The following week, Sana threw me a small smile when she entered the room. I had to pinch myself to know if everything was real. However, all I could do was smile back. I wanted to say something more, start a topic to talk about, or ask her how her weekend went. But I got tongue-tied.
We only sat in silence, while Sana went reading her notes - her usual routine - until Miss Kang arrived and started with the quiz.
While I answered, I couldn't erase the image of Sana smiling at me. I wanted her to smile at me again. So, instead of the test, my thoughts were filled with her.
I only realized I was supposed to be focusing when I took a glance at her, seeing her serious thinking face while she answered her test paper.
Thankfully, I was able to pass the quiz with flying colors and Miss Kang dismissed us early.
Since we still have two hours before our next class, Jihyo asked us to hang out. She even included Sana despite the last time we talked about her being aloof. And none of us expected that she would be coming with us. And I've never been so happy. Maybe Sana was starting to warm up.
Then I thought, this would be my opportunity to get to know her, however, it also became an opportunity for Jeongyeon to lowkey tease me and try to make me walk side by side with Sana.
I was impressed with how Jihyo, Jeongyeon, and Mina could easily talk with her while here I was, being her seatmate, still couldn't utter a single word to her.
After we walked aimlessly around campus, I suggested we go to the cafe' where Chaeyoung introduced Tzuyu to me, and where I saw Sana with the guy. And it turned out Mina's girlfriend was Dahyun - the culinary student working part time as a barista - Jeongyeon, Chaeyoung, and I sort of became acquainted with, since we hang out here frequently.
What a small world.
Mina kept glancing towards Dahyun throughout; while Jeongyeon took the opportunity to ask Sana some personal questions. Particularly, her love life.
"I'm not in a relationship," Sana said much to our surprise. She might've noticed the shocked looks on our faces but decided not to comment about it. Well, she was always quiet, I doubt she would say much.
"You're single?" Jihyo asked, still looking so surprised. She took a quick glance at me then back to Sana. "Someone said they saw you with a guy."
I knew Jihyo was referring to me. I should've just kept my mouth shut, I knew they didn't get my point back then. "Anyway, she said she's single," I said, feeling happy with the information.
Jihyo glanced at me again but she didn't say anything. I almost thought she'd say 'you're the one who told us you saw her with a guy,' but it didn't happen. Next time, I'd be careful with the things I share with them.
Just as I was about to thank Jeongyeon for asking Sana's relationship status, she said: "Why are you single?"
And I wanted to smack her head for asking such dumb question. Why did she have to ask? Wasn't she happy that I might have a shot with Sana? But maybe, it wasn't an entirely dumb question, I realized. I wanted to know why.
When Sana didn't answer right away, Jeongyeon continued, "I mean, you're pretty. I'm sure someone asked you out."
"It's... a long story. And I'm prioritizing my studies," Sana answered.
"Can't you do both?" Jeongyeon pressed on. "I mean, study and be in a relationship?"
For some reason, her question made Sana smile but it didn't reach her eyes. "Manageable, but it's complicated for now."
I found myself frowning at her answer. Complicated? What could she mean? However, I admire her seriousness and commitment in her studies. I thought she would go a long way.
"Hey, are you interested in her?" Jihyo smirked, looking at Jeongyeon with teasing eyes.
But instead of answering Jihyo's question, Jeongyeon put an arm around me. "Sana, what if my friend here suddenly asks you out? Will your answer change?"
I felt my cheeks heat up, and this time I really did smack Jeongyeon's shoulder.
"Ow!"
"Shut up," I said with gritted teeth.
Jihyo was beaming. "Oh, you're matchmaking them?"
I saw Sana gazing at me, and I couldn't meet her eyes. Fuck Jeongyeon! What a traitor!
"Maybe," Sana simply said.
"Are you into girls too?" Mina asked, and it got all of our attention. But I still couldn't look at Sana.
"Right, I'm curious about that," Jeongyeon said, even leaning forward.
However, before Sana could answer Mina's question, her phone rang and she had to excuse herself. And when she came back, she apologized because she had something urgent and she had to go.
I tried my best to hide my disappointment as Jihyo, Mina, and Jeongyeon waved their goodbyes.
"Tsk," Jeongyeon clicked her tongue when Sana left. I guess she was just as disappointed as I was.
"Why are you curious about Sana's sexuality?" I heard Jihyo asked Jeongyeon. I decided to listen to their conversation.
Jeongyeon shrugged. "Well, because I'm gay, Nayeon's gay, Mina's gay, and you're... confused? So, it's only fair that we know, right? Instead of assuming her sexuality?"
"Oh, I thought Nayeon has a crush on her or something." Jihyo was grinning at me and Mina was smiling. I felt that I was being hot seated.
Jeongyeon laughed. I thought she's going to join in and spill my secret, but she said, "It's just because they're both single, that's all."
I was thankful she was defending me now, but how dare she betray me earlier in front of Sana!
I confronted Jeongyeon about it when she went over to my place after our classes to binge watch a series with me on Netflix since she couldn't do that in the dorm she was staying at.
But instead of responding to my confrontation, Jeongyeon only teased me and said, "Look how rich you are. You even have your own place. Why don't you just buy yourself a girlfriend? Sana seems not available."
If only I wouldn't go to jail for killing someone, I'd already done it.
***
On my way home the following day, I spotted Sana just leaving the university gates. And since I didn't have Korean Politics class today, I kind of missed her.
