Don't forget to Vote and Comment <3
Throwing the door open, she dashed inside her room, hyperventilating. Tears marred her face as they cascaded down. Steadily. Drop by drop. Just like the remnants of their love.
Her brain bad stopped functioning. Taking small steps, she ambled towards the corner of the room and slid down against the cold floor. The drawn back curtain covered her but the curtain over her mind had been lifted once again as her mind took a stroll down the memory lane. The grave past of hers.
Her Tormentor. The Marriage. The States. The House. The Room.
And her.
The whole idea of marriage appeared horrid to her now. She trusted Saqib; but more than that, she trusted her father.
And she trusted Azlan more than the two of them.
But the fear, oh, the fear was great. Enormous to be precise. She knew he could never do such thing but the fear had been so deeply ingrained in her mind that she couldn’t just flick it away. It would always be there, because she hadn’t just heard the horrible tale; she had experienced it. Lived it. And she had felt it in her bones. Every mark, every scar in her body was a testament of that.
She was a walking reminder of it. Her blemished body was her truth. Not Azlan. Not Neelum Valley. Not the school. But her violent past, which didn’t feel so far anymore. She could hear her screams from near now. It was all snapping in her head as if happening right away. Her wretched pleas, begging for his mercy. Her screams. His blusters.
The letters engraved on her back.
One memory after another spiralled down in front of her, merging together, hauling her back towards perpetual labyrinth.
Wrapping her arms around her torso, she concealed herself. He wasn’t here, she was aware. He wasn’t alive, she knew that too. But he was very much alive in her memory, and that was enough to rattle her.
She took a deep breath. She couldn’t let him get to her again. She couldn’t let him win ever after defeating him.
She didn’t know if it was the cold that had seeped into her or the chills running inside her, but she felt terribly cold. In her attempt to secure herself against it, she walked towards the cupboard and discarded the first article of clothing. Even though the room was bathing in darkness she could still not misjudge that particular fabric.
That half burnt mess.
Heaving a deep breath she enveloped it around herself and closed her eyes. And in that moment, she felt safe. Secure.
She looked out the window. The snow fell as smoothly as it could, intensifying the cold. But somehow she felt warmth.
“I’m safe.” She whispered to herself as she cinched the jacket closer and pressed her hands against her heart. The beating was coming to a steady movement now. She was safe.
But the question still stood. Would she ever be able to consent to what Azlan had proposed with so much conviction and hope?
She did love him. There were no two ways about it. She might have never admitted her partiality towards him to him, but she had acknowledged her feelings long back. And she was sure of them.
But love is not enough. Trust is another most vital ingredient to form a relationship. You can live without love, but you cannot live without trust and respect.
Even though she did trust him, she still couldn’t bring herself together to come terms with the idea of sharing her life with someone again; to trust someone again. It was difficult, beyond difficult for her. And she didn’t know if she’d ever be able to come over this unbridled fear of hers.
Then there was another reason for her repulsion towards the idea of their alliance.
She wasn’t just scared for herself. She was scared about him, too.
She had all the reasons to be.
Just a few miles away from her, he was spotted right where she had left him. Snow was falling on him as it picked up speed, but he didn’t feel its weight because the weight of his heart was heavier. Even heavier than the mountains which were crooning the melancholic song of separation in slow whispers.
Even the kind weather seemed unkind. But so was the brusque turn his life had just taken. An acrid taste burnt in his mouth as he recalled the event that had happened just an hour ago.
Just how obliterate this last hour had been proved.
Just how ephemeral their love had been
******
“I’ll just get done with the rest of the packing.” Asmara’s voice jarred through the room as soon as she came out of shower.
Arham who was busy on call, craned his head towards her; the locks of her damp hair sliding from the back and forming a curtain around her. He smiled. Few days back who could’ve thought the same people who promised each other to part ways would only part way to find it back to each other only.
Shoving the phone in his pocket, he took calculated steps towards her. “I can’t wait for you to turn our house into a home.”
She heaved up from where she was bent over her back placed on the bed and turned towards him. She posed a smile, but the marks of exhaustion stamped all over her face couldn’t be obscured by it. She was visibly frazzled with so much going on. His heart ached to take her away. Far away from this mess. She deserved to live a normal life without constantly having to worry about her life being at stake.
