M A D E L I N E
"Cheese or barbecue?"
"Ah, eh... cheese po," ani Christian. "Ay, barbecue na lang pala."
"Haha." Tumawa si Darwin at saka humarap sa babae na nagtitinda ng popcorn. "A bucket of each, please."
Abot-tenga ang ngiti ni Christian nang iabot sa kaniya ni Darwin ang dalawang bucket ng popcorn — isang cheese, at isang barbecue.
"Ikaw, anong gusto mo?" tanong ni Darwin sa akin. "Nachos? Hotdogs? Shawarma? Fries?"
Kagagaling ko lang sa school nang dumiretso ako rito sa mall para makipagkita sa kanila. Nainggit kasi ako na gumagala silang dalawa nang hindi ako kasama.
"Ikaw," biro ko.
"Sige, mamaya."
"Joke lang. Kadiri ka."
Tumawa lang siya at tumalikod sa akin habang nakaakbay kay Christian. "Akala mo naman talaga, papatulan kita."
"Huh!" Napairap na lang ako sa sinagot niya. "Parang dehado ka pa, ah!"
Hindi siya sumagot at magkasabay lang silang naglakad ni Christian papasok sa sinehan.
"Feelingerong 'to. Baka nga hindi ka pa nagkaka-girlfriend diyan," pang-aasar ko. "Wala ka pang first kiss, 'no? Virgin ka pa?"
Humarap siya sa akin na nakataas ang isang kilay at nakangisi. "Why are you asking?"
Oo nga naman. Bakit ba ako nagtatanong?
"Bakit, bawal ba?" sagot ko. "Akala ko, friends na tayo."
"Your friendship request is still pending approval," masungit na sagot niya. "Besides, friends don't ask friends if they're virgins."
"Luh? Ang KJ naman. Ano bang klaseng mga kaibigan mayro'n ka?" tanong ko.
"Decent ones who know how to respect boundaries."
"Excuse me! Respectful kami ng mga kaibigan ko, 'no—"
"Shhh." Suway niya. "May respectful bang sumisigaw sa loob ng sinehan?"
Nagtinginan sa amin ang ilang mga tao na nakaupo sa unahan namin. Inirapan ko na lang sila at hindi na nagsalita pa. Mahirap na, baka masabihan na naman akong disrespectful.
"Pukinangina mong hayop ka!"
Hindi ako na-inform na horror pala 'tong papanoorin namin.
Nagtawanan ang mga tao sa harap namin, at gano'n din sina Christian at Darwin na nakaupo sa kaliwa ko.
"Matatakutin ka, Ate." Tawa ni Christian na naninilaw na ang ngipin sa kakangata ng popcorn.
Hindi ako nagsalita at pumikit na lang habang tinatakpan ang magkabilang tenga ko. Malamig naman sa sinehan pero pinagpapawisan ako ng malagkit.
"Palit kayo." Narinig kong bulong ni Darwin. "Siya na lang sa gitna. Kapag naihi 'yan, baka tayo pa ang maglampaso."
"Hahahaha. Sige po, Kuya."
Gano'n na nga ang nangyari at nagpalit kami ng puwesto ni Christian. Imbes tuloy na siya ang nasa gitna ay ako na ang napagitnaan nilang dalawa.
"Para kang bata." Tawa ni Darwin.
"Bakit kasi hindi mo sinabi na horror pala, 'to?!" bulyaw ko sa kaniya.
"Hindi mo pa ba halata sa title?" tanong niya. "The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It. Anong tingin mong ginagawa ng devil, pastillas?"
Hanggang sa matapos ang palabas ay nakapikit lang ako at nag-iisip ng masasayang mga bagay. Ayaw na ayaw ko talaga na nanonood ng horror. Gano'n din si Denver, kaya sa tuwing nagde-date kami noon ay puro comedy o kaya ay romance lang ang pinapanood namin.
Matapos makalabas ng sine ay bumili muna si Darwin ng dalawang bucket ng Chickenjoy para ipasalubong sa pamilya ni Christian, tapos ay umuwi na rin kami dahil gabi na.
"Alam mo ba, sabi niya sa akin, love niya pa raw ako pero hindi na niya ako like," kuwento ko kay Darwin nang maihatid na namin si Christian sa bahay nila at kami na lang dalawa ang sakay ng kotse niya.
"I assume you're talking about my brother."
"Who else?"
"I don't know... Von?"
"How do you know Von?"
Nagkibit-balikat lang siya at hindi 'yon sinagot. "What else did Patrick say?"
"Hmmm." Nagbukas ako ng chewing gum mula sa compartment niya at saka isinubo 'yon habang nagkukuwento. "Ayun nga. Sabi niya, he still loves me but he just doesn't like me anymore," saad ko. "Hindi ko gets."
Tumikhim si Darwin at tila malalim na nag-isip bago sumagot sa akin makalipas ang ilang segundo.
"Von was Denver's friend."
"And?"
"And my mom... was Claire's friend."
I paused. It took me a minute to understand what he meant, but I was left feeling ashamed of myself when I finally did.
All this time, hindi ko alam na dati palang magkaibigan ang nanay ni Darwin at si Tita Claire. Akala ko kasi ay kung sinong kabit na lang ang nanay ni Darwin na pumatol na lang basta kay Tito Delfin dahil sa pera nito.
"What you did to Patrick was basically what our dad did to Claire," ani Darwin. "And I'm sure you know how much he loathes the guy."
"But... it's not the same!" I retorted. "Tito Delfin was married to Tita Claire. Denver and I weren't. Saka break kami no'n! He shouldn't take that against me."
Darwin nodded his head. "Yes, he shouldn't," pagsang-ayon niya. "But what if he was the one who fooled around with your friend after your break-up? How would you feel about it?"
For a second, I imagined Denver doing it with Pat. I know that won't happen, but just the thought of seeing them naked together makes me want to jump in front of a bullet train and die.
"I still don't understand," I complained. "How can he love me... but not like me? Is that even possible?"
"I love my mom," mabilis na sagot ni Darwin. "But I don't like her."
I looked at him, craving for an explanation.
"Sometimes, people do things that hurt us," he whispered. "It doesn't make us love them any less... it just makes us realize that we're better off without them."
I was struggling for words. It all makes sense, but it still doesn't. I have never been more bemused.
"So... he's better off without me?"
"I don't know," Darwin answered. "But he sure as hell thinks so."
"What do you think?" I asked.
He didn't answer right away, but when he did, I was left feeling even more confused than before.
"You both made mistakes. You both hurt each other. You both involved other people into your business. And you both need to grow up." Darwin isn't playing. "That's what I think."
It was close to 10 p.m. when he dropped me off in front of our house and left. I was so deep in thought, I failed to notice the black BMW parked out front.
When I finally did, Denver already started the car and was driving away.
What is he doing, waiting for me?
Did he see Darwin drop me off?
"D-Dhie!" I called out. I even checked the car's license plate number to confirm it was him. "Dhie, wait!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, but he was already too far away.
I don't know what happened and why he was here, but as I felt my heart weaken in my chest, I began to have a really strong feeling that he won't be coming back again.