The feast was beginning to end, so Legolas offered to escort Raina back to her quarters. Well, he was more forced to escort her back to her quarters. Raina had told everyone that she was going to sleep for the night, and Cadhron had nudged and pushed him forward so that he almost fell into her.
"I'll go with you." Legolas said, shooting daggers at his friend who merely smirked. Raina nodded, glad to spend more time with Legolas, particularly because they would be alone.
As the couple walked back to Raina's sleeping quarters, Cahdron sighed in fondness, them excused him and his sister from the fellowship's company.
"Its time we be returning home."
They were left with many pleasant 'Goodnights' from the fellowship and Pendor, and Cadhron led himself and Gwil home. She had been quiet all evenening, which was exceptionally unusual for her. He couldn't quite place it, but realised it might be due to 'that time of the month' and decided to not ask Gwil about it.
The party and music still thrummed in the distance, the purple, green and blue latners flickering, sending their hues up into the night sky. Cadhron clambered up the steps a few at a time, while Gwil stepped over them, one a time. She hadn't stopped thinking about Raina since she left, and every time she tried to forget her and Legolas, that image of the way he looked at her when she arrived never left her mind.
"Coming Gwil?" Cadhron called from the door. She had stopped at the landing, consumed by her thoughts, her hand digging into the wooden railing
"Sorry Cad." She followed him inside.
As soon as the door shut Lostariel pounced on them with questions. Lindethiel followed behind with a limping Haeronwen.
"What was everyone wearing? Was Luthriel there? What about Legolas? What did he wear?"
"Was Raina there?" Lindethial added
"And the hobbits?!" Haeronwen grinned excitedly
"Alright alright." Cadhron took off his boots "let me sit down first. Then you can ask me all the questions you want."
He removed his jacket and checked the time. It was just gone midnight.
"By the way, I thought I told you to go to bed at nine o'clock Haeronwen."
She looked away guiltily.
"Hmm.."
Gwil removed her shoes and placed the kettle on the fire in the kitchen. She needed some tea to calm her nerves after today. Whilst she stood waiting for the water to boil, their conversation in the other room floated past her ears.
"So did you meet Raina?" Lostariel asked from the couch.
"Yes."
"What's she like?"
"I don't know her well, but she seems nice."
"Told you!" Haeronwen cried at her. Gwil could tell she was sticking out her tongue. Then Lostariel would role her eyes.
She was correct.
Lostariel did in fact role her eyes and leaned her head on her twin's shoulder lazily.
"Can we meet her?" Haeronwen asked
"You already have, remember? You fell in the river" Lostariel teased.
Haeronwen scowled at her older sister. She could be mean if she wanted to.
Lindethiel rolled her eyes discreetly at Lostariel, and a smile crept onto Haeronwen's face.
"I'm sure you will meet her eventually, Haeronwen." Cadhron wraps an arm around her, "She's quite close to Legolas."
"Close?" Lostariel blinked, a smirk forming on her face. Cadhron gulped. His sister could be quite a gossip if she wanted to. Before he could even blink all of Lorien would know of Legolas' feelings for Raina.
"They are good friends." He lied. Well, it wasn't exactly a lie. They were good friends, it's just he could tell they wanted to be something more.
'Heh' Gwil sneered.
Legolas and Raina were anything but friends. She poured hot water into her cup, and added some tea, followed by sugar and milk, then picked up the cup and waited for the tea to cool, using the heat to warm her hands.
All her life she had never expected anyone to show any interest in her, and she had never wanted to. But as soon as Legolas returned, she felt hope, felt the bursting excitement one got at the prospect of being loved unconditionally. She had often wondered where Legolas had ended up after he stopped visiting Lorien in the summers. His father said he was gowing up, and that it was time for him to learn the ways of his kingdom, and Gwil understood. Or at least pretended to. She knew that when he was a child he had had a crush on her, or at least her mother had said that to her with a knowing smirk before she had passed. She remembered being disgusted with the idea of love. But that, it seemed was a thing of past. She had changed, and now wanted it more than anything. Legolas had also grown up, and grown out of his crush. She was nothing more than the sister of his best-friend, and that's all she ever would be.
