I figured my parents wouldn't be happy when they learned all my shit was stolen, but I didn't think they'd act like I let the burglar come in and take it. I've already laid it all out there, and I got a big fat no in response. I've resorted to begging.
"I'm sorry Lucy, but this is insane," Mom says as she shakes her head. "Why would you put yourself in this position is what I want to know?"
"Why didn't you move home after New York? We have your room here?" My dad adds and I shake my head. I feel angry tears welling up so I look away from them.
"Because I didn't need you trying to salvage my relationship," I finally confess. "I knew you'd try and make me work things out with Blake and I didn't want to."
"Why though? Twice now you've had everything you've ever wanted at your fingertips and you walked away?" My mother says, baffled that I wouldn't stick around with a cheater.
"I had everything you wanted me to have twice now," I say, choking back tears. I rarely cry in front of my parents, unless I am injured or watching a sappy movie.
"What?" My dad asks while sticking his hands on his hips.
"Mom I know you love New York, I know you loved having a daughter that went to Julliard, I know you loved Blake, but to be honest...I never loved any of that. And it's taking every ounce of courage that I have to ask you to help me while I get back on my feet. I need help and I am not going to ask Jack or Stella for anything else."
"What? Lucy, I am so confused as to what you are talking about right now."
"Lucy, if we give you this money, you said you're going to buy a laptop and baking supplies with it," My dad repeats and I shake my head yes.
"How are you paying your bills? Where are your savings?" He asks me and I wipe my hot tears away from my face.
"Gone. New York is expensive and Blake and I split everything. I paid for my move out there and I was making a little more than minimum wage. I moved myself back here which is why I brought so little back. That's also why I am back working at the bar. So I can get an apartment and put everything into baking."
"Where were you living when all your stuff was stolen? You don't have an apartment now?" My dad asks, like he's trying to piece together a puzzle that he only has half the pieces to.
"I was renting a room from a friend and now I am living at Jack's."
"You just started dating and are already living together? Lucy, honey, what are you thinking? He seems nice and all but you're only setting yourself up to fail again. If you have no money, and you two break up, what will you do?"
"That's why I am asking you for a loan!" I say exasperated. "So I can pick myself back up and not rely on my boyfriend for everything."
"No, you'll just rely on us to clean up your mess," My mother snaps and my dad snaps his gaze from his scotch glass to her.
"Lucielle-" my dad starts but she cuts him off with her hand.
"Lucy, I am sorry. But we gave you every opportunity for twenty years. We set you up for every success and you threw it all away. We gave you the opportunity to fix your life here and you ran away to Phoenix with little communication. We are paying for your schooling, again and now you want us to pay for your mistakes. We have not had to pay a cent for Lauren since she graduated from Yale."
"You paid for her Ph.D. I saved you money by going to ASU!" I throw out there, but my mother looks thunderous.
"And you're paying us back by baking cookies for the internet. At least your sister took what we gave her and made a life out of it. We gave her wings and she flew. We gave you wings and you threw them away and you are now mad that we won't give you them again."
"I'm only asking for enough money to get me a laptop which I need for school and some supplies to record videos. If I don't record videos, I won't make money," I tell them. "I'm trying to go all-in on this. I finally found my passion! Three thousand is nothing to you guys and my entire career to me."
"You're right, Lucy. Three thousand isn't much to us now, but do you have any idea of the money we have already given you. We had to pull out a second mortgage to get you a trainer. I had to double my violin lessons to pay for your competitions and you know what that did to my arthritis. It wasn't until Gran died and left me her money that I could breathe. That's how Julliard was paid for."
"We lived in New York. You shopped at Barney's and Bergdorfs and forced us to go to private school. What do you mean you had to take out a second mortgage because of my dance? If you told me we couldn't afford the competitions and the trainers, I would have been relieved that it wasn't me quitting. Don't you realize that? The pressure you put on me nearly killed me!"
"Enough," Dad says as he puts his hands up, forcing us to fall silent. I know Lauren is lingering around here somewhere listening to all this. Adding this to her list of things to tease me about. I never talk back to my parents but tonight, I am saying things I have never said before. I no longer have any reason to stay silent. I think of Jack hiding out somewhere, encouraging me to speak my mind.
"I'm sorry Dad. I didn't mean to have an outburst," I mutter and my mother takes a swig of her wine.
"We'll need to discuss this," he says while glancing at my mom, "We're not writing any checks tonight."
"Don't worry about it. If it's going to be this big of a deal, then I don't want the loan. I'll figure it out," I tell them and push away from the counter. I had dinner with my sister and I watched dance videos with my mother. I did what was asked of me and now I can get out of here. I check the dining room but no one is at the table. I cross the house in a thunderous rage to check the living room but it's also empty. I glance down the hallway and see the light in my room is on with the door shut. I have no idea what Lauren and Jack are up to but I am ready to go home. I push the door to my room open and find Jack with his head down, standing in the middle of the room with his back to me. He flips around when he hears me and I instantly spot the letter in his hands.
"Where did you find that?" I ask hesitantly and he stays silent for a moment.
"Your sister had it," he finally says and now I want to die. Tears are now leaving mascara streaks down my cheeks and I choke out, "I am ready to go. I'll meet you at the car." I don't let him say anything as I dash back down the hallway. I can't believe Lauren found that letter. No wonder she thought this was all a ruse. It looks like Jack turned me down because I ended up engaged to Blake, and now I am proudly calling him my boyfriend. My shame propels me down the hall and I snatch my purse off the foyer table and make my way outside. I don't know what is taking Jack so long, but he's probably being a decent person and saying goodbye to my parents. I lean against the passenger door and goosebumps cover my bare arms.
