Content warnings; mild language
(Y/N)'s POV
I woke up to my head pounding horrendously. It felt as if someone were battering the inside of my head with a hammer, persistently. It hurt so bad, it was almost insufferable. Not to mention, my eye felt swollen and it hurt to even blink sometimes. I knew that it had to be bruised up.
"Owww.." I groaned, touching my head only to realize I had bandages wrapped around it.
"Hey! Don't touch your head." Jean said, as he softly grabbed my hand and placed it back on the bed.
"Where the hell am I?" I asked, bewildered. I looked around and perceived that I wasn't in any classroom of some sort, nor was I on the fields like I was suppose to be.
"You're in the infirmary. You've finally woken up." He said, giving me the worried look.
How and why am I here?
"What happened? Why am I here?" I asked, slightly furrowing my eyebrows.
"What do you remember?" Jean queried.
"I remember I was on the field—playfully fighting against you and then any and everything after that was just blank." I explained.
"The best way to put this is, someone had thrown a rock at you and it knocked you out. You hit your head on the ground pretty damn hard." He said, ruffling his hair in frustration.
"Huh!? Why would anyone do that to me? Who did it?!" I asked, anxiously.
"That's the bad news, (Y/N). We still don't know who threw the rock, we're just glad you're okay." He smiled and held my arm.
Does someone hate me that much to potentially throw a rock at me?
"Wait, the battle? Did we win?" I asked, looking up at him.
He sighed, "Sadly, you and I both didn't get to fight. I had to get taken out so that it was fair, but I didn't mind because that meant that I got to watch over you." He lowered his eyes and gave me a relieving smile.
I smiled back.
I know I said I didn't want to fight this go around, but I was actually looking forward to it. Despite me being nervous about it, it would've been challenging and fun.
But someone had to ruin my chance to fight..Who on earth could despise me that much?
I held my tears in the best that I could.
"Where's everyone?" I asked, wondering if they were all okay.
"They were all here a few minutes ago to check up on you, but you were still out cold. I don't know where they are now." He said, shrugging.
"...And Eren?" I asked, reluctantly.
He looked at me, as if he didn't want to answer that question, but he did for my sake.
"He was here too, surprisingly." He answered, shaking his head.
Who would've known Eren cared enough to show up.
"I should get home now." I got out of the bed and tried to stand.
"No! (Y/N), you shouldn't be walking." Jean stood up.
I turned a blind eye to him and proceeded to walk towards the door, but I felt extremely lightheaded and dizzy. I couldn't seem to stand up straight, not to mention my pounding headache and blurred eyesight.
I was about to fall backwards onto the ground, until I felt Jean's incredibly strong and warm chest against my head, catching my fall. He wrapped his arm around my stomach.
"Hence, why I said you shouldn't be walking." He said, lifting me off the ground and into his brawny arms.
"Thank you, but how am I suppose to get home?" I asked him.
"I'll carry you if I have to." He responded.
"No, Jean. Please. That's asking for way too much." I giggled, as I playfully punched his chest.
"It's no problem, (Y/N). I'd rather carry you home, than to watch you stumble upon yourself trying to get there. Secondly, you don't even live that far at all." He elucidated, looking into my eyes.
I heard the door swing open.
"What the—Awww, how romantic! Am I interrupting something?!" Hanji asked, astounded.
"No, not at all. She's too dizzy to walk, so I'll have to carry her home." Jean stated, as he carried me out of the door.
"Cliche love story, huh? Anyways, (Y/N), I'm so glad you're finally awake! Get well soon, I love you bunches!" She shouted at me, as she followed Jean and I out of the room.
"Thank you." I stated, even though all of that shouting was making my head hurt even more—but Hanji was super sweet, I'm grateful to have her as a friend, if anything.
As we were walking out I saw Levi and..
Eren?
He was leaning against the wall, just outside of the room door I was in and he looked at me when he had finally heard the door open. He had a sorrowful facial expression, as he watched Jean carry me away. Levi on the contrary, offered Jean his horse, so it'd be easier to take me home.
