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She was having second thoughts, her harrowing reflections offered her almost no time to breathe, instantaneously regretting her decision to agree with the dinner plans Jungkook initiated.
Devora had a scrabble with thoughts that had to do with exactly why she was letting him back into her life so effortlessly, when he left her with no opportunity to reconsider his stubborn judgments.
Suffice to say, she still agreed to it, and she still made the decision to get in his car that evening after work.
Devora tried to keep her mind balanced, pushing to focus on the promising side of situations rather than be sulking in her own shadow of deprecated feelings.
"Are you ready?" A familiar cadence voice obstructed her roving thoughts.
She pulled herself out of her drowning perceptions, glancing at Jungkook who was waiting by her passenger door, already opening it for her.
"Oh, right, yeah of course." Devora stepped out of the comfortably warm vehicle, perforated with the rush of a chilling breeze.
"Did you want a jacket? I don't want you to be cold." Jungkook amiably offered, closing the door behind her.
"No, it's fine. Let's just hurry and go inside, I'm sure it's warm there."
The restaurant looked to be casual, it didn't seem fancy from the outside, which she was appreciative of.
She didn't need to be spoiled at some extravagant restaurant to be won back.
Jungkook opened the door for her, allowing her to walk inside first.
The front house seemed to be expecting Jungkook, immediately getting through with reservations he had made.
While he communicated with the employees and confirmed his table, Devora openly inspected the restaurant, observing the radiant chandelier that was hung elegantly above reception.
Though it didn't seem to be so flowery on the outside, the guests and decorations confirmed her judgments to be terribly inaccurate.
Almost all men and women were dressed in business-looking attire, making Devora inspect her outfit and make sure she had dressed accurately.
She invariably wore long sleeves, but it was a dress with slits on each of the sides — near her thigh, while all the other women were dressed in pencil skirts and slacks.
Devora took a look at Jungkook's outfit, seeing that he was wearing his usual suit.
An all-black button-up with a black tie, along with an appropriate pair of slacks and dressing shoes.
"Follow me, please." The woman instructed, grabbing menus from behind her.
Perhaps it had to do with the fact that Devora was so used to holding on to Jungkook whenever they went out as a pair, since she unconsciously locked her arm with his, keeping as close to him as possible.
"Why didn't you tell me there was a dress code here?" She kept her voice low, keeping up with his pace.
His eyebrows squeezed, lips thinned. "What do you mean? You look great, why are you worried?"
She opened her mouth, ready to object, however, interrupted by the waitress who brought them to their table.
It was a circled table with white cloth above it, placed beside a window, almost sequestered at the end of the restaurant, away from others.
Jungkook pulled out a chair for Devora, tapping the fabric on the fancy chair, insisting she sit.
Devora listened without another word, being cooperative.
Swiftly, he pushed Devora's chair in, getting back to the seat placed in front of her.
Their drinks were ordered, and they were, once again, left to bask in one another's ambiance.
She took a silent deep breath in, keeping her hands locked above her lap, her eyes traveling far away from his.
It was unfathomably difficult for her to muster up the courage to look him in his eyes after the night they shared.
What they did went against her morals, even though it felt right, it didn't make it okay.
Devora was inebriated by his potent aura that night, coaxed by their fervent bickering.
Not only was she too embarrassed to look him in his eyes, but she felt humiliated with herself. Whether she'd like to admit it or not, she was the one who allowed him to kiss her and touch her body, as if they were still together.
As if they hadn't broken up for insurmountable problematic and unfaithful causes.
Her cheeks rinsed in a red hue, sensing that his eyes never left hers. Even when the waitress came back around with their drinks, and took their orders, he never once averted his attention from Devora.
It made her feel decipherable, almost like he could descry every little irrational perception that appeared in her mind.
Devora tapped her heel against the carpeted floor, growing impatient with herself.
Her fingers looped with the ends of her hair, peeking at his inked fingers that enclosed over the small glass cup filled with scotch whiskey.
"I don't know if I can do this."
"I still love you."
The duo expressed themselves concurrently.
She turned her head to the window, fingers finding their way to her lips.
Jungkook tilted his head to locate her expression. "What do you mean you can't do this?"
Devora sighed, shutting her eyes before compelling herself to look his way.
"What we did isn't right, Jeon." She explained, voice lilted in privacy.
His upper body hovered closer to their table. "What are- are you talking about last night?"
Devora nodded, her heartbeat throbbing.
A self-deprecated chuckle escaped his lips. "Honestly, it felt right. I don't care if we aren't together, and I don't regret it at all."
"But I do." Her hand faced against her chest, embarrassed by his honesty. "I shouldn't have done that, that's not how I normally act. If things had gone on any further, I don't think either of us would have made an effort to even stop, and that makes it worse."