☆☆☆☆☆
Legolas had led Raina up to her door. The walk backwards had been filled with awkward silence, both of them what to say hit not able to say it. She turned around and smiled at him, her hands shaking with anxiety.
"W-well, I guess it's time to say goodnight."
"Yes." He nodded, getting lost in her eyes. Raina's eyes flickered downward, and she pretended to be interested in the woodwork.
Legolas watched her carefully, trying to work up the courage to tell her. He had waited for this moment for so long, too long, but his knees seemed to tremor and his throat run dry. Raina turned around and her hadn grasped the door handle. She pushed it a little.
"Raina."
"Yes?" She looked back at him softly, the light from the lanterns casting shadows on her dark eyes.
"I..." Legolas began. He was going to tell her. He had to. "I...I hope you have a good sleep."
He closed his eyes in disappointment.
"You too." She smiles, stepping inside. "Goodnight."
The door shut with a click and Legolas hung his head, feeling the weight of his failure.
☆☆☆☆
I've been in Lorien with the Fellowship for two weeks now, and it's a welcome retreat from our quest. Although the death of Gandalf still looms over all of us, I can tell tell hobbits are more at peace then they were whilst we were travelling.
Even when I'm sitting reading in a tree's branches, I can hear their laughter as they train together. Sam was getting particularly good with his frying pan.
Pippin, Merry and I often spent entire days exploring the fair country, its borders of unimaginable length and beauty. It felt good to feel like a family again, like we were part of something greater than just a group of soldiers.
I suppose here in Lorien we all felt a certain sense of safety. Sauron belonged to the world, and we belonged to the elves, and as long as we were inside this place, evil wouldn't touch us. It was like Lorien was the parent who seemed to shield us from the unyielding nightmare.
In addition to good times, I had also started my training with Haldir. It was hard, harder then anything in my life I had ever experienced.
Each day I finished, I would collapse into a pool of sweat on the training ground ring - a hard floor made of sand and surrounded by wooden fence. Haldir would always loom over me, giving me time to catch my breath before telling me everything I did wrong, which wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear at the end of a long session. Still, I swallowed my pride if only it would cause me to get better.
Aragorn and Legolas had only taught me how to fight utilising weapons, but Haldir taught me how to use my body against the enemy. We started off with (in his words) light training - things like running, jumping, weight lifting etc. Over time he started introducing more components belonging to martial arts such as punches, kicks, even a flip. Haldir taught me that I had to never lose eye contact with my opponent, because it was in their eyes I would be able to see what they would do. That itself made little sense to me, but I was in no position to comment. Haldir and I had been sparring for an hour, and I just wanted to go and eat some lunch. It seemed unfair to me that the hobbitd never went through any of this, but then I realised they wouldn't exactly be much of a challenge for Haldir, when one considers their height.
I lazily punched Haldir, and he grabbed my hand, twisted my arm and kicked underneath my legs. I fell to the floor with a loud thud, glad my glasses were in the Palace.
"You're pulling your punches. Do not let your fatigue get in the way of your effort." Haldir replied promptly. I still sat on the ground, panting, the perspiration dripping down my face.
"You're dismissed." Haldir walked off without another word, leaving me heaving on the floor. After I caught my breath I stood, retied my hair and headed up the stairs to the palace flet, my knees aching with every movement.
I wanted to fall into the bathtub as soon as I closed the door, but since Maerwen, Edel and Arnos, were there (it seemed the last two had become my attending maids as well). I took off my clothes gracefully, and climbed into the warm bath. Maerwen washed my hair while the other two prepped my clothes. After I got dressed I was led to the same place the fellowship and I eat with Galadriel and the other dignitaries, the Hall of Light.
This is a room adjacent to the throne room, with hanging lights of silver and platinum, and warm fires in distant corners. The table had already been set when I arrived, full of fruit and wine - though Gimli seemed to be enjoying the presence of some bacon on his plate. There was a quiet hum of chatter among my friends as I joined them, taking my place besides Gimli. Legolas sat across from me and greeted me with a smile.
