~~~~~~~~~Dipper's POV~~~~~~~~~
As of right now, Mabel and I sat at the back of Stan's cat while he drove to town for reasons we didn't know. I simply stared out the window the whole car ride, but Mabel was starting to get bored, starting to play with the nachos she was eating by placing them on her ears as earrings.
"Nachos earrings!! I'm hilarious!!"
"That's debatable," Stan replied before honking at whatever was in front, "C'mon, what's with all this traffic? And why is it all-? Covered wagons?!"
I turned my head when he said that, curiosity getting the best of me ad he began to drive away while yelling, "Not today, not today!!"
He stopped when people stood in front, a panicked expression on his face as he reversed the cat, and I finally asked, "Grunkle Stan, what's going on?!"
"We gotta get out of here before it's too late!!" He was then forced to stop the car as wagons began to circle around, "They've circled the wagons!! We're trapped, NO!!"
Mabel then looked out the window, seeing a small cow staring back, then she smiled, "I have a good feeling about today!"
Just then, there was a soft knock on my window, and a familiar face treated me. (y/n) stood outside the car, his usual kind smile on his face as he gave me a wave, and I could already feel my own face heating up a bit at the sight.
The three of us left the car, and (y/n) turned to Grunkle Stan, tilting his head in curiosity, "Odd to see you here, Mr. Pines, you usually avoid Pioneer Day like it's the plague."
"Pio-what?" Mabel asked for both of us, Stan answering,
"Everyday these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded."
"Welcome to 1863!" Toby Determined said with a smile while walking over.
Stan was having none of it, glaring daggers, "I will break you, little man!!"
Toby instantly ran away, and my sister and I began to look around, her eyes landing on thing, "Wow, look, candle dipping!"
"Woah, gold panning!" I added.
(y/n) then pointed to the side. "There's also that monstrosity," he said as he showed us a man getting- ... married to a woodpecker?
"What you talking about?!"
"Oh yeah, I remember this," at Mabel's question, I opened my journal on a certain page, "In Gravity Falls it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers."
"Oh it's still legal!" the man said as he walked over, "Very legal.."
"Come one and all, to the opening ceremonies!!" a voice spoke throughout the town.
Mabel turned to Stan with a bright smile, "Grunkle Stan, are you coming?!?"
"No thank you!" he replied, "Just remember, if you come back to the shack talking like these people, you're dead to me!"
Instantly, I turned to Mabel, "There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!"
"Well, hornswoggle my haversack!" she replied, both of us spitting on the ground before running off with (y/n) behind us, hearing Stan's last yell.
"DEAD TO ME!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Here-ye here-ye!!" Sheriff Blubs began to speak on the stage, "Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence!!"
"Woo!!! I got a bell!!!" Deputy Durland added, ringing the bell around.
A lady behind us then yelled as someone else ran through the crowed, "Oh no, police, my purse!!"
Durland stared at the lady for a while, then rang the bell some more, "Ring ring!!! Ring ring!!!"
Blubs simply chuckled, "He sure loves his bell.."
"I'll be right back," I heard (y/n) say before walking out of the crowd, to which I was confused by, but didn't question.
Something else had grabbed my attention anyway. Something softly tapped the mic, and on stage was now a familiar blonde speaking, "Howdy, everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, great great granddaughter of town founder Nathaniel Northwest. I'm also very rich."
Everyone applauded, for whatever reason, before she continued, "Now if you got the pioneer spirit, we asked you to come on up and introduce yourself!"
Mabel gasped in delight, "Audience participation!"
"I dunno, Mabel, isn't that girl kinda like your arch enemy?"
"That's water under the bridge!"
She ran up to the stage, with Pacifica introducing her, "Our first newcomer is-!" Her expression quickly shifted into a glare, "Mabel.."
"Yeah!! Let's get this Pioneer Day started!!" Mabel blew a raspberry, "Right guys?! USA!!! USA!!!"
"USA!!! USA!!!" Everyone chanted along, as well as a guy who got very sentimental over it.
