love, your sweet p

By jwedek5352

2.9K 92 36

***MATURE WARNING*** Name: Pressley Isabella Hosbach Age: 12 Live: New York City, New York/Florham Park, New... More

⚠️Caution (PLEASE READ)⚠️
prologue
dear mommy and tallie,
i'm so sorry.
it wasn't the show.
i've been suffering for a while now,
ever since the car accident.
i know how much you loved me,
but i still felt unworthy of it.
i know how much worth i had to you,
but i still felt worthless.
i know i could have talked to you,
that you might have helped me,
but i needed to take care of it on my own.
i felt alone,
like i was in a dark room,
and it was locked.
this was the only way
i could get out
and finally be happy.
i forgot what that feels like,
to be happy.
i didn't want to do anything,
not even dance.
i just stopped caring.
if i ever hurt you in any way,
i'm sorry.
if i made a mistake in any way,
i'm sorry.
i deserved any bullying.
i deserved all the hate.
i can't do this anymore.
i love you guys so much,
but i couldn't love myself.
it was tiring,
being happy all the time,
when i would cry myself to sleep.
every. single. night.
i wish it didn't come to this,
but i needed to end the pain.
i needed to do it so i could be happy again.
this isn't goodbye.
i'll always be your baby.
i'll always be your best friend.
i'm not gone.
i was misplaced,
a mistake.
i'll be watching over you,
forever and always.
again,
i'm sorry.
love, your sweet p
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 11
Day 12
Day 13
Day 18
Day 19
Day 20 (FINALE)

i know how much it must hurt to read this.

87 2 0
By jwedek5352

February 1, 2019

Dear Diary,

     Guess who's writing this from the bus? Me! It's a ten-hour drive to Redbank, so I've been forced into a bus with an entire production crew, six mothers who are already not getting along, my two dance teachers, and six other kids who I barely know.

    It's safe to say we've bonded a lot. We did a lot of karaoke. I always got the vibe that Hannah was really shy, but when she's broken out of the reins of her mother, she's super talkative. I think his smile is really cute. Lilly and I also started watching The Good Place. We also have the same crush: The Dolan Twins. Well, I like Grayson and she likes Ethan.

     I totally think Sarah has a crush on Brady. Sarah's two years younger than Brady, but oh well. #Sady. Abby got us cookies. She got me a peanut butter chocolate chip one. That's my favorite and it was so good!

     Dancing wise, it was the same. We're not dancing together in the group dance, but I mean, how can you blame us? I've known everybody here for a week. It's not fair! But Abby demands perfection, so I've been trying.

The trio is not stage-ready according to Stacey. The producers are making her keep picking on Sarah, and I caught Sarah crying in the bathroom before we left. I left her alone because I'm not too good in these situations.

I have to stop writing, though. I'm only writing due to this little lamp that I can clip onto this diary and everybody else has fallen asleep. Eek, I'm so excited for tomorrow!

Love,

sweet p

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