I blushed a little, before turning away and sighing softly. I had to keep reminding myself of who I was, and what he was, and how we would never be together. How he would choose someone different. Someone special, someone like Gwil.
I had noticed that they had started spending more time together, and that was normal, they were friends after all, but it bothered me immensely. Mainly because compared to her, I had virtually no chance with him. And the more she spent time with him the more likely it was that they grew closer and we would never be together. Those seated rose for Galadriel and Celeborn once the entered, and commenced our breakfast. The fellowship and I ate with little chatter until, Aragorn sipped some wine and remarked.
"We will be leaving within the next fortnight."
Pippin's fork dropped onto his plate and there were murmers of disbelief among the hobbits
"What?"
"Fortnight?"
"May I ask why Aragorn?" I sipped a small cup of water that had been left for me. He nodded.
"The longer we remain, the longer we put the people of Lórien and Middle Earth at risk. It is time to continue the quest. It is what Gandalf would have wanted."
At the mentioned of his name, the group fell to silence. My finger traced the rim of my goblet. Throughout our time here, none of us had ever uttered his name, and here Aragorn was, resurfacing old feelings of the past.
"I am sorry." He replied, continuing to finish his meal of fruit and eggs.
I suppose we had all fallen in love with Lorien a bit too much to ever dream of leaving it. Jackson's visual of it was too bright for my liking, so artifical, but here, the lights were not as harsh as they seemed in the films, and softer, and you could hear the rivers rush through the forest, the wind flow through the trees, and if you listened carefully, it was almost like it was speaking to you. The hobbits and I had had many happy days there.
I had not seen Frodo this relaxed since before we left Imaldris. The bags under his eyes disappeared and although he looked burdened, he remained rested and full of zeal. At times I saw Gimli and Legolas taking walks throughout tthe trees, Legolas reciting tales of the forest and his homelands. I was glad to see the two of them getting on.
But I would not lie, I was less glad to see Gwil and Legolas getting on. He told me that Cadhron was a member of the Royal Court, and, Pendor was a guard in the army, so that left Gwil alone with her sisters all day. I didn't mind the times Legolas and I spent with Gwil and the rest of her family, along with the hobbits, but I couldn't stand it when it was just us three. I felt like the third wheel, like I was intruding on a moment and a relationship destined to be theirs. When I realised the days in which both the twins and Haeronwen would be taking lessons, I made sure to take myself back into Galadriel's garden, and sat reading by the statue I stared at when I first met her. There not many people disturbed me, and I immersed myself in a history and culture I could only dream of fully understanding, using the books that Celeborn had offered me.
I was afraid for a moment too aproach him initially, since Galadriel had suggested I go to him after we had had a brief discussion about the Tale of Penlinelon. She had offered to let me borrow Celeborn's books from his personal library, and I profusely denied. She seemed to insist upon it, sensing my hidden timidity. I had been summoned to Celeborn the next day, and he introduced me to his collection before I chose a book on the history of Middle Earth. I was trying to become more accustomed to my surroundings, because I knew that my journey had only just begun. I would go to many places and meet many men; foes or friends before my time was up. Well. My job had been completed. All I had to do was get the Ring to Mordor, just like I promised Gandalf. Help Frodo get the Ring to Mordor.
☆☆☆☆
Legolas was restless. Gwil sensed it. Cahdron and Pendor sensed it. The twins as well. The only one that was too young to, was Haerownen but she knew from the others' gazes at him something was up too. Poor Legolas had missed his chance to tell Raina how he felt, and now his heart ached with yearning for her. It seemed that that moment had only made his love grow ten times fonder.
The time they spent totogether he treasured more than anything. She was kind with Gwil's younger siblings, and seemed without fault. The twins and Haeronwen all seemed to adore her. They had begun to call upon the family regularly since the beginning of their stay, and it brought Legolas great joy to see them all together. His family. And hopefully his future love, Raina.
