Whizzer had been in the hospital for almost a month, and his birthday was getting closer and closer, and honest to god, he was dreading it.
He looked over to the calendar in his room. His birthday was two days away. Two days. He could fucking die in those next two days, and never see his thirty-sixth birthday.
But he didn't. He didn't die in the few days before the day when everyone would celebrate that he was one year closer to death, but hell, who knew when he would die because he was so sick it could happen any day.
Would they celebrate? With Whizzer in their lives less, what if they forget? Could they possibly forget Whizzer's birthday?
He didn't want to know. He just wanted to see what would happen. If they forgot, then so be it. It's not like he could have a party anyway.
Whizzer shut his eyes and rolled onto his side, falling asleep peacefully for the first time in ages.
Happy Birthday, Whizzer! Everyone cheered. He was dreaming. Dreaming that he was healthy again, and that he was surrounded by his friends and family. They were having a party. Cordelia had made plenty of delicious food, Marvin had Whizzer's camera and was taking photos. There were plenty of presents, and Marvin was holding Whizzer's hands, standing in front of him. He got on one knee, and pulled out a small, velvet box. Whizzer, will you marry me? Marvin asked. Oh, yes, yes, yes! Of course!
His dream didn't last long. He slept the whole night, but he only had one dream. That dream. That wonderful dream.
When the clock struck midnight, there was one day left. Thirty-six. Jesus.
He was woken gently by Marvin. That made him so happy. It was like when he was well. Being carefully woken by a soft kiss before Marvin left for work...
Oh, how he missed it. He would probably never get to experience it again. Whizzer knew he was going to die. It wasn't a question. His day to go was nearing, and he wasn't so sure when his life would come to a halt and his story would end suddenly.
"Good morning, Whizzer." Marvin said softly. To Whizzer, his lover's voice was like a birdsong on a summer morning, or gentle rain in autumn. It was perfect.
"Morning, Marv." He smiled weakly up at his lover.
"I've got somethin' I wanna say to you, Whiz." Marvin said, sitting down on Whizzer's bed. "I've loved you for so long. I'll never stop loving you. I want you to be mine, forever and always. So..." He pulled out a small velvet box.
Whizzer gasped. It looked just like the one in his dream.
"Will you marry me? I- I know we can't exactly legally get married, but... there's ways."
The younger broke into sobs. "Oh, yes, yes, yes!! How could I say no?!"
Marvin smiled at him. Whizzer pulled Marvin close and kissed him as passionately as a dying man could, before Marvin broke the kiss to put a ring on his man.
They laid together for a few hours, talking quietly. Marvin read book out loud to Whizzer.
It felt like he was at home again.
It felt like he was okay.
As Marvin read, Whizzer drifted to sleep once more, and things felt as if they could get better. Maybe Whizzer could go home soon.
Some people believe that if they wish or hope or pray hard enough, it can save another person.
Marvin prayed so often. He wished on every star. And he hoped that Whizzer could be okay. He didn't know who he was praying to. He didn't believe that stars would make his wishes come true. He didn't think he could ever hope hard enough.
But sometimes, that's all someone knows how to do.
When Whizzer woke up, Marvin hadn't left. He was now sitting in the chair next to Whizzer's bed, still reading.
"What time is it?" Whizzer asked quietly. His voice was raspy, and his eyes were barely open.
"Almost 7 pm. You slept for awhile, I was worried. Are you feeling well enough to eat tonight?"
"Yeah. Can you see if Cordelia can bring soup?"
"Of course, baby."
Marvin stood up and went to find a phone, returning a few minutes later.
"She'll be here in an hour." He smiled at his lover, and laid by his side.
The hour passed quickly. Marvin and Whizzer spent most of it watching TV.
There was a gentle knock at the door. "Hiii..." Cordelia said softly as she opened the door. "I brought soup, as requested. How're you feeling, Whiz?"
"Fine."
Fine? He was nowhere close to fine. Whizzer was dying, his birthday was tomorrow, and he felt like he was taking a walk through hell. Whizzer Brown was not fine.
"Good to hear." Cordelia said. Whizzer sat up in his bed as Cordelia brought him his food.
Soup. Chicken noodle soup.
He loved Cordelia's soup, but having it every night for almost a month straight? It got exhausting. Sure, he had different food every now and then, but most nights, chicken noodle soup.
He smiled. He ate his food. He fell asleep.
He wished he were dead.
He dreamed that he was in high school again. He was with Marvin, and they were at the carnival, on a big ferris wheel. Marvin pulled Whizzer close when they got to the top, and they shared a kiss. How romantic...
He woke up to a rainy morning. Things felt fuzzy. What day was it...?
"Oh, shit."
He was thirty-six. Not officially until 5:27 pm, but technically, he was thirty-six, because that's how birthdays work.
He loved rainy days. What a perfect birthday present!
But he was alone.
So fucking alone!
He laughed softly.
The hours seemed to drone on as it got later and the rain got harder. Before he knew it, he lost all hope of even seeing his family. Who would want to celebrate a dying man's birthday anyways? Especially when it's probably his last...
Charlotte hadn't even came in to check up on him. Some other nurses did.
Whizzer was about to give up and just go back to sleep, when there was a knock at the door.
Guess who opened it?
Jason. Jason walked in with a big smile on his face.
"Whizzer, hey!"
Whizzer began to tear up as Jason walked over to him. Jason wrapped his arms around Whizzer for a hug and gave him a big old hug.
"Surprise!" He said, the rest of the group coming in. They were all holding presents, aside from Cordelia, who was holding food.
Whizzer weakly stood up and got out of his bed, making his way over to his family.
"Guuuuyyss...." He muttered. "You shouldn't have..."
"We had to. It'd be shitty not to." Cordelia said, placing the food on a table. Jason nodded.
"Yeah! Just because you're in the hospital doesn't mean you can't celebrate. Happy birthday, Whizzer." Jason hugged him again.
Marvin walked over to Whizzer and softly kissed him. "How're you feeling?" He asked.
Whizzed froze. He was not going to be honest.
"Better."
Lies are a special thing. Whizzer remembered being thirteen years old and staring in the mirror of his bathroom, his hair wet and floppy, a towel wrapped around his abdomen. I'll never lie to anybody I love, he told himself. Little did he know he was lying to himself about that. But did it really count? He said people he loved. So it's fine.
People surrounded him, but he still felt alone. The room felt dull, especially the pale, white walls. It wasn't a pleasant mixture, the depressing hospital and the rain and Whizzer's friends and family. It clashed horribly.
Whizzer was tired. He wanted to sleep, he wanted to be with Marvin and Jason, and he wanted to die all at the same time. If only he could do it all.
The noise of shuffling feet and the voices of his loved ones had been tuned out, he didn't want to hear it. His eyes had began to shut slowly, but he was broken from that trance when Jason tapped him gently.
"Whizzer, could you open my present? I really want you to see it."
"Of course." Whizzer replied with a smile. Was it a smile? He tried to smile. He knew it was a weak one, if anything.
Whizzer opened the box that Jason had handed him.
It was a photo, framed.
A photo of Whizzer, Jason, and Marvin.
Tears welled up in Whizzer's eyes. He pulled Jason close and hugged him tight, the way you're supposed to.
Whizzer laid back in his bed, his eyes fluttering shut.
He felt a hand in his, opened his eyes for just a second to see it was Marvin, and let them fall shut again.
He felt weightless as he slipped into deaths arms.
Happy Birthday, Whizzer.