To have and to loathe

By sophie_swadil

8.2M 287K 94.9K

18+ ❝ I'm a man of great restraint but seeing you like this is pushing the boundaries of my self control, so... More

• Welcome
• 𝐂hapter 1
• 𝐂hapter 2
• 𝐂hapter 3
• 𝐂hapter 4
• 𝐂hapter 5
• 𝐂hapter 6
• 𝐂hapter 7
• 𝐂hapter 8
• 𝐂hapter 9
• 𝐂hapter 10
• 𝐂hapter 11
• 𝐂hapter 12
• 𝐂hapter 13
• 𝐂hapter 14
• 𝐂hapter 15
• 𝐂hapter 16
• 𝐂hapter 17
• 𝐂hapter 18
• 𝐂hapter 19
• 𝐂hapter 20
• 𝐂hapter 21
• 𝐂hapter 22
• 𝐂hapter 23
• 𝐂hapter 24
• 𝐂hapter 25
• 𝐂hapter 26
• 𝐂hapter 27
• 𝐂hapter 28
• 𝐂hapter 30
• 𝐂hapter 31
• 𝐂hapter 32
• 𝐂hapter 33
• 𝐂hapter 34
• 𝐂hapter 35
• 𝐂hapter 36
• 𝐂hapter 37
• 𝐂hapter 38
• 𝐂hapter 39
• 𝐂hapter 40
• 𝐂hapter 41
• 𝐂hapter 42
• 𝐂hapter 43
• 𝐂hapter 44
• 𝐂hapter 45
• 𝐂hapter 46
• 𝐂hapter 47
• 𝐂hapter 48
• 𝐂hapter 49
• 𝐂hapter 50
• 𝐂hapter 51
• 𝐂hapter 52
• 𝐂hapter 53
• 𝐂hapter 54
• 𝐂hapter 55
• 𝐂hapter 56
• 𝐂hapter 57
• 𝐂hapter 58
• 𝐂hapter 59
• 𝐂hapter 60
• 𝐂hapter 61
• 𝐂hapter 62
• 𝐂hapter 63
• 𝐂hapter 64
• 𝐂hapter 65
• 𝐂hapter 66
• 𝐄pilogue
• 𝐄xtra chapter

• 𝐂hapter 29

119K 4K 1K
By sophie_swadil

I wasn't shocked when I woke up the next day to an empty bed.

I had expected it. I mean I knew he probably wasn't even going to remember half of what he'd said or done to me last night but I didn't know why but it still hurt.

A small knock rang on the door. It sounded feminine, the helpers perhaps. I wrapped the white sheets around my body. "Come in."

The door creaked open slowly and a woman dressed in black and white stepped in with a breakfast tray and a gift bag occupying both her hands.

"Good morning Mrs. Fobster. Sure you had a lovely first night?" She asked with the sweetest British accent as she walked over to the bedside table and placed the items on it.

I nodded. "I did."

She smiled candidly. "Mr. Killian said you might want some tea. It's traditionally brewed." She informed.

I nodded, pushing up to sit on the side of the mattress. "Thank you, I'll have that later."

"He also wanted me to give you this." She picked up the medium-sized red gift bag and stretched it out for me to take.

"What's in it?"

"Oh, I wouldn't know. I didn't look."

Curious, I accepted it from her and looked into the bag.

What the-

My chest clenched and my gut twisted at the sight of more than five red silk night dresses.

Oh my...

There was a note. I pulled it out and read it.

Red because it's my favorite color. Silk because you're a Fobster now and you deserve to sleep in luxury.

_killian.

My heart smashed against my chest so hard that I inhaled a ragged breath.

He remembered. Oh, fuck, he remembered.

"Must be lovely." The woman gleamed beside me and I nodded quickly, unable to take my eyes off the night dresses. They were beautiful and foreign and I loved them.

"I think there's something else." She observed, pointing at one of the items separated in a different package bag.

"You're right." I pulled it out. It was a two-piece pink butterfly patterned bikini swimsuit and it had a note fastened to it.

Wear this and Join me at the swimming pool lounge after breakfast.