But of course, Pacifica just couldn't let it slide, "I'm sorry to break it to you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people, and you look and act ridiculous," she pointed at her sweater, "I mean a puppy playing basketball? Are you always this silly?"
Mabel seemed to take it to heart, folding her sweater so the design wouldn't show, "Hey, I can be serious!"
"You do have nachos hanging from your ears, hun."
Holding her earrings, her face grew red with embarrassment, Pacifica turning to the crowd, "Wow, I'm embarrassed for you. Give her a hand, everybody!!"
Everyone applauded once more, with Mabel walking off the stage in shame. I quickly chased after, finding her sitting at the steps of a statue of Nathaniel Northwest.
She was eating butterscotch, head low as she stared at the ground. It was a rare sight to see her so defeated, I didn't know what to do..
"Whoa, what happened to you two?" (y/n)'s voice was heard, seeing him walking over.
"I could ask you the same thing."
"I was getting that lady's purse back, what happened while I was gone?"
"Ah.." I rubbed the back of my neck, "Pacifica ended up embarrassing Mabel in front of the crowd.."
His expression morphed into a sad one, sitting beside my sister, "Mabel..? You wanna talk about it..?"
"... can I ask you something..?" She looked up at us, "Do you think I'm... silly..?"
"Uh.. no....?"
"Ugh, I knew it!! The nacho earrings, the sweater, I thought I was being charming, but I guess people see me as a big joke.." She took off the earrings in a rage, throwing them away before taking off her sweater and wrapping it around her waist.
I didn't like to see her like this, "C'mon, Mabel, you love that sweater!"
"I did until Pacifica ruined it... Ugh, she ruins everything!"
"Pacifica.." I said with a growl, turning to the statue, "Why does she think that being related to the town founder means she gets to treat everyone like garbage?!"
"Some people just don't have that sympathy, Dip."
"Well someone needs to take her down a peg," I replied to (y/n), then gasped in realization as I pulled out my journal, "Wait a minute! I feel like I read something Pacifica's great great grandfather before! Of course!"
I sat down on the steps, "In my investigations- Should- should I do the voice?" They both shook their heads. "Meh, I'll just read it, normal. In my investigations, I recently made a discovery. Nathaniel Northwest may not be the founder of Gravity Falls! I believe the proof of this secret is buried somewhere on the enclosed document. If only I could crack the code.."
"Dude, if this it true it means that Pacifica's whole family is a fraud!" (y/n) replied as he peeked over to the journal.
I smiled, "This could be a major conspiracy!!"
"Really?!" Mabel say up.
I placed the journal back into my vest, standing up, "We gotta investigate!"
"Wait!" Mabel stood up as well, "I'm coming with you guys. Conspiracies are serious, right?"
"Oh yeah, definitely."
"Well if I help you crack this code then nobody could ever call me silly again!"
"Yeah!" I offered a fist bump, "Mystery Trio?"
"I thought you hated that name," (y/n) tilted his head a bit, to which I smiled.
"I'm starting to accept it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We first headed to the town library, having taken a table to review our one clue as I explained, "Alright, guys, if we can prove that Nathanial Northwest wasn't the real founder of Gravity Falls it'll finally put Pacifica in her place!"
"And solving a mystery will prove that I'm not silly! I'm serious..!" Mabel ate another butterscotch, staring at a book in her hands, "Serious...."
Just then, (y/n) came over carrying a projector set, placing it behind our table and facing the wall, "Took a bit of convincing, but I managed to grab this bad boy."
"Thanks a bunch, (y/n)! Now we just need to crack this code." Placing a few cards in the projector, I began to scroll through them, "Let me see... It's not Egyptian, it's not numerology, it's not- Wait! The triangle is the alchemist symbol for flame!"
"What do you suggest we do?"
"Maybe lighting it on fire will reveal the secret message!"
Mabel smiled, "It's so obvious!"
"Are we sure about this?" (y/n) hesitated, "If that's not it, then we lose the only clew we have."
"Not like we have any other ideas.." I pulled out a lighter, then reached for the map that was suppose to be on the table, "What the-? Mabel!"
