Maddy
"Five letter word."
"Cake."
"That's four."
"Oh. Orange."
"That's six."
"Damn it. Pants."
"Uh-Uh. Nothing plural."
"What the fuck?"
"That's the rules."
"Juice."
"Finally," I roll my eyes. Novalee, Max, and I all lay on her bed, which is bigger than a regular twin bed since she resides in her dorm room alone. We lay compacted, even then, all staring up at the ceiling as we play the stupidest game. Then again, Max might be the stupid one for not being able to think of a five-letter word. "Okay, Maddy. Eight letter word, go," Nova is the one instructing us.
"November," I say quickly. "My birthday month," Max says. Of course, my best friend has to be a fucking Scorpio. We're compatible. As friends. "Chris' birthday month too," Nova says. I turn to Max and he turns to me. We both roll our eyes at Nova. I'm jealous of her, I don't know about Max. "Speaking of Chris, where is he? I'm hungry," Max groans. Nova picks up her phone and looks at her texts.
She frowns. "He said he was ten minutes away, fifteen minutes ago." Max sighs and sits on the bed. I have a clear view of Nova now as she types away quickly on her phone. "He probably got stuck in traffic," I tell her. She nods her head and locks her phone setting it down on her chest again.
Max lays back down. "Which girl is prettier?" he asks. He shows us a picture of a girl on his phone. A pretty blonde with green eyes. "Her or," he swipes right in his camera roll "or her?" This girl is another blonde, brown eyes. "They're both pretty," Nova says. "Why?" I ask. "Just need some opinions," he shrugs his huge shoulders. "Second girl," I say honestly. I think they're both pretty but the second one looks more like Max's type. I know we probably just chose who he's going to hook up with next.
A knock at the door catches all of our attention. Nova gets up quickly and jogs towards the door. Max and I both sit up on the bed. "Sorry I took long, I took a quick detour to my house. Cgc needed my suitcase and couldn't fucking find it," Valdez shakes his head and sets the bags of food on Nova's vanity. Cgc's going to New Orleans for a couple of days per his father's request. We're not on vacation or anything but he kissed his professor's ass to let him miss for a couple of days. He told Max and me about it yesterday, not many details.
He starts taking out the food we ordered and hands it to each of us. "California rolls, baby," I say, removing the top from my plate. Valdez throws me a container full of soy sauce and I catch it easily. Nova and him both eat at her vanity while Max and I take over the bed. "How's work going without my girl, Maddy?" Valdez smirks, picking up one of his rolls. I roll my eyes, swallowing the food in my mouth before speaking. Nova quit last week and apologized heavily for it. I obviously don't care.
I knew she was as miserable as she looked. Even though I still hate working, I've gotten used to it already and have made friends with a couple of my other co-workers. After a couple of weeks, Nova and I wouldn't really get that many shifts together so it kind of sucked anyway. "Work is shitty in general. But it's not completely terrible," I say in no regard to the fact that my best friend isn't working there anymore. "Sorry, I just got so busy since I'm learning my scripts already," Nov apologizes for the umpteenth time. "I know, it's fine, really," I say firmly.
She nods quickly and continues eating. "Bro, did you know Xander is smashing Keyla Sanchez?" Max says. I immediately choke on pieces of rice from my California roll. I cough loudly, catching everyone's attention. Max pats my back as I try and stop myself from coughing by drinking water. What the fuck did he just say? "You good, Mads?" Max says, patting my back. I nod my head but don't say anything as I'm still getting myself put together again.
He looks at me for a little while longer before looking back at Valdez. You okay? Nova mouths. I nod and wipe my damp mouth with a napkin. "No, he's not. He hasn't been seeing anyone in a while," Valdez says with furrowed eyebrows. That's not completely true. Max tilts his head and shoves a roll onto his mouth, using his hands instead of chopsticks like the rest of us. "Really?" he asks. Valdez takes a long swig of water and nods. "Yeah, no. He's chilling, focusing on football. Who told you that?" he asks curiously.
"She did. I should've figured she was lying," he frowns. Valdez's eyes widen a bit and he shakes his head. "Yeah, no. She lies a lot. I think he's slept with her before but recently? Nah." Why am I present for conversations like this? Ugh. I don't say anything and even try avoiding eye contact with the two guys in the room. Obviously, my ears pay close attention to their conversation. I believe Valdez though especially since Xander said we weren't going to sleep with other people. I trust him enough to trust him on that.
He's also definitely not batting an eye at any woman whenever I'm around. It's cute, I have him wrapped around my finger and I like it. I smile slightly at the thought, but it fades quickly. I don't want to be smiling to myself like an idiot.
"Her best friend did sleep with Rhys though," Valdez laughs. Nova smiles at her boyfriend for no real reason. "Ohh, Kennedy right? She's fucking hot," Max says. Nova and I both make disgusted faces at each other. These guys gossip more than we do. Sometimes.
After I finish up my food, I end up coming back to my room to finish off my bathing suits. I'm almost done, putting some of the finishing touches on each of them. I've had Max over a couple of times to try on the men's suits already and he said they are really good. The ones for women are all done at this point, I'm just fixing up the male ones one last time. "Hey, can I ask you something?" Nat says from her bed behind me. I focus on sewing, but I pay attention, nodding my head at her.
"You've been disappearing a lot at night lately. Any hot reason why?" she says. I tense a little bit. I knew she'd figure it out eventually especially since she's my fucking roommate. She's here most of the time when I randomly leave at night or sometimes even in the middle of the day to hang out with Xander. I turn off the sewing machine and spin in my chair to face her. Her red hair is up in a bun and she's dressed ready for bed even though it's only 6 pm.
