Lisa POV
I could feel the weight of her in my arms when I woke up - that was all I could focus on for a moment, and it was enough to get me to forget that she would be leaving later that day. For a blissful second, I existed in a space beyond reality, where the two of us could actually be together, where I didn't have to worry about her leaving me.
But then I opened my eyes and saw her lying there, and remembered that she was due to leave in just a few hours. I held her close, closing my eyes and willing myself back to sleep, so I didn't have to face up to the day, but it was too late. I was awake. I rested my head against her shoulder, not wanting to pull away just yet.
"Lisa?" her voice surprised me. I pulled back to look at her and saw that her eyes were already open.
"Jennie," I quickly lifted myself out of bed and got to my feet. Any moment I spent here with her, any second longer, it was just going to make things harder when it would be the time for her to leave for real.
"Are you alright?" she asked quietly, and I instantly felt a twist of guilt for acting so off with her. She didn't know that I was protecting myself. As far as she was concerned, I had just switched from the honeymoon phase to a jerk over the course of a day, and there was no good reason for it. I sat back down on the bed next to her and reached out to take her hand. Yes, it was only going to make parting more painful, but I wasn't going to let her leave thinking I felt anything but good things for her.
"I'm fine," I promised her. "Just thinking about what you need to do today."
"How about we have some breakfast, and we can go out and pick up whatever you need for the shelter?" I suggested, to which her face lit up.
"That sounds great," she agreed, her teeth resting on her bottom lip for the briefest mo ment as she looked at me. And I felt that warmth in my stomach that builds of desire for her. But I knew I had to face up to reality sooner or later, and making love to her again was only going to render that harder; nearly impossible.
She slid out of bed and headed through to the bathroom to get ready, and my gaze was drawn to her feet no, her ankle, that thin loop of metal resting around her skin. It was one of the first things I'd noticed about her, so delicate and tempting. I got to my feet once more, this time on the way to the kitchen so I could grab something for the two of us for breakfast. She was going to have a long day ahead of her, and the least I could do was make sure she was well-fed.
As I laid out some food for breakfast, the way I had done the morning before, I was alone with my thoughts once more and found my mind drifting back to the last few weeks in her company. I had never believed that my feelings for someone could grow so sharply. It was strange to think that a mere month prior to this I had no idea who she even was, and now the thought of her leaving felt like a knife twisting deep into my gut. I had worked so hard to make sure my life was chaos-proof, to keep my job going and my family happy and my home comfortable, and now this woman had dropped into the middle of it and made me question everything that I had been so certain of before. I wondered if she knew the power she had over me.
She emerged from the bathroom, face cleaned, hair brushed and pulled back. She joined me at the counter. "What is it?" I asked her, and she cocked her head at me.
"I just can't believe this is the last day I get to spend with you," she confessed, and I felt that knife twist deeper into my gut.
"You heard what Rosé said," I reminded her, as much reiterating the point to myself as to Jennie. "It's the best way for you to get better. I can't give you everything they can down there."
"I know," Jennie agreed. "But I just-"
Whatever she had been planning on saying, she stopped herself dead in her tracks, silencing herself swiftly and sharply. I knew how she felt. It was as though I didn't trust myself to say anything other than careful repetitions of the points that Rosé had made the day before, as though I would do something stupid, like declare my love for her and beg her to stay, if I let my mouth run away with me.
"I'll call my driver to take us into the city center," I told her. "Then we can pick up what ever you need."
"You don't want anything to eat?" she asked,
and I shook my head.
"I'm not hungry," I replied. It was the truth. My stomach was grinding with the stress, with the fear of saying goodbye to her. Of what it might mean if I couldn't let go so easily.
I called up the driver and carefully, slowly got ready in the bathroom. This was the last image she was going to have of me for a long time, and I wanted it to be a good one.
When I emerged from the bathroom once more, she was still sipping on her coffee - and she raised her eyebrows when she laid eyes on me.
"Wow," she grinned, her gaze flicking up and down my body. "You look..."
She got off the chair, padding in her bare feet towards me, the anklet clinking slightly as she moved. She slipped her hands around my neck, and for a moment I thought she was going to kiss me, as though she was going to beg me to stay. I looked deep into her eyes and smiled down at her, ready to accept at once. But then, I realized she was fixing my collar, making it straight against my neck. Then she withdrew her hands and the moment was gone.
