Haseena puts Misha to sleep in Karishma's room upon Pushpa Ji's request around 7:30 PM and then she moves upstairs to get ready while glancing at Karishma who was sitting in the living room, dressed in an emerald green jumpsuit with golden earrings and was wearing red lipstick. She didn't have many accessories on except her apple watch and cat-eyed framed glasses. "She is looking elegant," She mumbled.
Karishma was waiting for Haseena in the car. "Why is she always late?" She murmured while looking at her watch which was showing 8:20 PM. She got distracted when she heard the knock on the glass shield and for some time she couldn't take her eyes off the new arrival. Haseena was wearing black sequin pants with a black turtleneck sweater and she had accessorized herself with silver jewelry. She had styled her hair in a ponytail and her stained lips were arousing her look. She gasped after looking at her and came out of her trance when Haseena knocked another time on the glass shield. She unlocked the door to let Haseena in.
"Were you spacing out on me?" Haseena asked as soon as she settled in, on her seat, and tied her seatbelt.
"No, I was thinking of something else," Karishma said while igniting the engine.
Haseena took out the gloves as she was extremely cold. "Can you please turn on the heat?" She requested.
"It's already on," Karishma said while making a turn. "You are looking mesmerizing, Haseena."
"Thank You!" She murmured and after clearing her throat she spoke, "You, yourself are looking quite exquisite."
Karishma looked at her surprisingly. "Are you praising me because I have praised you?" She said while peeking at her as she continued to concentrate on the road.
"No, I am not," Haseena said as she turned her head towards Karishma. "You are exquisite in many ways, Miss Singh."
"Please, elaborate!" Karishma said as she maintained her focus on the road.
"You are good with kids," Haseena said as she tried to overturn the conversation in her favor.
"No, I am not," Karishma denied her claim.
"You are good with Mishu," Haseena presented her argument.
"Because she is your daughter," Karishma countered her.
Haseena was quiet for a few moments. "You wouldn't have liked her if she wasn't my daughter?" She asked surprisingly.
"If she wasn't your daughter, I would have never met her in the first place," She said, "Second, I never used to like kids because they are snobbish and I don't have the patience to deal with them."
"Hmm..," Haseena muttered, "But you are patient with Mishu."
"It's different with her," Karishma answered.
"Why?" Haseena inquired.
"First, She is your daughter. Second, She is a very well-behaved kid. Third, I am starting to love her and in every interaction with her, my fondness is growing. Nonetheless, she is in the top priority of the list of the people that I care," Karishma said while turning her head this time.
"And who are the people on your priority list?" Haseena asked.
"Maa! You. and Misha," Karishma replied without any hesitation.
Haseena was quiet and she didn't say anything to her in return.
"And when we are talking about Misha, I have to make a request on her behalf," She spoke calmly.
"I'm listening," Haseena said as she continued to stare at the road.
"She wanted to get a haircut like me and I know you don't like the way my hair is styled. But she really wants to get a haircut like mine and if you allow her then she will let me call her Mishu. Would you please allow her," Karishma put forward her request and looked at her pleadingly.
"Her acceptance value that much to you, Miss Singh," Haseena asked surprisingly.
"Yes, her's and her mother's," Karishma said, "I'm willing to grow my hair in the future, so, Misha can grow her hair too. I know you like long hair."
Haseena just continued to stare at her for some time, then she spoke, "You don't have to grow your hair, this hairstyle suits you a lot—I like this on you very much." She paused for a brief moment, "And, about Misha! She can style her hair like you. It's just hair. It will grow."
"Really?" Karishma almost screamed in excitement.
A smile appeared on Haseena's face after looking at her like that.
"I didn't know that you would say yes so easily," Karishma said in a mixture of shock and surprise.
"Why?" She asked.
"No, sometimes you are very stubborn," Karishma said.
"True! But not in the matters, which gives happiness to the people I care," She said while turning her head towards the window.
Karishma looked at her astonishingly.
"And, just for your information, I work in your office and as per my sources, you could have taken, anyone, in the party. Because you have taken, other staff members to the party before too, you never made it mandatory for your PAs to come with you," Haseena said without looking back at her but in a bit annoyed tone.
"Okay! I accept I lied," She said while hitting the steering wheel, "But you wouldn't have come, otherwise," Karishma said in a defeated manner.
"Have you tried asking me?" Haseena said disappointingly. "I always like, when you ask or say things directly to me either it's hateful or affectionate."
Karishma didn't have any answers. "Why have you come if you knew?" She asked as she brought the car to a halt because they had arrived at the venue.
"For you!" Haseena said while getting out of the car.
