Hey guys,
This is just a quick update. If you follow me on Patreon you're probably aware of the reason why I haven't been uploading so sorry for the repeat message. I really don't want to re write the reason again so I will repost what I told everyone on Patreon.
Hi guys,
I don't even know how to start this message, just the thought of saying it outloud again is excruciating but you guys deserve an explanation. Also maybe it'll help if I talk about this to someone else other than my family.
I was pregnant. It was the first time ever I had gotten pregnant and I was over the moon. I got all the pregnancy apps, contacted my GP and shared the news with my immediate family who were just as ecstatic as I was. My partner's older sister has a one year old so this wasn't the first for his family but it was for mine. The baby would have been my parent's first grandchild, my sibling's first niece or nephew and our first child.
Everything seemed like it was going well, I was bursting with excitement waiting to hit my second trimester so I could tell my extended family and friends that I'm going to have a baby, that I'm going to be mum.
Unfortunately just a little before I could reach that that milestone I lost our baby. My mind keep going over it again and again, was it something I did, something I ate, maybe I should have started taking my vitamins earlier, maybe I should have been more active?
Why did I lose the baby? I don't understand. What did I do wrong? How could everything be fine one minute and the next I'm bleeding and being told what's about to happen.
I started spotting a few days beforehand and maybe that was a sign of what was to come. I spoke to my midwife about it and she told me it was fine as long as it wasn't fresh blood. It wasn't at the time but then a few days later it changed and I was bleeding so much and it wouldn't stop.
After that it was a blur, I can't remember what happened all I knew was that I lost the baby, the dreams and future I had with that baby was gone just like that.
I saw the baby, saw it when it came out of me and no matter how hard I try I can't get that image out of my head.
I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone, this pain is unlike any I've ever felt. My heart aches all the time, every day I wake up and then I remember what I've lost and I'm struggling, I'm struggling to cope with this.
I feel empty, like there's a part of me missing.
I know you're disappointed that this isn't an update and I'm so sorry. I'm disappointed in myself too, I'm disappointed in life, I'm just disappointed and heartbroken. I can't concentrate, I can't go to work I can't do anything. All I want to do is wake up from this nightmare that has now become my life.
I will try my best to upload some new chapters as soon as I can but I don't have an exact time frame. I hope you are all okay and I'm so sorry if this message brings up memories of your loss
-Kayy xx
So that's the reason I have uploaded in a while. I am recovering (unfortunately very slowly) and have began writing again. I will be uploading on Patreon from tomorrow but I don't have an exact timeframe for Wattpad as Patreon is my focus at the moment.
On Patreon you can read up to:
Chapter 43 of Captured
Chapter 37 of The Lycan's Mark (please be aware that some chapters will be explicit)
Chapter 26 of Fated Hearts
New chapters will be uploaded this week and for now I will keep The Wolf Baby at the reduced price (for another two weeks)
I hope to start uploading on Wattpad in the next few weeks but as I mentioned earlier I don't have an exact date.
I hope you understand and thank you for being very patient with me. I appreciate all the support I've received on all my books and I will try to complete them as quickly as I can.
-Kayy xx