Waiting is sign of true love and patience. Anyone can say I love you, but not everyone can wait and prove it's true.
🍸❤.
Love is happiness and sorrows. It's tears of joy and tears of pain.
Love is a friend and sometimes, love is an enemy.
But love is love. And it's wonderful if you find it in this world of ours.
I found it.
I found love when I was ten.
I still remember all the words I called it back then. Like. Crush. Puppy love. But it's still love. I remember feeling butterflies swimming in my belly whenever I saw this cute next door neighbor kid. Who always had a smile on his face. Especially when he was with his mother.
I wanted that happiness.
But above all, I wanted to be the one to give it to him.
And when he said hello for the first time, I knew we could be good friends. We could stay our whole lives as neighbors. Together in one house maybe one day.
I Was young. What did I know? Only when I reached highschool, my feelings got stronger. Whenever I saw him laughing with someone else, I got hurt. I only wanted him to see me. To look at me. To share his happiness with me.
And when I almost lost him this morning, I saw my happiness drifting away. Living me breathless.
Lance is love. Lance is joy. Lance is everything in happiness. And I am glad I have him beside me.
They say, sometimes people need time apart to get stronger. I don’t believe that.
I am stronger when he is by my side. I am happier when he smiles at me. I am crazier when he is crazy with me. Even when he breaks my heart and I lose all hope, I still get back from him, because he is my world. My everything.
I watch him peacefully sleeping in my arms. My heart sings in joy.
My heart loves this man. I love this man.
And I will do anything to show him just that.
I take my phone at the night stand and look at the watch, it's 4am in the morning. I laugh at myself. Once upon a time, I could watch him sleep like this while my heart screams to get him back, but now? Now I am watching him while my heart sings hallelujah after getting him back.
I am filled with joy. Unconditional joy I can't explain.
I watch him one more time.
My world is okay. We are okay. We will be okay. One more day at a time. I will fix everything between us.
With that in mind, I start messaging the most important people. People who helped today. everyone who made sure I could get my man back in my arms.
I make plans. I make deals. And the fun part is, most of them reply immediately and I wonder. Were they waiting for feedback all this time?
When I am done, I put the phone aside and hold my husband once more. He shifts but gets closer to me.
I smile and kiss his forehead. “ I love you.” I whisper. “and I hope tomorrow will be the beginning of us.”
***
“Is he still sleeping?” mom asks.
“What do you think, he probably broke his hip or something.” Evan says. The guy has no filter.
“Evan.” I warn. But a smile on my face.
Evan is my friend. I have known him since highschool till university. He is the one who introduced his brother to me yesterday when I needed help and he wasn’t in town.
“ He is tired,” I say. Pouring a glass of wine to mom. And Ewen and Charles. Then Evan and his date Kent. Then some old handsome guy who came with mom.
I look back at mom and she winks at me, sipping her wine with a grin on her face.
“Damn woman, you still got it don’t you. That man is fiiiine.” I tease her.
“I know.” She teases back. A copy right of her son lance. From the confidence, to their soul. They are wonderful people. And I am glad to know them. To have them in my life.
And just as a cue, lance is running down the stairs, then stops.
My heart stops.
Oh no.
That’s not what I meant.
I start walking to him and he stops me. Raises his hand and tries to take a breath.
He looks around, then his eyes land back to mine. Shit shit shit.
“lance, babe.”
“you…”he tries to say something. The papers on his one hand, the ring on the other. Tears threatened to escape his eyes.
How many times do I make this man cry?
“I love you.” I say. I say the words we both know. In a language we both love. “ I love you,” I say again. taking steps to follow him at the top of the stairs.
He looks at me. Relief washes over him.
“but?” he raises the ring. I nod.
“but listen to me. I have a lot to tell you. To ask you. And I hope you will say yes.” I reach the stair he was standing, took his hand in mine then lead him down where everyone is waiting.
I feel him shaking. Trembling.
I need to say this fast before he breaks down. He needs to know.