"Why this change of heart all so sudden?" Karishma asked after parking the car and moving in her direction.
"First of all is not sudden, and, secondly, if I wouldn't have come then you would have gloated for the entire next week and make life living hell for everyone around you including me," She said as she wrapped her coat around her frame.
"I wouldn't have done that," Karishma disagreed.
"You would have, for sure," Haseena persisted.
"I wouldn't," Karishma disagreed once again.
"You would have," Haseena repeated.
"I would have," Karishma agreed as a wide grin appeared on her face. "You are getting used to me, aren't you?"
"Yes, I am," Haseena said as they entered the party hall.
It was quite a big gathering. As it was the first time for Haseena in such a gathering, she stayed close to Karishma who was making small talks with her colleagues about the recent changes in law and the political environment when a quite handsome man in his late forties approached and tapped on Karishma's shoulder.
"If you don't mind Miss Singh, may I steal your PA for one dance," Mr. Welsh asked as he put forward his hand towards Haseena.
Haseena looked at Karishma and she was denying through her eyes and before any of them could say anything, he pulled Haseena to a dimly lit dance floor.
"You are very beautiful," Mr. Welsh said as he slid his hand on Haseena's lower back while resting it on her buttock, he squeezed it as he pulled Haseena more into him and whispered in her ear, "I'll give you more benefits then Miss Singh if you apply for a job as PA in my firm."
Haseena felt a cold sweat breaking out through each and every pour of her body. On the other hand, Karishma was trying to look over the dance floor but Mr. Welsh's big frame covered Haseena, so all Karishma could see was Mr. Welsh's back. She started walking towards the dance floor and before she could reach there, someone pulled her hand and dragged her to the bathroom.
"I'm parched," Haseena said as she placed her hand over Mr. Welsh's hand, which was still resting on her buttock, and removed it gently---she didn't want to ruin the evening.
"Let me get you a drink," He said trying to be chivalrous.
"I'll help myself. Thank You!" Haseena moved towards the bar. However, he followed her up until the bar.
"What are you doing tonight?" He asked while sitting on one of the stools opposite Haseena.
She cleared her throat. "I think Miss Singh is calling me," Haseena lied as she hurriedly moved towards the bathroom to avoid him for the rest of the evening and as soon as she entered the bathroom, she saw there was one woman leaning on the other and they were kissing. "I'm sorry," Haseena said and she was about to move towards the bathroom stall when her eyes met Karishma's, who was pinned to the wall. After seeing her there, instead of using the bathroom, she walked outside and after collecting her coat from the front, she moved towards the lawn further away from the crowds of hypocrites. As she walked into the quietness, she could barely hear the loud music that was just ringing in her ear a few minutes back.
Karishma was following her but before she could approach Haseena, she saw Mr. Welsh grip Haseena's upper arm and pulled her in the corner as he was making an effort to kiss her. Karishma saw Haseena was struggling in his hold, so she made her speed faster and she was still a few steps away when she saw Haseena punch Mr. Welsh which almost knocked him out and as a result, he landed on the ground.
"I'll see you, you fucking bitch," He said while getting up from the ground and walking out from there.
"Fucking Bastard," Haseena murmured as she held her right hand in her left and pivoted it, to make sure, she didn't fracture it.
"Are you okay, Haseena?" Karishma asked as she placed both her hands on Haseena's shoulder and turned Haseena towards her, "It was a nice punch!" She exclaimed.
Haseena jerked off her hands and started walking towards the car.
"Look! It's not what it seems like," Karishma tried to explain the situation.
"You don't owe me any explanation, Miss Singh," Haseena said as she stopped next to the car.
"Can you please, unlock the car? I'll wait for you here until you are done with the party. I have enough of this party," She folded her hand over her chest and looked at her.
"We had a couple of one-night stands but we were never in a relationship. I was telling her that I am not interested in any of these flings anymore when you entered the bathroom," Karishma tried to explain it to her.
Haseena pretended as if she didn't hear anything. "Can you please unlock the car? It's very cold here," She said while facing her back towards Karishma.
"Please, try to understand, we were not doing anything," Karishma repeated herself once again as she stood in front of Haseena.
"But this says something else," Haseena said as she traced Karishma's lower lip to clean the smudged lipstick which was coming out from the corner of her lower lip.
Karishma was speechless.
Haseena looked into her eyes directly this time, " Now, when you have your answers, can you please open the door?" She repeated herself.
"I'm not going back to the party, we are going home," Karishma moved towards the driver's seat.
Haseena sat quietly in the car while resting her hands in her lap, she continued to look outside.