"Bring that horse back when you've dropped her off, got it brat?" He commanded.
"Yes, Captain." He nodded.
"It's out in the stables." He stated, firmly.
Jean carried me all the way, until we had reached the stables.
"I didn't know you guys had horses?" I said, curiously.
"On rare occasions we practice on them, but they're usually used for other things. No one really uses the horses besides the teachers, otherwise they tend to sit here." He explained.
"Oh, I wanna ride one!" I shouted like a little child.
"Well, it's your lucky day." He smiled, "Hold on to this or lean against it, while I bring the horse out." He said sternly, putting me down onto the ground.
He really doesn't want me to fall. How sweet of him.
I nodded and leaned against the stables, until he brought out the horse. I couldn't wait to sit down because I started feeling a tad bit nauseous.
"Give me your hand." He held out his hand, waiting for me to grab it and so I did. He lifted me up carefully and I sat down on the horse. He hopped onto it right after me.
"Hold on to me." He held the straddle on the horse and waited for me to grab onto him, before he motioned the horse to take off.
I hugged his waist tightly and found myself snuggling up against him and I could tell he liked that. As the horse took off, I enjoyed the ride and laid my head on Jean's back. Although the small bumps throughout the horse ride prompted my headache, I had fun.
"We're here." He slightly moved, causing me to lift my head up.
"Already?" I said, disappointed.
He laughed, "You were having fun, weren't you? Using my back as your personal pillow." He teased.
"It was fun while it lasted." I laughed.
He hopped off of the horse and tied it to my small fence in the front yard. He held out his arms, waiting for me to fall into them. I flew into them happily and he held me and carried me, all the way inside to my comfortable living room couch. He held my head and carefully placed it down on the pillow, along with the rest of my body.
Such a gentleman.
I felt bad that he had to go through all of this trouble just because I'm currently unable to walk properly.
I felt useless and weak.
"I'm sorry that you had to go through all of this, Jean." I apologized, feeling a tad bit guilty.
"It's not your fault, but apart from that, I'd do it all over again if I had to. For you, of course." He blushed.
Aw, he looks so cute when he blushes.
I smiled, but for some reason, I couldn't get over the fact of how sad Eren looked. It looked like he actually cared that I was hurt for once and it was—staggering.
I wonder what he was thinking.
"I wish you could stay..." I blurted out nervously, distracting my odd thoughts.
"I do too, but I've gotta get this horse back to Levi or he's gonna kick my ass." He rubbed his head.
I pulled his shirt, causing him to lean over the couch. I sat up and kissed his soft lips fiercely. He kissed me back slowly, putting his warm hand up to my throat, gripping it loosely.
I stopped to lay back down and admire him for a second or two. I don't get why they called him horse-face because if he was a horse, he'd be a handsome one.
"Wow...I didn't even have time to really react, but that was amazing." He said, flustered.
I laughed, "Go take that horse back." I playfully demanded.
"Yes ma'am, I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked.
"Oh, I don't know. I think I'm gonna stay home. My headache is too damn painful." I said, sadly.
"Fair enough, I don't even know why I asked that. Take all the time you need to rest. You're gonna need it." He said, walking out and closing the door behind him.
I don't know what came over me and why I decided to kiss him, but I don't regret it. The feeling of loneliness crept on me yet again. I was beginning to feel how I felt my whole entire childhood all over again. I decided to watch TV to kill some of the time because I was bored out of my mind. I wanted to get better—and fast too, because going to school was the only fun thing I've ever experienced.
❀
I ended dozing off and woke up to the sound of my rumbling stomach. I was so hungry, I felt like my stomach was going to eat itself. I surely needed that Sasha appetite right about now. I decided to make a sandwich or something and I thought long and hard how I was going to do that; thoroughly considering I couldn't even walk because of how dizzy I get.
