The phonecall Harry had with Zayn that night on his birthday turned out to be a major eye opener for him. So much so that later that night, he called and apologized to his sister. Why? Because it was that night that he understood exactly what he was missing in his life.
It was similar to the night he made up with Zayn over hot chocolate after their argument at Planet Burger. That was the first time he realized there was someone out there who could cure his loneliness without having sex with him. What he hadn't yet figured out then was that Zayn could actually do more than that. He didn't even need to be there with him to cure his lonelines anymore because even when he wasn't there physically, he was in his mind. He was occupying his brain with thoughts about what Zayn was doing, who he was with and who he was thinking about.
The truth is Harry didn't really want to think about him. He wasn't supposed to. Especially since Zayn coming back in his life at all was a mere accident spearheaded by one simple event: a birthday that consisted of too much cake and playtime.
He could've tried justifying multiple occasions where he was allowed to think about Zayn in his free time. Occassions where Zayn had said or done things that if Harry didn't know any better, he'd think they meant Zayn still had feelings for him. But what would be the point? It had been almost five years. He was pretty sure whatever feelings Zayn once had for him had come and gone by now.
Then there was himself. He couldn't have still had feelings for Zayn either. Not after nearly five years of disdain he spent having for him. Just because Zayn suddenly came back in his life and told him the truth about everything, he couldn't just completely forget that ever happened, could he?
Or could it be that he wasn't forgetting, but ignoring? Could the frequency of Zayn's visits along with the late night phone conversations have jumbled up his brain and confused him into thinking he never stopped loving him when he really did? That was the only thing he could think of. Because other than that, there should have been no real reason to be thinking about him as much as he was.
That's why when Valentine's Day arrived and he was still wondering if Zayn had found anyone to spend the day with, he knew he needed to do something. He needed to stop thinking about that man and his pretty face, the way he would smirk at him whenever he said something clever. He had to stop thinking about how sweet he was with Benjamin, how he fit so well into the available spaces of Harry's life without needing to force his way in because he still remembered how Harry operated and what he needed to feel the most comfortable. He just had to stop thinking about him. Because if didn't, he might find himself doing something he wasnt truly ready to do.
"I'm really glad Benjamin is visiting his Grandmother today." Liam had said.
He was lying in Harry's bed with him, underneath the covers.
"Why do you say that?"
"Well because you sounded like you were having a lot of fun today. I would hate to have missed out on that."
Harry covered his eyes and groaned.
"Ugh, I'm so embarrassed."
But Liam reached over and took one of his hands from his face.
"Stop it. You don't have to be embarrassed. I had fun too. I always have fun."
"You always have fun?"
"I do. As long as you are enjoying it and as long as you always want to do this, I am having fun. So it's good."
Harry let down his other hand and smiled over at him, letting his dimples show.
"I'm glad you have fun. But I don't mean to be so... me. I guess I just let loose because when Benjamin is here I have to play the hush game. Which is kind of daring and fun. But sometimes I like to show my partner how I feel about what we're doing."
Liam made a face and Harry immediately clarified himself.
"Not a partner like that, Liam. I just mean it takes two and that makes you my partner... in a way."
"I get it, Harry. You don't always have to explain what you mean. We have terms and we're both doing really great about keeping them."
He sighed.
"Yeah. Maybe too great."
"What do you mean by that?"
Harry really didn't want to answer that. The last thing he wanted to tell Liam was that sex with him was starting to feel like it wasn't enough whenever they were through.
"Um... do you mind if I like... shower? And then afterwards, I'll make us something to eat."
Liam suspected it was more than that though. But if Harry didn't want to explain what he meant, he didn't want to force him to explain.
"Sure. I'll be here."
And what a relief that response was. So Harry took advantage of it and went inside the bathroom for a quick hot shower. He would have loved to milk it too. But he was also afraid that if he stayed too long, Liam would leave. So he only stayed in there about ten minutes and came back out.
When he opened the bathroom door, he expected to see Liam in the room waiting for him. But he wasn't. In fact, he was nowhere to be found and all his clothes were gone too. Panicking ever so much, he called out for him.
