnancy is really hard for me to deal with is all. That has nothing to do with how I feel about any of you. I love you both so much".
"We know, hun", he said. "Really, we get it. Thank you. You would both be excellent parents. Are you sure-?"
"Steven, we are not adopting", I cut him off. "We have to make a conscious choice to do this and it's a long, hard road. Like Brad said, if we aren't each one hundred percent committed then the answer needs to be no. It's no".
"Okay, hun", Steve said. "I gotta get back to it. Love ya".
"Love the shit out of you", I said with a smile.
...........................................................................
Brad took off a couple hours early so we could find me a new vehicle. We decided on another Durango. This one was black and used, but it was fine. By the time we were done filling out paperwork and paying it was supper time.
"Wanna stop somewhere to eat?", Brad asked.
"I'd rather not spend the money", I sighed. "We've been spending so much in Tennessee".
"Do you know what we have to eat at home?", he asked with a smirk.
"Yeah, not much". I hadn't been grocery shopping yet and Brad didn't really do much of that himself.
"So.....sushi?", he asked with a grin.
I laughed. "Fine. Meet you there".
We stopped to eat at a Japanese restaurant which was on our way home.
"Tomorrow I need to leave a little early for us to do therapy", Brad thought out loud. "So, let's go look for rings Wednesday when I'm done with work", he said. "I'd guess most of them are open in evenings, but will you look up the ones in the area and make us a list of where you want to go?"
"I will", I said with a smile. "I'll also get groceries tomorrow".
"Thank you, baby", he said with a smile.
...........................................................................
Therapy was rough. We both cried. Brad admitted he was still incredibly hurt and angry. He wanted to beat Rev to death, and if he thought about things too much, he had a hard time physically being with me.
That really stung, but it was honest, and he had a right to feel that way.
We talked about how I had turned to Steve and Rev when I felt like Brad wasn't available for support, and how I needed to commit to speaking up to Brad immediately when I started feeling like that. Brad then commented that he thought Rev was a huge factor in why I was thinking that way, and my therapist agreed that Rev's opinions had influenced my perspective of Brad, but I refused to let him take all the blame for that. My thinking was off before Rev came into the picture.
I asked Brad something I had been wondering about- why he had suddenly asked me about Rev when he was in jail. He said that he had suspicions about Rev wanting me, but hadn't really been worried because he trusted me. However, at the scene of the accident, when Rev and I were talking to each other, he thought he saw a look on my face like I looked at him, and he couldn't shake it. Then when Steve and Andy had been so adamant about me not staying with Rev, it clicked into place. He went with his gut and asked.
That hurt me so badly I felt lightheaded and nauseous. Brad had seen me looking at Rev like I loved him, and of course I did, but Brad shouldn't have had to see it. My heart was breaking for the pain I caused both of these men.
I wondered how Rev was holding up. He was probably burying himself in work, hopefully not being overly risky because he was hurt and angry, but I wouldn't hold my breath on that.
...........................................................................
Rev was in Texas. His cover was blown all over the Midwest and up north, so he had to relocate south if he wanted to have any realistic impact. There was a non-profit group in Texas, comprised of volunteers, and headed by a former ex-military special ops commander, who saw a need and decided to fill it.
This man watched the Mexican border, and would effectively take over trafficking convoys. Tim had an understanding with Border Patrol. The people doing the transporting would disappear, and the intended victims would be integrated into a network of volunteers, helping them to heal, providing a place to stay, finding them work, and giving them guidance on how to become citizens.
Majority were women in their teens and twenties who had been purposely separated from their families during their immigration into the States, typically illegaly. This non-profit on the surface focused on the network and provide funding for helping the victims. The tactical aspect was secret, and the weapons were illegal.
Rev admired this man and what he was doing. His mission was to meet him, find out how he could help, and see in what areas the government could be of most assistance.
He hadn't dug into Paige on social media for a week but he thought about her nearly every minute of every day. It was a start. He would focus hard on helping these people and the mental break would come.
...........................................................................
