Zayn was standing behind the front counter at the dry cleaners and he was watching Louis count the cash in the drawer so they could leave for the night. He had just explained to Louis the newest clues to look for in order to find the coat thief.
"So basically what I'm saying is that based on the time frame and the type of person we're looking for, you only have three employees to keep an eye out on. So I want you to do that for me. Okay?"
"Gotcha."
"You remember the three employees, right?"
"Lan Zhao, the cute little old lady, Gabriel Hudson, the really weird manager that wears that stupid black hat to work every day no matter how hot or cold it is and Rex Hunter, the shady college freshman."
"Yes. Do you think you can do that? Do you feel comfortable?"
He stuffed the money into an envelope and then began to fill out paperwork about the final count of the drawer.
"Yes. I told you before that I was going to investigate for you, Zayn. So I will. But I do thank you for the tip about who it could be. It makes it so much easier to choose from the pool of people. How did you come up with those clues anyway?"
"I was... just out and about and the idea came to me. Kind of. In a way."
Louis smiled.
"Hmm. You are one of a kind there, Zayn. You know that?"
"I am?"
"You are. You're humble, you're sweet and you're such a gentleman."
"You believe that?"
"Of course I believe that, silly."
He stopped writing and looked at him softly.
"I've been thinking about the other night. When we had sex for the first time. While dating someone, I've never waited that long in my life. But I'm really glad I did. I like that we put emphasis on the right parts of a relationship. You know... not jumping into each other's beds right away. We actually explored our personalities first."
Zayn giggled nervously.
"We did."
"So... I think we should continue to be serious."
"Be serious?"
"Yeah. We should keep valuing things other than sex in this relationship."
"Meaning..."
"I want you to meet my family."
Zayn gasped before he realized it.
"What?"
"Relax." Louis laughed out.
"It's just meeting my family. And it's not even that bad. It's just me, my sixteen year old twin sisters, Daisy and Phoebe, and my step dad. You know this."
"Right. I know. "
"So let's figure out a day for you to meet them. They hear about you from me all the time, but they still don't know who you actually are. We should end that."
Right away, Zayn felt his hands get clammy. This could not be a good thing in any way.
"I'm not sure that's a good idea. Your step dad might not even like me."
"Once again, relax. The more he knows about you, the better he'll feel about you for me, so just make sure you hold a conversation and be honest about yourself like you have been with me. Besides, you actually have a better chance with me than Phoebe and Daisy have with bringing home boys. Because at least he doesn't have to worry about me ending up pregnant too soon."
When he laughed, Zayn looked away and exhaled. That wasn't funny at all. Especially considering he actaully had gotten a boy pregnant too soon. Which made this even worse. Because now that he knew about Benjamin, his son was always going to be in his life from this point forward. But if his own father didn't even know about his son, he damn sure wasn't going to tell Louis' step father first over some dinner. He was going to have to continue to keep it a secret.
"When were you talking about doing this?"
"Let's do it this weekend. Sunday dinners are usually a fun time to do it."
"This Sunday?"
"Yeah. This Sunday at six at my place. Why? Did you have plans?"
"No. But I think it's too soon."
Louis signed the bottom of the paper and then looked at Zayn with a smile. "It'll be exactly three months this Sunday. It's more than time, babe. Trust me. It'll be fine. I'm sure he will love you."
Zayn was just standing there in place so Louis took it upon himself to plant a kiss on his lips.
"I'm going to put this away, then go home and start planning what we should have for dinner. Oh. And make sure you dress nice. Okay?"
"Okay."
When Louis headed off to get his things, Zayn groaned quietly to himself. He didn't mean to pout like a child but what else was he supposed to do? He obviously didn't want to go to dinner. But how was he supposed to explain it and justify his reasons when he just had sex with him like he was making love? It was time to start thinking of a way out of this relationship. Because he knew now for sure that he just didn't want to be in it anymore.
➡️ ➡️ ➡️
"Tell the truth, Professor Payne. Is it taking me too long to write this story?" Harry asked.
The professor smiled but shook his head. "No. It isn't. You might be surprised to know the average author spends six months on a story. But you've only been writing yours since late November. So according to my calculations you actually still have about three months more to spare."
"Oh. Good. Because I feel like I'm wasting your time. I know this is important research to you."
"Yes. But it only matters if it's accurate. So if it isn't accurate, then it defeats the purpose of even doing this."
"True."
"So there you have it. Take as much time as you need. I am okay with waiting if it means I get your best work."
Harry smiled as he thought about how patient his Professor had been with him. But admiring that quality about him only reminded Harry of how patient Liam was in all aspects. But there was one major aspect that required his immediate attention.
"Professor Payne."
"Yes?"
"Is it alright if I talk to you as Liam right now?"
"Sure. What's on your mind?"
Harry closed his journal and brought his socked feet up on the couch under his body.
"I have to tell you something and I have a feeling that you won't like it."
"I won't?"
"No. Because it's about us. Us, us."
"You don't want casual sex anymore." He stated.
Harry was taken back.
"What? How did you know?"
"I can tell things."
He swallowed thickly. "I'm so sorry. It's not you. Those times we had together were so amazing. But the thing is, we only did it because we were lonely. But I'm not lonely anymore."
"I could tell that too."
"How?"
He seemed slightly sheepish now.
"The other day when we were having sex, it didn't feel like just sex. I could tell in the way you were kissing me. It was intense. Kind of like you were making love. Not to me though. Like you were making love to someone else."
Harry instantly felt like he wanted to puke.
"You knew?"
"Yes. But it's okay. This is why we do it with no strings attached so that we don't get hurt when things like this happen."