"Liam? Are you still here, Liam?"
By the time he made it to the livingroom, he saw Liam sitting on the couch. But he didn't look like he was just lounging around because he was fully dressed in his shoes and his coat. In front of him on the coffee table was a bouquet of long stemmed red roses in a tall glass vase.
"Um... what is that?"
"Something from You Know Who, apparently. It was delivered by a flower company while you were in the shower."
"You Know Who?"
"Yeah. Sorry. The card was sticking out there and I couldn't help but be curious. I'm guessing you have an admirer."
"An admirer?"
Feeling confused, Harry went over to the vase and plucked the card from it's metal holder. Then he read it under his breath.
"You told me Benjamin would be away today. So here's something to cheer you up in case you're lonely. From: You know Who."
"Hmm. Judging by your smile, I guess you do know who."
Harry hadn't realized he was smiling but he quickly stopped and cleared his throat.
"It's no one."
"Are you sure? Because to be honest, I don't really know anyone who would send red Roses on Valentine's day for no reason. It's okay if you're seeing someone."
"I'm not." He quickly said.
"I'm not seeing anyone. If I was seeing anyone, I wouldn't be having sex with you. I'd be with them, would I not?"
He didn't answer that. Instead he stood up.
"You know, I should probably head back. It's a three hour drive."
Harry saddened.
"Already? You didn't want anything to eat? I said I would cook something."
"No. I'm fine. I'll just pick something up on the way.
"Oh..."
"It's not because I think you're seeing someone. I promise. I just don't think it's good for us if I stay for anything more than what we initially agreed on."
"I get it."
"We'll meet up this weekend when we work on your book though, right?"
He nodded.
"Alright. See you then."
"See you then."
Whenever Liam stepped out into the cold air and closed the door behind him, Harry looked at the little card in his hand. Immediately, he smiled again. Just when he thought he successfully got this man out of his head for the day, he'd found his way in through a bouquet of red roses. Right away, he reached forward, took out a rose and began to smell it.
Whether this meant anything romantic on Zayn's part or not, here as it stood, the man who helped father his child just gifted him the flower of love on Valentine's Day. Was he wrong to think it could mean more? Could anything really ever come of them the second time around when a scenario like that seemed more impossible than likely?
Perhaps. But then again, seeing and getting along with Zayn ever again seemed impossible too. And now look where they were.
* * *
"Do you hate me?"
Zayn had looked back at Louis after he'd just put on his underwear.
"Hate you? No. Why would I hate you?"
"Because this wasn't as romantic as it could have been. I'm your first real date, and we bailed on dinner just for me to end up sucking your dick."
"That's no reason to hate you."
"It is when you've never dated before. That means you've never celebrated Valentine's Day with anyone before."
"True."
"So... I should have went to dinner and then we could have come back and did that."
"It's not too late to go to dinner. It's just eight o'clock."
"You'd still take me out?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
Louis shrugged.
"I don't know. You just seemed aloof. I always get this feeling that you're waiting on something."
Zayn scratched the back of his neck.
"Why do you always say that? What could I possibly be waiting on?"
"Something more. It's like... Sometimes I feel like I'm not enough for you. But I want to be. I asked you out for drinks that day because I like you. I want to meet your friends and your family and I want you to do the same for me."
"I don't have friends. I'm too busy for friends."
"But you have a family. You talk about your parents all the time."
"You've met my dad. He came up to the store a few times after you were hired."
"Yeah. But that's professionally. I mean personally. Your mom too."
Louis got out of bed and came over to him. Then he wrapped his arms around him.
"I just want to know that your parents would be okay with me seeing you. Meeting them on a personal level will tell me that. So I would love to do it sometime soon. When you're ready of course. But hopefully that's soon."
Zayn turned in his arms and smiled down at him.
"Maybe. But for now, I am pretty hungry. We'd better pick somewhere to eat and go."
"Do you feel like getting messy?"
"Depends. What did you have in mind?"
"Barbecue."
"Hmm. I do not feel like getting that messy. But you can. I'm sure there is something else on the menu I can eat. But you need to hurry up and get dressed so where ever we choose to go doesn't close before we get there."
