Headaches & Hazbins: Book 1:...

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Ya either go up or down... A small-time robber, Asher C. Burns, takes the trip down after he meets his end in... Daha Fazla

Bio/Info
Chapter 1: Sacrifice
Chapter 2: Hell-O!
Chapter 3: We'll Be Right Back!
Chapter 5: Workaholics
Chapter 6: Dress to Impress
Chapter 7: You Don't Mess With Crows
Chapter 8: Wrench In My Plans
Chapter 9: Crow Collectors
Chapter Egg: Humpty Dumpty Dumbass Fucking Demon
Chapter 10: Fight Club: Part 1
Chapter 10: Fight Club: Part 2
Chapter 10: Fight Club: Part 3
Chapter 10: Fight Club: Part 4
Chapter 10: Fight Club: Finale
Chapter 11: Exterminated
Chapter 12: Herr Doktor
Chapter 13: Joyride
Chapter 14: Roadtrip!!!: Part 1
Chapter 14: Roadtrip!!!: Part 2
Chapter 14: Roadtrip!!!: Part 3
Chapter ???: The Crow
Chapter 15: By a Campfire on the Overlook
Chapter 16: Cutthroat Competition: Part 1
Chapter 16: Cutthroat Competition: Part 2
Chapter 16: Cutthroat Competition: Part 3
Chapter 16: Cutthroat Competition: Part 4
Chapter 16: Cutthroat Competition: Part 5
Chapter 16: Cutthroat Competition: Part 6
Chapter 16: Cutthroat Competition: Finale
Chapter 17: Where Did You Go?
Chapter 18: Ain't No Club Like Fight Club: Part 1
Chapter 18: Ain't No Club Like Fight Club: Part 2
Chapter 18: Ain't No Club Like Fight Club: Part 3
Chapter 18: Ain't No Club Like Fight Club: Finale
Chapter 19: Dazed and Confused
Chapter 20: The False Exterminator
-=Howdy! I'm Still Alive, I swear!=-

Chapter 4: Clang Clang Clang

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Sometime Later...

*Clang*

[Asher rolls onto his back and slowly opens his eyes. He lets out a loud groan.]

Asher: *Loud Groan* Ughhh... What the hell?

*Clang*

[Asher pushes himself up and rubs his head, it feels like someone hit him in the head with a metal bat. He opens his eyes a bit more to attempt to look at his surroundings but can't see too far, his vision is blurry.]

Asher: Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, (Quickly) What the fuck happened?

*Clang*

[Asher moves his hands to his eyes and rubs them. He pulls them away and blinks rapidly to gain his bearings. His vision clears up and he's able to finally see where he is. He can't see anything. Wherever he is, it is completely dark. He reaches around next to him looking for something to light up the room, his hand hits against something next to him. He feels a small metal string attached to whatever he hits, he grabs it and pulls on it.]

*Click*

[A lamp clicks on lighting up a decent amount of the room. He's lying in some sort of bedroom but everything seems a bit... Off... The bed he's lying in seems a bit bigger than normal along with a large mirror, closet, and doorway. The room also has some other items in it like a nightstand, a chair and desk, a clothing chest, lamp, and some unmarked wooden crates, all of which are normal size.]

*Clang*

Asher: Am I smaller, drunk, or high?

[He looks towards the nightstand next to him, his gas mask resting on it under the lamp he turned on. He grabs it and straps it around his neck.]

Asher: It's all three isn't it?

*Clang*

[Asher moves to the side and stands up off the bed, he lets out a grunt of pain and grabs his chest. He walks over to the large mirror and looks at himself. He doesn't have his hoodie on but his shirt is still on him, his pants and boots are still on as well. There are bandages wrapped around his stab wound from earlier and around some other cuts & bruises he sustained. The bandages he put on himself seem to have been changed by someone.]

Asher: What the- Did someone patch me up? They even replaced the patch over my eye... Huh

*Clang*

Asher: O K. Time to address that clanking noise that's pissing me off.

[Asher walks over to the large door and grabs the handle, he pulls on the door and opens it. He looks out and sees some sort of hallway with some doors on both sides, lit by some lights on the ceiling. To the left of the hallway is a large metal door that seems locked from this side as well as barred shut. To the right on the other end is another large metal door that is slightly cracked open. It doesn't seem as locked up as the other one, from this side at least. Asher walks into the hallway and closes the door behind him, he looks at the slightly opened door and begins to walk towards it. He approaches the slightly opened door and moves it aside to look through it.]