Wednesday felt strange. I had never been jewelry shopping with a man before. Jay simply gave me things which I was expected to wear, regardless if I liked them or not, and the only thing Steve got me was the engagement ring I never wore.
Not only were Brad and I looking for my ring, but we were also looking for his. I wanted them to coordinate but not exactly match, I wanted them to suit us, and I wanted them not to cost a fortune. It was difficult because every sales person wanted to push me into expensive giant diamond rings, which was completely against my entire plan.
I was so flustered and frustrated that even if I had found the perfect ring, I wouldn't have known it.
I could feel my face burning as we walked out of the third mall store.
"Please tell me it's them you're mad at, not me or the rings".
"I'm annoyed with the service", I said. "So annoyed that I wouldn't buy anything from any of these places even if I found the perfect ring!"
"Okay. Was there any other store you had on your list or should we be done for tonight?" Brad's brow was furrowed and he looked concerned, but also slightly disappointed. I knew he wanted to get this done before I had to go back to Nashville, if at all possible.
I checked the note I had made in my phone.
"There's a small shop downtown. I didn't think they'd have as much selection so I was holding out till last. They're open until eight".
I met his eyes. He waited expectantly.
"Let's try it", I said. "I'm done with the corporate stores. Commission doesn't make for good service".
He nodded.
We pulled up to the little shop. I had driven past it before without noticing it much. It was, indeed, tiny. My hopes weren't very high, but we were greeted warmly by a professional looking middle aged woman, who asked if she could help right away.
I told her what we wanted and she directed us to the right area then actually walked away and said to let her know if we had questions or wanted to see anything. I appreciated the space. I could breathe and think without someone pressuring me.
We were in front of the matching wedding band sets. Apparently that's the category of what I wanted. I did not want an engagement band, just a decorative band and only one of them.
"Those are interesting", Brad said, indicating a set of black and mahogany brown rings, with the woman's band being slightly more narrow and having a row of little diamonds also encircling the middle of the band. They appeared to be in layers, black on the outside, brown on the inside, diamonds in the center.
"I do like those", I said. I called the woman over and she took them out for us to try on while explaining what they were.
"My husband made these. The bands are black zirconium overlaid with whiskey barrel wood".
"What?!", I asked in amazement as Brad chuckled.
"Whiskey barrel rings are quite popular for men, and my husband makes most of the jewelry we have for sale here, so he thought he would try experimenting with it, too. He got the barrel from Tennessee".
I started laughing and met Brad's eyes, which were twinkling in delight.
"I guess that's fate", I said.
He looked at the woman. "This actually fits me...perfectly, in fact, but obviously that's too big for her. What do we do if we want these?"
"He will just make her one in her size and you can take that one with you today if you've decided".
Brad looked back at me, smiling. "Yep, I'm decided. You?"
"It couldn't possibly be more perfect", I said with a grin, my stomach fluttering.
The woman measured my finger and Brad paid for everything with his check card like it was nothing. All things considered, the rings were among the cheapest we had viewed but I always cringed about large purchases. We left with his ring safely in a box and she would call him when mine was completed.
He kissed me slowly and intentionally before letting me into the passenger seat of our new-to-us Durango.
"That was meant to be, baby. Thank you for agreeing with me. You've made me incredibly happy".
"Thank you for agreeing with me", I corrected him, laughing, "and thank God for leading us to the perfect rings".
...........................................................................
Thursday morning Brad and I slept in, showered, then made our way over to my brother's where I did most of the cooking for our Thanksgiving meal. I had wanted Brad to bring his ring to show them what we got, and instead of bringing it in the box, he simply put it on his finger.
When I raised my eyebrow at him he simply said, "I don't want to lose it", and winked at me.
I felt myself flushing and melting. Gah, he was gorgeous! He laughed at me and shook his head.
Kendra and Andy both admired the uniqueness of the ring, and when I explained how mine was basically the same except the row of diamonds, Andy started laughing.
"Only my sister would shun a giant diamond in exchange for a strip of wood from a whiskey barrel!"
"That's why she's the girl for me", Brad said in his deep voice, again winking at me, and again making me blush.