She had the map on her head in shape of a hat, tilting her head. "Mwap!! I just made a hat! ... Ugh, I just did something silly again!"
"No, you didn't!" (y/n) quickly stepped in, pointing at the map on her head, "Mabel, you just folded it into a map!"
The three of us stared as Mabel took it off without harming it, and I glanced down at the lighter on my hand, "... and we were gonna burn it..!"
However, we then heard another voice speak, seeing the two policemen by the door, the sheriff speaking, "We're on the lookout for three kids who might be reading."
"We're hunting them down for secret reasons!" the other explained.
The three of us hid beneath our table, making sure we weren't spotted, with the deputy knocking down some books from the shelf as the two left down another isle.
(y/n) leaned over and whispered, "Maybe we should take this elsewhere.."
"This map should lead us to..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The Gravity Falls museum of history!!" Mabel finished.
I turned to them, being as serious as I could, "You realize what this means, guys, we're gonna have to break in.."
Once inside, the lady handed us some balloons, "And those are your free Pioneer Day passes and your balloons."
"We're in.." I finished, to which (y/n) lightly hit my hat before the three of us walked deeper in.
"What are we gonna do next?" Mabel asked, "Steal Thomas Jefferson's rib cage?"
"That'd be a cool souvenir."
"Ew no," I stood in front of them, "According to the map, our next clue about the real town founder should be right... here!"
It was a statue on the wall, though I couldn't tell what had been sculpted on it. "We have to figure this one out quick, I have a feeling those cops weren't at the library to check out books."
Mabel cringed a bit, "I don't think the one with the bell can read!"
"So..." (y/n) tilted his head as he stared at it, "What exactly is it?"
While (y/n) and I stayed standing, Mabel sat on the bench, then lied on the bench, "Hey painting, be less stupid!" then turned up turns upside down, letting out a gasp, "It worked!!"
"Huh?!" The two of us quickly sat upside fowl on the bench as well, and to my surprise, there was the shape of an angel pointing to the side, book in hand.
I smiled, "Wait, it's not abstract! It's upside down!!"
"I think I've seen that statue at the cemetery!" (y/n) replied.
"Let's go, quick!" With that, the three of us stood back up, forgetting about the fact that the blood had rushed away from our heads too fast and getting severe headaches.
Once at the cemetery, we all began looking around as I spoke, "Hm, the statue must be pointing to the next clue.."
"Mabel, what are you doing?"
At (y/n)'s question, I turned to see Mabel standing on the statue, its finger inside her nose as she laughed, "Ah, gross!! She's picking my nose!!"
As she did though, the finger bent, triggering a secret passage to open up on the floor. We smiled in accomplishment, with Mabel laughing proudly, "Who's silly now, Pacifica? Bam!!"
Took her a bit to get down since her nose got stuck, but once she joined us, we headed down the staircase. It was dark and dusty, but we could still see enough.
"Now we're getting into real conspiracy mode..! I feel so serious..!" Mabel ate another butterscotch, throwing the wrapped again.
I kept a cautious eye, "Okay, look out for booby traps."
Mabel let out a laugh, repeating "Booby traps," before instantly stepping on a specific block, which sunk down.
A dark wall rose from the sides, and as we were about to start rubbing, (y/n) took off his jacket and placed it in front of us, running away as the darts were stabbed into the jacket.
Near the end was a small tunnel I didn't see, and I ended up tripping and sliding down with Mabel and (y/n) behind, until we reached an even more dusty room with no darts.
(y/n) was the first who stood up, removing all the darts with one swoop of his arm before putting it back on, "That was far too close.."
Mabel was already running around, "It's a treasure trove of historic-y secret-y things!" She then picked up some papers, letting out a laugh, "Oh man, Ben Franklin secretly was a woman!"
"Hey, jackpot!" I picked up a folder with the world Top Secret written in red.
(y/n) leaned over my shoulder, "Now we'll find out who the real town founder was."
And so, I opened the folder, reading the first paper inside, "Let it be here recorded Nathaniel Northwest, fable founder of Gravity Falls, was in fact a fraud! As well as a... waste shoveling village idiot?" I let out a laugh, "Oh, bad news for Pacifica."
