A few weeks after that, you started dating an agent who worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. He didn't spark the kind of passion in you that a certain team member had, but he was kind and he was cute so you said yes when he asked you out. Dating him helped you shove down the hurt of rejection so deep you could pretend that it never existed in the first place.
You're control over your powers grew with each passing week as did your skills in hand-to-hand combat and weapons. You still weren't the same level of tactitian of the likes of Clint or Steve, but you were a valued member of the team.
It was nearly a year before you officially met Thor. You liked him immediately. He had this energy about him that reminded you greatly of a golden retriever. Whenever he was down on Earth you spent a lot of time laughing with him and introducing him to pop culture of Earth.
For two years you and Clint managed to keep your relationship strictly in the friend zone. Sure sometimes there was a quick flicker of desire that would sneak up on you but it was easily ignored. Sometimes, you thought you caught Clint looking at you with such intensity you thought you would melt from the heat of his gaze. But you valued his friendship more than you wanted something more with him so you had no problem respecting what he wanted.
And then the two of you were sent on a mission that changed all that.
"I'm sending you with Clint to Italy." Steve said as he handed you both a file. You automatically opened it to start flipping through the pages, a part of you amused like you always were that Steve still insisted on using paper files. It drove Tony crazy.
"What's in Italy?" I asked.
You and Clint listened as Steve explained that there was intel that a man named Strucker, a man who was suspected as being high up in what remained of the command of HYDRA.
"Wait, so we are going in to gather intel?" You asked wanting clarification.
"Yes."
"Like some kind of secret agent?"
"Yes." Steve repeated.
"But I've never been trained in counter intelligence and I don't speak Italian."
Clint patted your hand, "Don't worry I am and I can."
You looked at him in surprise, "You can speak Italian?"
" Sì, parlo italiano." Clint said.
Part of your brain found that ridiculously attractive and you had to shake your head to get the thought to disappear as you turned to Steve again, "Okay, fine, but aren't you concerned about the fact that neither of us are well–unknown anymore? Not since the whole mess with Project Insight."
"Not particularly. Clint is good at blending and you are going to be acting like tourists on vacation."
"We are?"
"Yes." Steve answered then he waited to see if you had any further questions before he continued. He laid out the full plan and you listened intently.
As Steve finished up, Clint lifted his finger, "How long is this expected to take?"
"A week? Maybe two?"
"Ah. Is there anything else you need to tell us? I have to go make a phone call."
Steve waved him away and Clint left the office. Steve focused on you as the door shut behind him, "Wait, I actually want to ask you something."
You sat back down, "What's up."
"Are you still seeing that former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent?" Steve asked.
It was so unexpected that you assumed you misheard him, "I'm sorry?"
He looked distinctly uncomfortable, "I apologize, I just – You know Sam?"
"The guy with the wings?" You asked.
"Yes, that's him."
"Yes, I know Sam."
Steve rubbed his hand over the back of his neck and muttered something about how he should have just said no and then he said, "He asked if he could get your number from me. I told him that I thought you were seeing someone and he asked if I would find out."
You grinned as you watched his cheeks dust with pink. Sometimes, Steve could be absolutely adorable, "I see. Well, no I'm not seeing that agent anymore, we broke up several months ago now."
"I see. So about Sam?"
"Tell him he's free to drop me a line sometime. I'm going to go get ready for the mission now, I'll see you later."
The mission was a success and you gathered the intel that Steve was hoping you would get. But there was a problem with the extraction and you both ended up stuck in a tiny one room cabin in the middle of the forested mountains of upper Italy. It was an old safehouse that Clint knew about from early in his time with S.H.I.E.L.D.
Clint set up a security perimeter while you entered the cabin with your bags. It was going to be at least a couple of days before you could be extracted safely. You were staring at the single bed with narrowed eyes.
"Alright, I have the gear set up. If anyone gets within two miles of the place we will know about it and should have enough time to get out if we need to." Clint said as he came into the cabin.
