Thirty-one
[Leen]
I AM GOING TO SOUTH KOREA PEOPLE!
Adam oppa is sure the best.
We come out of the airport and Adam immediately catches a taxi.
Welcome to Seoul, Lee! I say in my head with a mental smirk.
"I won't even ask you if you wanna rest in the hotel first," Adam says.
"You're starting to know me well, yubo." I laugh.
The driver stops in a narrow old street that Adam has described. We get off and start walking along the pavement surrounded with numerous amounts of Koreans that I would have never imagined myself being around.
"Wow, Adam we're giants," I say mentally measuring the heights of people passing by.
"That just shows how special we are, habibti," he laughs.
"Oh look that guy was tall," I say turning my head with the passing guy.
"You're too loud, Lee."
"Not like they're gonna understand me anyway," I say admiring the fact that people who understand Arabic in this whole street could be less than the number of my fingers, or none.
"You're a kid."
"And proud!" I say in a sing-song tone.
"We're there," he says as we stop outside a local restaurant, one like we watch in kdramas.
"Omo!" I say clapping my hands together. "This is a dream coming true!"
"I've tried this when I came here alone," he says as we take a seat. "We were engaged then and I kept planning bringing you here when we get married."
"You sure work according to plan, oppa!" I say when the waitress comes to take the orders.
"Pronounce that thing right," Adam says pointing to a word written on the menu.
"Dak gangjeong," I say trying to copy their accent as much as I can. "Ah," I suddenly remember as my eyes fall on another dish. "Bulgogi, too," I say smiling at the woman and wishing she doesn't think of me as a fool saying a word in Korean and another in English.
"Can you tell her not to cook anything with liquor?" Adam asks me. "It was a disaster trying to tell the man last time."
"Ah-nee," I shake my head. "I'm not that advanced yet." I smile sheepishly.
"I bet all you know is oppa and ah-nee," he says sarcastically.
"Oh, you didn't say that!"
"Oh, I did!" he mimics me.
The woman clears her throat making both of us jump in our places.
"Sorry," Adam says. "Please can you cook without liquor?" He says slowly.
"Mwuh?" she asks.
"She says "what?"."
"That's your best, Lee?" he says shooting me a look and I shrug. He has to know not everyone on Earth should speak four languages like he does. I roll my eyes mentally.
"Food," he says even more slowly. "No alcohol," he shakes his head, then points at himself and says, "Muslim."
"Aaah," she says as realisation hits her. "Okay, okay," she says with difficulty. "Muslim, alcohol, aniyo," she shakes her head and both hands illustratively.
"Yae," I nod to her. "Kamsahamnida!"
She nods and smiles friendly as she turns to leave.
Adam gives out a sigh of relief. "Next time we're eating in a five stars restaurant, at least they will speak English."
"Adam, you're mean!" I scold him. "The woman is such a cutie pie!"
The food arrives shortly and we start devouring everything on the plates.
"I can't believe I'm finally eating Korean food in Korea!"
"What else do you wanna try?" he says studying my face.
"Mmmm," I tap my chin thoughtfully. "I wanna go skating like they do in all dates, I wanna eat fish cake from a food cart in the street, I wanna go shopping, buy makeup stuff and bags, I wanna eat ramen at a supermarket, eat ice cream while walking at night, go to an amusement park, and..." I suddenly find that my list ran out of stuff.
"What?"
"I can't remember," I laugh.
"Well, take your time," he says pouring me some Pepsi. "We're here so you can do everything you've ever wanted."
I look at him trying so hard to blink the tears or swallow them or get rid of them in any invisible way. "You're even better than everything I've dreamed of in a husband," well my voice cracks anyway.
"Are you gonna cry?" his eyes widen. "We can go back to Egypt right now if you want," he teases me.
"No I'm perfectly fine!" I say in a high-pitched tone. "I just..." I swallow. "I-"
"You?" he waits for me to go on.
I clear my throat and hold my chopsticks tighter. "I love y-you."
He smiles that Robin smile- no even brighter and reaches out his hand across the table gesturing for me to bring mine up too. He holds my hand tight and rubs it. "I love you more."
Leen. The girl who lived in a world of fantasies, who saw love through books and kdramas, who was shy to look at a stranger, who was described as someone who doesn't even know what love is and who doesn't have a man in her life, is now the queen of her world. She's the Perfect King's queen. She is loved by an awesome man that she would do anything to make him happy. She is very thankful to Allah for keeping such a surprise for her. That's what happens when you trust Allah to choose for you. He SWT chooses the best.
That night we walk to the hotel. Adam holds my hand and I tighten my grip, swinging them as we walk. We stop by a supermarket and adam buys ice cream.
"Now we've crossed out two dreams from your list," he says giving me the ice cream.