"You guys are so adorable", Kendra said, beaming. "You can still make her blush".
"Doesn't take much", Andy said, rumpling my still-damp, loose and unruly curls.
I punched him in the ribs.
"Damn it!", he grumbled. "Brad!", he whined.
"Baby, don't hurt your brother. He's too old for that shit", Brad said, completely straight faced.
"Thanks, asshole", Andy grumbled then he brightened as he thought of something. "Hey, you guys want some whiskey to celebrate your engagement? I just ordered a hundred year old-".
"NO!", I cut him off with a shout.
He looked confused.
"We're not engaged", Brad said, which made Andy look more confused. "We're simply getting married. We're not doing all the traditional steps, and that particular word makes her not want to marry me, so we aren't going to use it".
Andy nodded slowly. "Whatever gets you there, little sister. So do you want to try my special whiskey in celebration of picking out your rings?", he reworded.
"Sure", Brad and I said in unison.
"You fuckers are weird", Andy muttered as he headed down to his bar to fetch his whiskey.
...........................................................................
Brad gave the five of us a ride to the airport Thanksgiving night, continuing to wear his ring and show it off to the guys.
"I want you to put that away when you get home", I told him sternly.
He just smiled at me and kissed me goodbye like I would never see him again. "See you in two days, baby", he whispered in my ear, sending goosebumps down my spine.
...........................................................................
Steve was driving his truck to the airport and would leave it there to transport the four of them back from the airport Sunday night. He was excited to see his Paigie perform, and was pumping Brad for information on her previous performances as he drove.
On the plane, Bre sat in the window seat, Brad next to her, and Steve on the aisle. They had tried it with Steve in the middle, but that was laughable, and Bre insisted she wanted to be by the window. The flight was smooth and quick.
They took a cab to their hotel and then Brad showed them around a bit until Tommy said the coast was clear at the cottage.
"This is sooooo cuuuttteee!", Bre gushed. "I love everything about this!"
"We do, too", Brad said. "We plan to get married here so you'll have to come back at least once more".
"This doesn't look like Paige's style of decorating", she commented.
"It's not", Brad said. "The owner sold it to us as is. She had decorated it for renting, not for herself, so she wasn't attached to anything here. Luckily for us because we wouldn't have had time to furnish it".
"It have a basement?", Steve asked.
"Nope. Most houses here don't".
"You say they're practicing here?", Steve asked, looking around skeptically. It was awfully small.
"They squeeze everything into the living room", Brad said, grinning. "Plus, two of them stay here when I'm not here. They rotate through so they take turns saving money on hotels, except Sam. He's married to a nurse. Doing okay financially, I suppose, and doesn't want to give his wife any suspicions".
"You trust all those guys?", Steve asked, feeling a little pit of worry in his stomach.
"Sure do. Two of them are gay, Sam is happily married, and Clay isn't interested". Brad chuckled. "I asked him why and he says she seems like a lot of work".
Steve and Bre started laughing. "If that ain't the truth!", Steve said.
"They've protected her several times from aggressive men in the crowds, too. They're good shit", Brad added.
"Isn't there security to protect her?", Steve asked, again feeling worried.
"Yes, but they're not specifically for her. They're for the whole building. So by the time they get there...".
"She needs her own bodyguard", Steve said sternly.
"That's what I go for", Brad said, explaining how he took three guys down at the last show he attended.
"But you're not always there", Steve said, feeling worried.
"Those four are", Brad said. "I gave them some pointers. They're okay for now. If things escalate, I'll figure it out".
"I don't like it", Steve pressed. "She's been kidnapped once this month already".
"Steven", Bre said quietly. "Let Brad handle it. He's not going to put Paige in danger. Drunks are not the same as Jay".
Steve let it drop but he was not convinced or okay.
...........................................................................
Brad took Bre and Steve to his favorite restaurant in the area then they headed to the bar Paige was performing at, arriving about thirty minutes before she was scheduled to begin.
The bouncers at the door were looking for tickets but Brad told them who they were, and thankfully Tommy had gotten them on the list. They were still required to pay the cover though, so Brad paid for the three of them and they got waved through.