*Clang*

[He pokes his head through the doorway so he can see what's on the other side. The room is huge, it's some sort of large workshop filled with unopened wooden crates, tools and toolboxes, and elevated workbenches. There's a giant forge on one side of the room that has various pipes going in and out of it. The front of it seems to have fake metallic teeth on it. It's impressive just to look at.]

*Clang* *Clang* *Clang*

[Asher's attention is taken away from the forge and towards the source of the clanging noise. There's someone hammering something against an anvil out in front of the forge. The figure is wearing black pants, a white shirt, a leather apron, a tool belt around his waist, and a metal mask on his face. Despite facing in the opposite direction as Asher, he recognizes the figure hammering away at the anvil because of their large height, it's the Beaten Demon from yesterday. He has a tan leather blacksmith apron on with a belt around his waist. The Tall Demon continues to hammer away at a piece of metal on an anvil not noticing Asher.]

Asher: (In Head) Isn't that the guy from yesterday? The one that was getting beat by Jockey's guys? Huh... I guess this must be his place...

*Clang*

[Asher walks inside and looks around the workshop again. He seems impressed by how big it is and by everything in it. There are plenty of workbenches and wooden crates all over. Seems a bit messy.]

Asher: (In Head) Why the hell did he bring me here? Hmmm... Should I let him know I'm awake? Or should I just leave? Hmm.

*Clang*

[Asher puts an index finger and thumb into his mouth, he then whistles loudly echoing across the room.]

Asher: *Loud Whistle*

[The Tall Demon stops hammering, he must have heard Asher's whistle. He turns around and looks towards Asher.]

Tall Demon: Oh.

[The Tall Demon places his hammer on a workbench and turns towards Asher. He lifts the metal mask above his face on top of his head, it rests a bit against his horns.]

Tall Demon: You're awake.

Asher: Uh, yea... I am.

[Asher rubs the back of his head and takes a few steps forward. He stops walking and his eyes go wide.]

Asher: Oh god did I sleep with you?

[The Tall Demon is taken aback a bit, he places his hands up and shakes his head. He didn't expect Asher to answer like that.]

Tall Demon: What? No!

Asher: *Sigh of Relief* Oh, good because I am way out of your league.

[The Tall Demon puts his hands down and stares at Asher. A slightly annoyed glare appears on his face.]

Tall Demon: Is this because you got hit on the head with a bat, or are you always like this?

Asher: A bit of both honestly.

Tall Demon: This is how you normally act? Oh boy...

[Asher walks over to a table surrounded by a few chairs and pulls one out. He looks at the tools and blueprints on the table.]

Asher: Nice place.

Tall Demon: Uhh... Thanks, I guess...

[He looks back at the Tall Demon and takes a few steps towards him, he rests on a railing a few feet away.]

Asher: What the hell is this place anyway?

Tall Demon: It's my workshop. Also, the place where I sleep, eat, and shit... So pretty much my house.

Asher: A workshop? So what the hell are you? Some sort of demon blacksmith?

Tall Demon: Well you're half right.

Asher: Half right? What the hell are you talking about?

[The Tall Demon grabs the metal mask on his head and takes it off. He tosses it onto a workbench next to him and shakes his head so his hair can breathe.]

Tall Demon: I am a blacksmith, more of a weaponsmith, but I'm not a demon.

Asher: You're not? Then what the hell are you exactly?

[The Tall Demon stands up straight and cracks his back. He's at least eight feet tall, possibly eight and a half.]

Tall Demon: I'm an Imp.

[Asher raises an eyebrow in confusion as he looks at the "Tall Demon". He points at the "Tall Demon".]

Asher: You... You're an imp?

Tall Demon: Yep, I'm an imp blacksmith named Jerry. Uhmm, the names Jerry Warner by the way.

[Jerry nods towards Asher.]

Asher: Huh... Asher Burns.

[Asher gives Jerry a little salute.]

Asher: Well uhh... Nice to meet ya, Jerry. And uh... I gotta say, you're uhh...

[Asher takes a good look at Jerry once again. Mainly at his unusual height.]

Asher: You're pretty big for an imp.

Jerry: Yea, I get that a lot...

Asher: Ya know, I thought imps were these really small fuckers you could punt like a football.

Jerry: *Chuckles* Yea, you can do that to them.

Asher: Sounds pretty funny.

Jerry: It is.

Asher: So you're just a really tall imp... How the hell does that work? Did you, oh I don't know go on a diet or something?

Jerry: No you fucking asshole.

Asher: Alright then, explain!

Jerry: Genetics I guess...

Asher: Shit. How tall are you gonna get?

Jerry: Tall enough to see that you're a sad excuse for a demon.

Asher: Ouch. Way to save my life then kill me.

Jerry: A lot worse can happen to you in hell besides a verbal assault.

