Hey y'all! Sorry for the hiatus! This semester was really hard on me. I don't know if I've ever really talked about this but I am currently a college student who wants to go to medical school. I graduate in December of this year and I had to make the decision to get my masters before going to medical school (uhg another year of school) to beef up my chances. Getting into med school these days is really hard, and school really took it out of me this semester. I can't make any promises about update schedules this summer since I am taking classes but I would love to finish this book. Thank you all for the unconditional support, hope you enjoy :) <3
Trigger warning, traumatic birth experience ahead. May be a bit dark for some readers.
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I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose as my pager goes off for what feels like the 30th time today. It has been a week since Andy saw Michael at the grocery store. The police confirmed that according to security footage he had been following her, but has since dropped off the face of the Earth. Because of this, the police thought it best for Andy to lie low and not go into work for now. Colton, Roman and I also think its a good idea but Andy is definitely struggling with it. Luckily Roman is writing up his research from home, so she's not alone. I don't think she wants to admit it, but I know it makes her feel safer to not have to be alone. Since Andy is on leave for the foreseeable future, the pager has now become mine.
I quickly dial the number the pager flashes, which I recognize as a line on the labor and delivery floor. I do this a bit confused as I have no scheduled inductions or C-sections, and I usually get a call before my patients are admitted to the floor. Within a few rings, a nurse picks up.
"Hello this is nurse Chelsea."
"Hi Chelsea, this is Dr. Anderson returning a page."
"Oh yes! Dr. Anderson! We have a patient up here requesting you by name. She say's she's not officially your patient, but you took care of her a few months ago."
"Oh? Can you give me her MRN number so I can look her up?"
The nurse reads me the MRN number and I nearly drop the phone when the patient pulls up.
"Holy shit."
"I'm sorry Dr. Anderson?" The nurse replies.
"Sorry! Thats my uh, boyfriends sister in law. Is she in active labor? She's not due for 2 more weeks."
"Oh congrats Dr. Anderson! Yes, contractions are about 4 minutes apart and she's 6cm dilated."
"Okay perfect, I'll be right up. Thank you!"
With that I hang up, rushing to grab my bags and locking my office door behind me. I refrain from calling Colton just in case they haven't called him yet. Even if it is his sister in law, that could be a huge HIPAA violation.
I try and calm my worries about Callie on the elevator ride up to the labor and delivery floor. She just got her leg cast off less than two weeks ago, and I fear she might be weaker than we had hoped for going through labor.
The elevator door opens and I rush to her room, already knowing the room number from her patient chart I had pulled up.
I take one last calming breath before entering the room, knowing the last thing she needs is for me to look anxious.
"Faye! Thank god!" I hear Callie grit out as she holds Alex's hand in a death grip. I seriously hope thats not the arm he dislocated in the accident because she's pulling on it pretty hard.
"Hey Callie! Need anything? How are we feeling?"
"I need a fucking epidural but they can't tell me how long it's going to be."
I hold back my laugh as Alex winces and head over to the bedside computer monitor.
"Let me check on that for you, hopefully it shouldn't be too long."
She sighs and lays back in the bed as the contraction passes, looking at me hopefully.
"They put the order in a bit ago so the anesthesiologist should be here any minute." I say smiling and patting her hand.
She nods before tearing up. "I was supposed to have two more weeks, is he going to be okay?"
I nod before crouching down and grabbing her free hand. "He was considered full term at 37 weeks, and he made it to 38. Everything looked good at your last appointment so I wouldn't worry. Dr. Watson is your OB, correct?"
She nods.
"Dr. Watson is amazing and one of my favorite people to work with, I promise you, you have nothing but the best people looking after you."
Callie nods again before bursting into tears. "We don't even have a name picked out! And Alex wants something stupid!"
I hold back my laugh again as Alex looks like a deer caught in headlights.
"I promise you he will have a name. I can help you look for some or go over options!" I say trying to distract her from crying, and the fact that I can see another contraction coming on the monitor.
"And you could always name him Colton." Colton says as he strolls into the room.
Callie goes to yell at him but before she can the contraction hits, causing both her and Alex to yell.