Ugh, this headache is the worst! Stupid rock and stupid concussion. Maybe if my head wasn't so big, we wouldn't have this issue.
As I sat up, I heard a knock on my door. I knew it was night time by now because I felt extremely tired earlier and who knows how long I had crashed.
Shit. Guess I'll have to crawl to it.
"Just a minute!" I shouted as loud as I could, so whoever it was could hear me.
I got on my knees and began crawling to the door like a damn animal. I reached for the knob and opened it, only to see someone holding a bouquet of flowers. I looked up and saw that it was Eren, staring at me with his mouth wide open. He looked like he wanted to laugh so badly, which I don't blame him.
I'm sure I look stupid.
"You're not gonna run away again, are you?" I asked, jokingly.
"Shut up. No I'm not, but why are you on the floor?" He asked, holding in his laughter.
"Don't you dare say anything! I get lightheaded if I stand up." I warned him, playfully.
He chuckled, "Okay I won't, but these are for you." He held out the flowers, waiting for me to grab them.
Flowers? Eren brought me some flowers? I find that hard to believe, especially after everything that was said to each other.
"These are beautiful." I said, astonished.
I grabbed them from his hands, "And here I thought you hated me, but how wrong was I? You brought me flowers." I said joyously, as I buried my face in them.
He ignored what I said and proceeded with a question.
"How are you feeling, (Y/N)?" He asked curiously, as he helped me up.
"Well, I uh—I feel okay, I'm hungry and my head hurts." I replied, complaining.
"Do you need anything?" He asked, politely.
I didn't know he cared enough to do this for me, maybe we're not enemies after all?
"Yeah, you." I answered.
His cheeks turned pink, "W-what?" He asked shockingly, as his green eyes broadened.
"I need you to make me a sandwich...please." I smiled.
He sighed, "Right, of course. I got you." He slowly smiled back and aided me to my couch. Afterwards, he headed to the kitchen.
I placed the flowers on the coffee table. I leaned my head on the cushion and faced his direction, since my house had a dining room and living room combination. I watched him grab the sandwich meat and other condiments.
"Thank you Eren, seriously. It's kinda hard to do these things when I'm by myself at the moment." I smiled, thanking him.
How in the fuck am I gonna take a shower?
"Why are you making that face?" He queried, looking over at me.
"Sorry, just thinking about something." I sighed and then gave him a small smile.
"But anyway like you said, I'd hate to see anyone struggle, even you." He admitted, shyly.
"I agree." I nodded my head.
"I'm sorry." He sat down on the couch right next to me and handed me my sandwich, after he finished preparing it.
I grabbed it and started gnawing down on it. It was a turkey sandwich and probably my favorite at this point, since it's all I've really been eating.
"Damn, is it good?" He asked, his eyes widened.
"Hell yeaaaah." I responded, with a mouth full.
He laughed at me, "You really are a Sasha clone." He stated, raising his eyebrows.
He probably heard that conversation between Jean and I.
"I'll take that as a compliment." I shrugged, continuing to eat.
"(Y/N), there's something I've been meaning to tell you." He stated, in a very serious tone.
"What is it?" I asked, looking at him.
"I've been mad at you because you got to do the things I wanted and you got all of the attention that I wanted as well, when you had just gotten here." He admitted, lowering his eyes.
"I get that, I really do." I said to him.
"Nah, I got so mad at you because you didn't work for anything like I did. And I blamed you for me getting replaced in the team battle, when it was my fault I couldn't work the practice gear." He said, defeated.
"It's okay, Eren." I said, trying to lighten the mood.
"I took some of my anger out on you, but truth is, I'm s-sorry for everything—like genuinely." He said shyly, as his cheeks slightly heated up.
I blushed timidly.
His apology was much appreciated. It's not always easy to apologize, so I acknowledged his effort.
"Thank you, Eren." I smiled.
"I'm also really sorry about the whole rock incident." He said to me, rubbing his head.
"That's not your fault, no need to be sorry." I replied, nudging his arm.