"It was quite a punch," Karishma tried to initiate the conversation, "I never knew you can punch like that."
"You don't know a lot of things about me, Miss Singh," She said as she continued to look outside.
"You shouldn't worry about him, he will be too embarrassed to take any action against you," Karishma tried to ease her.
"I'm not worried about him at all. He could do whatever he want. He is not the first one, I'm dealing with," Haseena replied curtly without looking back at Karishma.
Karishma went silent. She didn't know what to say. She was peeking at Haseena every now and then when her eyes landed on Haseena's hand, "You have bruised your hand," her voice carried concern.
"It will be fine. I'll put an ice pack on it," She said while still looking outside the window.
"I wasn't kissing her, she was kissing me," Karishma said in a low voice.
"I didn't ask for the details," Haseena replied gruffly.
"I haven't gone out with anyone since the time I have confessed my feelings to you," Karishma said as she started to give up.
Haseena pretended she didn't hear her.
"In the past one month, since your arrival, I haven't done any one-night stands. I tried but I couldn't. It's just whenever I go, I just can't continue. Your face appears in front of me and everything else loses its meaning, it doesn't matter how lucrative it is," She said dejectedly while making an effort to make her understand.
"As I said earlier you don't owe me any explanations, Miss Singh. You are free to do whatever you like," Haseena answered as she looked towards her this time.
"I owe you explanations, damn it," Karishma hit the steering wheel frustratingly, "You are the woman I love. You should know about my whereabouts."
None of them spoke for the rest of their journey. They reached home around 11:30 PM and after collecting Misha from Karishma's room, Haseena went upstairs.
___________________________
Haseena was sitting on the dining table, she had her bruised hand in the bowl which contained the ice-cold water, and in her other hand, she was holding a book as her feet rested on the chair opposite to her. As she saw Karishma approaching the living room from the corner of her eyes, she removed her feet from the chair to make room for her.
Karishma took a seat opposite to her and then looked at Haseena's hand. "Your hand must be numb by now." She said concerningly.
Haseena turned her book over the table and then looked at Karishma. "Sometimes to avoid the pain, you have to numb yourself." She said in an emotionless voice.
"In order to heal, you need to feel the pain," Karishma said as she took the towel from Haseena's shoulder and then she removed her hand from the water and started drying it.
Haseena didn't say anything to her in return or remove her hand from Karishma's hold. She continued to stare at Karishma as she felt the lump forming in her throat upon her care.
"You have never punched me when I came close to you," Karishma asked as she sandwiched Haseena's hand between her hands and started rubbing it to warm it up.
"First, You have never forced yourself on me and secondly, I never felt disgusted after being touched by you," Haseena said as she got up from the chair and pulled her hand from Karishma's hold. She held the bowl and started moving towards the washbasin.
Karishma took a mouthful of air, "I have been having erotic dreams about you since the time I have met you," She said as she got up from the chair and started moving towards Haseena, whose back was facing her. "There, I said it. I never wanted to tell you this because it's so embarrassing."
Haseena's steps halted midway. She didn't move after listening to those words.
"You are the only woman, I want to sleep with Haseena," Karishma said as she placed her head on Haseena's shoulder while standing behind her as she kept the distance of two to three inches between them. "There is no one else I desire, as much as I desire you," She continued to stare at the floor as her head was rested on Haseena's shoulder.
Haseena just stood there without saying a word. She couldn't bring herself to tell Karishma that she was jealous after seeing her with the other woman. She shouldn't be but she was and she was jealous to the core. She couldn't bring herself to tell Karishma that she appreciates her persistance and explaining herself, even though she shouldn't be, because they are not bound in any relationship. She couldn't bring herself to tell her that she admires Karishma's patience with her. She couldn't bring herself to tell her that she was thankful for Karishma to come upstairs and check on her. She couldn't bring herself to tell that she felt at ease when Karishma confessed that she only wanted her. She wanted to tell Karishma that she feels at home when Karishma is around her but she couldn't say any of those to her, nothing at all. She just kept rooting to her support, to shock to say anything. After some time, she felt Karishma drifting away from her.
"Night Haseena!" Karishma said as she started moving towards the stairs.
Only if Karishma had moved and come in front of Haseena then she would be able to see the tears were seeping through Haseena's eyes and that night, none of them were at peace.
______________________________
It was a day before Christmas, there was barely any work or follow-ups and due to that Karishma has decided to give everyone early leave today but not after Haseena's lunch. She wanted Haseena to go out for lunch so she could get a chance to read her journal. Today she has decided to keep the journal with her instead of putting it back in Haseen's handbag, so she can read it over the weekend as it is Friday today and she has two days to finish it.