Whenever he looked at her his pupils dilated in their blue storm and a deep sigh left his chest, as if all his worries had been quelled. Gwil knew this, she had watched him often during his visits with Raina. One day they had all had a picnic in a vast and open field within the forest, near where they grew crops for harvest, and Legolas could not keep his eyes off her, and the way her hair seemed to fall past her shoulders, and her eyes used to spark and glow.
Cadhron had come up with ways for him to confess his love to her, but every opportunity was missed, and he had concluded that Legolas would tell her in his own time. Whenever that would be. Legolas only hoped that it would be soon.
Legolas was walking with Gwil down the steps of her flet, thinking pensively. Gwil had always been a good friend, twice as wise as him. Maybe she could offer some advice on the matter.
"You are quiet, is everything alright?" Gwil asked shyly, carefully concealing her blush at being this close to Legolas. Her question sliced through his thoughts.
"Oh? Yes, yes I am well I just-" He sighed "Gwil, if you, if you had feelings for another, someone completely unexpected,what would you say to them?"
Gwil's eyes widened a little with interest. Maybe all the time she had spent with him had worked, and he now proffered her over Raina. She knew this was only a dream but she prayed with all her might it was true.
"I would just.." She paused, thinking about how she would tell Legolas "Take them away somewhere private and just speak my heart. Offer all of myself to them and hope they do they same.Why?"
Legolas smiled a little.
"Thank you. I hope that will work with Raina"
Gwil's heart sunk a little more in her chest
"Me too." She flashed him a pained smile.
No matter how hard she tried to ignore theese feelings for Legolas, they rose and fell in her chest day after day. If only she had been the one found by the fellowship and journeying with them, instead of Raina. Legolas wouldn't be able to resist her then. She scowled a little, her fist tightening. She couldn't understand what Legolas saw in her. After all she was human. Legolas smiled at her again.
"She's such a kind soul. I am fortunate to know her."
Gwil frowned a little
"How well do you know her?"
"What do you mean?" He furrowed his brows in confusion
"I am only saying that don't you think that the timing is a little weird?"
Legolas waited for her to explain
"That the day after Frodo arrived in Rivendell she should come?"
Legolas shrugged
"Coincidence."
Gwil kept going, eager to root suspicion in him. She knew it was wrong, but couldn't care less.
"I mean how much do you really know about her anyway?" She trailed off, watching Legolas think carefully.
"Enough to trust her." He stopped, replying straightforwardly "She has given me no reason to doubt her."
Gwil continued to voice her opinion.
"She came to Rivendell, she saved Frodo's life twice, She is kind and thoughtful-
"Yes, what are you getting at?" He asked her, a little agitated.
"I only say that it is a bit suspicious. Has she ever shown any incline towards Frodo, and the Ring?"
Legolas paused, considering her words. She was right. Raina and Frodo were inseparable, but he couldnt believe what she was suggesting. He knew it wasn't true...
"Yes but-
Gwil's look silenced him.
"I'd keep a close eye on your heart Legolas, do not let it get too close to her."
Legolas feared it was already too late. He couldn't imagine being with anyone else apart from her. And he would never dream to think Raina was capable of such malice, of such evilness as Gwil was suggesting. The thought made him angry.
"She is an honourable friend." He replied curly "Hopefully one day you will be able to see that."
Legolas left her, signalling the end of their conversation and Gwil felt more hollow then before
☆☆☆☆☆☆
After Aragorn announced that we would be leaving, the days seemed to rush like wildfire. My muscles had grown tighter, and my stamina had improved, making the fights between Haldir and I a lot more interesting. I was pleased to say that he didn't go weak on me because I was a girl, but perhaps even went harder. Maybe he knew that I would have to proof myself to a bunch of arrogant sexist oafs. Sometimes the Guard was training around us as well, the clanking of metal and steel as they fought drowing out Haldir's careful instructions, but I proffered them fighting to them watching me fall.
I could hear their rackerous conversations as they drew bow against arrow, and sword agasint shield as I practiced carefully with Haldir. He aimed a kick at me and I ducked, dropping down to the floor and sweeping his legs under him. Being Haldir he managed to turn that into a roll and stood up to face me, barely breaking a sweat. I lunged for him, and he grabbed my shoulders, kneeeing me in the stomach. I groaned
"Did you have you have to do that so hard?" I asked him.
