Tony, Steve, Bruce, and Clint are all sitting around the living room when the elevator dings. Tony looks over his shoulder. Who's it going to be? He knows Natasha's off on a mission, but she could be coming back now. It could be Thor, too; god only knows where he is, but he never mentioned he was heading back to Asgard. It could even be Loki, as unlikely as that is. He doesn't frequently come out just for the sake of being out, but recently, he's begun to hang around a bit more. Usually, it's following a meal when he has a reason to be out and about to begin with, but that's not to say he can't come by abruptly.
But it's not Loki, nor is it his brother. It seems Natasha's returned, and she didn't do so alone, because when the elevator doors open, the first person Tony's gaze lands on is none other than Nick Fury. Natasha stands by his side, donning her Black Widow catsuit that says she just came from a mission. Tony looks at her and raises an eyebrow, and Natasha gives a minute shake of her head. He really hopes that's a good sign, but he's not sure how to read it.
"Whoops, sorry," Tony says, pushing himself to his feet. "Avengers Tower has reached capacity. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."
"Stark..." Natasha gives him a really? look, but her tone isn't entirely serious, which bodes well for them. He hopes.
"I'm not here to stay," Fury tells him. "Believe me, I do not want to live with you."
Tony slaps a hand over his heart, feigning offense. "Wow."
"I'm here to talk about Loki," Fury says.
Tony raises his brows. "Okay. Want me to go get him?"
"I said talk about Loki, not to him," Fury says. "Not yet."
"Ah, so we're not debriefing; we're gossiping like high school cheerleaders." Tony nods slowly. "Got it."
"My understanding is that you're never gonna say a good thing about him in front of him and Rogers is never going to say a bad thing," Fury says. "I don't want to know how you treat Loki; I want to know what he's up to."
Steve frowns. "With all due respect, sir, you really don't have to worry about him. He's not 'up to' anything — nothing bad, at least. You heard that he helped Stark with that Mandarin thing a few weeks ago."
"Believe me, I did," Fury deadpans. "Got an earful from the president about that."
"And then I got an earful from you," Tony adds. "Very full-circle, isn't it?"
Fury ignores that. "First of all, what are the odds that Loki's going to walk into this conversation in the middle of it?"
"Like, 50-50," Tony guesses.
"Only if he hears you," Steve says. "And I don't think he will; he's pretty content just listening to his music."
Tony snorts. "I got him that new Taylor Swift CD as a joke. He loves it. It's all you ever hear in his room."
That actually earns an amused smile from him, which Tony hadn't expected in the least, no that he's complaining. "You got Loki listening to Taylor Swift?"
"I sure did," Tony says with pride, as if that was the goal all along and he didn't just give Loki that CD so he and the other Avengers could have a quick laugh with the expectation that it would be forgotten within a few days.
"Does he know that she makes music for teenage girls?" Fury asks.
"He does not," Tony says.
"No, he does," Steve says. "He asked JARVIS. He just doesn't care."
Natasha snorts. "He asked JARVIS?"
"How do you even ask about that?" Clint adds. "'Hey, JARVIS, what's the target demographic for Taylor Swift's CD?'"
"He just wanted to know what the joke was," Steve says. "It's not that weird. I mean, I asked him the same question."
"That doesn't make him not weird," Natasha says. "It just makes you equally weird."
Steve rolls his eyes. "Uh-huh."
"Okay, other than listening to Taylor Swift," Fury says, "what's Loki been up to?"
The Avengers all glance at each other uncertainly. What has Loki been up to? They are him pretty much every day, but he really hasn't done anything.
"Nothing, really," Clint says finally.
"He's just been digging through the ice cream reserves," Tony says. "But that's nothing new."
Fury raises his eyebrow. "That's it?"
"Pretty much," Tony says.
"I mean," Bruce says, "I found him in my lab this morning. I guess he figured out the roadblock I was stuck on before I even thought to ask."
Fury raises his eyebrow. "So he's doing your science homework."
"He's actually really good at it," Tony tells him. "You'd be surprised."
Fury scoffs. "Three months ago, you told me he never left his room. Now he's ghost-writing your research papers?"
"Hey, you gotta take the help where you can get it," Tony says with a shrug. "He's also an avid chess player now." And by "avid," he means they play once or twice a week in the dead of night when Tony can't sleep and Loki is already up and about.
"But the real question is, has he won yet?" Natasha asks.
"He did, actually," Tony says. "We played, like, four rounds last night. He won the last one – but only 'cause I fumbled my queen right at the beginning."
"He finally won one?" Natasha repeats.
Clint chuckles. "Imagine losing to a guy that just learned how to play chess, like, two months ago."
Tony scoffs. "What, the other hundred times I won don't count?"
"Nope; just the fact that you lost," Clint says.
Fury looks at them in disbelief. "You're telling me I have six of the most powerful people in the world watching over a mass murderer, and all he does is play chess and do harmless science experiments?"
Everyone just kind of shrugs and murmurs something about how that's exactly what happened.
"God, talk about a waste of manpower," Fury mutters. "Alright, I wanna see this. Where's Loki now?"
Tony shrugs. "Sleeping, probably." If he didn't sleep this morning, he's assuming that's where they'll find them.