Asher: Yea, like getting crushed by an anvil.

Jerry: Heard that happened to some guy a few days ago.

Asher: *Laughs* Poor fucker... *Snickers*

Jerry: Uh-huh...

[Asher stops leaning on the railing and walks down a small staircase. He looks around at the workshop, he seems impressed by the size of the whole room and how much stuff is in it. He walks over to one of the workbenches and looks at the tools on it.]

Asher: So... You said you're a blacksmith, right?

Jerry: Mmhmm... More of a weaponsmith. I make weapons for all the horrible gangs and goons of Pentagram City! I'll make anything for anyone! (Muttering) If they can pay the price that is...

Asher: If that's the case, I'm assuming Jockey and his shit brain gang bought weapons from you.

Jerry: They were going to buy weapons from me. But instead of paying me what they owed me, they just gave a shit ton of counterfeits.

Asher: Sourdough...

Jerry: Yea. And when I went back to get the money they owed me, one of his goons hit me on the head, then started beating me. After that- uh. You showed up...

Asher: Huh, guess I didn't miss much.

Jerry: Not really.

Asher: But uhh... I gotta ask. Why didn't you fight back? I mean you look like you could have taken them.

Jerry: I could have...

[Jerry then grabs the metal he was just hitting from off of the anvil and tosses it onto a workbench beside him.]

Jerry: But I didn't.

Asher: Why?

Jerry: Eh. Wasn't feeling it.

[Asher looks at Jerry confused.]

Asher: So, let me get this straight... You didn't fight back because you... Didn't feel like it?

Jerry: Exactamundo.

Asher: I mean this in the nicest way possible to you, my friend. That's fucking stupid.

Jerry: Not really the insult I was expecting, but uhh... Well... You see... The thing is...

[Jerry looks around the workshop suspiciously. He then looks at Asher and suspiciously waves him over. Asher raises an eyebrow in confusion, he walks over to Jerry. Jerry kneels down, so he can get to Asher's level, and looks Asher straight in the eyes. He whispers to him.]

Jerry: (Whispering) I don't care.

[He then flicks Asher on the forehead and stands back up. Asher stands there a bit confused and takes a few steps back so he can look at Jerry.]

Asher: Really? That's your excuse?

Jerry: Yep.

Asher: You're not pissed at them or anything?

Jerry: Of course I am...

[Jerry grabs the hammer he was using and places it onto his belt. He then begins to shove aside the cluttered up tools on the workbench. He looks at Asher over his shoulder.]

Jerry: I'm just choosing not to do anything about it.

Asher: Well obviously you're still here! But what I don't get is why?!

Jerry: *Groan* I don't fucking know! Because Jockey's an asshole I guess and I don't feel like having to put up with his shit?

[Jerry turns around and faces Asher, he leans against the workbench behind him.]

Jerry: I don't know... I guess I'd rather not make enemies with potential customers or demons that are in literal murder distance from me...

Asher: Well... I guess that makes sense, we are in Pentagram City... But don't you want to stand up for yourself?

Jerry: Not interested. I'm only interested in whatever makes me money and keeps me alive.

Asher: I- *Sigh* Yea... It's not like staying alive down here is easy. I always need to keep my eyes open because ya never know if- *Pain* FUCK!

[Asher covers his mouth up in pain. Jerry raises an eyebrow confused on why Asher just yelled.]

Jerry: What the hell was that for?

Asher: Awww... Fucking hell... My mouth hurts like hell... You got a mirror nearby?

[Jerry looks around.]

Jerry: Uhh... Yea.

[Jerry grabs a cracked mirror beside him on the workbench. He walks over to Asher and hands him the cracked mirror.]

Jerry: Here.

Asher: Thanks.

[Asher takes the cracked mirror and looks into it. He opens his mouth and pulls his lips around so he can see inside his mouth.]

Asher: Gahh... Goddamnit...

Jerry: What?

Asher: One of my teeth got knocked out...

[Asher closes his mouth and lifts the mirror aside onto another workbench.]

Asher: Probably when I got hit on the head yesterday... Or whenever you carried me here.

Jerry: That was six hours ago. So-

[Jerry walks over to a workbench that has a bunch of labeled cans on it. He looks at all the can.]

Jerry: Which tooth is it?

[Jerry picks up one of the cans from the workbench and looks at the contents of it. He swirls it around a bit.]

Asher: Uhh... I think it's my top right pointy one. Fuck... I can't fix this, I don't have dental! I don't even have a job!

Jerry: Hmmm...