"I'm going. Give me ten minutes."
As long as Louis was looking at him, Zayn was holding his grin big and proud. But as soon as Louis disappeared, Zayn made a fist and cringed. Louis wanted to meet his parents. Why so soon? Or was it too soon? He'd never dated before so he wasn't sure. However soon it was, he knew for sure that he wasn't ready for it.
Maybe this dating thing wasn't for him. Not in the way it was for Louis at least. This meant a lot and perhaps everything to him. But for Zayn, it mean very little and perhaps nothing. So in the mean time, where exactly was he supposed to go from here? And how exactly was he supposed to do anything without coming out of this the bad guy?
➡️ ➡️ ➡️
The following day was a Thursday. Louis was working at the front counter preparing to go through a call list of customers who needed to pick up their order when he heard the bell to the front door. But he didn't look up.
"Welcome to Hollywood Dry Cleaners. Will you be picking up or dropping off today?"
"Neither."
Seeing as those were usually the only two options, Louis quickly looked up. That's when he saw a familiar face.
"Oh. Hi. I remember you. You came in a couple months ago. Harry Styles, right?"
Harry put a hand to his chest.
"Yes. Wow. Do you remember all of your customer's names like that?"
"No." He chuckled out.
"But I do remember your story. The one about the boy who threw up on you."
"My son, yes."
"Yeah. How is he?"
"He's fine. The babysitter is watching him today."
"Oh. Well tell the cutie pie I said, hi. Not that he will probably even remember me."
"He might not. But I will."
Louis tilted his head sideways.
"So if you're not picking up or dropping off, what can I do for you today?"
"I was wondering if Zayn Malik was in."
"My boss. Yes. He's in."
"Okay. I'd like to speak to him if he's available."
"What is it regarding?"
"Uh... it's personal."
Louis raised his brow. Why would a customer want to talk to Zayn about a personal matter? That was strange. But he didn't want Harry to see him making faces at him so he granted his request.
"Sure. I'll tell him you're here. One moment."
"Thanks."
He made his way to the back and knocked on the open door. Zayn was at his desk doing work as usual.
"Zayn."
He looked up.
"Yes?"
"Someone is here asking to see you and you won't believe who it is."
He took off his glasses with a heavy exhale.
"Another victim of a stolen coat?"
"No. Harry Styles. That customer whose son threw up on his coat. The one you thought you knew that day."
Zayn quickly jumped up from his chair.
"What?"
"Whoa. Relax. If you want him to go away I can just tell him you're not available."
"What else did he say?"
"Nothing. Just that it was a personal matter. Do you want me to tell him you're unavailable?"
Zayn sat his glasses down then rushed to the office entrance to peek out. Harry didn't see him yet so he quickly ducked back inside. That was definitely the Harry Styles he knew. What was he doing here at his workplace of all places?
If he sent him away without even seeing what he wanted, Louis might get suspicious. But at the same time. He didn't want to wait to bring him back either, because he didnt want Louis to spend another moment with him and possibly find out something he didn't want to him to find out.
"No. I can speak to him. Send him back right away, please."
"Okay."
While Louis went to get him, Zayn quickly went over to sit down, put his glasses back on and pretend to be working. He didn't want Louis to think Harry was important to him. Seconds later, Louis came.
"Here is Mr. Styles."
"Thank you, Louis. You can close the door on your way out."
Zayn didn't meet eyes with Louis or Harry because he was afraid to give himself away. And good thing too. Because he would have seen how curious Louis was.
"Hey, you." Harry said.
"Hi."
"Every time I see you in glasses, it catches me off guard. When did you start wearing them?"
"Let's see. It was my third year of college. So a couple years ago. I think studying late at night in very dimmed rooms made my eyes weaker. But I only need them to read so I'm cool."
"Good. They're a good look for you. They make you look professional."
"Thank you."
When Harry smiled, Zayn smiled too. That's when he realized he was still sitting. So he quickly stood up and came around to him.
"Sorry. You can have a seat if you want to. And tell me why you're here because it's quite a surprise to see you. I will say that."