Jungkook wanted to understand her, and wanted intel on what she thought about their kiss. If the kiss meant any significance to her, or if it symbolized their love for each other.
Hearing that she regretted it quite literally confounded him.
If he remembered correctly, they both took part in it, not one made any effort to prevent it from happening.
He hummed, his hand tapped against his thigh. "Is that why you stopped? Because it isn't how you normally act?" Jungkook quoted her.
"We aren't even together anymore," Devora pointed out, a distasteful frown planted on her forehead. "We weren't thinking correctly, we just-"
"Who said I wasn't thinking correctly?" Interrupted Jungkook with an emphatic tone, his pierced eyebrow raised in skepticism. "Because I just said I don't regret it."
"But understand that what we did was wrong, Jungkook. We aren't dating anymore-"
"Okay, then let's date. Be my girlfriend again." He persisted, tapping his finger against the fabric above the table. "Then we can do those things again, we can be there for each other, I'll be there for you like I promised I would."
Another modulated voice interjected with their conversation.
"So sorry for the wait, who ordered the chicken?" The woman was back with two plates in her hands.
Devora forced her lips into a discomfiting smile, ignoring the awkward setback to their discussion. "That was me." Slightly raising her hand, staring up at the brunette.
She set her plate down in front of her, "And I'm assuming you ordered the steak, sir?"
Jungkook nodded, making space for his food.
"Enjoy." The woman spoke brusquely, before promptly withdrawing from the table.
Devora's meal didn't look too appetizing after the discussion she had with Jungkook, but she wasn't going to allow that to impede her appetite.
The whole point was to have dinner with him, so eating the food was expected.
She grabbed the utensils from the swathed cloth, cutting small portions of her food and eating them quietly.
Jungkook waited for her to have the first bite before he indulged in his plate of food, hoping she would at least be pleased by the mouthwatering flavor of her food, and it would enlighten her mood a bit.
"I'm happy to see your appetite is still the same." He enthused, gladdened she was eating normally, and wasn't straying away from food.
Devora chewed her food thoroughly, taking a sip of the cold ice water beside her plate. "Yeah, well, food doesn't leave me." She sourly hinted at him, shrugging her shoulders.
He stopped his cuts, mood dropped. "Dev."
She faked innocence, eyes wide in confusion. "What? It's true isn't it?"
"Can you just not be so sarcastic?" Jungkook pleaded with a sigh. "I regret it, and I'm trying my best to show you how much I want you back in my life."
She set her fork down, watching her volume "I know that Jeon, but I don't think you understand that you can't just take me out to dinner and expect me to throw myself at you. Nothing in life can just be handed to you, you know that?"
Devora watched him sip his water with a kindle in her chest, bothered by how unbothered he suddenly seemed.
"I know nothing in life is handed to me." His tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth, setting the water down. "Why else would I be trying to win you back? Remember you had a choice to disagree with this."
She wished she could somehow dissipate his smug tone. Vexed because he was right. She did have a choice to disagree, yet, she said yes.
Devora chortled, shoving a piece of chicken in her mouth. "You're just lucky the food is good, or else I'd throw a piece of chicken at your face."
The corner of his lip pulled, finding her comebacks anything but formidable. "Someone's playing hard to get."
"Something you're clearly not used to." She expressed brusquely.
Jungkook laughed, covering his mouth with a closed fist. "Ouch, okay. Devora, I'm sorry to break it to you, but you're not gonna get me to leave with your so-called comebacks."
"I'm just trying to keep us away from certain topics." She reached over for her water, sipping it loudly.
He cut through more of his steak. "Oh, yeah? And what are those certain topics?"
Devora narrowed her eyes, struck by his deception of incomprehension he purposely utilized to keep her talking.
She remained silent, glancing out the window that was placed beside her left shoulder.
It was an open view of the parking lot that they had parked in. But, there was not much to look at due to the nightfall that seized the sky.
Her fingers latched over the edge of the table cloth, fiddling with the delicate material as her eyes followed back to her plate, finding her food was already more than halfway finished.
"Dev?" Jungkook shattered the silence that had dropped upon them. "Are you-"
"I'll be back... I need to use the- the bathroom. I think." Her speech fumbled involuntarily, standing from her seat and grabbing her purse.
He didn't protest. "Oh, umm, okay. That's fine. I'll be here."
She nodded without another word, proceeding to where the signs would lead her to the destination of the restroom, not looking back at Jungkook — who sat patiently, setting his fork down, not eating without her.
The bathrooms were set at an odd place, almost invisible to the guests if it weren't for the large signs that guided the mini route.