“There is a reason why I took off my wedding ring.” I tell him.
“you never did.” His voice is hurt. Uncertain.
“I know. And I never will.” I assure him.
He nods. Skeptically.
“We have been through a lot together. An emotional roller coaster if I can say that and the last thing I want to do is put us through that pit again. but lance, it's through that pit that I got to love you more. It's through that pit I got to know the man I married loves me to the moon and back.” I say.
“I do.” He whispers.
“I know. And that is why I want to ask you one question. But before that, I wanted to know if you still want to divorce me.”
Lance answers me by shredding the papers into tiny pieces with a speed I have never seen. Then he looks at me, saying nothing else.
He takes a breath. I do too. Only I know what I want to ask is a good question. The best one if not. “Will you let me love you for the next 70 years?”
The question lingers in the air before it settles in his mind. Then his heart.
It looks like he is letting my words sink in. his expression changes every millisecond.
I don’t push him. I wait for him. Something I will do as long as I have him beside me.
He is everything.
“I don’t want this one more valentine to end just because the day is over. I want to have an everyday valentine with you. I want to make you happy every single time. To cherish you and love you with everything I have got. I want to make love to you every day. When I am happy, when I am sad. Even when I am apologizing.”
Lance blushes.
“I want to sing every love song when I am inside you. And you inside.” I say.
He takes his hands and tries to close my mouth. To shush me up about our sex life. I lick his hand and he takes it away.
Evan said something and people start laughing. Raising their glass in agreement.
Lance hides his face in his hand. But he is laughing. That’s a good sign for me.
I touch his chin, raise his head for him to look at me. He needs to see me when I say the next words. He needs to see my eyes. My sincerity. My truth.
“What if I never found you that night when we were kids? What if we weren’t best friends? What if I never kissed you that night and told you I loved you?” I say.
He blinks.
“The answer to all that is, I would never have this feeling in my heart. This gift of loving you. I would never get to feel your love. To love you back in return. Baby I would never get this gift to have you as my husband.
You are all I want.
I wanted you. Not someone like you. No. I wanted you. I wanted to give my life to you until the end of time. I wanted forever and I wanted it with you, Lance Rollins.” I confess, “I still do.”
“I need you now more than I wanted you as teenagers. I need to hold you everyday because it's in you that I see beauty. It's in you I see my world. My forever.
I need to love you until I am 70. I need to wake up next to you then. Come down stairs and prepare tea for you, and watch you struggle to get here with your walking stick and a certain grandchild making it impossible for you to pass.”
At this time, Lance is laughing. I am too.
“I want to laugh my lungs out when you try to hit your grandchild with that stick and he runs off screaming granddaddy clay.” I say.
And that adds to another laughter erupting from our loved ones.
I take his hands in mine. Caress them as I try to say everything I have thought about. Every possible future I have dreamed of with him.
“ I want to watch you nag our third son to get married already and give us more grandchildren. And he will probably say something like the ones you have are driving you crazy and yet you want more, and you throw a stick at him.
I want to watch you hold that last born of ours who comes home with a broken heart, but you make it better, even to the point of tracking down the bastard and breaking his legs.
“oh I will do that.” He laughs. “won't we Charles?” he turns to the direction where Charles is standing. Everyone laughs at him.
“Are you kidding? I will be your backup. Someone hurt my baby girl, they will answer to me…in hell.” Charles says like it's no big deal. It might not be. The guy loves his daughter, Katara like no other.
“and,” ewen starts, lifting his hand up. “ We will probably try our best to get them out of jail.” He smiles at his husband who gives him glares then kisses his forehead.
I agree with Ewen. A smile formed on my lips. In my heart too.
Mom laughs her heart out. She is happy. Everyone in this room is happy.
“I want one day, we sit around with our new friends, Ewen and Charles, Evans and Kent and think about the good old days. As we drink coffee and talk about the kids of that generation. Making fun of them probably.”