She saw Haseena moving out for lunch and as soon as she moved out, Karishma almost ran towards her handbag. There was this awkward silence between them today after last night. Except for work, they didn't talk much. She took a deep breath and opened her journal.
Dear Friend,
It was Saturday today, a day off. I was relaxed and thought of inviting my landlords for lunch. Because you know it never seems to be okay just to take from people and never return anything. Last whole week Pushpa Ji has sent me the dinner plates because she knew it was our first week here and I didn't have many chances to shop and mostly didn't have anything to cook by the time I came home from work. And there she was, ever so gracious, ever so kind to send out dinners to me...so I just thought of having lunch with them, just to say thank you. Sometimes words do not suffice, someone's kind gesture towards you.
Okay! Enough of this. So, I was just cooking and there she was. It was her tenth time or more than that coming here and telling us to lower the volume of the TV. To tell you the truth, I myself can't hear the TV, I don't know how come she was able to hear it. I was a bit agitated at her actions and when I turned to answer her, she was talking to Pushpa Ji but she was staring at me. And when Pushpa Ji asked, "It is really the TV?" I saw a blush appear on her face and disappear at that very moment. She was an expert in hiding her emotions. I don't know why she is always in a foul mood because when Pushpa Ji asked her to stay for lunch she said, she wasn't invited but I clearly told Pushpa Ji that both of them were invited. Arrgggh...I can't be with this woman. Sometimes she just acts like a snob. Anyhow I ended up going downstairs to call her, otherwise, Pushpa Ji has to go and make a separate lunch for her and I really don't want her to go and do that.
I knocked on her door. She was just sitting on her bed. I saw her lips curve into a smile and then go back to the straight line. She said she is okay with me disturbing her personal space. Haann? What? I don't know where she is coming from. Even Though if she is okay then I am not okay with just walking into her room. So, I was just turning after inviting her for lunch when she just pulled me into the room and pinned me to the wall. In addition to that, she was saying that I have an attitude. Can someone please tell her that she has more than me? I agree that I am not a saint but she also gives me an equal fight. Sometimes, I think we have met to get on each other's nerves. Nonetheless, I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible because I saw her inching closer. The proximity with her rattles my mind whenever I come in contact with her as she leaned over me, I lost my mind and as a result, I heard myself saying to her that I am not her type. Who says that? Where was I going with this conversation? And she asked me with a big grin on her face, How do I know what her type is? I just ran from there....because I didn't have any answers. Instead of this bizarre conversation, I thought she might get upset with me not inviting her personally but this conversation was something else. Could you believe that she came....on my one call...she just came. I was expecting to have to go down to make another request but when she just followed me quietly, I was surprised.
During our whole lunch, she was peeking at me with her unrestricted gaze. I felt my whole body heating up just because of her stare. I can't tell you it was such a strange feeling. She ate the food silently without commenting on anything. I didn't know if she liked it or disliked it. Anyhow, when I made tea for all three of us, I got to know from Pushpa Ji that she never liked tea but she had tea with me a few days back without any refusal and she still had a teacup in her hand. I looked at her face which was turning crimson, probably being caught just so openly but if she have refused the tea, I would have made coffee for her but she never did. However, when Pushpa Ji persisted, she got up and moved towards Mishu.
You have no idea how surprised I was looking at her with Mishu. Moreover, Mishu, who is very choosy with people didn't say anything to her when she sat beside her. Mishu doesn't get along with people that easily but she was okay with Miss Singh around her. In addition to that, she was showing her something in her coloring book and Miss Singh was sitting next to her, listening to her patiently and very carefully. At the moment, she didn't look like a snob at all. I won't deny that I was utterly shocked and surprised at their interaction and the slightest bit of jealous that Mishu has found someone other than me. But I got distracted by Pushpa Ji who was informing me about her special someone. She has been seeing him for the past few months and now they have decided to tie a knot, so she wants me to meet him. I was excited and happy for her but she was nervous because she hasn't told Miss Singh about him and she was really dreading her reaction.
As I have told you earlier, I'm their favorite topic. So, when I went downstairs to give them the food, I heard Miss Singh saying, "She doesn't like me and even if I'm the last person on this planet, her view won't change about me." What have I done to her? It was so upsetting to me. Has she made an opinion about me being divorced? Aur she thinks I am a slacker who gets off easily in life because of my friendly nature. Argh! Why am I thinking about her opinion? Who cares what she thinks? She can dislike me or hate me all she wants. It's just a two years lease I have with Pushpa Ji, I'll be out of her sight and out of her mind too and she won't even remember that she has ever met me.
