love, your sweet p

By jwedek5352

2.9K 92 36

***MATURE WARNING*** Name: Pressley Isabella Hosbach Age: 12 Live: New York City, New York/Florham Park, New... More

⚠️Caution (PLEASE READ)⚠️
prologue
i'm so sorry.
i know how much it must hurt to read this.
it wasn't the show.
i've been suffering for a while now,
ever since the car accident.
i know how much you loved me,
but i still felt unworthy of it.
i know how much worth i had to you,
but i still felt worthless.
i know i could have talked to you,
that you might have helped me,
but i needed to take care of it on my own.
i felt alone,
like i was in a dark room,
and it was locked.
this was the only way
i could get out
and finally be happy.
i forgot what that feels like,
to be happy.
i didn't want to do anything,
not even dance.
i just stopped caring.
if i ever hurt you in any way,
i'm sorry.
if i made a mistake in any way,
i'm sorry.
i deserved any bullying.
i deserved all the hate.
i can't do this anymore.
i love you guys so much,
but i couldn't love myself.
it was tiring,
being happy all the time,
when i would cry myself to sleep.
every. single. night.
i wish it didn't come to this,
but i needed to end the pain.
i needed to do it so i could be happy again.
this isn't goodbye.
i'll always be your baby.
i'll always be your best friend.
i'm not gone.
i was misplaced,
a mistake.
i'll be watching over you,
forever and always.
again,
i'm sorry.
love, your sweet p
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 11
Day 12
Day 13
Day 18
Day 19
Day 20 (FINALE)

dear mommy and tallie,

209 3 4
By jwedek5352

January 30, 2019

Dear Diary,

     Today was the first day! I haven't been to the ALDC since I auditioned when I was, like, 8. It's changed so much! I saw everybody again! It feels weird not having a bunch of other kids. Kamryn wasn't there either. I wonder if she canceled at the last minute. Who would do that?

     We had to bring headshots that are going to be hung up on the mirror. Mine's so cute! We also didn't have pyramid today. I'm relieved. I would have been on the bottom. In the audition, I didn't know any of the terminology and my feet were awful. LOL.

     Abby also took away Lilly's jacket to show that nobody has a permanent spot on the team. She worked hard for that, but we're all on a fresh start! Anyway, we're going to Red Bank, New Jersey and I got a trio this week. It's called The Favorite. It's with Lilly as the lead, and Sarah as the other one. Stacey didn't seem happy that Lilly had acro again, but that's her specialty.

     I'm not the best at acro. Sure, I can do a front aerial walkover, but my back flexibility isn't exactly popping off. The group dance is called Broken Hearts. Brady's the lead. He broke all of our hearts and our dresses are going to bleed. How is Mom going to do that?

     The group dance is contemporary, which is better, even though I'm more hip-hop, which is what the ALDC is NOT famous for. Only Mackenzie could pull that off. It's a dark contemporary, and the song is awesome. Before we started learning the choreography, though, Abby showed us a fake heart that looked really real. It grossed me out.

     The trio is a little silly. I'm pretty sure we're supposed to be clowns. Sarah's insanely good at acro. Lilly has competition. After dance, we all went to get ice cream and I got everybody's number. I can't wait to get to know my teammates better!

Love,

sweet p

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