"There," she stepped back, satisfied. "You look very handsome."
I thought I heard the faintest hint of a wobble in her voice, and some part of me wanted to press a little further to find out where that came from, but downstairs my driver had arrived, and I knew we had to get going.
I took Jennie down to the car that was waiting for us outside, and she slipped into the back seat and leaned against the plush leather, smiling.
"I can't remember the last time I was in a car this fancy," she remarked with a fluttering smile as I joined her in the back, after giving the driver our destination.
"Well, that means you won't soon forget this one, huh?" I shot back playfully, and she reached over and touched my hand as she laughed. The contact, however brief, was electric. I felt as though she had sent a jolt through my whole system. I withdrew my hand with out thinking, knowing that this was going to be hard enough as it was. Her smile curled down at the corners, and I felt instantly awful for making her feel that way.
"Sorry," I shook my head. "My hands are cold. I don't want yours getting that way as well."
She turned to look out the window and watched as the streets whipped by in front of her. I noticed that her breathing was getting a little shallower as we headed for the centre of the city.
"Are you alright?" I asked softly, and she
glanced over at me and nodded. "I'll be alright," she promised me.
"It's just that I haven't been this far into the city since... since, you know, since they found me. It just reminds me of all of it, that's all."
I wanted to curse myself out. How could I have been so stupid? I should have taken her somewhere else, somewhere that she wouldn't be dragged back into those dark memories that lived inside her.
"We can go somewhere else," I suggested, "Anywhere. You name the place."
"Back in time, so none of this ever happened?" she suggested with a wry smile, and then she shook her head and continued, "No, really. It's alright. I have to get used to being in the city again, I can't avoid it for the rest of my life."
We arrived at the shopping centre. She was instantly pinned close to my side, looping her arm through mine and clutching it tightly as we made our way into the large, modern building. To anyone passing by, we must have looked like any other regular couple. The thought made me happy, even though it couldn't have been further from the truth.
"So, what do you need?” I asked her, and she shook her head and raised her eyebrows.
"You've already been so generous with me, I don't want to exploit that," she replied.
"I just want you to be comfortable when you go to the shelter," I told her firmly. "Anything you think would make it easier, tell me."
"Come on; let's start with some new clothes, huh?" I suggested, and she managed a smile and nodded.
"That sounds like a good start," she agreed, and we ducked into the shop closest to the entrance, one that offered a range of sleek, modern clothes for women like her.
We spent most of the afternoon going in and out of stores and shops and chains until we had everything that she could possibly need to start a new life - clothes, toiletries, make-up, books. She loved the books the most and spent a long time tracing her fingers over the spines of the novels in the adult fiction section of the bookstore before coming to rest on a handful that she knew she would read.
"I used to love reading so much." She sighed, as we paid for the books and I took the bag for her. "I can't remember the last time I just sat and read a book in one sitting. I love it so much."
"Well, now you've got plenty to keep you busy." I grinned at her, and she bumped her hip against mine playfully as we made our way out of the shop.
"Yeah, I think Rosé's going to have a hard time getting my nose out of those things," she admitted, and I laughed.
"Oh, my sister has her ways," I wiggled my fingers in play-mysteriousness, and she linked her arm through mine once more. I felt that same twinge in the bottom of my stomach, the one that said that this was right, that us being together made sense. I ignored it once more. I had to support her in doing the right thing, even if it meant being away from me.
"Anything else you can think of?" I asked her quickly, glancing at my watch. Rosé had said someone would come by to pick her up in the evening, so I only had a matter of hours left with her at this point. The thought made my head hurt.
"Unless you want to buy me the house to put all this stuff in, I think we're good," she teased. "Thank you for all this, Lisa. Really. I don't know what I'd have done without you..."
"It's just stuff," I shrugged. "I can spare the money. It makes no difference to me."
"No, not just the things," she shook her head. "More than that. These last few weeks, I never thought I..."
She trailed off, and for a moment I thought she was just searching for the right words. And then I saw her eyes lock on to something behind us, and her face drained to almost deathly pale. Her arm slipped from mine, her whole body going limp.
"Jennie?" I went to touch her hand, but she pulled it away from me. She was still staring at something in the distance. I twisted around to try and catch a look at it, but just found myself faced by the bustling crowds of week end shoppers. I couldn't see anything there that could have frightened her. And yet, when I turned back to her, she looked as though she was going to pass out.