As they approached the stage, Brad could see Paige helping Clay by holding one of the drums in position so he could tighten the screws and stabilize it there. She was wearing tiny ripped and frayed jean shorts, her cowboy boots, and a loose white short sleeve shirt with the neckline wide so it purposely hung off one shoulder, revealing one thick strap of a white tank top underneath. Her long, thick hair was straightened perfectly, the tips ending at the waistband of the shorts.
They slowly walked to the stage, waiting for her to turn. The drum was set and she let go but still hadn't turned.
Finally Steve spoke. "Hiya, Paigie", he said.
The surprise was worth it. She whipped her head around and her mouth dropped open, then she ran the quick three steps it took her to get to the edge of the stage and leaped off, launching herself into Steve's arms. He laughed as he caught her without even taking a step back. She flung her arms around his neck, wrapping her legs around his waist.
"Steve!", she shrieked. "How are you here?!?"
"Your boyfriend wanted to surprise you", he said, setting her down.
She flung her arms around Bre's neck next, pulling her face down to her level and kissing her repeatedly on the cheek as Bre laughed. Next, she turned to Brad, placing each of her hands on his cheeks and pulling his face to hers, kissing him intently.
"Thank you", she said, finally, pulling away.
He simply smiled and patted her butt.
She turned and waved the guys over.
"Guys, this is Steve, and Bre", she said proudly, introducing each of the guys in turn. They all shook hands with Steve.
"My, you are a big one, aren't you?", Jake said approvingly, looking Steve up and down.
Tommy complimented Bre on her hair, which Brad noted made her face brighten up. Paige was really fucking gorgeous tonight, and Bre's husband was going to be staring at her for hours. That had to be on Bre's mind. Brad vowed to make her feel better, and decided to start right then.
"Pregnancy sure looks good on our Bre", Brad said to Tommy, squeezing her shoulder. "You can't even tell she's pregnant except for that beautiful glow, can you?"
"Goodness, no!", Tommy exclaimed. "How far are you, dear?"
"Four months", Bre said proudly, glancing at Brad with an appreciative smile.
"Girl, you look amazing!", Jake piped up and Bre smiled, looking embarrassed but pleased.
Brad still had his hand on her shoulder and winked at Paige, who had met his eyes with a smile. She knew what he was doing and why.
"When do you have shows next week?", Brad asked.
"Friday and Saturday", Tommy answered.
"Bre, next week on Monday or Tuesday can you come with me to look for a dress?", Paige asked.
"Sure, for performing?", Bre asked.
Paige laughed. "To get married in", she corrected her.
"Oh!", Bre exclaimed. "Yes, of course! Either day!"
"Great", Paige grinned then turned to Brad. "Jake and Clay don't have any reason to fly back for those few days so they're going to stay at the cottage starting tomorrow night".
"That's fantastic. I prefer it to not sit empty", he agreed.
"I really appreciate it", Clay piped up.
"Me, too", Jake said. "Thank you so much".
"Anytime guys", he smiled.
...........................................................................
Brad was overall really impressed with their show. They performed with the energy and passion they always had, but what was impressive was how well people in the audience knew their songs and got into them. Not just the two which were on the radio, either. Nope, they knew most of their songs. They only did their own songs tonight. At the end of the show, the stage was swarmed so fast that Brad found himself actually feeling a little nervous for his girl. The bouncers were present and immediately asked people to step back.
The bar manager came up to the microphone and told people there would be a short delay as the bands changed out. Paige, Tommy, and Sam signed autographs as Clay and Jake moved their equipment to the back of the stage and the big name band started to set up. Brad noticed they had their own security with them up on stage.
"You want help with Paigie?", Steve asked, looking worried.
"Yeah, actually", Brad said. "Save this table", he instructed Bre and motioned for Steve to follow him. They got within four deep of Paige, and Brad noted that Tommy was doing a nice job of keeping people out of her personal space.
Brad watched as the crowd around them diminished then saw her look up at him and melt his heart with her beautiful smile.
"Hey, beautiful", he said. "You wanna get out of here?"