There was one long hall, and one wall that kept the bathrooms and dining area separated for sanitary reasons Devora liked to assume.
She just needed a minute to herself, to rectify her emotions and ground her racing mind.
Jungkook patiently waited for her, heart stifled by the affliction that had plunged on his shoulders.
It struck him the wrong way when he realized that she was taking longer than anticipated, glancing at his watch, recognizing she had been gone for more than ten minutes.
If he didn't know any better, he'd assume she made a run for it, hopping out the backdoor in the kitchen, or perhaps sneaking her way back to the entrance.
Despite those being options that roamed his mind as a rather plausible prospect, Jungkook didn't want to jump to any conclusions, deciding it was best if he went and looked for her.
Devora was held back because of her inability to catch her composure, yes, however, there was one more thing that held her from going back to Jungkook.
Actually, that reason was due to people that hindered her from getting back to her seat.
Men, to be more exact.
Young men in college that were — for some reason — stationary near the bathrooms. Most likely waiting out the dinner that their parents assembled reservations for.
It began with one of the guys complimenting Devora when she walked into the bathroom. Then, when she tried getting back to her seat, that same boy stopped her, proceeding to antagonize her for her number, and any social media she may have.
"I don't have Twitter, sorry." She gritted her teeth in a fake apologetic expression.
"Snapchat?" His friends behind him questioned further,
"Nope. But, if you'll excuse me, I have somebody to get back to." She pressed her lips into an uneasy line, turning over on her heels and shuffling forward.
"Look, I don't want to be pushy." The guy grabbed onto her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. "But, you- you're just really pretty, and I'm sorry but I can't let you leave without getting your number."
At first, Devora was letting him off easy.
He was a young man. No younger than she was, she didn't want to damage his climbing ego.
But, he had no right to touch her. Whether it was a simple grab on her wrist, or not.
She swiped her hand out of his tightened grip, her expression recoiled. "Look, I said no. You're young, and in college, you'll find another girl to obsess over."
"Obsess over?" The younger male released a tight laugh, looking over his shoulder. "I guess you think you're even prettier than you look. And anyway, I don't take no for an answer."
Devora couldn't quite fathom the situation that fell on her hands. It gave her a sickening sense of deja vu.
Why was she always being antagonized by men?
Were her facetious responses not enough to shun them?
"She already said no." A disembodied voice meddled into the discussion.
This voice was all too familiar, making Devora internally jump up and down, thrilled Jungkook got off his seat to find her.
Jungkook stood beside Devora, arrogant confidence bleeding right out of his pores.
"And anyway" He parroted the college boy. "I'm sure you have an exam to study for. So, how about you open up a damn textbook for once and learn how to take no for an answer."
"Is he your boyfriend or what?" The guy looked away from Jungkook, and back to Devora.
"Does it matter?" Jungkook took a step closer to him, tilting his head to cover Devora's. "I don't think that's any of your fuckin' business."
"A-Alright man, my bad, I didn't know she was taken." He backed away from the bubble of fierce aura Jungkook built around his figure.
Jungkook's eyes scattered behind the other college boys, getting a good look at their faces. "Learn from your dumbass friend here, lucky I don't feel like kicking ass today."
Devora frowned at his threat, finding his responses to be thoroughly unreasonable.
They were young kids.
They were stunned beyond words, unable to even speak words without stuttering.
The pressure he set finally lifted, turning on his heels to retrieve Devora who was standing behind him.
He placed his hand above her back, guiding them away from the hallway, and out to the rest of the restaurant.
"You didn't have to say all that." She muttered to him, walking to their table that now seemed closer than before.
"I did." He stated, aloof.
"No, you didn't." Devora fought back, waiting beside Jungkook as he pulled her chair out for her.
Shaking her head as she sat in the chair, "What would you do if an older man said he'd kick your ass if you were just a first-year in college."
She was appreciative of him and especially thankful that he went and rescued her from such an awkward conversation, but she couldn't help feel bad.
And she had no idea why.
Why should she care about them?
They were simply dumb boys who needed to be put in their place.
She felt her chair scoot in closer to the table, hearing Jungkook chuckle.
"If I heard that as a kid in college, then I'd fix my shit. Just like they better do."
Devora exhaled quietly, watching Jungkook sit himself down in the chair in front of her.
"How is everything here?" The waitress was back to check on them. "Was the food good?"
Jungkook put on a smile, "Oh, it was really good. You think we can get a to-go box, though?" His eyebrows perked upwards when asking his question. "And the check too, of course."
"Yes, I'll bring that and the check as well, you want one box too, right, ma'am?" The woman with brown hair dipped lower to look at Devora in her eyes.
Devora smiled, nodding. "Um, yeah. That would be great, thanks."
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