Look at me, I'm yawning and it's 11:00 at night. Let me go to bed because I have to go to meet Pushpa's Ji special someone.
Night!
Love,
Haseena.
Karishma looked at the clock. There was still time in Haseena's arrival. So, she thought of reading another entry.
Dear Friend,
I'm a bit tired today, I don't know how far I will go with this entry. Let me just keep it short. So, my day started with me and Mishu having breakfast and then I went downstairs as I had planned with Pushpa Ji.
When we were about to leave, Mishu's request to stay with Miss Singh surprised me. Moreover, she was calling Miss Singh by her first name. When I rebuked her, Miss Singh intervened. I didn't like her interference at all. As per Miss Singh, she is fine with Mishu calling her by her first name and she was also fine with her staying at home with her. I was unsure if she would be able to watch over her properly. But she seemed pretty sure, so I just said yes unwillingly because my Mishu had asked me in such an adorable manner that I couldn't refuse her. So, after bidding them goodbye, we came out of the house.
Pushpa Ji and I had a very eventful day. She showed me all the best places for the groceries and I met Mr. Onkar Singh. He seemed decent to me, very well behaved and well educated. Moreover, both of them look good together too. I was happy for Pushpa Ji and I was glad that she was able to find happiness with someone who understands her and cares for her. We came home late in the afternoon and what I saw amazes me. Mishu was sitting on the dining table and Miss Singh was sitting on the chair opposite to her and they were having their little party. After seeing us, they stopped whatever they were doing. I wanted to smile at their actions but I couldn't bring myself to smile. A person who doesn't like me and doesn't want to do anything with me was making an effort to bond with my daughter-----It's just confusing. At the end of the day, she is my daughter and she will have a lot of similarities with me. I just couldn't digest it. I saw her looking at me from the corner of her eyes, I don't know what she wanted. At times she acts so timid around me that my reactions matters to her, and there are times when she makes me nervous with her actions, and there are times when she just never leaves a chance to show her dislike towards me. What have I got myself into?
When I was reading a book to Mishu, she couldn't stop talking about Miss Singh. It seems like Miss Singh has done some magic on her. She was impressed by her books, her study, her chair, and how cool she looks. Mishu wanted to be a lawyer just after staying one day with Miss Singh. Imagine my horror, my kid wants to be like a person who hated her mother to the core. I don't have any qualms about Mishu being a lawyer, it's just she wanted to be like Miss Singh and I don't want my Mishu to be like her at all. That's it.
Have I told you, everyone around me calls Miss Singh by her first name? All the staff members in the office, her driver, now even Mishu. I'm the only one who is not allowed to call her by her first name, I guess she dislikes me that much. She is fair with everyone from her staff members to her driver, she is polite, kind, and understanding but when it comes to me, I don't know what happens to her. She just flips. The other day, one of our staff members arrived twenty minutes late and she just let it slide and when I was five minutes late for that too obvious reason, she was all over me. Sometimes, I feel like she gets a kick out of bothering me or embarrassing me, or dominating me. But, Why?
You have no idea how many whys I have about this woman whom I have just met a week ago and she is already all over in my journal.
Argh! I hate myself writing about her so much.
Anyhow, I'm going to bed and will meet you tomorrow.
Night!
Love,
Haseena.
Karishma closed the journal and put it in her handbag. Haseena arrived five minutes late with Misha and as soon as they entered, she ran towards Karishma.
"Do you know Krish, my winter break is starting from today and I am so excited," Misha said as she stood beside Karishma and whispered something in her ear.
"Yes, I have spoken to your mother and she has agreed to your haircut," Karishma said loudly to gain Haseena's attention. "I have made an appointment with Salon, so we will be going there on Monday."
"Yay! See I told you, she will listen to you. She always listens to you," Misha said in excitement as she moved towards Haseena to hug her.
"We are closing the office early today because of Christmas Eve. All the staff members are leaving, so you and Misha can come with me," She said while looking at her and hoping for a positive answer.
"Okay!" She replied while looking at her computer screen. "Let me just finish this."
Karishma was surprised. She just said yes so easily without any rebuttal. "She amazes me sometimes," She muttered under her breath.
All three of them left the office around 2:45 PM. Misha was sitting in the back and was playing a game, however, Haseena was sitting in the front beside Karishma.
"Are you coming to dinner tonight?" Karishma asked.
"Yes, I am," Haseena responded. "Pushpa Ji has informed me about it."
"Good." She said.
Then for the rest of their journey, neither of them didn't speak, only Misha's giggles echoed in the car.