"Okay, everybody!" says Piper. "I just checked on Hazel, and she should be ready to go soon! Remember: nobody tells her about the subs."
Yeah, Annabeth is at a wedding, which isn't exactly her first choice of activities, and she knows for a fact that something awful is going to happen, and she's probably going to have to fight something today, which also isn't something she enjoys doing regularly, but at least there are more subs.
It's a light at the end of the tunnel, or rather, the aisle. Annabeth struggles to keep her mouth from watering at the mere thought of another Italian sub with salami and tomatoes and just the right amount of mayonnaise and-
"Annabeth!" Piper snaps. "I said lose the jacket. Save it for your own wedding."
"Jesus Christ." Annabeth drapes her leather jacket over a chair. The air conditioning on full blast gives her goosebumps.
Piper reminds everyone how they're supposed to enter the venue. Apparently, there's a correct walking pace that's supposed to keep this thing aesthetically pleasing.
You know what's aesthetically pleasing? Annabeth's super sexy leather jacket with wings etched on the back. She's pretty sure it belonged to some biker or a gang member or something, but that just makes it even cooler.
"So, instead of Annabeth and Nico going first, Leo and Rachel are going to go. You know. 'Cause somebody missed rehearsal," Piper dictates.
Nico crosses his arms. "I wanted to go with Rachel."
"You could have said that yesterday, Nico. You're going with Annabeth," says Piper.
"Yeah, ouch, Nico. What the hell?" Annabeth asks.
Nico tightens his ponytail. "If I go with Rachel, I can still go first. Isn't that what Hazel wants?"
Piper groans. "Fine, go with Rachel, but now the aesthetics are all thrown off!"
"It's like, two minutes!" Nico shouts.
Percy fills a Dixie cup with some water from the blue dispenser in the corner. "When Thalia said to make the most out of our futures, I don't think this is what she meant."
Annabeth covers her mouth. No way is she going to give Percy the satisfaction of seeing her smirk.
Piper purses her lips. "Okay, I think I've got it. Nico, you go first with Rachel, then I'll go with Leo, and Annabeth can go with Percy."
Percy spits out his water. "What?"
"What's wrong, Percy? Don't wanna walk down the aisle with me?" Annabeth asks innocently.
Percy scoffs. "If I remember correctly, you're the one who didn't want to walk down the aisle with me."
Rachel slaps her thigh. "Roasted!"
"Shut up, Dare," says Annabeth.
"I will if this means I don't have to be on Leo's team for Minute to Win It games!" Rachel shouts.
"Oh, I could kick your ass at Minute to Win It games, even with Percy dragging me down!"
"Roasted!" Leo echoes Rachel.
"Great!" says Piper. "Congrats, Annabeth! You just smart-assed your way into being the new maid of honor!"
"Wait, what?" Annabeth asks. "No, Piper, Hazel chose you for that."
"Actually, she wanted Reyna," Piper retorts. "So if you really think about it, you're like the third-string maid of honor."
"Oh, another roast!" Rachel shouts.
Leo cackles.
"Okay, positions everyone!" calls Piper.
Nico groans as he gets out of his seat. Annabeth thought he'd be more excited to see his half-sister get married, but it's also a comfort knowing that she's not the only one who's totally not into this.
And now she's the maid of honor? What's she supposed to do? Straighten out Hazel's dress or something? Hold the bridal bouquet?
Rachel and Nico stand side by side against the door.
Leo waves out the window. "Hi, Jay-Jay! Look how handsome he is!" He continues to make faces at Jason.
"Annabeth?" Piper asks.
"Yeah?"
"We need Hazel."
"And?" That sure doesn't sound like Annabeth's problem.
"You're the maid of honor. You have to go find her."
"Fuck you, McLean."
Annabeth rushes to the kitchen. If she were getting cold feet before a wedding, where would she be? Oh, she'd be lying on the kitchen floor in the fetal position eating those delicious-
"Subs?" Hazel shrieks. The refrigerator's massive door is open and Hazel is staring at its contents in disbelief.
Annabeth smiles. "Isn't it great?"
"Annabeth?" Hazel asks. "What are you doing here?"
"Piper said the maid of honor has to get the bride, so uh, here I am?"
"Oh my gods," Hazel says. "This is just like that episode of Glee where Sue shows up to Emma and Will's wedding wearing the same dress as Emma! Oh, gods, this is horrible!"
Annabeth snaps her bra strap against her collarbone. This can't be real. "I can't decide if I'm offended or concerned about your taste in television..."
Hazel chuckles a little. "Nico made me watch it. It was horrible."
"Woah," Annabeth says. "Will made me watch it."
"We gotta get them back together," Hazel says.
Annabeth verbally agrees, only because this is Hazel's special day and she should be making Hazel happy right now. That's what maids of honor do, right?
She doesn't feel very honorable, so she at the very least closes the fridge.