Colton looks over to me, looking just as terrified as his brother in that moment before looking down at my stomach, and then back up to my face.
"Not. Now." I mouth to him. He can freak out about bringing our baby into the world, just not while his sister in law is trying to bring his nephew into the world.
Once the contraction ends, Callie falls back against the bed, panting heavily.
"Colton if you suggest we name the baby after you one more time, I will kill you. Name your own kid after yourself."
I laugh as Colton has the audacity to look ashamed. Before he can respond the angel himself walks in, the anesthesiologist.
Colton and I leave the room to give them more space to work and give Callie her epidural.
"I don't think I ever realized how intense having a baby was." Colton says gulping, taking a seat in the hallway.
I nod, a bit worried at his reaction. If he looks this pale for his sister in law being in labor, he very well might pass out during mine.
"We're all closed on the house, we can start moving in starting next Monday." Colton says, seemingly trying to distract himself.
I nod in response. "I was thinking of selling Roman my house. It will be easier than him having to find an apartment. Andy could continue staying there too. It will give them both more space."
Colton nods in agreement. "I worry your brother might be getting too close to her."
I roll my eyes in response. "He just wants to help her Colton. He's a big boy, he can handle himself." I say snappily.
I could feel the mood swing hitting me in full effect as Colton raises his eyebrows at me in response.
"What?" I question, narrowing my eyes at him.
I almost instantly regret snapping at him as soon as the word leaves my mouth, but the last few nights have been hell. I don't think I've slept fully through the night in a week, and it just seems to be getting worse and worse between the baby moving and having to pee.
Colton studies me for a second, deciding to tread lightly for his own sake.
"Faye, are you okay? Can I get you something? When was the last time you ate?"
I quickly swipe away the tears that form as I look back up at him. "I'm exhausted and nauseous. I ate lunch though." I say glancing at my watch which reads 3:00PM.
Colton nods seemingly satisfied with my response. Before he can ask any more questions, the anesthesiologist and Callie's nurse walk out of her room, gesturing for us to go back inside.
Colton wraps his arm around me as we walk back in, whispering that we'll talk later.
Callie looks a lot more peaceful as we walk in, as does Alex. We hang around for a few hours, trying to Help Callie come up with names. We offer to leave so she can get some sleep but she refuses, stating there was no way she could sleep right now.
"I don't see why you won't consider Golem?" Colton says with a smirk on his face.
Callie rolls her eyes and gives him the finger. "If I could feel my legs I would walk over there and break your nose."
I laugh, shoving Colton and giving him a glare for egging her on. Thankfully Callie's OB, Dr. Watson walks in before Colton can suggest another stupid name.
"Dr. Fanning, hope you're doing well."
"The same as when you were in here an hour ago Hannah." I say laughing.
She shrugs before putting on gloves. "You never know. Callie, you should be getting close, I'm going to check your dilation if thats okay?"
Callie nods, bracing herself for the uncomfortable check. Thankfully with the epidural she shouldn't be able to feel it, but the idea itself is enough to make most people uncomfortable.
"Alright Callie, good news. You're ready to push!"
Callie does her best not to look terrified as she looks over at Alex and then to me.
"You're going to do great Callie. Colton and I will be right out here, we can't wait to meet him." I say as Colton pulls me to my feel.
"No! Faye! Please stay. Is it okay if you stay?" I look over at Alex for confirmation, then over to Dr. Watson before agreeing.
"Of course, let's get you ready."
Callie nods, taking a deep breath. They allow her to start pushing while they turn over the room for the delivery. Even though I've seen this done hundreds of times, the feeling is so different when you know it's technically your nephew about to be brought into the world, even if Colton and I aren't married.
Alex stands on Callie's right as I stand on her left as she pushes. After an hour I can tell she's drained, but I can also tell she's so close.
"I can't do this!" Callie cries, grabbing onto Alex trying to catch her breath.
I try and soothingly rub her arm as she half breathes and half cries. As she does this I notice a dip in the fetal heart rate, and my eyes connect with Dr. Watson's, who looks very concerned.