_killian.

There was this permanent ache now in my chest that I couldn't put off. I didn't know how to feel about all this. Why the hell was he doing this?

"Would you like me to serve you now?" The woman asked, smiling down at me.

I gulped and nodded. "Yes, please."

After finishing my full English breakfast, I had my bath and donned the swimsuit he'd gotten for me.

It was a bit revealing and I felt uncomfortable going out in front of everyone like this but when the helper whom I came to learn that her name was Eloise, told me that this hotel was privately owned and belonged to Killian, I felt oddly relieved.

I followed behind her as she led me out of the suite and down the elevator to the grand floor where we both took a few more steps until we reached the swimming lounge.

The moment we entered, I was instantly taken aback. I hadn't noticed it yesterday because it was dark and I was jet-lagged from the wedding but the view was amazing.

I still couldn't believe he owned all this.

"I think he's in the water," Eloise observed beside me and sure enough, I could see Killian's head bobbing in the water.

"Yes, he is."

"I'll leave you two now, if you need anything please use the telecom."

"Thank you."

"My pleasure." She smiled and walked out through the sliding doors, leaving me to moon over my fake husband as he swam around in the water like a skilled athlete.

It was cold out here. Kind of made me wonder how he could stomach the chills from the water.

I walked forward a little towards the edge of the large swimming pool and watched. "Isn't it cold?"

He disappeared beneath the surface of the glimmering water and swam to the ending before popping his head back up. "It was filled with steaming water." He grabbed onto the iron stair railings and began to climb up and I felt my throat slowly go dry. He was wet all over. From his hair to his chest, to his stomach and oh my, his cock did obscene things to the front of his soaked red swim trunks.

"It fits." He observed, staring down at me with a look that made me shudder.

I nodded, keeping my eyes up even though they begged to wander about. "It does. Thank you. How's your head, does it hurt?"

He hummed, bringing his eyes back up to me. "Did you get my gift?"

"Yes, I did. Thank you."

"Did you like it?"

"Of course." I managed a smile. "They're beautiful."

"Well, I did ruin your nightdress last night so that's the least I could do."

I bit my lip. "Do you remember anything else from last night?"

He studied me for a moment and then shook his head. "Is there anything important I did or missed?"

My heart melted. I guess I was being in over my head for a moment, thinking he would remember. "No." I forced a smile. "You didn't miss anything."

"Alright."

"I didn't know you, um, swim," I said, clearing the tension in the air.

He shrugged again, walking past me to the tray of orange juice placed on one of the beach chairs. "It's one of my favorite things to do here."

I followed behind him. "You've been here before?"

He nodded, turning himself a glass and taking a huge gulp.

"I didn't know that either."

"Don't beat yourself over it. There are a lot of things you don't know about me." He placed his glass down and sat on the sunbed.

"You must have brought a lot of women here with you." I chuckled, meaning it as a joke but deep down, I wanted to know.

"Well, I have." He replied stiffly. "But you don't need to be jealous."

I snorted in response. "I am not jealous."

I simply was not. There was no way in hell I would be jealous of a man that wasn't even mine.

"Mm," he merely hummed. "Debatable."

My lips formed a straight line as I planted my hands on my hip in defense. "It's not, okay. I'm not jealous, I can never be jealous of any other woman because you're not even mine, to begin with, and -ah!" I yelped when he grabbed my hand and yanked me to him like he'd done the night before.

"Your whining isn't helping my head throb any less." He drawled, and I drew a shuddering breath, feeling my pussy clench as it rested directly on his bulge.

"And yes," he continued, sliding his cold palm over my thighs and causing the hairs at the back of my neck to stand at attention. "I've come here with a woman before but you have no valid reason to be jealous because while we're married, you'll be the only woman I'll take places or touch."

I pushed on his chest, trying desperately to ignore the growing heat I felt all over my body. "Is that supposed to make me jump for joy?"

He smirked, pushing his hand further up. "It should." Another inch. "I mean, knowing you own my cock and can use it however you please is a good enough reason to make you jump for joy."

I laughed off my horniness. "You're insane."