[Jerry pours the contents of the can onto his hand and looks at it, the contents seem to be some small metal objects. Really small objects. He looks through them carefully before placing them all back into the can except for one. He then reaches over and grabs a bottle and a pair of pliers from the workbench. He walks over to Asher who is looking at him confused.]

Jerry: Take a seat.

Asher: What?

Jerry: Just sit down.

[Asher steps on a wooden crate and sits down on one of the elevated workbenches. Jerry hands Asher the bottle, he takes it and looks at it.]

Jerry: Drink this, it'll hurt less.

Asher: What will hurt less?

Jerry: This.

[Jerry holds up the pair of pliers showing Asher a small metal object clamped in the middle, the object looks like a tooth.]

Asher: Is- Is that a tooth?

Jerry: Yes, it is. Now knock back this booze or this is about to hurt like a mother fucker.

[Jerry holds the pliers clamping the tooth in front of Asher. Asher looks at the bottle Jerry gave him questionably, he then lets out a sigh before raising it in the air.]

Asher: To my health!

Jerry: Don't jinx yourself...

[Asher downs the contents of the bottle quickly. He removes the bottle from his mouth and shakes his head with a smirk.]

Asher: *Chuckles* Fuck that's strong...

Jerry: Open wiiiide.

[Asher takes a deep breath as Jerry bends down and looks in his mouth, he squints his eyes and looks closely. He inserted the pliers into Asher's mouth close to where he lost his tooth.]

Jerry: Ready?

Asher: (Unintelligible) No, not really...

Jerry: Alright... One... Two...

[Jerry quickly grabs Asher's head and forces the tooth to where he lost his.]

Asher: UGHA! FUCK!

Jerry: Three.

[Jerry lets go of Asher and pulls away from him having successfully forced the tooth back into the empty spot in his mouth. He stands up and tosses the pliers onto a table next to him. Asher is grabbing his mouth in pain and is bent down a bit. Jerry is smirking a little bit.]

Jerry: There ya go!

Asher: OH GOD IT HURTS!!! FUCK IT HURTS!!!

Jerry: Stop whining, it can't be as bad as your fucked up face and ribs.

[Asher rubs his jaw in pain. He looks at Jerry a bit annoyed.]

Asher: Ugh... Sure, but it hurts like hell...

Jerry: How's it look?

[Asher grabs the broken mirror Jerry gave him earlier and looks at it. He's got all his teeth back thankfully, but his top right canine tooth looks a bit off. It looks like a normal tooth but it's got an odd color to it.]

Asher: Huh... Looks a bit off, but besides the color...

[Asher looks at Jerry and nods.]

Asher: Not bad... Not bad at all...

Jerry: Told ya it wasn't gonna be bad.

[Asher waves in front of Jerry.]

Asher: Yea, yea... Ya know... If this whole blacksmithing thing doesn't work out for ya, you could probably become a decent dentist.

[Jerry looks at Asher with a bland expression.]

Jerry: Never.

Asher: Alright, I'm just saying!

[Asher tosses the mirror on the workbench he's sitting on. Jerry walks over to a table with some bottles on it and takes off his leather apron, he tosses the apron onto a chair. He's got a dirty white dress shirt on underneath. He then reaches up and stretches his arms before cracking his neck. He grabs one of the many bottles on the table, a large one, which seems to be filled with alcohol of some kind. He takes a swig from it.]

Jerry: Mhm. That tooth I gave ya is made of that Exterminator Metal. It's a little bit more bark to your bite. Or... Bite to your bark, I don't fucking know...

[Asher raises an eyebrow confused.]

Asher: Extermi- What the fuck is Exterminator Metal?

[Jerry looks over to Asher like he's crazy.]

Jerry: What the fuck are you talking about?

Asher: What? What do you mean?

Jerry: Do- Do you not know what the Exterminators are?

Asher: No.

[Jerry rubs his brow with his free hand.]

Jerry: How dumb are yo- Ohhhh...

[Jerry looks at Asher and places the bottle of booze down on the table next to him.]

Jerry: You died, didn't you?

Asher: Uhmm, yea? Didn't everyone?

Jerry: No, not everyone, like me. I'm an Imp, I was born and raised in Hell.

Asher: Really? So not everyone down here died at some point?

Jerry: Pretty much.

[Jerry walks over to a large wooden crate and lifts the cover off, tossing it aside. He rummages through the contents of the crate.]

Asher: Huh... Interesting...

[Jerry picks up the contents of the crate which seems to be a bunch of spears, he carries them over to a workbench and drops them on it carelessly. He walks over to the large smelter forge in his workshop and begins to fiddle with some knobs and letters.]

Asher: So... Do you work here all by yourself or do you have an apprentice or something?