I thought of calling her, but different scenarios ran in my head: If I called her, what would I say? Should I ask her out? What if she said no? If I waved and asked her what's up? It might just end up in small talk and our conversation might fall out. It would be very awkward.
Hm...
Should I just confess to her?... Bend on one knee and ask her to marry me?
Aaah, what should I do?
As I was deep in my thoughts thinking how I would approach her, I didn't notice I was following her and I already found myself on the subway.
What am I doing?
However, when I saw Sana boarded the train, I did too. I knew I wasn't thinking rationally, it was like someone took over me and I couldn't stop myself from following her.
But maybe following her like this wasn't so bad, right? I might learn where she lives. I just had to know my way back.
If I wanted to have her as a girlfriend, a little risk was needed. And this was the first time I stalked someone. Creepy I know, but I couldn't back-out now that I'm already here. But I swear I wouldn't do this again. Plus this was a bit dangerous, a real creep could approach me anytime so I have to watch my back.
<To: Jeongie> Hey, I'm stalking Sana. Please don't ask why, it just happened. I'm riding a subway. I don't know where this will lead. I'm just saying so whatever happens to me at least there's a single person who knew where I was. I'll keep you updated.
And as expected, Jeongyeon would be calling me. Thankfully, I'm at a safe distance from Sana.
"Are you crazy? Why are you stalking her?!"
"Yes, I'm crazy! I'll call you later, I promise."
Jeongyeon shouted wait before I hang up the phone.
Sana took off at the next station. And it's like thirty minutes away from my home. I followed her out, still keeping a safe distance.
I didn't know how long I had been walking since we left the station when Sana suddenly disappeared at the corner. I walked faster and blindly entered the building she had entered without reading the signage outside.
I thought I entered the apartment she was living in when a nice, relaxing aroma entered my nostrils and I found myself at a massage spa.
Wait, did I enter the right place? But I was sure this was where Sana entered.
"Sorry miss but minors aren't allowed." The lady behind the counter said, interrupting my thoughts.
Just what is this place?
I quickly showed my ID to the lady behind the counter as proof that I wasn't a minor. Then she led me into one of the rooms.
"W-w-wait! I'm looking for Sana," I blurted, even though I wasn't sure if they knew her. But the lady only told me to wait.
I roamed my eyes around the tiny room. It only had a lone bed and a table where different oils used for massage were stored. And on the bed was a towel.
I swallowed. What was Sana doing in a place like this? Was she a customer here? Did she like getting massages? Should I learn how to give a massage?
I should find her. I went to reach for the door when it opened. A female therapist entered and closed the door.
"Please remove your..." she stopped mid-sentence when our eyes met and it's when I realized who the therapist was.
"Sana?" I uttered softly. I couldn't believe what I'm seeing.
"What are you doing here?" Sana asked in a whisper. And I wanted to ask her the same thing.
Then I realized the answer. I could feel my heart drumming wildly inside my chest.
"Is this what's keeping you busy?" I asked. I didn't know how I found my voice and asked her that question when I always got tongue-tied around her.
Sana turned around, facing her back at me. "Remove your clothes so we can get started."
I blinked. "W-what? Re-remove my what?"
"You're here to get a massage, right?"
I was about to tell her no when I remembered how I ended up getting here. I couldn't just tell her that I was here because I stalked her.
"Y-yeah," I lied before I hesitantly removed my clothes. I couldn't believe I would be stripping in front of Sana this soon. But she's facing her back to me so I wasn't really stripping in front of her. Ugh, whatever!
I never thought I'd end up in this mess, I shouldn't have followed her.
"Cover yourself with the towel after you get undressed," she said.
And I did as I was told.
"Done," I simply said. I could feel my cheeks heating up and other parts of my body. It was suddenly hot.
Sana then slowly turned around and I saw her look at me from head to toe. I felt myself blush more.
"Lie on your chest."
"Huh?"
And to my surprise, she guided me, her soft hand touching my bare back. I felt myself shiver from the contact.
After laying me down, I felt Sana pull down my towel just until my lower back, keeping my butt covered.
"I'm going to unhook your bra," she said, and it did something to my body just hearing her voice and saying those things.
Oh my God! What have I gotten myself into?!
After unhooking my bra, she muttered, "I never thought you'd go to a place like this." I gulped but I didn't answer. I never thought I'd see her working here.
Soon she started doing me—I mean giving me a massage. Putting oil on my body.
"You're tense. Relax."
Oh god, why did she sound so good? It's making me think all sorts of things I shouldn't be thinking right now.
I took a deep breath trying to relax. She had skillful hands. I couldn't help but moan from time to time.
"Does it feel good?" Sana asked, putting delicious pressure somewhere on my upper back.
"Oh, God, yes," I moaned out loud, my eyes closed.
Her massage felt so amazing that I didn't notice her hands getting lower, and lower, almost touching my butt.
I shot my eyes open. "Y-you don't have to..." I almost raised my upper body only to remember that I was half naked.
"It's okay," she reassured me.
"It's not. I-I-I mean... I'm not comfortable... being touched... there."
"Oh, I'll skip to your thighs then."
I swallowed, imagining her hands touching those erogenous zones particularly my inner thighs. And I thought I might not be able to handle it.
"N-no, I'm okay. I'm done," I said.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah," I glanced at her and she was looking at me.
Everything was unbelievable. I couldn't believe I was talking to her; I couldn't believe I'd receive a massage from her; I couldn't believe she was working in a place like this!
I followed her to learn more about her. I thought I'm going to at least learn where she lived. But everything was unexpected.