Sanyu's body was built of nightmare material. Every inch of him held a scar that held a memory. A violent memory.
Not only had he earned every scratch and stab wound, he deserved them. For everything he had done since he got his powers-he deserved to hurt. He deserved to live in this mutilated body.
Of course he had good memories too. Everyone did, whether they were big or small. Sanyu didn't remember a lot of his childhood. The memories were tainted after the accident, or maybe after the three week coma that followed.
But he had good memories from after his powers too. Jackson's place in New York, a random field in Zimbabwe that he, Lela and Clementine spent an hour or so playing around in before a helicopter came to collect them, receiving several medals of honor and sacrifice after their 5th code purple when he nearly died. All good memories.
But those weren't the ones he dreamed of. The ones he dreamed of were ugly, dirty and loud. So loud.
"San, it's really bad this time.". No. Not her. She was gone. He didn't want to see her. Not like this. Not now.
"San!". He flinched and his eyes flew open, landing on the face of a ghost. "If we can't stop this earth will never be the same. It'll be like a nuclear winter but worse. We have to stop it." Lela said, her voice serious.
"How did we let it get this bad?" Whisp, one of the original members of the Six, thought aloud. Jackson, the other remaining original, put a hand on her shoulder. She looked on the verge of crying. It made sense, really. She had been one of the members to raid the base. To end the villains only to discover they were too late and their missile was already enroot to earth and would arrive within 14 hours.
"We failed." He said, his eyes hollow and tone harsh. "You can't always win. It was bound to happen.".
"Bound to happen?!" Tao echoed, outraged. "You meant to tell me you're going to accept defeat? Your going to let them send their world ending bomb wherever they want all because you lost one fight in Siberia? That's it?".
"Why are you so angry?" Clementine asked. Tao looked at her like she was crazy. "They're going to kill us." He said, "I saw it. If we can't protect them against this bomb they'll neutralize us all. We won't be able to stop it.".
Sanyu hated watching them fight. He hated it more than anything. These days he hates seeing them at all. He wanted to remember them, wanted to see them again but not like this. Not fighting. Not broken. Not after knowing what was about to happen.
He was sitting on the couch, just like he had in real life. He was wrapped in a blanket and had just woken up from a nap. His jacket was hung by the bunker's door, dog tags glittering under the candle light.
He swore he saw someone else in the bunker, standing in the shadows. But when he focused on it they disappeared.
Suddenly, the bunker shook. He heard the screech of metal against metal and the clang of pots falling from the ceiling.
This was how the nightmare always went.
In real life this had never happened. The government hadn't tried anything until much later but in the nightmare it was always the same.
He was glued to the couch as people broke down the door, watching with wide eyes as they put a bullet through the skull everyone but him. They screamed, cried. The blanket was soaked with Clementine's blood as she attempted to stop them from reaching him.
And he was powerless to stop it, so he just screamed.
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"Go right ahead, tell me everything." Keigo said, spinning in his office chair a little. He could hear Inue chuckle a little over the phone. The guidance counselor had called and asked if they could talk for a bit about Sanyu and Keigo was all ears. They needed to be on the same page to make sure his treatment was as effective as possible.
"Oyama's showing a lot of improvement." Inue began, "He relies on a lot of pre-thought-out responses so one of our big goals will be getting him to think about what he wants to say, not what the 'appropriate response' is. I think treating him like a 15 year old and not like he's older will be paramount in this. Of course he needs accommodations, we can't just pretend he's a normal kid, but he needs to be reminded that he's in a different environment now. If we start reminding him of his old environment he might retreat further into the 'programming'.".
Keigo nodded along. "Which leads me to what I really need to talk to you about." Inue said, sounding surprisingly reluctant to actually talk about it.
"What is it?" The hero asked, furrowing his brow. Something about this sounded really bad.
"Orders." Inue said, "He's going to start looking to everyone around him for orders. You see it a lot in former military, not so much with pro heroes but it happens. Oyama had no control over his life before, he's used to being ordered around. Now that he's not he's going to look to anyone he sees as an authority figure for orders.".
Keigo realized abruptly that it was already happening. He asked Keigo for permission to do everything, even to do chores. Fuck. "I think I've seen that already. Around the house." The hero said. Inue inhaled slowly and calmly.