Her legs began trembling, and I quickly darted towards her and wrapped my arms around her, keeping her from going crashing into the ground. She clutched on to me, her fingers sinking into my back, as though she was hanging on for dear life.
"We need to get out of here," she mumbled my ear, her voice taut and tense. "Now."
"Jennie, what'sI'll tell you when we're back in the car,” she promised me. "I just need to get out of here. Please, Lisa."
I could hear the fear in her voice, could feel the tension written all over her body, and I knew she wasn't kidding. With my arm around her waist, I manoeuvred us to the front of the mall once more, where the driver was still waiting for us. I hurried her to the car, and she practically dived into the backseat, cowering against the far window. I quickly loaded up the bags and joined her.
"Back home, please," I leaned forward and gave the driver his orders, and we drove away swiftly. She pushed herself up on the seat, peering back at the mall, as though she was convinced that whatever had scared her so much was coming after us right there and then.
"Jennie, you need to tell me what's going on," I told her, and she turned her gaze back to mine. Her eyes were glazed over, as though she was in another place entirely. She closed them for a moment, took a deep, shaky breath, and then looked at me once more. This time, she seemed more focused, even though I could still feel the nervous energy zipping around her body, like she was on a countdown timer to explosion.
"I saw him in there," she told me, her head drooping down, the exhaustion taking her.
"Who? Who did you see?" I turned around, wondering if I could catch a glimpse of who ever it was who had terrified her so deeply. She shook her head, and I realized there were tears dripping down her face.
"The man who..." She shook her head again and started over. "Kai, the man who used me."
I fell silent. A swell of rage hit me, so intense it made my head spin, and some stupid part of me wanted to turn the car around, find this man, and let him know exactly what I thought of him. But I knew that wouldn't help her right now; she didn't need my anger piled on top of everything else. She needed me to take some of her pain, to carry it for her a while.
"Your pimp?" I asked gently, and she nodded. I hadn't seen anything, but that didn't mean she was wrong. Maybe her brain had conjured the image and forced her to re-live it. It didn't matter. She needed my support, and that was all that mattered.
"He... he was the one who ran the place," she continued, the words tumbling out of her as though she didn't know how to stop them. "I was so scared of him. But he took a liking to me. He thought... he told me..."
She gasped for breath and buried her face in her hands, and fell silent once more. I reached over and held her again. I could feel her en tire body trembling in my arms, as though she had been set to vibrate. I closed my eyes and ignored the anger in my system, focusing that energy on taking care of her instead. She needed me. And if I ever got the chance with that guy again, I would kill him with my bare hands.
We arrived back at the penthouse. Jennie was practically comatose on the seat, not crying anymore, but just staring off into space like all those dark memories were running through her brain like an awful movie. I scooped her into my arms, and she nestled against my chest as I carried her to the house.
I laid her down gently on the couch and kneeled before her; she took a deep breath and opened her eyes, focusing them on me once more.
"I can't go to the shelter tonight," she told me, her voice tiny. "I can't go. I can't leave this place. I can't leave "
"Let me call Rosé," I told her. "Give me five minutes. I'm sure she'll understand."
I quickly stepped out of the room and called my sister.
"Lis?" Rashi answered the phone. "Everything alright?"
"Everything's-" I almost replied in the affirmative on instinct, but I stopped myself at the last second.
"Jennie thinks she saw someone at the mall," I told her, lowering my voice. "Her ex pimp?"
"Oh," Rosé sounded surprised. And then she changed her tune. "Oh."
"What's going on?" I asked urgently.
"One of the girls at the shelter saw some guy hanging around the place," she remarked.
"Looked shifty, but she didn't recognize him. Apparently, he was there all afternoon earlier this week."
"You think it might have been him?" I asked.
"I have no idea." She sighed, the rush of static filling my ear. "But take care of her, alright? It could just be her paranoia, but still. She's going to need your support."
"I want her to stay here with me," I told her firmly. "I don't think she's up to going back to the shelter, not yet. specially not if there's some guy there stalking around...”
"You really think it's the right thing?" Rosé asked fretfully, and I peeked inside to look over at the couch, where Jennie was still lying, limp as a ragdoll.
"I'm certain," I assured her, "I'll call you tomorrow, and we can take it from there, alright? But tonight, she just needs to be with me."
