My power is out and this is the only thing I can do so, enjoy ig
Ariya
"Here.. blow." I held the napkin to his nose as he emptied his nose. Pinching the napkin away from his nose before handing it to Khyson.
"Ew." I heard him mumble.
"There's a couple of his clothes in here, and medicine and I have kids gravol too-"
"He'll be fine, Ariya." Amara nodded while taking his shoulder into the apartment.
"Let's go, Ariya." Khyson placed a hand on my shoulder.
"You have my number!" I yelled before she closed the door.
"Amara will take care of him, stop worrying." He ushered me into the elevator before I nodded frantically. We silently made our way down to the parking garage and got into his car.
"Are you excited?" I spoke lowly.
"Yeah, I guess." He shrugged, turning the wheel to back out with a hand on my seat.
"You think she'll remember me?" I mumbled. That was a stupid question, if she can't even remember her own grandson how would she ever remember me, god think, Ariya.
"Maybe, sometimes she'll remember her nurse and not me so.. anything is possible." He shrugged silently. I could tell it hurt, when he talked about his grandma not remembering him, I couldn't imagine how that would feel.
"You returning to work tomorrow?" He asked.
"Yeah, I can't avoid it forever. The break was nice but I need to get back into the loop." I nodded, as much as I love to lounge around and relax as the next guy, my life seems so meaningless without work, I mean yeah being a mother is great and all but I need something to do, keep my mind off things, it's a good distraction.
"Yeah, the office misses you." He smiled.
"I doubt that." I chuckled.
"It's true, just last Friday Vera got all up in my face asking me if you were okay after what happened with William."
My face fell at his name, dropping my head with a small sigh.
"I'm sorry, I didn't m-"
"No-it's fine, what did you say?"
"I just told her you were taking a short leave.. the office loves you, you know." His lips curled into a small smirk. I hadn't realized how many people actually cared about my presence, which hurt a little, am I that narcissistic?
"I didn't realize, that's all." I nodded.
The car pulled into a lot of a senior living home. He parked the car and shut it off before opening the door, coming around to open mine and helping me out.
"How long has she been in here?" I asked.
"I tried to have her at home for as long as possible, it got to a point where she couldn't care for herself, I had a nurse coming by almost everyday. I didn't want to put her in a home, but when the nurse said she couldn't live alone I had her come live with me..." I hadn't realized until he stopped a couple feet in front of the doors to finish his sentence.
I couldn't share his pain, I hadn't knew what it was like to have a guardian loose all their will, all their ability to care for themselves.
"It was too much, for me.. I couldn't do it all alone. Since I was at work and her nurse still came in it was no use.. she was happier here-I couldn't tend to her the way they could. Plus.. she had other elderly friends to converse with." He cracked a hurt smile, making me nod.
"Hey?" I took a step forward so my body blocked his from moving.
"Gimme your hand." I reached my palm out as he took it with no hesitation.
We walked in together as the lady at the front desk smiled.
"Khyson, back so soon?" She grinned.
"Yeah, how's she doing?"
"Lemme get Angie for ya." She picked up the phone to her ear and began to speak. Pressing it down before a short lady with glasses came by.
"How's she?" He looked down while squeezing my hand, I made sure to give him the reassurance he needed and rubbed my thumb over his skin.
"Good, she's doing well.. we moved her room follow me." I watched him step in front of me and follow the short woman in the blue scrubs. We went through many hallways and walked through many rooms with many seniors. We walked down a long hall with many doors, before rounding one.
11C
The nurse grabbed the handle and tugged down before the door swung open and they walked in, I stopped in the doorway not wanting to be intrusive. Khyson soon around and a stared up at him innocently.
"You coming?" He asked.
"You don't wanna be alone?" I wondered.
"Just, come on." Now he was the one grasping my hand in his and leading me into the room.
"Noel, look who's back?" Her nurse spoke. She looked up from the book buried in her hands. I couldn't imagine how Khyson was feeling.
"Khyson, honey you're just in time for-Ariya? Is that you sweetie?" She glanced over their shoulders to eye me. I squeezed his hand before nodding towards her. Her nurse left us.
I glanced up at Khyson before he inched me forward.
"Yeah." I nodded, tucking my hair behind my ear and stepping forward.
"I feel like I haven't seen you in ages." She smiled sweetly.
"We need to chat, come sit." She patted the edge of her bed and I sat down, Khyson taking a seat on the chair beside the bed.
"Honey, who's that.. your husband?" She pointed to Khyson, clueless to his identity. I glanced my head back to him while he nodded with a sympathetic smile.
"Yeah." I nodded, reaching back to grasp his hand.
"How long have you been married?"
"A uh-a couple-two years." I glanced back at him in worry as he nodded.
"That's nice, what have you been up to?" She grasped my free hand and I felt just how cold hers were.
"Nothing really." I curled my lips into a calmed smile.
"Oh, Khyson baby I didn't see you there.. when did you get here?" She furrowed her brows.
"Not too long ago." He smiled. I could hear the pain in his voice as he tried to convince her.
"C'mon, leave.. let us chat." She shooed him away.
"You don't have t-" I turned to him and tried to let him know.
"It's fine, just text me if you need me I'll be out in the hall." He rubbed his thumb over my palm before getting up and leaving.
"You guys always had a rather.. special chemistry." She shook her head in disbelief.
"Pardon?"
"I know I'm old, old enough to know how you two feel about each other."
"I don't think I understand-"
"Since you two were little, I remember one night I came into Khyson's room to get his laundry and saw you two curled up on the bed asleep. He was on his back and you had had your arms around his body, your head tucked into his neck with his in your hair."
For a person with memory loss she sure does remember a lot.
"How-"
"You both love each other."
"No w-"
"Yes you do." She cut me off.
Just before she could speak Khyson came back in with a few bottles.
"It's time for your meds." He said while shaking the bottles.
"I don't need those." She shrugged him away.
"Come on, nana.. you need them. Come on, sit up."
-
It was late, his car was parked in the empty lot of a Walmart as we ate our burgers silently.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled.
I turned my head slightly, confused at his statement.
"Pardon?" He smiled.
"You ever like.. realize all the shit you've done?" He had still been starring forward, yet to lock our eyes.
"Yeah, actually that's been happening more than I'd like these days." I chuckled, wincing at the awkwardness in our voices.
"I'm sorry, Ariya." He shook his head, I watched the pain flush his features, taking over himself.
"Why are you sorry?"
"I shouldn't have slept with you that night, you weren't the right state of mind.. and I hate the way things have been between us-and I wish we could act like we used to be-I know we promised ourselves we would but we both know it's far from it. I really needed to get that off my chest."
It was like a blow to my heart, he didn't want us-he didn't like the idea of us. I didn't want to care, but a piece of me always dreamed of our relationship.
"I shouldn't have forced you." I wrapped up the remaining of my food and placed it back into the bag.
"I never said I didn't want anything between us." He spoke.
"What-" the comment almost caught me off guard, did he want something more?
"Wanna go for dinner next week? If you still need time I-"
I couldn't believe my ears, where was all this forwardness suddenly coming from. A sudden smile curled onto my lips.
I didn't want to be in a relationship with him, we've been over this. I did, actually I just couldn't. His identity to Rylan is more important than a date.
"Yes."
Why in the name of god did I say yes. What is wrong with me, do I have no self control.
"Ariya?"
"Yeah."
"When you left.. did you ever think about turning back?"
I did think about turning back, but I knew I really never would. My conscious wouldn't let me turn back.
"No."