"And you're crazy. Perfect match." He leaned forward and crashed his lips against mine in a blistering kiss. Holy... I involuntarily responded, meshing my tongue with his in a passionate, frenzied, needy battle that left me sealing the tiny space between us and digging my fingers into his hair.

"Your lips are fucking soft." He breathed between kisses, freeing my hips and sliding his hand up to undo the knot holding my bra top together.

I gasped when it came off and pulled away from his mouth to shield my exposed breast. "Killian. We're outside."

"It's a private space." He pulled my hand away and smoothed his over my breasts. They ached. "No one's going to hear us, and even if they did, it wouldn't matter." He captured one hard, tight nipple into his mouth and I shuddered, holding on to him tight as his tongue lapped over it.

"You play hard to get but respond every single time."

I arched a little into his hard body, ignoring his pointed teasing. "Just shut up and suck my tits."

He chuckled, moving his hand up to roll my neglected nipple while the other made its way down, slipping between my parted thighs. This finger rubbed over my slit, gathering my essence, his mouth never leaving my nipple as he did so. "Always so wet and ready to be fucked."

I shuddered, my arousal thickening in the air. "I'm not having sex with you in a swimming pool if that's what you're suggesting."

"Who said anything about having sex?"

Before I could as much as take in my next breath or make sense of his words, I found myself being lifted and deposited on the beach chair with Killian on his knees.

"W-What are you doing?"

His eyes drifted to mine and heat rose from my stomach to my chest as he began to drag my panties down my legs.

"What you didn't let me do last night." He pulled the wet fabric away, exposing my aching sex to him. His eyes dilated. "Well, what do we have here?" His thumb brushed against my swollen clit and began to draw lazy circles.

I arched. The lump in my throat was so thick and heavy that it restricted my ability to even breathe properly. "Killian..." I couldn't take it. This was all too much. He was messing me up pretty badly and I was falling deeply.

"Mhm.." he sighed in pleasure, sliding a finger slowly inside my wet sex, not deep enough but good enough to make me squirm in agitation.

"You're awfully needy this morning, Mrs. Fobster." He teased, sliding his finger back out and entering me slowly, but not deep. "If I didn't know better, I say you couldn't get enough of your husband."

I bit my lip, grounding into his hand, struggling to get closer. "If you're going to do it, just do it."

"Really?" He slowly eased in another inch, driving me crazy with need. "That's not the please I was hoping for." He was toying with me, enjoying my desperation.

"Please." I managed shamelessly, raising my hips at him.

"Not loud enough." He was slipping out again.

God no.

"Please Killian, please."

"Mhm..." He withdrew slightly and rubbed his wet fingertip around my clit in slow, teasing circles. "I'll consider if you beg me one more time."

I groaned. "Killian, for the love of God, stop playing around and just-" he plunged deep, immediately stealing the air from my lungs.

"Oh fuck!" I slapped my hand over my mouth, muffling my moans.

He released a faint chuckle as he added another finger and plunged in deeper, hitting me just where it ached. "You were saying?"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." I gritted, whipping back and forth as I fought back my scream.

"Let's see what will happen when I do...this." He added a third finger inside me and my eyes rolled. Jesus, he was stretching me, eating my space up like a horse.

"Oh, God, I can't." My eyes closed and my toes curled as I felt orgasm brewing. "I'm going to cum. Killian."

"Soak my fingers with your cum, baby." He compelled, curving all three fingers and hitting the spot that ruined me entirely, and-oh-I came, crying out his name and clenching my walls as my juices stained his moving fingers.

"Killian." I collapsed flat on the chair, taking in deep breaths.

"Watching your orgasm drip out of your pussy is the greatest sight ever." My body vibrated at his words. He pulled out of me and I lifted my head to watch him as he licked my essence off his fingers one by one.

So...hot.

His last finger slipped out of his mouth in a pop. "I would never be able to get used to your taste."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I asked, still feeling drained.

"Both." He said and kissed my thighs before getting up with a satisfied smile on his face. "I'm feeling hot all over. How about a quick swim?"

I nodded. "Give me a minute."

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