I turn to Callie. "Callie, I know you're tired but with this next contraction I need you to push with everything you have, and if we say stop you stop."
"Faye, what's wrong? What's wrong with him?" She chokes out.
"He's just a little stressed, thats all." I say, trying to keep her calm and focused.
She nods, taking a deep breath before pushing. After about what feels like forever, but is really only a few seconds, Dr. Watson yells for her to stop. She does, screaming as she tries to resist her body's natural urge.
From where I stand I can see that the umbilical cord has wrapped around the baby's neck. I swallow back my emotions as Callie's grip on my hand tightens. Thankfully it only takes Dr. Watson a few seconds to unwrap the cord from his neck and Callie to start pushing again.
He comes quickly after that, and again after what feels like eternity, he lets our a cry and is placed on Callies chest. I don't even realize I'm crying with her and Alex until I feel the wetness on my cheeks.
Not all babies are born cute, but this one definitely was. I could tell he shared the same nose as his father, and thus the same nose as Colton. I couldn't help but wonder if Colton and I's baby would have the same nose as well.
I'm pulled out of my new baby bliss when Callie goes to say something to me, and instead slurs her words. Right as she does this, her machine alarm goes off, indicating that her heart rate and blood pressure are dropping.
I instruct Alex to hold the baby as nurses pull him to the other side of the room. I don't even have to look to know Callie is experiencing a postpartum hemorrhage. I quickly gown and glove myself as Dr. Watson works to control the bleeding. I pray to god we can get it stopped and don't have to take drastic measures, like performing a hysterectomy, and taking away Callie's ability to carry any more children. She survived so much to bring her son into this world, and I can't help but beg god to keep her here.
Dr. Watson and I quickly work together to deliver the placenta and try to identify where the bleed is coming from.
"Fucking hell Anderson, she's losing a lot of blood."
"I know." I say, working quickly to apply abdominal massage and pressure to slow the bleeding and hopefully pass the pieces of leftover placenta causing the hemorrhage.
I bark orders in the general direction of other medical staff to hang blood for Callie as we continue working. I can hear Alex screaming in the back of my mind but I'm too focused on Callie to acknowledge him. Finally the bleeding begins to slow after injections of clotting agents, and Callie's blood pressure and heart rate begin to climb.
Suddenly, the entire world comes rushing back in and I can hear Alex and the baby's cries. Callie is mostly unconscious, but responsive thankfully. She should become more alert after the blood transfusion and the fluids finish.
I finally make eye contact with Alex who looks terrified. I turn and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and understand why. I'm covered in his wife's blood.
I quickly pull the surgical gown from my body and wash my hands. Unfortunately in my rush to get the gown on, some of my scrubs underneath were left exposed and I'm still covered in a substantial amount of blood.
After I've ensured Callie is stable and Alex seems to have calmed down, I leave the room to catch my breath and change into clean scrubs.
When I walk into the hallway, distraught doesn't even begin to describe the emotion on Colton's face. He sat out here and watched dozens of medical staff run into his sister in laws room, and heard the screams of his brother as he thought he was watching his wife die.
"She's okay Colton, she's okay." I choke out.
Colton quickly rises and grabs me as my knees buckle and I begin to sob.
I vaguely sense other people watching, but I can't be bothered. Thankfully no one says anything, but I would have been shocked if someone had interrupted a doctor soaked in blood sobbing.
I try and calm myself down with deep breaths as Colton rubs my back, and after a while it finally seems to work.
"Do I need to call Dr. Fanning?" Colton asks concerned. I shake my head no, shakily pulling myself to my feet with his help.
"I just need a minute, and I need to get out of these fucking scrubs."
Colton nods and holds onto me as I lead him toward the women's locker room.
He says he'll wait outside but I tell him to go and see his brother, as I need to shower and I need some time.
For the first time in hours I look at my watch and see its three in the morning.
Exhaustion hits me like a bag of bricks, and I slide to the floor of the shower sobbing, not bothered by how dirty it could be or the red water flowing off of me.
"How do I recover from this? How do I face them?" I wonder, continuing to sob in the empty locker room.