"Hey, JARVIS, where's Loki?" Steve asks.
"Loki is in the kitchen with Thor," JARVIS says.
"Or maybe he's not sleeping," Tony says. God, this guy has the weirdest sleep schedule — or lack thereof. "So, class field trip to the kitchen?"
There's no reason for everyone to go, but they do anyway. They all head towards the kitchen, with minimal conversation along the way. They're just down the hallway when they hear Loki yell, "Leave the cat out of it!"
Fury raises his brows and looks around at the Avengers. "Is that the new normal around here?"
"No, not really," Tony says.
"He's usually pretty quiet," Bruce adds.
Fury picks up the pace a bit, cutting ahead of the others. When he steps in the doorway, there's a hell of a lot to process at once. For one, there's Thor, who takes that moment to step away from the doorway, a bag of M&Ms clutched in his hand that he makes a show of holding behind him. Then there's Loki on the other side of the room, Snowflake in one hand as the other one lowers to his side.
And then there's the most important part, which is the steak knife flying right towards Fury's head.
In the blink of an eye — literally — Loki is standing in front of Fury, and he grabs the knife before it can hit him.
"Did you just throw a knife at me?" Fury asks, his brow cocked.
"No, I threw a knife at my brother," Loki says. "You were just dumb enough to step in its path." He tosses it in the sink, his gaze on Fury the whole time.
Tony sighs. "Why did you throw a knife at your brother?"
"Irrelevant," Loki says dismissively.
Thor answers anyway. "He's upset that I took the chocolate."
Loki scoffs. "Convenient that you leave out the part about how I was already reaching for it when you took it."
"You were not!"
"I most certainly was!" Loki holds a hand out, and the M&Ms from Thor's hand fly right into it. He looks at his brother mockingly. "Was that so hard?" he coos.
Thor clenches his jaw. "It is things like this that–"
"If you reference the Allfather, I will stab you," Loki interrupts.
Thor narrows his eyes. Loki narrows his own right back.
"Well," Natasha says. "This is fun."
Loki finally turns away from his brother, and he plops an M&M into his mouth before the bag disappears. "Director Fury. What brings you to the newly-minted Avengers Tower?"
"You do," Fury says simply.
Loki plasters on a sarcastic smile. "All this way just to visit me? I'm flattered, Director, but really, you shouldn't have."
"What can I say?" Fury says. "I love to visit my favorite prisoner."
"Mm," Loki hums. He readjusts his grip on his cat, lying her down on his arm instead of holding her upright. "Well, this has been lovely, but I am going to go watch some TV."
"What, I don't get to meet the little kitty?" Fury asks, almost mockingly, but it kind of does look like he might want to meet the cat.
"You may not want to," Loki says. "She's incredibly vicious. She may rip out your only remaining eye."
Fury stares at him.
"He's joking," Steve tells him. "Snowflake's never hurt anyone."
The corners of Loki's lips twitch upwards in a wry smile, but Fury doesn't seem at all comforted by that. "How did you...?"
Loki cocks an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?"
"You..." Fury eyes him uncomfortably for a few moments, then shakes his head. "Nevermind."
Loki glances at Steve, confused, and Steve just shrugs.
"You know," Tony says, "if you really want to pet the little kitty, you can. He can't stop you. He doesn't own the cat."
"I can still stop him," Loki says.
"I don't want to pet the cat," Fury deadpans.
"You changed your mind fast," Loki remarks. "I'm disappointed. I'd been hoping to see a bloodbath."
Fury snorts. "So nothing's really changed, then. You're still just hanging around, making your little quips and pretending you still have some semblance of control over your life.'
A small smile plays on Loki's lips, unbothered by that remark. "You've gleaned all the information you came for, I'm sure. Are we done here?"
"What, so you can go back to your room and listen to your Taylor Swift CD?" Fury asks mockingly.
Loki scoffs. "What is the problem with my Taylor Swift CD?" he asks indignantly. "I do not understand everyone's distaste for it. Is it the rampant misogyny seeping into every crack and every fissure of your world, where anything targeted at young women is worthless in the eyes of the oppressor?"
Everybody stares at him.
Loki shakes his head to himself. "Ridiculous," he mutters. "You're as bad as the Asgardians." He conjures him M&Ms, pops another in his mouth, and stores them away again. "If you are done mocking my interests, I am going to watch TV."
Fury looks at him in disbelief, but he does step out of the way, clearing a path for him. The other Avengers follow suit, and Loki heads out of the room, Snowflake still in hand. Everybody just watches him go, dumbfounded.
It's Tony who finally breaks the silence. "You know, really didn't take him for a feminist."
"Loki has always been very opinionated on the subject," Thor says. "It would be much less surprising if you'd known him growing up."
"How come?" Steve asks.
"That would be difficult to explain, given that you did not know him growing up," Thor says.
Bruce looks at him curiously. "Is it because...?"
Thor cracks a smile. "Yes, it is."
Bruce shakes his head to himself. "Part of me wants to ask him about that; part of me wants to pretend I never saw it."
"I advise the latter," Thor says. "Unless you would like a long-winded rant about misogyny in Asgard."
Fury looks between the two of them. "What in the fresh hell are you two talking about?"
"You don't want to know," Bruce says. "Trust me."