She laughed. "No way! I need to see this next show!"
He gave her a half smile. "What I meant was out of the crowd".
"Yeah, Paigie", Steve said. "I can carry ya through if you want".
"Ooooh, Paigie?!?", Jake squealed. "That is just the cutest!!! I wanna say it, too!"
Paige's laughter tinkled. "Go ahead", she said. "It used to annoy me but I don't mind it now. Steve started it, Bre says it, and literally her entire family only calls me that".
"Yeah, I wanna do it, too", Tommy said.
Brad shook his head with a smile and looked at Steve, who shrugged.
"What do you need, baby?", Brad asked her.
"I'd like to go to the bathroom and get some whiskey".
"We will take you to the bathroom if one of you guys can get the whiskey?", Brad asked, catching Clay's eye.
He nodded. "Anyone else need anything?"
Steve ordered a beer and a water for Bre, and Brad asked for whiskey for himself. Jake and Clay had started for the bar when suddenly the famous singer stepped out on the stage and introduced himself to Paige.
Jake and Clay turned right around and waited. This guy was very friendly, down to earth, and had a whole slew of detailed compliments for Paige. Brad had to hand it to her. She wasn't rattled in his famous presence at all. She took the compliments humbly like always and thanked him for letting them be the opening band.
"You know any of my songs?", he asked her.
She laughed. "I'm pretty sure I know them all".
He told her which song they were opening with and asked if she would like to stay up there and do it with him.
"I hear you're pretty good at winging it", he said.
"That's what she does best", Brad piped up from below.
"That's my boyfriend, Brad", she introduced him, "and our friend, Steve. They were going to take me to the bathroom and then, yes, I would love to sing that with you!"
The guy waved at him and Steve and smiled at Paige's enthusiasm. He gave her a couple tips for what he thought might work in the song and said, "Get back up here as soon as you can".
"This is fantastic!", Tommy gushed. "Thank you so much!"
Brad helped his beaming girlfriend off the stage and Steve cleared a path while he steered her to the bathroom. They met Rafe on the way and he was even more excited than Paige was!
"This is HUGE for you, darling! Huge!"
Rafe grabbed Brad's arm. "This must get put online- tell Tommy?"
"I will", Brad said. "He'll be up there. We have a table". He pointed out Bre.
"I'll try to get there", Rafe said. "I need to find the owner first. I will have our PR lady get with Tommy soon. He's been doing fine but you're getting popular enough now, she can take over".
"No", I flat out told him.
"What? What is no? Why is no?"
"Tommy is doing a great job with it and he knows what he's doing. We're not handing it over to someone else and giving up the ability to post our own content when and how we choose", I informed him, bristling at the thought. "If she wants to give him feedback and suggestions, she can do that, but she's not taking it over and nothing in our contract says we have to allow it. It says that marketing and publicity will be provided, not that we have to accept it or we violate the contract. That's why no".
Rafe was sputtering and blustering. "You are...that's not! I am trying to help! Ahhhhh, you are giant pain in ass!", he finally spat out.
I stood immobile.
"Fine", he said. "She can do feedback".
"Thank you", I said and smiled at his back as he walked away swearing in Spanish.
...........................................................................
I went to the bathroom then Brad got me back up on stage. I was pumped to do this and appreciative of the publicity.
The lead singer motioned me over and we ran through the song's verses quickly together.
He gave me a couple pointers then smiled widely and clapped me on the shoulder.
"You're gonna be great!", he said, then motioned to one of the security guys. "This is Ted and he's going to get you back to your boyfriend after you sing. Show him where that is".
I pointed Brad out to him.
"You might want to consider getting your own security soon", he advised me. "You're getting popular enough, plus you're tiny and pretty".
"We aren't really making enough to cover that yet", I pointed out.
"Can't make money if you're dead", he pointed out with a kind smile. "People get really nutso over fame. Just because you're on the radio or TV, it affects them. It's weird. Gotta be safe, kid".
I nodded but I doubted anything would phase me after Jay.
The bar owner introduced the band. Once the cheering died down, the lead singer spoke.