“ We will definitely do that.” Charles chimes in. his angelic voice reached everyone in the room.
It’s a happy feeling.
It feels like we have lived that life already.
It's beautiful. And I can't wait to live it with the man I love.
When you love someone, it feels so right to know the truth.
Maybe I'm wrong.
But I want to be sure this time.
“When we made love last night, lance.” Someone clears his throat but I don’t pay attention to anyone else right now.
Lance bites his lips. A blush forming on his face. Yeah right. He remembers it very well.
I do too and it seems my cock does it too when it twitches in my jeans. Hello, not now.
“I can't say I have been waiting for a guy like you lance. Because I had you for a long time. A guy like you has been mine for as long as I can remember. for the past 24 years. And in those years, you have made me feel alive. Feel loved. Feel blessed and god knows I am fucking blessed to be married to you lance.
I know what is beautiful when I look at you.
I know what love is, looking at you.
I know what forever is, only looking at your lance.
For so long, I have been running away. Even if you ask me now why I was running, the answer is I don’t know. I just felt like that was the best solution. But I was wrong. So wrong.
But this time I want to be sure. If you give me another chance. Be mine once again. give me another 70 years of your life to me.
To us.”
I hold my breath, waiting for his answer. Waiting for what he has to say. I mean the room is completely silent. But I don’t want to look at them.
Just him.
Just lance.
I get down on one knee.
He gasps. Closes his mouth with his hand.
Eyes glittering. Shining with love.
And here on my knees, with him staring at me. Staring at my soul.
I am ready to change the world for him. Do all the impossibles for him.
Lance finally, finally smiles. “you,” he shakes his head, “ you are impossible.” He says then in a minute he is all over my face. Kissing me and laughing.
People whistle and cheer around us as my husband literally devours me in front of them.
I grab the back of his head and kiss him more. I kissed him until I felt things changing and sweet lord I didn’t want to give these people a porn show.
“you didn’t say yes.” I tell my flushed husband when I break the kiss.
He lifts his brow, looks at the platinum couple rings, then, “ say that again. say you love me one more time.”
Fucking yes. “ I love you.” I say. I added another, “I love you.” And another, “I love you Lance Rollins Dane.”
“ Yes. Yes, yessssss. Yes, a hundred times, yes.” He is all laughing as tears run down his face.
People might think this is our first time. Our first proposal. But what can I say? I have proposed to this man three times. And all three times, he said yes.
I am one lucky bastard
I put the ring on him. He puts one on mine too.
He says he loves me and how crazy I am to put this all together. To surprise him like this. How I made his heart break when he thought I was divorcing him.
I couldn’t do that. I can't do that. So I answer him the way I know. We both know.
“I learned what a fool I am.” I tell him.
“You are a fool.”
“that I am.”
“don’t run away next time. When things get hard, please don’t run away.” He pleads. “ It's hard to be the one left behind.”
“The only running I will be doing from now on is to you. To your arms. To your heart.” I say.
“aww! Such a romantic.” He beams.
“I am learning from the best.” I say. I turn to look at a woman who is like a mother to me. Mom. I smile at her and she winks at me.
“that I agree.” The man who came with her says. His eyes were fixed on her the whole time. Then he leans and kisses her cheeks.
“Can you teach me Mrs Rollins, because I need some of that to win this guy here.” Evan says. Raise his hand then pointed to Kent.
Charles raised his glass, “I need those lessons too,” he says then turns to look at his husband almost innocently. Almost. “and maybe the ones in the bedroom too.” He adds In a whisper. A whisper that we all heard because it was that loud.
Mom laughs out loud. We all did.
Ewen tries his best not to laugh but fails. Charles just shrugs like what he said is nothing.
“You should all join my class.” Mom says. Raising her wine glass, winking at us.
We follow the action and drink in unison.
This is happiness.
This is love.
This is everything.
I turn and tell my husband, “I love you so fucking much.”
Then I kiss the hell out of my husband.
For the next 70 years to come. He is mine.
🍸❤.