He moved the stray tendril of her hair away from her face. His fingers grazing over her soft skin. Her toes curled and she shuddered a breath, their eyes fixed into each other.
“I can’t believe You and I are finally We.” His voice was low as he brandished his knuckles along the length of her blushed cheek until his thumb settled over her lower lip. He traced it smoothly. She gulped, but stayed rooted. He took another step towards her until there remained no distance between them and all the curtains between them had been removed once and for all.
******
The day had finally arrived. The day of separation. The day of union.
Separation of two best friends.
Union of two souls.
“I can’t believe you are leaving me for this cringe fest.” Safa embraced Asmara in a tight hug as she reviled about Arham.
Everything had gone just according to the plan.
Safa had called Waliya for help, and Ammara and Annara had been successfully rescued by the NGO. And now it was time for Kahsana, Asmara, and Arham’s leave as they stood outside the annexe. Every person she held close to her was right now here in here vicinity.
Except for the one who was her own.
He wasn’t here. Not in sight. She just assumed he had had gone back to Islamabad, and rightly so. After how she had reacted, there was no reason for him to stay back anyway.
“Thank you for the heart-warming Epithet.” Arham, who was loading the bags in car intervened.”
She just rolled her eyes in return and hollered, “SISTERS BEFORE MISTERS” still glued to Asmara who giggled in response.
“Did you convey our thanks to your sister?” Kashana interrogated as she patted Safa’s head as soon as she pulled away from the hug.
“I did.” She grinned as she hugged Kashana.
Safa and Waliya were constantly updated about each other as they talked over phone daily. Waliya had been doing wonderfully in her job. She wouldn’t have much time to spare but always made sure to take out some for her sister. The two sisters had finally reunited after years and they intended on keeping their contact intact now. There was no way they were going to let it sever.
Her job was risky. It included her going to slums, facing ill-tempered men, and hunting down women who were in dire need of help, which would always turn to be many. The number would only increase day by day. So many women in this country, and even ample in this world suffer from some kind of abuse; and it only broke her heart that she wasn’t able to help each one of them. But whatever little she was doing to help them was still huge, considering how getting help is not even an option for them. But now with her assistance they were able to secure their lives, and that was not meagre in any way.
Those women were her family and she was thriving happily with them.
“I’m gonna miss you.” Asmara cried as she held Safa’s hand.
“I’m gonna miss you, too.” She squawked in scratchy voice as she hugged Asmara again.
“Aise naa jaao chor k, k dil abhi bhara nahi.” (Do not go away like this, as the heart hasn’t been fulfilled yet.)
Arham hummed the melancholic tune innocently all the while busy in his work at hand.
Safa narrowed her eyes at him.
“No, you can very much go away.” She blustered at him and he posed a phony smile. “May God give you patience with this incorrigible sleaze.” She sobbed in to Asmara.
“Amen to that.” Asmara removed an invisible lint from Safa’s cashmere while Arham raised his eye at her. She shrugged nonchalantly in return.
In few minutes the car was out pf sight. Wiping her tears, Safa trudged back to the place which was her definition of home. Not anymore.
Coming to a halt at their room’s doorstep, she scanned the premises with sombre eyes. The part of the cupboard which was in Asmara’s use was empty now, so were the writing table and the bed. There was no article in the room that belonged to her best friend anymore. No traces that could prove Asmara ever lived here.
But the memories were still very much there. Each and every moment, sad and happy, was inscribed permanently in her mind; and she could rejoice it any time she wanted.
But memories are not same as having the person they belong to being close to you.
Asmara wasn’t here anymore and that was the saddest reality. She was happy for her, but she also missed her immensely.
She was once again lonely.
As if on cue, someone came and stood some feet behind her. She didn’t need to guess who it was. Taking a deep breath, she turned around and surely it was the person she had guessed.
He was here.
How could he be not when he knew the pain she’d be in once Asmara left? She needed him right now and he wouldn’t step away from providing her the solace she craved right now. So what if she had broken his heart? She had all the rights to because it was hers only.