We cross two, we cross three, we cross my entire list. I have never thought that when someone holds your hand and crosses your dream-list it would feel that good. Adam and I are very good friends now, but that doesn't make my heart flutter any less when he's around.
The image of him holding my hand and walking through Seoul, the city I've always been dreaming to visit, the countless number of laughters that were coming from deep down in our hearts while skating will be forever carved in my memory. I will always remember our late night walks and talks, I will remember all the food we tried for the first time, what we liked and what we did not.
The pictures we took are more precious than any souvenirs (although we did buy some, to be honest). I don't think I've ever posted on Instagram as much as I did this week and couple of days.
I used to call mom and dad everyday and text Salam all the time I'm in the hotel where there is WiFi. I have also bought some baby stuff for Jenin's child, but I didn't know the baby's gender so I chose colours that'd go for both.
Now we're back in Cairo. Ahmed has been waiting for us in the airport and he's driving us home.
"I hope you didn't get bored of him already," Ahmed tells me through the rear-mirror.
"Not yet," I giggle. "Do you think I will?" I ask to tease Adam.
"I'm sure you will," he says. "He's been my friend for over ten years, and I can tell you he's the most boring person you'll ever meet."
"Couldn't you tell me that a little sooner?" I go along with the joke. "Now there's nothing to do about it, I'm trapped."
"Ha ha ha," Adam rolls his eyes. "Guys that's not funny, stop it."
Ahmed pulls over in front of our house and we get off.
"Thank you, Ahmed," I say holding my hijab as the wind blows lightly.
"You're welcome," he says raising a hand as a goodbye. Adam stands with him for a couple of seconds talking as I search through my bag for the keys.
"Adam why don't you both come inside and talk?"
"Yeah sure, come on in, Ahmed."
"I need to take Jana to see grandma," he says. "She's already called me over five times now."
"Okay then, see you tomorrow inshallah," says Adam.
"Yes bro, inshallah."
Home sweet home!
Despite the fact that this is the first time we'll be staying 'home' actually.
We go upstairs and I throw myself on the sofa once I enter the living room.
"Ahh, I can't believe how much I'm tired," I say.
"Well," Adam hesitates before going on. "I'm actually hungry. Can we go downstairs and cook something quickly?"
What the-?
"Of course you're not tired; you're used to this."
"I almost feel like you do when you come back from school everyday," he laughs.
"Fine, let's make you something to eat," I say getting up. "First let us change into something comfortable, I think I'm about to blend with my clothes."
He chuckles. "Okay then."
Half an hour later we're down in the kitchen. Mom and aunt Laila have made sure to keep our fridge full for us when we come back, and so almost everything we'll ever need for a week is already there.
I'm wearing a baby blue pyjama (with a bear listening to music, it's so cute!) and pink slippers, holding my hair in a bun. Adam is wearing grey checked pyjama pants and a white t-shirt.
P.S. We don't look attractive. At all.
"So what do you wanna eat?" I ask opening the fridge for the third time.
"Mmm I don't know, should we just go for omelettes?"
"Omelettes?" I say glancing at the eggs. "Okay."
Adam takes a seat on a chair after preparing the table. He takes out his phone and starts playing something.
"Do you want some vegetables or cheese?" I ask when the omelette starts to hold itself.
"Vegetables."
"Okay," I say.
When I'm done I put the omelettes in our plates, bring some bread and cheese, and Adam pours us juice.
"What a banquet," I say sarcastically.
"This is the first dinner we have at home, and the very first time we prepare it together," he says then takes a sip from his juice.
"Inshallah all our coming days will be even better."
When we're done Adam says he'll take a shower while I watch the last episode of Hyde Jekyll and I. When he comes out, he finds me sitting on the bed, crying my heart out.
"What's wrong?" he says with a shock.
I blow my nose and say with a muffled voice, "This is so sad."
"What's so sad? Why are you crying?"
I sniffle and point at the lap top screen and cry all over again.
"Robin," I say then blow my nose again.
"Are you serious Leen?" He says getting up. "I almost had a heart attack, I thought someone died!"
"I'm sorry I just can't watch oppa so sad," I say then suddenly out of the blue, I laugh. "I'm so silly, I'm sorry."
"Yes you are!" he laughs too. "Go to sleep."
"I'll finish watching this episode and sleep," I say. "What will you do?"
"I'll read for a bit then sleep too."
"Okay."
He takes a book from the bedside table drawer, lays on the bed and starts reading. I pause the drama and look at him, tilting my head.
"What is it?" he says when he notices me.
"You look cute with your hair wet," I giggle.
That makes him laugh out loud. "Cuter than Hyun Bin?"
"Ah-nee," I shake my head.
He throws me with a pillow, "Don't talk to me!"
I laugh.
The next day, I wake up as lazily as ever. This has been quite a long week. Just long!