He didn't reply.
I wrenched out of his grip, and grabbed his arm, twisting it behind his back. Haldir's leg kicked at me knee bone and I dropped rolling to the ground. I wasn't going down this easy this time. We paced around the enclosure watching each other carefully. Suddenly, Haldir aimed a fist toward me so I side-stepped, punched his side and swept his feet from under him again so he fell on his chin. I heard him groan on the cold floor and rushed over to him.
"Oh my gosh are you OK?" I asked
He coughed up sand.
"That was very good." He replied "Someone get me a healer."
It had been a few days since then, and I had already begun preparing to leave, for we were to continue our quest the day after tomorrow. I could see the hobbits were dismayed, even Gimli to an extent, his crush on Galadriel growing more each day. But, such was the sacrifice of being part of the fellowship of the ring. It meaned we he have to give up everything, even our own happiness
I was willing to give up my happiness for Legolas.
I hadn't seen Gwil and him together for a while, but I knew they were star crossed lovers. Anthony and Cleopatra. Romeo and Juliet, Elizabeth Bennet and Mr D'Arcy. They werre perfect opposites - two poles attracted.
He was vocal, she quiet. He wad brave, she loyal. He had blonde hair and blue eyes, and she had black and Hazel. They were a match made in heaven
I was nothing to him.
Yet here I sat, in front of a gilded mirror, being dressed as if I was someone. My hair was curled in beach waves and rested bove my shoulders with a crown of golden flowers. I wore a white dresses, the sleeves having holes to place my thumbs through. Maerwen stood me up, and began adjusting the corset, while I stood fretting about my appearance. Edel allowed a strand of my hair to sit just above my forehead.
"Aww, you look stunning Raina." She quipped, leaning against my dresser "I wish I was going." She sighed "So many handsome ellon will be there."
Arnos elbowed her.
"What?"
I laughed. She and Pendor were made for each other.
I waited for Maerwen to finish tying the silk on the corset, then moved towards the dresser mirror.
I looked different.
Of course I was still me, but it was like I had been placed under some enchantment. Like I was in someone else's body, wearing this dress that seemed to hug perfectly and this hair that seemed thick and luscious. Before now I had never held any hope for my looks but now I could maybe say I supposed I was decent enough. I smiled softly, looking down at my feet, sighing. Even though I had dolled up, I knew that I would never compare to Gwil or any of the other elves here. I was simply me.
Raina
But for a moment I wanted to hold onto the illusion that I could.
☆☆☆☆☆
The parting feast for the fellowship had begun a while ago, Legolas and the other members sparing Raina, arriving after the dignitaries. He had worn a silver tunic, and his hair had been rebreaided and his boots polished. This wasn't a particularly special event but he knew it was polite to dress like one.
The music hummed softly in the background of the chatter in the Hall of Light, and the fellowship dispersed almost immediately. Legolas made his way to his friends, Cadhron and Pendor. Haldir was there too, sipping wine and looking annoyed with Pendor's invading laughter
Legolas grimaced amusedly. Cadhron spotted his friend, and used it as a conversation changer.
"Legolas? How do you fare?" He asked him in Elvish.
"I am well." Legolas replied, before turning to Haldir with an amused look.
"I did not expect to see you here."
Haldir sipped his frink pensively "Neither did I. Galadriel insisted. So I had to come. I am not overly fond of celebrations."
"You don't say?" Pendor mumbled
Haldir threw him a look and he snickered.
The floor was starting to be filled with dancing couples. Legolas watches as they swayed in time to the music, wishing he could hold Raina as tight as the ellons were holding their partners, and rest his head next to hers.
He sighed 'One day, Legolas. One day. It draws near. It has to.'
Across the room, Legolas watched Gwil, standing awkwardly and staring at the couples. He felt sorry for her
"Excuse me."