"Hey, y'all. It's been a minute since I performed in Nashville. How 'bout that Paige Anne Davis, huh?"
There were cheers, applause, and catcalls.
"Well, that little lady gonna do one more song for y'all".
There were more cheers.
"Make sure you get online and like her on social media, too", he said, and motioned me over.
The song was a fun, laid back song about friends and drinking. He had a voice similar to Tommy's and there overall wasn't much range to the song, so I sang with him but then also added some octaves and held out some notes while he continued into the chorus or the next verse.
The crowd loved it. When we were done, he gave me a hug and said in my ear, "That was fantastic, kiddo! I'm gonna have my manager contact yours about opening for us again!"
"Thank you!", I said sincerely, and let Ted take me to Brad as the singer reminded the audience who I was.
I couldn't even watch the next two songs because I was bombarded by autographs at our table. Steve was irritated, I could tell. He and Brad were acting as my bodyguards and Tommy was directing autograph traffic.
Finally, I was left alone and Jake shoved a whiskey into my hand. It was lukewarm but I slammed it anyway.
"Water?", I asked hopefully, and Bre handed one over.
The place was jam packed, the audience was going crazy, and Steve started looking uncomfortable.
Over the top of my head he called to Brad, "How we gonna get her out of here?"
Rafe spoke up. "You all can leave out the back with the other band. I already checked with their security. You gotta get up to the stage after they're done and it's arranged".
"He told me he's going to have his manager talk to you about us opening for us again", I told Rafe, and everyone at the table exploded in excitement.
"You are doing my job for me", Rafe scolded me kindly. "You make it too easy".
"I thought I was a giant pain in the ass?", I grinned.
"Ah! Yes, you are that, too", he nodded.
.............................................................................
Brad noticed Bre getting up from the table and also noticed Steve not moving or paying any attention because he was busy talking to Paige.
"Where you going?", he leaned over and asked.
"Bathroom", she said over the music.
He nodded and motioned with his hand for her to come with him. She looked grateful. It was packed in there. He confidently put his arm around her shoulders and started walking with her, clearing a path with his other arm and shoulder while guiding her through. He stopped outside the bathroom and waited for her.
She emerged momentarily, looking pale and tired. There were circles underneath her eyes. He felt a pang of worry as he was reminded what pregnancy was like for Paige.
He swung his arm around her shoulders again but didn't start walking. She looked at him expectantly.
"You're tired", he observed.
"I'm okay", she said, smiling.
"No, you're not, and you don't need to pretend you are", he snapped, feeling angry. Not at her but at her completely oblivious dumb ass of a husband. "You're going to leave now. Traveling wore you out, and you need to do it again tomorrow".
"Steve's not going to want to", she said, looking away with her forehead slightly wrinkling.
Yeah, because he's more worried about his Paigie getting out of here safely than he is his own wife, who is pregnant.
Brad felt his blood boil. He was going to put a stop to that right now.
"He's not getting a choice", Brad growled. "Let's go".
He led her back through the crowd and grabbed Steve's shoulder when they got to the table. A song had just ended so they could hear each other. Steve turned away from Paige.
"Your wife is tired", Brad stated. He heard the edge to his voice and he didn't care.
Steve looked startled and from the corner of his eye he saw Paige's head whip up to look at him.
"You okay, hun?", Steve asked, peeking around Brad at his wife.
"I am tired", Bre admitted.
"Can you make it till the end?", Steve asked. "I think there's only a couple songs left and I wanna help them get Paigie outta here".
"I-", Bre started but Brad cut her off.
"Absolutely not!", he snapped. "It's going to be mass chaos if you wait until the end. Getting Paige out of here is going to be difficult enough without having to worry about your pregnant wife getting jostled. You want her getting elbowed in the stomach or knocked down some stairs? You are leaving now or I'm taking her myself".
Brad was livid and he didn't care how he sounded. Steve was being a fucking dumb ass. He hadn't raised his voice but he knew what his tone sounded like from the silence at the table. He could feel everyone's eyes on him.