"I'm gonna be sick. I can't believe I just became what I've hated the most these last five years. Having sex with someone for my own selfish gain."
Liam reached out and put a tender hand on his shoulder.
"Stop it. It's not like you took advantage of me. We used each other. Our deal was to keep each other from being lonely. And if you used me to realize you finally wanted something real with someone then I'm okay with that. Because I think you deserve someone.
"You're a good man and your son is amazing. You deserve better than some Professor who's ten years older than you and borderline obsessed with male pregnancy research. You deserve better than me. And honestly, now that I look back at it in hindsight, it was pretty reckless of me to engage in that kind of activity with someone who could have babies. We could have ended up in a really unfortunate situation."
"Like me and Benjamin's dad?"
Liam gasped.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that at all."
"I know you didn't. It's fine. But since we're talking about him, you should know that Benjamin's dad is the reason I'm not lonely anymore. We're not together or anything. He just started coming around a few months ago. But just seeing him makes happy. So just in case something crazy happens one day, I want to be free."
Liam smiled.
"I wish I could say I was surprised that it's him. But I kind of guessed things were moving in this direction."
"How? You didn't know he was back in my life. Not until last week."
"True. But when I came by there and saw you two holding hands in the kitchen, I just knew. The way you were looking at him. How he looked at you. I knew you two felt something."
Harry hummed.
"Yeah well... That's all that happened."
"You still love him, right? I mean you did a few months ago even though you tried to convince me that you didn't."
"Well..." He drawled out.
"Yeah."
"Are you in love with him?"
"Sometimes I look at him and get those old feelings but at the same time, it's been almost five years. You can't possibly be in love with someone that long when your relationship was based on dating four months in high school and an unplanned baby. Can you?"
"I don't know. I've never had it happen to me. But I'll tell you what. Why don't you do as you said and make something crazy happen. And then later you come back and tell me what you learned."
Harry cringed.
"I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't know if he really wants me. Niall says it's obvious he does but what he doesn't understand is that I've been around 'obvious' Zayn before. It isn't always so obvious."
Liam raised his brow.
"It isn't?"
"No. It isn't. What you think he wants from you could be totally different from what he actually wants from you and you don't realize it until later when you end up suffering permanent consequences for it."
"I take it that consequence is Benjamin."
But Harry half smiled.
"I will never tell you what it is. But just know it's why this whole 'diving in' thing is scary to me. Because what if I'm wrong and he doesn't want me? I'd make a fool of myself. Again."
"Don't you mean what if you're not wrong and he does? You haven't told me all that happened between you and Zayn and I get it. You don't have to. It's none of my business. But Harry, you and I only got involved the way we did because we said we were lonely. Yet just now you said that you weren't lonely anymore because Zayn had started coming around again."
"Yeah. So?"
"So that means something."
"That I'm delusional for wanting to be with someone I made a baby with and didn't see for five years?"
That actually earned a chuckle from Liam.
"No. It more so means that he hasn't changed."
"It does?"
"Look at it this way. Something about Zayn attracted you to him and made you fall in love with him in high school. Whatever it was, it also made you willing to take the risk of having unprotected sex with him dispite the risk of STD's and such. Now five years later when you're older, stronger, smarter and wiser and hadn't seen him in five years, you still feel like you're falling in love all over again. He didn't change.
"To me that says whatever version of Zayn you were with in highschool was genuine. It also tells me the reason you broke up isn't because of the way he treated you but rather because of something he did. Which in that case, if you've forgiven him for it and you're willing to welcome him back into your life again, why wouldn't you want to dive right in and tell him how you feel about him?"
"Because he might say no. Or worse, he might stop coming around, which is not good for Benjamin."
Liam nodded and looked as if he was giving those words serious thought.
"If I can guarantee he won't say no or stop coming around, would you do it?"
Harry laughed.
"You can't guarantee that."
"I can."
"You can't. Not unless you talk to him first. And if you do, I won't forgive you and this whole book thing is off."
"I won't say anything to him. I promise. But I can guarantee because I know what I saw in his eyes. You're forgetting I'm ten years older than you. I have some experience with love and relationships, especially by watching students your age fall in love year after year. I know what it looks like. And I've experienced it myself before I let my work and research consume me. He loves you as much as you love him. Perhaps even more. So don't let the opportunity pass you by, Harry. You'll regret it if you do."
When he reached forward for his glass to have a sip of water, Harry took that time to think about everything Liam just said. He'd already had many big regrets in the past. Most of them having to do with Zayn, whether it was saying yes to his prom invitation when deep down he had a feeling something was off or when he agreed not to use protection because he trusted Zayn to make that night safe and special. But the thing about then was that he didn't have the same information as he had now.
He didn't know then that Zayn had loved him genuinely or that Zayn would still care for his son even if he was never expecting him. He didn't know that years later, Zayn would still have that same sparkle in his eye. Or that same bright smile he had when he first smiled at him from the back of the class in Sex Ed. He didn't know any of those things.
But right now he knew all of that. And he knew what it was like to love him and lose him. To feel like he was so close to having it all, only to be left with nothing but the consequences of his actions. He didn't want that again. He didn't want to find himself in another situation where he never told Zayn how he really felt because he was too busy feeling sorry for himself.
Maybe Liam couldn't actually guarantee it. But waiting for Zayn to give him enough wasn't working anymore. It was clear he wasn't going to know what Harry wanted unless Harry opened his mouth and told him. So right then and there he silently promised himself that he would do just that. By the time the weekened was up, no matter what, he will have finally been honest and brave enough to let Zayn know exactly how he felt.