"C'mon, Hazel. Forget about the subs. I'll even take the leftovers if you want," says Annabeth. "But you gotta, like, get married. I mean, only if you want to. It's easier than getting a divorce later-"
"Okay! Stop talking!" shouts Hazel. "Let's go before you freak me out even more!"
"Well, that's not the spirit, but it's a spirit!"
"I said stop talking!" Hazel says in a sing-song voice.
Annabeth falls back into line next to Percy.
"Holy shit, you did it!" Piper exclaims.
Annabeth rolls her eyes.
The music starts playing outside. Wedding music or death march? It's a grey area at this point.
Annabeth wipes her sweaty palms against her dress and tries to take a deep breath. Her exhale comes out a little shakier than normal. Fuck, she sounds like she's trying not to cry.
"Forgetting something?" Percy asks, holding up a purple and white bouquet, identical to the arrangements that Piper and Rachel are holding.
Annabeth grunts and takes the bouquet. Is it hot in here? It's definitely hot in here. That's weird though because the air conditioning is deafeningly loud.
"Hey, you good?" Percy whispers. "You're strangling those poor flowers."
Annabeth swallows. "Yeah, all good here."
Percy whistles along to an orchestral arrangement of "Hooked on a Feeling", and taps his toe.
"Can you not?" Annabeth scolds. "Everything's kind of pissing me off right now."
"When are you not pissed off?" Percy teases. "Besides, last I checked, you weren't the one getting married."
Annabeth wants to ask if it feels weird, being like, the nicest guy ever and still not being married, but that would be admitting that Percy's nice, so she keeps her mouth shut.
Did she really almost invite him into her room sober last night? She's an idiot!
Nico slides the doors open and leads Rachel out and down the aisle at an agonizingly slow pace.
Piper throws a thumbs-up to Hazel and pushes Leo out the door. Someone should've checked his pockets because now he's throwing purple petals all over the place.
"We'll go when they pass my mom," Percy says.
Annabeth squints slightly at the sun. Is it getting... darker?
There's a shape in the distance. She studies it as it grows. It's large and entirely mishappen, like a beast with three heads or something.
Oh, wait. That's exactly what it is.
"Fuck me in the ass!" Annabeth shouts.
The music stops playing, and heads turn towards Annabeth and Percy.
"What is it?" Percy says through gritted teeth. He's not amused.
Annabeth pulls her sword out from underneath her dress. "Dog. Cerberus."
"Oh!" Percy uncaps the pen in his pocket, which grows into Riptide. It's a nice accessory with his suit.
She kind of feels bad, but the footage of her and Percy running down the aisle with weapons drawn is probably going to look funny in the wedding tape. Besides, who watches those down the line anyway?
The beast gets closer and the others start to notice. Calypso and Will rush Jason and Sally back into the banquet hall.
"Everybody get inside!" Piper yells, her voice laced with charmspeak so strong, Annabeth almost turns around and runs for cover.
"Is there a plan?" Percy asks.
"Yeah," says Annabeth. "Find a weak spot and don't die."
Percy slashes at the Cerberus's legs.
Annabeth isn't sure what his aim is there, but she takes the opportunity to baseball slide underneath and goes for the underbelly.
A swing and a miss.
And a face full of fur. The massive dog just laid down on top of her.
"Shit," she shouts through the fur.
"Guess who's here!"
Annabeth grabs Leo's hand and he pulls her out.
"Oh, gross." Leo snatches his hand back. "I'm gonna... uh, set something on fire."
"Annabeth!" Hazel shouts. "Is this what you and Reyna weren't telling me about?"
Annabeth backs away slowly. "We're not gonna fight about this now, are we?"
"Later," Hazel says. She summons some sharp diamonds from the ground underneath Cerberus, forcing it to its feet again. "That's for ruining my wedding!" Then she turns to Annabeth again. "Frank and Nico are getting everyone inside and then they'll be over."
"Think you can get me up on top of that crazy thing?" Annabeth asks.
Hazel cocks an eyebrow, but she knows better than to question a plan, especially one coming from Annabeth.
"Woohoo!" shouts Reyna from somewhere in the distance.
"Where's Percy?" Hazel asks. "There's a hydrant he could probably blow."
On cue, Percy starts running towards Annabeth and Hazel. "Watch out!" he yells.
The monster comes running after him.
Percy must have read Annabeth's mind or something, because when they near the fire hydrant Hazel mentioned, it explodes in a geyser-esque fashion, flinging Annabeth up into the air.
She lands flat on the not-quite-Cerberus's back, receiving another face full of fur.
When she manages her way to the center neck, she raises her sword with both hands on the hilt, ready for the final blow.
But it notices her before the hit, and violently shakes her off, sending her halfway across New Rome.
Well, halfway across the New Rome Resort. Green turf scratches her neck. What even is this place? It's familiar and strange all at the same time.
Then she rolls over. Holy shit, her ankle hurts. She should've known better than to wear heels.
Then she sees that stupid Dutch windmill.
Then she sees him.