"That's okay." Inue assured him, "It's just small things. Those can actually help him transition to normal life.".
"My concern is that if none of the trustworthy adults in his life will order him around he'll turn to anyone for orders. And-I don't want to worry you too much-but children who have gone through this type of obedience training are at higher risk for a lot of things.".
"Like what?" Keigo asked. He had gone through 'obedience training' as a kid. The commission had put obedience to them above all else. He should already know the risks.
"They feel comfortable when they're not in control, its more familiar. So they seek out people who want to control them." Inue explained, "Because of this they're at higher risk for emotional, physical and sexual abuse.".
Hawks felt like he was going to throw up. "I will never," He gritted out between clenched teeth, "ever let someone like that near him.".
"I'm not sayin you will." Inue said, "God knows you're strong enough to keep him safe. U.A is too. But as his guardian you need to be aware of this stuff.".
"Okay." Keigo said, more to himself than to Inue. "Okay.".
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So...the field trip sure was something.
Sanyu knew something was going to go wrong the moment he smelled the salt water. The facility they were using had a whole indoor fake ocean complete with plants, fish and semi-realistic water depths.
It was apparently on the list of the deepest 'pools' in the world. It also had a fake helicopter that ran along a track attached to the ceiling. At the moment it was on a fake helicopter pad right next to the entrance. Parked, Sanyu supposed.
"For today's activity we will be using those lifeguarding and water rescue skills." Mr. Aizawa explained. All Might was arriving later as he was busy with hero work. "You'll go up in groups of three and be lowered down by the helicopter simulation on a rope ladder. Your goal is to save the boat's five passengers, who are volunteers from the Help Us Company, before it sinks. You have 10 minutes.".
10 minutes seemed generous to Sanyu. He had never done coast guard type stuff before, but he had been on boats like that while they sank. Well, only once but he sure as hell didn't have 10 minutes.
"Everyone head to the locker rooms to suit up. Be careful what parts of your hero costumes you put on. Water damage is a real thing, so is drowning. Don't weigh yourself down and leave room for a life jacket." Mr. Aizawa said.
"Yes sir!" The class chirped, grabbing the U.A provided suitcases their hero outfits had been packed into. Sanyu gripped the handle of his so hard his knuckles were white.
"Hey, Oyama, is your leg waterproof?" Kirishima asked as they made their way to the boy's changing room. Sanyu nodded.
"It's attached to me, it has to be." He answered simply. The red haired boy just nodded and smiled. "Wanna be on my team? Having someone who can fly might balance out the fact my quirk isn't suited to this at all." He offered.
"Alright." Oyama said, "Who else are you going to ask?". Kirishima thought about it for a second.
"How about Mina? I'm willing to bet the ropes on that ship are all out of wack. Having someone who can dissolve them will be useful." He said. Sanyu nodded right as they entered the room.
He made quick work of changing into his suit. It seemed like lots of the hero students had to abandon parts of their costumes. Some shirts and pants had to be discarded. Sanyu wondered what the point of having a outfit that was put out of commission by rain. But then again they probably didn't design these with natural disasters in mind like the tech company that made his suit did.
His eyes lingered on the coat. He couldn't take it with him, it would weigh him down. But he also didn't think he could do this without the dog tag.
The water...it just reminded him of the last code purple. Him, alone over the ocean searching for that missile because no one else was strong enough.
The world must be messing with him, giving him a nightmare from that night right before he jumped into that water.
So he pulled the chains that attached to the dog tags out of the front pocket and looped the chains through them. He wrapped them both around his neck, clipping it in so tight they were chokers instead of necklaces.
The pressure was...comforting. Grounding in a way.
"Dude, are you gonna be okay wearing those like that? Wouldn't you rather leave them here?" Kirishima asked.
"It's fine." Sanyu said, probably a bit too firmly.
It was fine.
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*slaps protagonist* this baby can fit so much trauma in him
I promise I'll give a more in depth explanation to everything that happens in the nightmare in part 2 which should be up in a couple hours
(I don't sleep. Like ever. I'm not a morning or night person I'm just not a person)
Disregarding the clear cry for help I hope you're all enjoying the fic!
Putting the symbolism of Sanyu literally choking himself with the past by turning the dog tags from keychains into choker necklaces is somewhere between really sad and baddass to me. IDK why it just is.
Anyways Stay Tuned!