I finished up the call, stepping over the cluster of bags the driver had brought up for us a few minutes earlier. They seemed so strange now, a reminder of a time that had only just passed but felt like a million years ago. I joined Jennie on the couch once more and felt painfully impotent in the face of her agony. I had never dealt with something like this be fore in my life. But I wanted her to be well, wanted her to feel safe here, and that meant stepping up and doing what I had to.
"Jennie, what do you want me to do?" I asked her gently. "Anything. Just tell me. What would make you feel better right now?"
"If that man was wiped off the face of the earth and I never had to think about him again?" she replied, snorting mirthlessly as she said it. "I'm sorry; I know you're trying to help..."
"It's alright," I assured her. "I understand. Hey, maybe I could run you a bath? You have all that new stuff to try out..."
"Actually, that sounds good." She nodded, managing to push herself upright. The tears had smudged some of her make-up down her face. I reached over and brushed away a smudge of black on her cheek. She leaned her head into my hand and smiled.
"I'm so glad you're here," she murmured, and I felt my heart swell once more. It was new to me, and I wasn't sure I would ever get used to how intense my feelings were for her.
I got to my feet and headed through to the bathroom to run her a bath. I came through to fetch her, offering her the soft, silky robe she had picked out from the store.
"Here," I handed it to her. "Take as long as you need. And if you want anything, you can just shout through, alright?"
"Alright," she agreed, and then she hesi tated, crumpling the robe in her hand, and shook her head. "Lisa, I don't want to be away from you. When I saw him, I felt as though he was... I felt as though he was in me again; in my head. I don't think I can be alone right now."
I stared at her for a moment, not sure what she was asking for.
"What do you need?" I asked, and she bit her lip.
"Can you sit through there with me?" she replied, and I nodded at once. And then, an idea hit me.
"You go through and climb in,” I told her. "I'll be there in a second."
She headed to the bathroom, and I went to grab one of the books we'd purchased earlier that day.
When I joined her in the bathroom, she was already in the bath. It was dark in there, but not so dark that I couldn't make out her face drawn, nervous, her eyes darting back and forth even as I walked in. There were enough bubbles in the bath that I couldn't make out much of her body, except for the tops of her knees where she had drawn them into her chest. The scent of jasmine and rose filled the room, sweet and dark and spicy, like her, and I took up a spot on the outer edge of the tub beside her. She flicked a little splash of water on me, still playful, despite it all.
"I'm not sure if I can read that in here," she pointed to the book I was holding. "It's too dark."
"I thought I could read it to you," I replied, and a smile spread over her face. She leaned back on the edge of the bath and closed her eyes.
"That sounds perfect," she said, and I adjusted a few candles to make the space read able. I opened the book and began to read to her.
There was something shockingly intimate about that moment, and it took me a while to work out why. She had been rudely reminded of the worst things that had ever happened to her, in front of me. And, instead of running or hiding herself away, like a crab crawling back into its shell, she had told me the truth. She had let me help her. She had accepted my aid any way that I wanted to give it and that showed a trust that I wasn't sure even I had put in anyone else before.
I watched her face as I read to her, the sound of my voice filling the bathroom as I ran through the first chapter of the fantasy novel she had picked out. Slowly, a smile curled up onto her face, and softness took her being, as though she was letting go of what had just happened. I wanted nothing more than to slip into the bath with her, to hold her tight and let the water warm both of us together, but I knew that I had to let her set the pace when it came to that. She was so clearly shattered in so many ways, in ways I would never truly understand, and that meant I had to hold back where I could, no matter how much I wanted her.
I finished the chapter, and her eyes fluttered open once more.
"Thank you," she said. "That was... I feel so much better now..."
"It's alright if you don't," I told her gently. "You don't have to pretend with me."
She let her gaze lower once more and nodded.
"I think I need to go to bed," she admitted to me. "Is that alright? You don't mind?"
"Jennie, whatever you need, remember?" I reminded her. I got to my feet reluctantly, not wanting to leave her alone, but I knew I needed to give her the space. I headed out of the bathroom once more and glanced at the bags we'd purchased earlier that day.
I hung back for a moment and looked over at Jennie. I knew that I couldn't fix her with money or things, but only time and my care for her. And I knew, in that moment, that I was willing to do whatever it took to make that happen. I was here for Jennie, for good. No matter what happened. Nothing could stop me.
_______________________________________________________