"I'm sure the news center will gladly take this info," (y/n) replied with a smirk.
Mabel smiled brightly, "Once people see that I uncovered a historical conspiracy they could never call me silly!"
I continued to read, "The true founder of Gravity Falls was Sir Lord. Quentin Trembley III, ESQ"
Raising a hand to his chin, (y/n)'s eyebrows narrowed in thought, "Who's Quentin Trembley?"
"That's not of your business!" The three of us gasped at the new voice, seeing the two policemen not too far behind us.
"Wooo, we got ya!!! Wooo!!!" the deputy cheered, his cheers getting slower and more quiet, until he indeed up passing out, showing the many tranquilizer darts in his backside.
"... he got hit with quite a few of those darts."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I hate to do this, but Quentin Trembley is a matter of national security," the sheriff explained.
The deputy continued to cheer, through it was much weaker than before, "I think I might be colorblind now..!"
I turned to the sheriff, "What do you mean national security?!"
"Yeah, and who's Quentin Trembley anyways?!"
"See for yourself," the sheriff replied to (y/n) and I by taking out an old video tape from his hat, placing it in an even older projector.
We all gathered around it, curiosity peeking from deep within me, when the screen finally showed.
"Aww, black and white?!"
"Shh, Mabel!" I quickly scolded, then turned back to the screen, where a man in a suit began to speak.
"If you're watching this, you're one of the few people in these United States with clearance to view this information. In fact, I myself will be shot as soon as the filming is complete. Wha- Huh?!" The man looked to the side, then let out a sigh with a smile, "Well, that's a relief. Of all of America's secrets, the most embarrassing was that of Quentin Trembley, the eighth and a half president of the United States."
"President?!?"
"Eight and a half?!?" Mabel asked after us.
"After winning the 1847 election in a landslide, Quentin Trembley quickly gained a reputation as America's silliest president. He waged war on pancakes, appointed six babies to the supreme court, and issued the De-Pants-cipation Proclamation. His State of the Union speech was even worse."
The screen showed a picture of a strange man, "The only thing we have to fear is gigantic man eating spiders!!"
"He was kicked out of office and escaped to an uncharted valley he named Gravity Falls after plummeting into it at high speed. Trembey's shameful term was erased from history, and officially replaced by William Henry Harrison as president and local nobody Nathaniel Northwest as founder of Gravity Falls. The whereabouts of president Trembley's body are unknown."
"Until now." When the video ended, the sheriff turned it off and pointed behind us, where we were shocked to see Quentin Trembly trapped in some sort of caramel cube!
I stared in amazement, "Whoa..!! Is that like amber or something..?!"
(y/n) walked closer, sniffing the air before staring in confusion, "It smells like peanut butter!"
"Fool thought he could live forever by encasing himself in a block of solid peanut brittle!" the sheriff explained as he stepped forward, "Smooth move, Mr. President. Finding Trembley's body was our special mission and now thanks to you it's complete."
Durland smiled, "Who knew all we had to do was follow a little girl's trail of candy wrappers."
Mabel let out a sigh, clearly disappointed in herself, "Silly..."
Blubs turned to us, "Now that you know the truth, well, we can't let you go around talking about it.."
(y/n) quickly placed an arm in front of us, "You're not saying you're gonna kill us, right?! We're just children!!"
"Oh no!!" the deputy yelled as well.
"Now now, calm d- calm down now, buddy, calm down!" sherif Blubs said to calm down Durland before turning to us, "We're just gonna escort you and all this stuff back to Washington. You ain't coming back, by the way."
No matter how much we struggled, we couldn't escape their grip. (y/n) seemed to just go with it, not fighting it in the slightest, and eventually, Mabel and I did so too.
We had been taken to a train and locked inside a large wooden box with Quentin Trembley's peanut brittled corpse.
Mabel and I were punching the wall, trying to get the officers' attention, though it didn't seem to work. (y/n), however, was peeking outside through a tiny hole in the wall. When there was nothing worthwhile for him to see, he let out a sigh and stood back up, "It's no use, I can't see anything."