"I'm here because I got your gift."
"My gift?"
Harry paused.
"The roses?"
"Oh. Right. The roses. Yeah. I did send those."
Harry sat down in the big chair.
"They were really beautiful. I put them on the table in the kitchen so I can smell them when I eat breakfast in the morning."
Zayn raised his brow, quite intrigued.
"You like them that much?"
"I love them, actually. It's the first thing I've ever recieved on Valentine's day."
"It is?"
"Yeah."
"Wow."
"What?"
"So... I guess when you were joking about Benjamin being the only one to come into your life after me, you weren't simply joking."
"No. Never had anyone anyone special." He laughed out.
"You?"
Zayn sat on the corner of the desk next to him and looked down at him.
"No one special, no. At least not anyone special enough to send roses to."
Harry wasn't sure if Zayn was calling him special or not. But he liked to think he meant exactly what he said.
"If I'm so special, why didn't you call or come by?"
He said it in way that came off as teasing. But he was actually completely serious. He just didn't want Zayn to know he was that serious.
"I had plans."
"Valentine's Day plans?"
"If they were, would you hate me?"
Harry frowned. But he didn't meet his eyes.
"No. I would not hate you. You can do whatever you want. You're an adult and it's your life."
But Zayn reached out and softly touched Harry's chin so he could make him look at him. When he met eyes with him, it was like he was falling into a soft grassy field on a summer's day. He could get lost in them. He wished he could. Instead, he frowned and dropped his hands.
"They weren't necessarily special Valentine's Day plans. But they were plans on Valentines Day. I had to have an important dinner with an employee of mine."
"Which one?"
"Important means I can't discuss it with you. But just know, as I said, it wasn't anyone I would ever want to send roses to."
It would be an understatement to say Harry was relieved.
"Well, okay. I can live with that." He said as he stood up.
"But I do need to get home to Benjamin so Niall can leave. I basically just wanted to say thank you for the roses. It really made my day."
"You're welcome. But listen..."
"Hm?"
"It's probably not a good idea for you to come by here."
"It isn't?"
"No. Not unless it's an emergency. You know, if something is wrong with you or Benjamin."
"Oh..."
"But don't panic. It isn't you. I like seeing you. And I'm going to come by like I always do so I can see you. I just don't want my employees to think having personal visits during work hours is okay. I have to set an example, you know. My dad gave this business to me in hopes I would be responsible."
"Right. I'm so sorry. I didn't think about that at all. Like I said, I just... I wanted to thank you for the flowers. But it was such a thoughtful gift that I didn't want to do it over the phone. And I figured since I was on my way home from the office-"
"It's okay."
But Harry got up out of his chair and slid past Zayn.
"No it's not okay. You're right. I am causing you to set a bad example for your employees. But it won't happen again, I swear. Unless there is an emergency like you said."
"Harry."
"I'll see you later, Zayn."
Harry looked unsure of how to exit. He didn't even know how to say goodbye after what he was just told. So he quickly scurried to the door, opened it and went out of it.
Zayn just exhaled and put two hands over his face. "You can't keep doing this to him, you asshole." He said to himself. "Not if you really care."
"Everything alright?"
Zayn took his hands from his face and looked towards the door. Louis was standing there with a slight look of concern.
"Yeah. Everything is fine. Why?"
"It looked like Mr. Styles left here in a hurry. I wasn't sure if something went wrong or not."
"Nothing went wrong. It's fine. He was asking about a job." He lied.
"Really? Are you thinking about hiring him?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"We're full."
"For now. There's still a matter of the winter coat thief, you know."
"I said we're full, Louis." He said.
"And he already has a job. So leave it alone."
Louis noticed he was quite irritated. So he tried to reach for Zayn's hand to calm him. But Zayn hadn't noticed when he got up from the desk and returned to his office chair.
Feeling left out of the loop, Louis just didn't say anything else. Instead, he folded his arms and left the office so Zayn could be alone. But he didn't leave feeling like everything was okay. He left wondering why everytime that Harry Styles came and left, Zayn seemed to be going just a little bit out of his mind.