“She left.” She shrugged her one shoulder as the tears gathered on the brim of her eyes. Her voice was raspy, containing the exhaustion of thousand years.
As of this moment she didn’t care about anything else. Her mind was too preoccupied, and her heart was in too much agony to recall the other lugubrious happenings. She longed for comfort.
Taking long strides, he stood before her. “It’s okay.” He held her hand gingerly and ran soothing circles on it with his thumb. She nodded looking right in his eyes.
He moved towards the couch and she followed him in trance, her hand still in his hold. He settled her on the couch and then went towards the room. Her eyes followed him confusedly. Soon he was back with a comforter in his hand.
He draped it warily over her without meeting her eyes while her gaze was nowhere but on him, studying each and every movement of him with close scrutiny.
Even after being caused so much pain by her, he was still there for her. Without complaining.
“Have you eaten something?” His question pulled her out of her daze with a jerk.
“Huh?”
“Have you eaten something?” He repeated as his eyebrows were arched upward, his face contorted in concern.
“I’m not hungry.”
“That’s not the answer to my question.”
She all but stayed quiet. Without waiting any further for her response, he walked over to the kitchen aisle. Her eye darted at him, but she didn’t dare to utter a word.
He was so stubborn. And so freaking caring it made her feel ashamed of herself.
The cracking pf utensils against each other reached her ears and soon the lingering aroma of pancakes and coffee wafted around the whole house. She closed her eyes, thriving in the smell.
When was the last time someone had made food for her with love? Maybe her mother when she was somewhere around 5? She couldn’t even recall.
Coming out of the kitchen, his eyes settled on her. With her head resting on the back and eyes closed, she looked so much at peace right now.
Without making any noise, he put the plate and cup as carefully on the table as he could and folding his arms on his hard chest, looked at the serene sight before him. His lip lifted into a heartfelt smile. What he wouldn’t do to see her this content all the time! She deserved it more than anyone else in the world.
Soon her eyes fluttered open but she didn’t jerk back by the sudden sight in front of her.
He bent down and pushed the direction of fork towards her. She grabbed the object quietly. She was way too tongue tied and contrite to say anything at the moment.
The scrumptious bite dissolved into her mouth. “This is so good.” She couldn’t help but comment with her half-stuffed mouth.
“Thank you. Having lived in States for a chunk of my life I’ve mastered the art of culinary.” He curtsied, making her laugh, and they felt suddenly at ease.
“Why aren’t you eating?” Her brows pinched as she asked him to sit and he dragged a chair opposite to her.
“I’m not hungry.”
She snorted before extending a spoonful towards him. He halted for a second as he looked at her abruptly.
“Come’n, go on.” She frowned, undeterred.
Moving his head forward, he grabbed the fork from its neck as his fingers touched hers slightly. Something shifted within her but she didn’t let it snow on her face.
“You’re right. This is actually really good.”
Because there was a secret element added in it. And whenever that secret element is added, even the blandest of food become most delicious.
It was the loud sound oozing out from his phone that finally hurled them out of their stupor. He picked up the call and Safa got back to digging into the pancakes.
“What happened?” The alarm in his voice made her whip her head in his direction. Soon she was on her feet.
“Alright, I’m coming.” He replied hastily.
“What’s going on? Did something happen to Asmara? Is everyone okay?” She inquired fervently.
“It’s not them.”
“Who’s it, then?” She was running out of patience.
“Raina.” He merely whispered.
******
A/N
AsSalamuAlaikum, Hello, Namaste, Bonjour.
I AM FRICKIN' DYING AFTER TYPING THIS WHOLE CHAPTER ON MY PHONE.
It took so much effort istg. I can actually ugly cry right now which won't even be a problem, considering I'll have to take care of the 'cry' part only. The rest will do itself.
Y'all just pray my laptop gets fixed soon; although I can see it taking its last breaths already.
Anyhoo, enough about my sad miserable life. How did you find the chapter?
MAKE THE AUTHOR HAPPY, Y'ALL. YOU CAN ALREADY SEE HOW MISERABLE MY LIFE ALREADY IS!