"There's only one bed." You said as you turned towards him.
"What?" He looked towards the bed and then said, "Oh. I could take the floor."
"Is there any kind of shower or something? I feel sticky and gross."
"There's a gravity shower out back." You nodded and grabbed your bag and headed around.
The water was cold and once you got used to the shock you found it refreshing. Feeling clean again, you pulled your clothes back on and squeezed as much water out of your hair as you could. When you entered the cabin you found Clint had put together a basic meal from emergency food supplies he had found as you fled.
"Hungry?" He asked as he held a tin plate out to you.
"I could eat. So what was this place?"
You sat on the ground with him, crossing your legs as you ate the food he gave you. He shrugged, "Nat and I used this place once. It used to be an old safehouse but was labeled as defunct and destroyed years ago. Which is why I think it was the best option–there is no way this location would have been dumped with the data that went out after Nat and Fury made the files public."
You nodded as you finished the food quickly. It was completely dark out now and the temperatures had dropped.
"Do you think we could risk a fire?" You asked as you stared into the empty grate.
Clint's mind had clearly been somewhere else because he jerked a little and said, "Huh?"
You rolled your eyes as you nudged him with your shoulder, "There is a fireplace. Do you think we could start a fire or is it too much of a risk?"
You saw as he considered for a moment before he shook his head, "I don't think we were followed, but better to be safe than sorry."
"Great." You grumbled as you stood moving over to the small sink and rinsing the plate off.
"There should be a cache of blankets and shit somewhere around here." Clint was saying as he stood up and started to search the cabin. He found several in a wooden chest shoved under the bed and dragged them out and piled them on the bed.
When he started to lay several blankets out on the floor you looked at him, "What are you doing?"
"I said that I'd sleep on the floor." He responded.
"Clint, don't be ridiculous. You'll freeze. We can share the bed."
He looked doubtful, "Are you sure?"
To settle the matter you stooped to grab up the blankets he had laid down on the floor and put them on the bed before you said, "We are grown adults. We can handle sleeping in a bed together for a few days due to unique and desperate circumstances."
You found your eyes narrowing as he grinned at you, "What?" you demanded.
Clint shook his head, "You know, you're kinda bossy."
You rolled your eyes as you removed the various weapons stashed on your person, setting them near the bed before you wiggled out of your pants.
"Now what are you doing."
"What's it look like? I'm getting into bed."
"It's not considered a good idea to take your pants off when you are hiding out. What happens if someone comes?" He pointed out as he watched you fold your pants up and set them near the bed.
Sitting on the end of the bed you faced him, "You said you set up a perimeter right?" When he nodded you continued, "Well, then in the rare case that someone were to come near, I'm sure we will have enough time for me to put my pants back on."
Clint stared at you as you buried yourself under the blankets and closed your eyes. You couldn't help the small smile that tugged at your lips when you heard his faint huff before a rustle. You felt the bed dip and there was a rush of cold air as he climbed under the blankets. You felt as his arm brushed against you as he shifted himself into a comfortable position.
After a moment, the combined heat from your body created a toasty warm feeling under the covers. You listened to his breathing for long moments as your mind started to run wild on you.
To try and distract yourself from where your thoughts were going you said, "Hey Clint."
When you opened your eyes, the cabin was so dark you could only tell where he was because of the way that the lump of his body looked just slightly darker than the rest of the room. Just as you had given up and assumed he was sleeping, his voice came from the dark, "Yeah?"
"Can I ask you a super personal question?"
You felt the bed shift and when you felt the gust of his breath you realized he had turned to face you, "What is it?"
"Did you and Nat ever–you know?"
"What?"
"Hook up?"
You heard a soft snort, "God, no. Tasha's my best friend. I love her to death. But it's never been that way between us."
For some reason, this fact made you happy. You didn't know why, it wasn't like you were ever going to be anything more than friends.
"The only teammate or friend I ever did anything like that with was you." Clint's voice was so low you would have missed it if the cabin wasn't so quiet.