Mabel let out a sigh of defeat, "I can't believe I left a trail of candy wrappers.. This is all my fault, Pacifica had me pegged all along... I'm just a silly failure like that embarrassing president what's-his-name..."
We were going to try to comfort her, when she sat in front of the president and grabbed a piece of peanut butter, starting to eat it. What we didn't expect was for it to cause a long crack to appear, completely destroying the entire peanut brittle case and- letting Quentin Trembley step forward?!
"It is I, Quentin Trembley!!" He reached down, ripping off his pants, still standing proudly.
I stared in shock, "You're alive!! But how?!"
Peanut brittle really does have life sustaining properties!!" Mabel replied with a smile, "You're not silly, you're brilliant!!!"
Trembley smiled back, "And so are you, dear girl! For following my clues and freeing me from my delicious tomb!"
"He's right!" (y/n) turned to Mabel, "Making maps into hats, hanging upside down, your silliness solved the code that serious cops couldn't crack in a hundred years!"
"Oh stop it..!" She giggled a bit.
"By Jeffersons!!" we all turned to Trembley at his words, "We seem to be trapped in some sort of crate-shaped box!!"
"It's a crate, Mr. President!" Mabel replied.
"Good thing I have the president's key which can open any luck in America!" He began to poke the wall with the key .
You know, I'm starting to see why they kicked him out of office.
(y/n) stared just as confused, "I don't think that's working."
"Wood!! My age old enemy.. In order to get out of here this is going to take the silliest plan ever conceived!"
"I think I know who can help you," I smiled at Mabel, who began to look around.
"Hm... how about...." She spotted the whole (y/n) was peeking through earlier, "That hole!!"
"We will leap through it!!"
The two of them leaped at it, trying to get through the hole that was the size of your finger.
(y/n) gripped the bridge of his nose, "Guys, please stop, this is painful to watch
"Trust the silliness....!!" Mabel yelled back, not giving up.
After about ten more seconds of this nonsense, (y/n) let out a groan and rolled up his sleeves, walking closer to the wall, "I was holding back from doing this cuz I was worried it would cause too much noise, but desperate times."
He bawled one hand onto a fist, and I could've sworn I saw his eyes switch color for a split second, but before I could reach, he had already punched the wood and broken the entire front wall!!
Mabel flinched back, then smiled at the sight, "Whoa!!"
"(y/n), your hand!!" I quickly noticed it was bleeding and covered in splinters, making me grow pale at the sight.
However, he simply took off his jacket and wrapped a sleeve around it, "Don't worry about it, dude, we have bigger problems right now."
"... Well, we didn't fit through the hole," Trembley grabbed one of the pieces of wood, "Let's rebuild the box and try again!"
"We gotta get out of here!" (y/n) glared at him before we all ran out.
I went ahead, opened the door in front of us, seeing Durland packing a bag, his eyes instantly widening as he saw us, "Blubs?!?"
The sheriff poked his head from the side, and I quickly closed the door. I then noticed Trembley was trying to get out through the ceiling's emergency exit by poking the key from before against it, which I quickly snatched from him and opened the door, all of us running outside.
We began to run to the back of the train as fast as he could, with the two officers hot on our trail, but we were forced to stop when there was no more train for us to run down, turning to the officers.
Blubs was in a bad state of exhaustion, trying to speak through his panting, "There is... no... escape!" He fell down on one knee, trying to catch his breath, "I gotta take a knee..."
Durland kneeled down beside him, "Are you okay? Can I get you anything?"
"Edwin Durland, you are a diamond in the rough.."
Once he stood up, I began to speak, "Sheriff Blubs, do you really want to lock us up in a government facility somewhere?!"
"I've got no choice! All orders come from the very top!!"
The very top, huh?
"Wait!! Quentin, did you ever sign an official resignation?!"
"No sir, I ate a salamander and jumped out the window!!!"
"Then technically, you're still legally the president of the United States, right?!? You gotta answer to this guy now!!!"
The officers' eyes widened, "Huh?!?"