I knew this dinner was going to suck. It's why I couldn't sleep last night and why I couldn't breathe today. I usually sling insults to Lauren when I see her, but I never give my parents attitude. I've shut up and sucked down all the pressure they put on me over years and now I am done. They never once asked me if I wanted to keep dancing. They never asked me if I wanted to move to Tucson. They never once asked me if I was okay. Ever. Not when I left Julliard, not when I left to Phoenix and not when I came back from New York. They just asked what I did to make it all go wrong.
I finally hear the front door open and Jack comes striding down the pathway. His hands are tucked into his khakis and he moves to come next to me instead of over to the driver's side. When his feet are planted in front of me, he grabs my cheeks in his hands and says, "I would have stopped you from getting on the plane." My knees buckle and I drop against his chest. I bury my face into his chest and I feel his hands in my hair.
"Why didn't you give me the letter, Luce?" He asks me gently and I heave into his shirt for a moment longer before I pull away. I try sucking in breaths but I am a weepy mess.
"You went to Mexico with Keeley. I was going to give you that letter at Maggie's white elephant party, but you didn't show up. I then saw on Instagram that you were on a flight to Cabo for Christmas. I came up here to spend Christmas with my family, it was still in my purse and I was afraid my mom or Lauren would find it in the trash so I stuck it in my drawer. I couldn't have Blake find it in New York."
"You still said yes to him. Without even talking to me," he says. "You never gave me the chance and then you were enraged when you found out I had feelings for you. I don't get it."
"Because if Blake hadn't cheated, I would have never known. You didn't stop me after I was engaged even though you had feelings," I cry out. "You told me you didn't trust Blake the night of the parking lot fight but you never said it was because you were into me. I would have married him and would have never known that I could have been with you. So yes, I was enraged."
"But you didn't tell me you loved me until this afternoon. When you had no problem saying it in this letter."
"Because I am so fucking scared to lose you, Jack. I didn't have you before, so it was easier to say it. I had to go to New York so my heart would stop pining for you. It was wrecking me having to work next to you, so in love with you while you dated woman after woman. Cabo was my breaking point. I knew I was being so dumb and didn't stand a chance. So now, to have you and lose this feeling would kill me. I have never felt this kind of happiness before and it scares the shit out of me because I do self-sabotage. I set myself up for failure and do stupid shit. I couldn't be the reason we didn't work out. I couldn't lose the one thing I have ever truly wanted. I am one-hundred percent in this relationship and I had to know if you were too before I said it."
"You're not a game to me, Lucy," he tells me sternly while placing his palms on my shoulders. "I am one-hundred percent in this too."
"Yeah, you told my sister you wanted to be my husband," I say with a laugh, easing some of the tension between us. "What was that about?"
"I wanted to protect you. It was rough watching all that in there."
"You didn't have to go overboard though. Now if we don't work out, I am going to have one more thing for Lauren to tease me over."
"You don't know that I don't want to be your husband."
"I don't think you know that either."
"I know I love you, and that I could see you as my wife one day." My heartbeat hums in my ears and I feel it beating me senselessly. He then adds, "I also know that you and your sister need to talk. Not fight. Not bicker. No low blows and snide remarks. You two need to sit down alone and hash all this out."
"I'm fine with her living across the country."
"Remember how you said Maggie comes across as very tough but is actually incredibly insecure?" I nod to him, "So is Lauren. I think you hate the same things about each other instead of letting them unite you."
"So you're Team Lauren now?" I snap and he quickly shakes his head no.
"I am Team Peace. And honestly, I think you'd be much happier dealing with your family if you didn't have to spar with her every time there is a family function. There is a ton of resentment toward each other when I think you are both really angry at your parents."
"Did she say something to you? When she gave you this letter?"
"It was a quick chat. And I am sure Marcus would love peaceful functions as well."
"Marcus is the only one in that house I like at the moment," I confess while blowing a long sigh out.
"Well, he must like you too because he asked me to give you this." Jack slips a piece of paper out from his pocket and after he hands it to me, I realize it's a check. I open it and see he's made it out for ten grand. In the memo line, it says, "Investment for LucyBakes." My wide eyes find Jack and I ask, "What is this? I can't accept this."
"He told me he believes in you and wants to see you fly. He said this will stay between you two if you decide to cash it." I stare at the three zeros as I say, "I can't take his money."
"Well you won't take mine and your parents seem to be cashed out."
"I'll take out a personal loan," I say as I shove the check back into his chest.
"And pay interest? Absolutely not. You're a real business now. You should take on investors."
"I don't know when or if I'll be able to pay them back. Startups are gambles."
"And we're willing to bet on you, Lucy. Fly or fail we want you to at least try. So sleep on it and decide if you want to take on Marcus or me. We're both here for you." I feel another wave of emotions come over me and I flop against his chest. He holds me while we sway and I have so many thoughts and emotions running through me that I am exhausted. I finally pull away from Jack and I do know one thing I am ready for. I peel away that strands of hair sticking to my wet face and find Jack's eyes as I ask, "Can we go back to the hotel now and have sex?" I watch a grin spread across his face and then hear the Jeep's doors unlock behind me.
"There is literally nothing else I'd rather do."