"Oh." This was the first time either of you had mentioned what had occurred between the two of you in the two years since you had decided that it wasn't going to happen again.
"You still dating that guy? The agent guy?" Clint asked you suddenly.
"Hm? Oh, Grant? No. We, uh, broke up several months ago."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
You shrugged even though you know he couldn't see it, "It's fine. He was a good guy, I just couldn't be what he wanted."
The bed shifted some again and then Clint asked, "What did he want you to be?"
A soft snort escaped you, "He wanted to marry me."
You could sense Clint's surprise and you didn't blame him. Grant had definitely been more serious about you than you had ever been about him. It had been a surprise when he had proposed. But he understood when you told him you couldn't. You hoped that he would find the one he could marry someday.
Clint was quiet for so long again, you assumed he had fallen asleep, "Why didn't you want to marry him?"
You debated with yourself for a moment about if you should answer honestly but then decided why the hell not. You said, "Because I love someone else and it wouldn't be fair to him."
"Wait, who do you love?"
You took a deep breath, knowing that this was probably a huge mistake but you were too far into this to stop yourself, "You."
Clint sucked in a sharp breath and said your name and you knew what he was going to say. You didn't need to hear it so you shook your head and said, "Just forget I said anything Clint. Blame it on the leftover adrenaline."
You closed your eyes again, listening as Clint breathed. You had felt yourself starting to doze when the bed shifted again and you felt a hand touch your hip. Your eyes snapped open and you could see the slight glint that was his eyes.
He shifted closer to you as his arm wrapped around your back. You stiffened in surprise and whispered, "Clint, what are you doing."
His lips brushed against your mouth as he muttered, "Damning myself to whatever Hell might be in the next world."
"What?" It was all you were able to get out before his mouth was on yours. His tongue brushed against your lips and you opened for him automatically.
His hand slid between your legs and into your underwear. The groan he released when he felt how wet you were went straight to your center.
"Fuck baby, you're so wet." He murmured into your lips as his fingers slipped and slid through your folds.
Your response was lost in a long moan when he slipped his fingers inside you to pump them in and out of your heat. You reached between your bodies to wrap your hand around his cock, stroking him firmly as he worked his fingers in you. The orgasm ripped through you sudden and fast and Clint swore as your walls vised around his fingers.
He stroked you through it then pulled his fingers out and rolled until he was ranged over you. His teeth scraped across your jaw as one hand wrapped around your leg and pulled it high on his waist. Clint fumbled for a moment and then he was thrusting into you.
Your fingernails scratched down his back as he bit lightly at your neck before he sucked hard against the spot.
Hiking your leg up higher on his waist you groaned as he sucked harder and managed to get out between pants, "You know you're gonna leave a mark."
"That's the idea." He muttered back at you.
You laughed as he pulled back and shifted to kneel, then he pushed your knees against your chest and thrust deep with every hard snap of his hips. You felt his pace stutter and knew he was as close as you were.
Clint tipped over the edge first, and as you felt him throb inside you filling you, your own climax shuddered through you. He collapsed against you, his weight not uncomfortable as it pushed you against the mattress.
He nuzzled against you before he pulled out of you. You both shifted around until he was pressed into your back and he wrapped an arm around your waist. As the heat that sex brought you started to cool, Clint tugged the blankets back up until you were both covered again before he buried his face against your neck.
You were almost asleep when you felt his lips move against your skin, and you hummed in question. Clint repeated himself louder, "I love you too. Have been since about a month after you moved into the tower."
With difficulty you held off on falling asleep fully so that you could say, "Then why did you say we shouldn't be together."
You could sense the hesitation in him but then he said, "Because people wouldn't understand."
It didn't make any sense to you, not any more than the comment he made before he kissed you. But for the moment that didn't matter, what mattered is what you needed answered, "Clint. Is this going to happen? Like once we are back with the others?"
He nuzzled against your neck again and said, "If that is what you want."