I shake Adam awake and he just groans and falls asleep instantly.
"Seriously?" I roll my eyes. "Who said yesterday that they're so used to travelling?"
"Why would I wake up early on a weekend?" he says sleepily.
"Because we have a lot of visits to do?" I say forcing myself to get up. Maybe I'm not that lazy compared to Adam.
"When do we start?" he asks.
"Mariam called me a while ago and said she's been waiting since Fajr."
"So she saved us the time to think."
"Exactly."
Aya opens up and screams when she sees us. "I missed you both!" she says and hugs each one of us.
"We missed you too!" I say as girlishly as she.
"I'm hungry," Adam says boldly.
I glare at him and open my mouth to protest when Aya slaps him on his arm.
"Thanks Aya," I say encouragingly.
"Any time," she says proudly.
Mariam comes down the stairs when she spots us, "YOU TWO!" she screams and hurries toward us. "I missed you!" she says hugging both of us at the same time.
"We need to get in you know," Adam says yawning.
We walk inside. "What's wrong with you?" I whisper to Adam in a scolding tone.
"I'm so hungry and I'm dying to sleep." He yawns again.
Aunt Laila makes breakfast and meanwhile Omar and Hend wake up, as well as the children. Adam calls Ahmed over and we all sit around the table.
They keep asking us about the honeymoon and the places we went to, and I don't-I just don't-shut up.
"Let's go to disneyland once together," Mariam suggests. "That's be really cool."
"Oh my God!" I clap my hands together. "That'd be awesome! We can all go and tell my family as well."
Wow imagine that!
"Let's do it in summer then," Adam agrees. "We'll enjoy it."
After we finish breakfast, Adam goes upstairs to his room to back up some more stuff that he needs. Mariam, Aya and I transfer the plates to the kitchen. Ahmed was on the phone in the terrace and when he comes back he doesn't find Adam.
"Mariam," he calls.
"Yes?" she smiles at him.
"Where did Adam go?"
"Ah he went to his room," she says. "You can go."
"Okay thank you," he smiles at her and goes upstairs as well.
She stands smiling to herself when he's gone.
"Oh look at that!" I say approaching her.
"What?" she asks defensively.
"Were you just smiling to yourself like an idiot?" I elbow her and wink.
She rolls her eyes, "Of course not, you need to wear eye glasses sister-in-law."
"Oh that's too old-fashioned!"
"It's not," she sticks out her tongue at me. "Sister-in-law, sister-in-law," she keeps singing.
"Enough with that," I roll my eyes. "Now there's an important issue."
"Which is...?"
"You like Ahmed," I whisper. "Don't you?"
"Seriously, Lee!"
"You dooo!" I say in a sing-song tone that makes her laugh.
"Will you keep a secret?" she says shyly.
"Of course I would!" I say a little too enthusiastically.
"I'm happy he broke up with Reham," she says guiltily. "I don't mean anything, but she was really not good enough for him. I saw it all."
"Do you wish to be in her place?"
"I don't know," she breathes out. "He's everything that I want, but if he doesn't like me it's okay. I'm not obsessed," she laughs.
"Why wouldn't he like you?"
"Because he knew me for ten years and when he came to choose he chose Reham."
"Maybe it was just a test," I say. "Maybe he had to know what's bad in order to appreciate what's good."
"I don't know, but you know what? If someone else proposes to me I would say yes, because I think it's a hopeless case, and I don't wanna be disappointed because of anyone. He did not choose me, end of subject. I can do better."
"Since when do you like him?"
"Since I found out I hated Reham," she laughs. "At first I thought of him as a brother, with limits of course, but he was just like Adam and Omar and we were used to seeing him. Also when Omar and Adam were abroad he was always there for us, he called mom twice a day to see if we need something and to make sure everything is okay."
"He's an angel mashallah," I smile.
"Yes, he's been always there for Adam and he's been keeping him sane. Adam has gone through a lot after dad died and after his issue with Omar, I don't think he would have grown up so normally and brightly if he didn't know Ahmed."
"Do you think you like Ahmed for that?"
"I can't quite say specific reasons why I like him, you can say that I just can't find any other guy so mmmm i don't know. It just didn't happen that any other guy has grabbed my attention, even when I was in university, I've seen a lot, and dealt with a lot. There were some guys who were really nice and polite to me and it was obvious they would wanna propose, but I just wasn't attracted to any of them."
"Then how come you say you would say yes to others now?"
"Because too much hope is unhealthy."
"You should at least give him a chance to get over Reham."
"I don't quite think about it anymore," she says convincingly. "I know Allah is keeping the best for everyone."
"You're perfectly right," I smile thinking about my Adam.
In the afternoon we get ready to leave, we have to see my parents or mom would kill us. No joking. I go to Adam's room, stand in front of the mirror to fix my hijab and wait for him to take the boxes he's packed downstairs.