Steve's face had changed from shocked to annoyed to worried as Brad was talking. Clearly he saw the logic in it because he stood.
"You're right", he said. "I wasn't thinking, hun. I'm sorry".
"It's okay", Bre said in a small voice at Brad's shoulder but she didn't sound okay and it really wasn't okay. Brad turned and gave her a one armed hug, and she hugged him back with both arms wrapped around his torso.
"Thank you", she very quietly breathed in his ear before letting him go. They made their goodbyes as another song started and Steve took her hand to lead her away.
Brad sat and met Paige's questioning gaze. He didn't think he needed to explain. She simply raised one eyebrow as he took a swig of his whiskey.
...........................................................................
Sunday evening, back at home, Brad sat me down on our bed and took my hand. I was instantly nervous.
"What is it?", I asked, trying to read his face and trying not to panic.
"I have a court hearing in December for desecration of a corpse".
"How fucking stupid!", I fumed. "Did his family push for that?"
"Nope. The state. Scott says it's simply a formality, and he doubts anything will come of it, but it needs to be followed up on".
"Why haven't I seen anything for kicking him to death?", I snapped.
"Scott says you're probably going to need to go to court for it also, but again, it's more of a formality.
"Stupid bullshit", I grumbled.
"Sorry, babe. I knew you weren't going to like it".
"Fucking right. He's still negatively affecting my life and he's not even alive anymore", I sighed.
Would Jay's negative effects literally ever end?
...........................................................................
Sure enough, Monday morning my court date came in the mail, also set for December, but a different day than Brad's.
At three, Kendra and Gi picked me up and we met Bre at the local bridal shop where Bre had found her gown. Both women were severely excited, and Bre was even more excited about Gi than she was about wedding dresses.
It didn't take me long to find what I was looking for. I intended to be very particular about what I wanted and they only had three dresses which fit my criteria.
Of the three, only one was flattering on me and fit who I was and what I wanted it for. Bre and Kendra were in love with it. It was a sheath style dress, which hugged every curve and made me look taller than I was. It had halter straps, a deep v-neck, and an open back hitting right below my shoulder blades. There wasn't any lace or beading on it, but there was a long row of decorative buttons covered in fabric running down the back, ending at the top of my butt. It was floor length with no train and made of chiffon. The entire dress appeared to be wrapped around me at an angle, so the skirt appeared to be in layers of multiple lengths, with the bodice having so many layers, it almost appeared as ruffles. It was gorgeous though not overly fancy, had a vintage feel to it, and it fit me like a glove. Even in three inch heels, though, it was far too long.
"Look at your butt!", Bre said admiringly.
"Forget that- look at her boobs!", Kendra said, laughing.
I bought it and had them hold it until I decided on shoes, at which point I would come back in to get it hemmed up appropriately.
The whole event took less than an hour. Both Bre and Kendra were amazed and laughed at how easy that was for me.
"You guys want to help me look for shoes today?", I asked.
Gi had slept through but Kendra needed to get her fed soon, so she declined.
"I still have some time", Bre offered.
"You'll have to drop me off at home after then", I let her know.
"No problem!"
We found the perfect pair at the fourth store we went to. They were shimmery white satin peep toe wedges with a two inch heel. I had decided wedge would be the way to go as we would be getting married in the lawn. They also had a brooch cubic zirconium cluster on the top of each foot, adding a vintage feel, which went along right with the dress.
"That's your something new!", Bre said, grinning.
"Oh, I don't need to do traditional anything", I said, inwardly cringing. I didn't have family history to contribute to my attire, nor did I have a mother or grandmother who would care what I did.
"Yes, you do", she said. "Let's go get your blue underwear", she said, pointing at the lingerie store. When she had gotten married, I had recommended to her blue underwear as her something blue.
I started for the store and then remembered when exactly was the last time I was there. I was unexpectedly slammed with a wave of grief. Rev and I had gone here to pick things for me to keep at his house.
Fuck.
Tears burned my eyes and I grabbed Bre's arm. I couldn't see to walk because I was blinded by tears.
"Paige, what on earth?", she asked.