"As president of these several United States, I hereby order you to pretend none of this ever happened and go on a delightful vacation!" A sign then hit him from behind, "OW!!! Yes!!"
"Vacation?" Blubs turned to Durland, "What place have you always wanted to visit? One, two-"
"City Water Fun Slide in Great Lakes, Michigan!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As we watched the two officers waving goodbye at us from the train, Trembley knelt down to be at Mabel's eye level, "You've done a great service to your country, Mabel. As thanks, I'd like to make you an official US congressman!"
Mabel smiled as Trembley placed a top hat on her head, "I'm legalizing everything!!"
"No you're not!" (y/n) quickly yelled.
"(y/n), for your bravery and strength, I shall give you my pocket's pocketknife!" He handed (y/n) a small golden pocketknife.
(y/n) stared at it with wide eyes, "This is kinda heavy, is this real gold?!"
"Perhaps!"
"Sweet, I'll definitely be selling this!" I snickered at (y/n)'s comment.
Trembley then turned to me, "And Roderick,-"
"Uh actually-"
"You, dear child, are on your ways to unlocking the mysteries of this great land, so I'd like you to have.." he pulled out the key from before, "my President's Key."
I smiled, I wonder if this key really worked like a Skeleton Key.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"-and then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for three hours! Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk." Trembley ended his story with a small groan.
Mabel smiled, "Agreed!"
"Hey, check it out," (y/n) nodded over to Pacifica, who was with her two other 'friends'.
Mabel instantly ran over, with (y/n) and I following behind, "Hey Pacifica!!! I uncovered a government conspiracy about the eighth and a half president the United States!!! Who's silly now?!?l
"What? Who is that idiot?"
"Put up your do-s, you bald feed!!!" Trembley yelled at a flock of birds.
"The eighth and a half president of America!" Mabel explained, "I know what you're thinking, how is he still alive? Well, turns out he's been hibernating in peanut brittle and-"
Pacifica interrupted her with a laugh, "Wow, you really are a sad dumb little girl! Nice top hat, by the way."
Her parents laughed along with her, her dad smiling proudly, "Good one, daughter."
Pacifica then looked to the side, smiling to herself, "Ooh, I see your car's stuck in the mud, enjoy walking home!" She then got on her limo with her family.
I leaned over to my sister, "Aren't you gonna tell her about her eat-gray ampa-gray?"
To my surprise though, she seemed relaxed this time around, "You know what, guys, I've got nothing to prove. I've learned that being silly is awesome!"
(y/n)'s face was just as annoyed as I was, so I knew what I had to do.
"Well I haven't learned anything!!" I yelled as I snatched the paper from the files, running over to the car, "Hey Pacifica!!!"
She rolled down the window, and I handed her the file, "Nathaniel Northwest didn't found Gravity Falls and your whole family's a shame, deal with it."
Just then, the car started to drive, and we heard Pacifica's yells, "WHAT?!? MOM!!!"
"Woo, revenge is underrated, that felt good!"
"I beg it did!" (y/n) lightly hit the back of my head, both of us laughing in reply.
That's when Trembley walked back over, "Children, I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I'll always be right here," he pointed at my chest, then opened his hand to reveal a dollar, "On the negative twelve dollar bill."
"Whoa!" I stared at it for a bit, then smiled, "This is worthless!"
"It's less than worthless, my boy! Trembley away!!!" He jumped backwards, landing on a horse and riding away.
Mabel turned to us, "Where do you think he's going?"
"I'm gonna say off a cliff." I then turned to (y/n), worry washing over me, "How's your hand doing..?"
"Hm?" He raised his arm a bit, some blood staining the jacket that was wrapped around it, "Oh it's fine, just need to get rid of the splinters and wrap it up."
"Let's go find Stan, we can take care of your arm in the shack."
"That's not necessary, I can-"
"I insist."
He stared at me for a while, then let out a small sigh, though a smile noticeable on his face, "Never any arguing with you.."
Thanks for reading!!! And before I leave-
Request for @0Fuck_Off_Senpai0!
Till next time!!!
❤️❤️❤️