Jerry: Just me.

Asher: And... You're ok with that?

Jerry: I like to keep to myself.

[Dials on the smelter light up and come to life as it begins to heat up. Jerry then walks over to the workbench with the spears on it and picks one of them up, he starts inspecting it.]

Jerry: Why don't you go rest a bit more. You got your ass handed to you pretty bad back there. Not to mention the shape you were in before you helped me out...

[He continues to inspect the spear for a bit before placing it back on the workbench and grabbing another. After looking at the new spear for a second he tosses it into a bin next to him and grabs another. Asher watches as Jerry does his thing. He looks around the workshop once again, he still seems surprised at how big the room is, it's probably because Jerry is tall and needs really high ceilings so he can stand. After looking around and watching for a while he looks at Jerry and speaks up.]

Asher: Why the hell are you being so nice to me?

[Jerry stops inspecting the spears and looks over to Asher, it takes him a bit but he finally responds.]

Jerry: Well... You helped me out yesterday. Considering that Jockey probably wants you dead more than ever now and that you were already half dead when I found you, I thought I'd return the favor and help you out.

Asher: What? I just stopped them from kicking you is all.

Jerry: It's still nice to help someone out who needs it. (Muttering) Without a catch of some sort...

Asher: Really? Down here in hell?

Jerry: Guess so. It's hard to find a decent person down here, especially in Pentagram City...

[Jerry looks back at the workbench and goes back to what he was doing.]

Asher: Well...

[Asher rubs the back of his head a bit embarrassed.]

Asher: Thanks for helping me out I guess...

[The two stay quiet for a minute before Asher breaks the silence.]

Asher: Welp!

[Asher pats his legs and hops off the workbench.]

Asher: But I uh... I better get going...

[Asher turns around and begins to walk towards the metal door he entered through in the workshop.]

Jerry: Go where?

Asher: Home.

Jerry: You mean that small tent you have in the forest?

[Asher immediately stops walking. He turns around and looks at Jerry, surprised he knew where he lived.]

Asher: How- How do you know that?

[Jerry shakes his head and turns around to face Asher.]

Jerry: Because your "home" is a hop, skip, and a jump next to mine. My workshop is in a cave right outside of Pentagram City, here nobody can intervene and fuck with my work. I've seen you limp to your tent like a wounded mutt more times than I can count in the past four months. And... Honestly...

[Jerry rubs the back of his head. He looks sorry for Asher.]

Jerry: It's actually kinda sad...

Asher: Well sorry for being dealt the wrong hand when getting down here...

[Asher puts his arms out.]

Asher: You think I chose to get my ass kicked every day and crawl back to a tent in the middle of a dying forest? No. I don't. I don't have a fucking choice, Jerry. I'm forced to live this life because down here in hell...

[Asher drops his hands to his side. He seems a bit upset.]

Asher: Down here I ain't got nothing...

[He shrugs and shakes his head.]

Asher: No money, no home, and no one to call my mates... Or at least no one who will kill me for just looking at them wrong. Do I deserve it? Well, I'm in hell for a reason...

[Asher droops his head down and lets out a long sigh. He looks back up at Jerry and gives him a half-assed salute.]

Asher: Thanks for the help... See ya around...

[He turns around and continues to walk back towards the metal door. As he starts to open it Jerry speaks up.]

Jerry: Ya know... You can stay here if you want.

[Asher stops opening the door and turns around to look at Jerry.]

Asher: Sorry pal, but I'm not really interested in your pity.

Jerry: It's not pity, it's common decency. Just because you're in hell doesn't mean everyone's an asshole. (Muttering) Though 90 percent of them are...

[Asher lets go of the door and faces towards Jerry, he puts his hands out in front of him.]

Asher: *Sigh* Thanks for the offer but you've already done enough for me... Plus, I have nothing to give you in return.

Jerry: I have a spare room, you can stay there and do whatever I tell ya without complaints. Do chores like cleaning the place... Help me move shit around... Give me and with all the orders that come through...

[Jerry stops inspecting the spears and drops them onto the workbench in front of him. He walks over to the door where Asher is standing.]

Jerry: So? How bout it?

[Jerry crouches down so that his eye level with Asher, he puts his large hand out for Asher to shake. Asher looks at Jerry and looks around the room once more.]

Asher: You're not gonna kill me or do something worse to me when I'm sleeping? Right?

Jerry: As long as you don't stab me in the back. No, I don't plan to.

[Asher chuckles and reaches out to shake Jerry's hand.]

Asher: *Chuckles* I have a good feeling that this is going to be the beginning of a very interesting friendship.

Jerry: I was thinking the same damn thing.

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