Legolas crossed the room hurriedly. He was a little nervous, after all they hadn't spoken since last week, when she had vocied her concern with Raina's character. It had been too awkward since then, giving each other painful glances in the Palace's corridors. He had been too hard on her, she was probably only trying to look after him. That's all she ever did.
Legolad wanted to start over again.
He walked up to her with a polite smile
"Hello."
Gwil smiled back. She wanted to make amends as well. Instead of bringing Legolas closer to her, she had pushed him away.
"Legolas, Legolas I am sorry."
She bowed her head, her hazel eyes flickering with sadness. He smiled.
"You are forgiven. I am sorry for snapping at you too."
She smiled, and then her eye caught the couples dancing on the floor. Legolas held out a hand. He could oblige her until Raina came.
"Care to join me?"
Gwil took his hand softly, her eyes full of yearning and adoration. Legolas placed a hand on her waist, leading her to the centre of the dancing couples. Gwil couldn't stop staring at him, at his azure eyes. She felt naked standing next to him, like his eyes wete glazing over her with judgement, but she knew he only thought of her fondly. Perhaps a little more than that.
Across the room Pendor watched carefully, a smirk forming on his face. Gwil and Legolas certainly looked the pair...
Gwil didn't feel like she was anyone special normally. But next to him, she felt as though she were the Queen of Middle Earth, her black hair trailing behind her gracefully. The music flitteted past her ears, and she hoped they would play forever, if only she could state into Legolas eyes ever the longer. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Galadriel and Lord Celeborn enter, meaning Raina would come soon, and she knew she would have little time to tell him the truth about how she really feels.
She had been thinking about confessing ever since they had their little spat by her flet, and she knew that now was probably the only time she would ever get, or allow herself. She had to tell him, before Raina came and ruined it.
"Legolas I...." She trailed off, fiddling with his tunic nervously and he smiled, letting her know he was listening
"Yes?"
"Legolas I love you." He paused, a little surprised, then laughed "I love you too." He says, misunderstanding.
Gwil shook her head as they continued to dance perfectly in time with the music. She could see him looking for her, Raina.
"No, no, not like that." He looked down at her curiously. Gwil took a risk and placed a hand on his cheek. "I love you Legolas."
She had to finish, get everything out before he turned away or stopped her
"Before you came back I never offered myself hope of falling in love but you're like a sun rise. Bright and warm and new and beautiful." She took a deep breath "And I have never met anyone like you before."
"Gwil." He took a step back, stopping their dance
"Let me finish." She moved closer to him, placing her hands on his chest, not caring if her brother could see her. She needed needed to tell him how she felt "You are the most wonderful soul I have ever met."
She stroked a hair on his head. "You are kind, loving, brave and courageous."
"And even though you may not see it now, we're made for each other."
"Gwil."
She didn't want to let him go. She had him in her grasp and it was almost like with every word his love for her was slipping away.
"I love you." She murmered, before crashing her lips into his.
Legolas was frozen. He couldn't move, couldn't think. All he could see was Gwil'a angelic face, eyelids closed lips pressed against his passionately. He felt hot, and uncomfortable, and Raina flashed in his mind. He knew he didn't love Gwil, he ardently loved Raina, and yet here Gwil was, displaying more emotion from her than he had ever seen in his entire life.
Legolas heard the cheers and claps surround them as more and more people took notice of them kissing. They were pleased, wondering if the Prince had found his bride at last.
If only they knew how wrong they were.
Finally, Gwil lifted her lips off his, and he managed to breath again. Elves, high and low, young and old stood before him, faces etched with laughter and happiness. They all crowded round him. Gwil had a hand on his elbow.
"Do you love me too?" She asked
He couldn't answer. His eyes were full of confusion of shock. He looked around the room, searching for an escape from the now blinding lights, and the thundering voices, and right when he spotted the gilded doors that led to their residence halls, he noticed someone else, watching sadly on from behind the crowd. He could see the tears pool in her eyes.
Raina.
~*~*~*~
A/N
BA BA BAAAA!
I destroyed the ship 😭 sorry. But its going to ultimately work in their favour.... hopefully!🤪 See you guys next week with an update.
- ellie