"I'm sorry", I whispered, shutting my eyes. "Hold on". I got myself together then opened them. She looked really worried.
"Never mind", I told her stubbornly. "I'm fine, and you won't like what it's about, so come on".
Her face flickered with something...irritation maybe, and she nodded.
I found a satin pair of royal blue underwear in my favorite style and bought those, along with a really pretty matching satin and lace nightie to go along with it. I had worn a couple of those for Rev, but never for Brad or anyone else. I would wear that on our wedding night.
Bre's phone rang and I checked the time. Quarter after five. Steve was like a clockwork.
She answered and told him where we were.
"We can be done", I told her and she nodded.
"We're on our way back now", she told him. "I just need to drop Paigie off first".
"Thanks for helping me", I told her after she hung up.
"Of course!", she replied. "You helped me so much! So now you need something old and something borrowed", she added. "Do you want to look through my jewelry?"
"You know what?", I said, as an idea came to me. "I'm going to see if I can go through Andy's mom's stuff for something to borrow. She had loads of jewelry and I that's the closest I have to family heirlooms. Andy gave me a pair of her earrings last Christmas. The opals".
"Oh, Paige, that's it!", Bre exclaimed. "The opal earrings can be your something old and then find another piece of jewelry to borrow and you're done! Perfect!"
"You're right", I said, grinning. "Yay! But don't get any ideas about bouquets or anything else traditional. This is the extent of it".
Then my phone rang. It was Brad.
"Hey. We're heading home now", I told him.
"You don't need to rush, baby", he said. "You want to go out to eat? We could invite Bre and Steve?"
"Oh, sure!", I said. "Bre, you guys want to eat out with us tonight?"
"Ah, sure...", she said reluctantly, "but I had my heart set on a pizza, so...".
I laughed. "The baby wants pizza", I told Brad. "You okay with that?"
"Absolutely", he said. "Why don't I just grab Steve and we can meet you two?"
"You're so smart", I told him affectionately.
"Remember that next time you think I'm wrong about something", he teased.
"Haha".
I told him where to meet us and hung up.
Dinner was excellent. Brad was excited to hear I found my dress and shoes.
"I'll go back to the store tomorrow with the shoes so they can decide how many feet to chop off the hemline", I explained.
Steve started laughing while drinking his beer and choked.
I gave him the finger.
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That night I had difficulty falling asleep. Normally I laid in Brad's arms, absorbed the aura of calm he exuded, and drifted right off, but tonight he fell asleep and I laid awake in his arms, not feeling calm at all.
Going into the lingerie store brought me back to a fond memory of Rev, which led to a ton of other fond and passionate memories, and suddenly I was missing him, yearning for him, and grieving the loss of him as acutely as if he had died.
As I had told Brad, I knew I was meant to be with him, and I didn't have doubts about that anymore, but it didn't mean I didn't love and miss Rev any less. It cut me deeply to banish him from my life but it was the only way I could guarantee Brad, and myself, that I wouldn't cheat again. I didn't trust myself with Rev at all, and I knew that talking to him or seeing him would only increase the yearning, but oh, God, how I missed him.
I carefully rolled away from Brad, and let silent tears escape, to release some pressure on the pain that had built up since I went into the store with Bre.
She had looked annoyed so I figured she knew it had something to do with Rev, and I knew that wasn't going to get me any sympathy with her. She hadn't ever seemed to like Rev, and I'm sure she couldn't understand how anyone could cheat because it wasn't in her nature to do so. I was sometimes surprised she was still friends with me, but then I realized maybe the only reason was because Brad took me back. If he hadn't, her loyalty would probably have been with Brad, and she probably wouldn't have let Steve side with me. Not that he had, but he would always love me no matter what, and I knew that.
I silently cried for a while longer before coming to a conclusion. Before I married Brad, there was something I needed to do, and also preferably before it snowed. I had to go back to Rev's and get all my stuff out of there. It felt unfinished leaving it there, and how hard would it be for him to be looking at my things?
I had no idea where he was or what he would be doing, and I wasn't going to ask. I was going to his house tomorrow and I prayed he wouldn't be there.
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