"Maybe," I say lowly. She smiles instantly. "Who?" she asks. Normally I wouldn't lie to Nat, but I don't want anyone knowing about Xander and me. We both promised we wouldn't tell anyone about this thing we have going on. I won't break that promise and tell Nat. "I've just been sleeping with some different guys every now and then. I hadn't slept with anyone in a while, you know this, so I guess I've just been getting back into the game," I lie. I can't say it's one specific guy because then she'd ask for a name. I cannot give her a name.
She nods, taking in my response. "I'm so glad, Mads. You deserve it, it had been long enough. As long as you're being safe and having lots of fun," she smiles. A smile on my face grows as well. "Oh, I'm having lots of fun. Trust."
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"Why is your house always so cold?" I pull the covers up my shoulders and tuck them into my body. The fact that I'm naked doesn't make this any better. Xander scoots closer to me on his bed and wraps one of his arms around my bare waist, pulling me close to him. "I'll give you some of my bodily heat," he winks. I roll my eyes but still press myself closer to him under the covers.
I once again snuck into Xander's house. We've done this a couple of more times after the first time. It's a bit easier now but sometimes we just stick to seeing each other out of each other's places. Keeping a secret hookup a secret is hard. Luckily, we haven't been caught. "Do you want me to turn the AC off?" he asks. I shake my head quickly. "No, it's okay. I'm fine," I smile small. He kisses my lips quickly before laying his head back on his pillow.
He stares at me for a long while. "What?" I say. He shakes his head. "I missed you." Uhhhhhh. "You know like having sex with you, is what I meant," he clarifies. Oh. I slowly nod, "Same. But we just had sex like two days ago." I try not to laugh at this. He actually laughs — only a huff. "Yeah I know, but I want you all the fucking time." His hand slides down to my ass and he cups it. We just finished having sex, but my body heats again. I feel him harden against me too. "I can never catch a break around you," I breathe out.
He smirks, "You want a break? I'll give you one." He lets go and his hand finds my waist again. I roll my eyes and look away from him. He chuckles lightly. I lift my hand to touch the side of his face, hoping it's not too cold. He doesn't flinch, but I feel the warmth from his skin connect with my colder hand. I might be cold-blooded or something, I can never get warm quick and my hands are always slightly cold.
I rub his freckled cheek with my thumb. I like freckles, especially his light ones. He's too pretty for his own good. I despise it. And him. "How's football been? Getting ready to win a Natty next year?" I ask. We were so close this past year but just missed it. Oak Hill is a football school meaning more than the players were disappointed about going that far just to lose. They tried their best though, I guess. "We'll see," he tells me.
"Just catch the ball when Cgc passes it to you next time," I tease. He chuckles, taking no offense to this. I've learned this by now. "That defender was on my ass, holding the fuck outta me," he says. This is true. We all saw it on the big screen that hung above the stadium in Miami, Florida. The referees that game were the stupidest people ever. They'd either call unnecessary flags or no flags at all. No in-between. We could have been given some yardage for the play even if the defender picked it off, but no flags were called.
We saw coach Carter yelling at the refs on the sidelines. It was bad. Both Xan and Cgc were pissed off after that play which basically lost us the whole thing. "Yeah, it was bad, I remember," I agree with him. "That whole game was ass from the beginning. We could've played better too, though," he shrugs. Also, true. We were very out of sync that day.
Before I can reply, his phone rings. He sits up and turns around to pick it up from the nightstand. He answers quickly. "Hey, mom? Everything okay?" It's 12 am here meaning it's 3 in the morning in New York. I sit up too, trying to read him to see if anything might be wrong. "Yeah, I'm fine, mom. It's all good." He holds the phone to his ear with his shoulder and uncovers himself. He slips on his briefs quickly, his sweatpants following after.
He gets up and points at his phone to me before leaving. I only nod. I hope everything's okay. I couldn't hear his mom saying anything just him assuring her that he was okay. It reminds me of the time when I ran into him on my way to class. He was on the phone with his mom and I remember him telling her he was fine multiple times. Just like he did now. He also said something about her not knowing what he goes through.
I know Xander is a lot deeper than he looks. By that, I mean, he's a very complex person. No one is entirely what you see from the outside. I know I've seen a certain part of him, but there's more. I've been trying to figure out what that more is. I never push him, of course. He would never push me either. But I'm dying to find out more for some reason. My guess now is that it has something to do with grief. What he went through with his father. This isn't the first time I've seen his mom call and even text him whenever we're together.
What exactly do you go through that your mother doesn't go through herself, Xander? They both lost someone important to them. She knows exactly what he's going through. So maybe it's something else. Maybe I can't figure it out because I've never been a part of a family who even asks if I'm fine. I've heard the question from friends but never from a family member. Maybe it's just a question Xander and his mom ask each other because they actually have a relationship.
I don't want to think about my mother and father, not right now.
The door swings open and I flinch. Luckily, it's just Xander again. He closes the door quietly and locks it again. "Everything okay?" I ask immediately. He finds his way back into bed, getting under the covers with me again. "Yeah, everything's fine." Fine. There's that word again. I nod my head. "It's pretty late in New York," I say, pushing the subject just a little. "My mom just had some kind of nightmare. She gets them occasionally ever since. . . my dad passed," he says. I nod my head in understanding and rub his arm lightly. "I hope she's okay," I say honestly.
He gives me a weak smile. "She's fine," he tells me. Fine. I nod again, still rubbing his arm in comfort. "Are you? Okay, I mean," I ask. He nods his head this time and lays back down. I follow after him and he scoots closer to me again. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me, Maddy," he says softly, breathing out a deep breath.
But I do worry. I worry way too much.