"Last one," he says lifting the last box and exiting the room.
"Okay," I say when my phone rings. I pick up after Adam leaves and hear mom's voice. Something's wrong with her, it's so clear in her voice that my heart swells up and shrinks inside me, sending pain to my limbs.
"Mom?" I say starting to panic. "What's wrong?"
She sniffles. "Salam-"
"Salam?!" I say raising my voice. "What about her? What happened? She's staying with you right? She told me!"
"Leen," she says to quiet me. "Her parents died."
Silence.
Gravity is suddenly zero, and I don't know how to stand anymore.
"What?" I whisper, as my knees sink to the floor.
"Someone betrayed them, their house was bombed," she sobs. "We just got a call from Gaza."
"No," I sob too. "No way this is real! They can't just die both of them! They're her entire family and world!" I keep shouting not aware of the words I'm uttering.
I hear Adam's hurried footsteps entering the room.
"Leen?" he says lifting me up, but my legs are too wobbly I keep falling. "What's wrong Leen?" he shouts concernedly.
I look at him with horror all over my face and flowing from my eyes. Tears are falling uncontrollably and I can't quite sense the world outside. His hands are firm around my arms and his eyes are seized with concern.
"S-Salam," I say stumbling to get up. "I have to get to her," I cry. "Take me, take me, quickly." I keep saying hysterically.
"Okay, okay," he says helping me up. "I'll take you, just calm down okay?" he says taking my bag and helping me put my shoes on. He holds me until we're down. They all gather around us and I can't really make out their faces. Tears are clouding my vision and I'm so dying to go to Salam that I don't understand anything else. "Adam," I say looking lost. "Adam, take me."
He notices how lost I seem so he draws me closer to him.
"We've got to go now," he tells them. "I don't know anything. I'll call you later." And we get out, I'm only walking with Adam's support.
Abed opens up and I run to my room. I find Salam on the floor sobbing in her hands with mom, dad, Jenin and Zeyad around her. Dad talks to Adam and tells him everything while I fall to the floor next to Salam and hug her so tight. I keep weeping and mentally curse myself for not even being able to say anything to make her feel better.
But what words could you say to someone who's lost their parents? What words could heal? Nothing.
"They're no longer here, Leen," she cries. "They left before I could even see them. I wish I was with them. I wish they didn't leave me alive without them."
"Don't say that," I cry even harder. "Don't you ever wish that! I can't imagine a life without you!" I wipe my eyes with my sleeve. "Allah is there Salam, he will get revenge on those who killed them. Allah will keep your parents safe with him. They're looking upon us now. They are waiting for us to join them in paradise one day inshallah."
She wraps her arms around me and sobs into my shoulder. "I already miss them. I want to see them, I just can't believe this is real."
I hug her tight and keep sobbing with her. "Salam, please stop, seeing you like this hurts me more."
An hour later, mom sends everyone outside saying Salam should rest for a while. I stay while she tries to sleep and draw the covers over her. Silent tears keep falling on her cheeks to the pillow and she doesn't let go of my hand.
"You're the only one I have now," she says. "Please, don't ever leave me Leen. Please."
"I can never leave you," I say swallowing my tears. "I will never do."
She hides her face between the bed and my shoulder and eventually falls asleep.
It just hits me like thunder. Nothing would hurt you more than seeing someone who means so much to you sleeping with tears on their face. Nothing can crack you like watching them fall asleep because of weakness, because the world knocked them down.
I stay with her for two more hours, running my fingers through her hair and wiping tears that keep falling. Even in her dreams she's still crying. I wish sadness were a person, I would so pleasurably kill him.
Someone knocks softly on the door. "It's Adam," he says lowering his voice.
I get up and walk slowly to the door, I open it carefully so it won't creak.
I look up at him wordlessly.
"Can you come out for a moment?" he almost whispers.
"Okay," I say getting out and closing the door behind me.
"Is she asleep?" he asks worriedly.
"Yes," I reply.
"Did she stop crying at all?"
"No," I say and my eyes start to well up with tears again.
He hugs me. He wraps his arms around my waist and bends slightly so his chin is resting on my head. "Stop crying," he says so softly that his voice would feel like molten chocolate.
"I can't see her like this," I say.
"I know," he rubs my back. "I perfectly know how she's feeling, and so also I can't see her like this."
"Can we take her home with us?" I ask. "I don't think there's a possibility I could leave her and go."
"Of course we can," he says. "I was actually gonna tell you that."
I break apart and look up at him. "Thank you Adam," I smile for the first time since the news. "I really don't know how to thank you for everything."
"You don't thank you husband," he says. "You just love him."
I hug him this time. "You're the best."
~~~
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Nouran. <3