"Actually, it is my fault because I threw the rock, (Y/N)." He admitted, shamefully.
"W-what?" I muttered, as I looked over at him in disgust.
Are you kidding me right now? He's gotta be joking haha...
"I didn't mean for it to hit you though, I swear!" He stated, trying not to get me all riled up.
"Wow—and here I am, thinking you're actually a kind person for once, but I was wrong about you." I said, murdering the rest of my sandwich with my hands, unintentionally.
"But technically, it was suppose to hit Jean—not you." He told me, as if it were to make me feel better.
"Really? That's your excuse? Is that suppose to make me feel any better?" I queried, indignantly.
"It's not a fucking excuse, idiot. I was aiming for Jean and you got in the way." He muttered, rolling his eyes.
"So, you were trying to hurt Jean? Fucking unbelievable! You know, you could've caused some serious brain damage—or even worse, you could've killed me, you idiot!" I yelled at him.
He didn't say anything, he just stared at me with this eerie look in his eyes.
"You even ruined my chance of fighting, but yet, you had the audacity to say I ruined your chances. Did I throw a damn rock at your head?" I questioned, practically screaming in his ear.
"You didn't throw anything at me, but you did ruin my chances, why can't you accept that!?" He voiced, arguing back.
"Oh, so this is about you now? Did you even think about what I truly did to you, for you to act so damn rude to me?" I disputed—I felt an insane amount of rage running through my veins.
"(Y/N), you don't get it, do you?" He asked me, shaking his head.
"Shut the fuck up, Eren! All I ever did was try to fix things with you, after you relentlessly kept pushing me away —like I was some kind of freak to you." I exclaimed, as I watched him get up from the couch.
"I realized that, but you're fucking misunderstanding me." He responded, softly clenching his fist.
"Yeah, you realized that after you tried murdering me with a rock. The only reason you're here is because you feel guilty. You don't really care about me." I remarked, staring at him with resentment in my eyes.
Lord knows I wanna slap the shit out of him.
"I don't need to like you or even care about you to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm here because I wanted to apologize for everything—not to make up and be friends with you." He explained, slightly raising his voice at me.
"I don't get you! One minute you're apologizing to me and the next minute you're a dick. You say the rudest things as if—as if I don't have feelings." I voiced, as I flailed my arms up in annoyance.
"I have feelings too, goddamn it! I came here to say how sorry I am—I even bought you fucking flowers to show you that I feel remorse! I'm not asking for your forgiveness because I don't need it or you." He voiced, screaming in my face.
"Well, your apology isn't accepted anyway—whether you wanted my forgiveness or not. I hate you, Eren." I frowned, as I glared up at him.
He looked at me with the most upsetting look in his eyes when those words spilled from my lips.
He swiftly frowned, "I hate you too." He replied, lowering his eyes.
"Get out." I demanded.
"You can report me to Levi and the others if you want (Y/N), but for what it's worth—I'm sorry. That's all I came here to say, if you don't accept it, then so be it." He looked over at me one last time, before walking out.
"Your apology isn't worth a damn thing, just go." I said, my voice cracking from the internal affliction I felt.
I changed my mind—his apology isn't going to be appreciated and I won't acknowledge his efforts anymore.
I'm done fighting with you, Eren Yeager.
He walked out my house, shutting the door behind him.
I loved watching him walk away from me because I can't stand his presence, but I hated seeing him leave. My feelings were definitely the most contradicting thing I've ever experienced and I didn't know what to think anymore.
Did I do the right thing or did I go too far?
Thinking back at what Jean, Historia, and even Mikasa and Armin said—I did do the right thing. He's always like this and I just need to distance myself from him as much as possible. I decided to just go ahead and sleep on the couch tonight, I was too incensed and enervated to even crawl up the stairs.
Hopefully my headache won't be as painful in the morning. I laid down on the couch and stared at my ceiling, in uttermost anger.
Foolish of me to think he of all people was a kind person.