" NAMI!?" Lycy's eyes widen as she spat me using her phone's flashlight
"Pahiram pambayad sa tricycle" walang ganang tugon ko
Naguguluhan man ay mabilis syang pumasok ulit at kumuha ng pera sa loob.
"Care to atleast explain?" Nanunuya nyang tanong matapos kaming papasukin
"Dito muna ako" i announced then started walking to her room
Naguguluhang sumunod sya sa akin. I sat at her bed and looked at her. The girl that i brought with me also followed.
"You can sleep here for now, then tomorrow go back at home. I'm sure hahanapin ka ni manang" sabi ko sa babaeng kasama ko tsaka tinapik ang kama ni Lycy
"Wow" lycy said mockingly "parang kama natin ah" sabi pa nya na ipinagsawalang bahala ko nalang
Sumunod naman ang babae sa sinabi ko at nagtungo sa kama pero nanatili lang syang nakaupo sa gilid no'n kagaya ng pwesto ko.
"Pinalayas ka ba?" She asked and eyed me. Sumandal sya sa pintuan at umaktong nag iisip.
"Imposible namang palayasin ka, nag iisang anak ka e" sagot nya sa sarili
"Bat ka naglayas?"
"May nangyari ba?"
"Nag away ba kayo ng parents mo?"
She asked continuously but I never answered any. She looks so frustrated while looking at me, a deep breath leave her body as she walk towards the cabinet. She get a piece of pajama and a jacket, she then enter the bathroom to wear those. Nang makalabas ay inirapan nya ako tsaka naglakad palabas ng kwarto.
"Dito ka lang ha, pupunta ako kay Rox at mababaliw ako pag ikaw lang kausap ko buong magdamag" iritadong habilin nya bago tuluyang makalabas
Minutes passed as i noticed the girl beside was intently watching me. I glance at her then she immediately change her focus.
"What's your name?" Walang ganang tanong ko
"Maria Guinevere po..." She answered politely
I nod then lazily let my self fall at the bed. Walang buhay akong nakatitig sa kisame at pilit iniinda ang kung ano anong nasa isipan ko.
"...pero magui po ang tawag saki'n ng mga kakilala ko" alangang dagdag nya na nagpalingon saki'n
Ibinaling ko sa kanya ang aking ulo at inobserbahan sya. Masyadong mabait at inosente ang aura nya, parang hindi gagawa ng kahit anong masamang bagay. Malayong malayo sa aura na meron ako.
She smile awkwardly while I'm eyeing her. I nod again and just let my eyes close. Hanggang doon lang ang kaya kong gawing interaksyon sa ngayon.
Malalim at mabibigat na paghinga ko ang tanging pumupuno sa napakatahimik na kwarto ni Lycy.
"Bakit daw?" Nagising ako ng may kung sinong nagsalita sa paligid ko
"Aba malay ko" boses iyon ni Lycy
I open my eyes while my forehead wrinkled. Ang iingay, reklamo ko sa aking isip. It was Rox and Lycy talking.
"Nami anong nangyari?" Tanong agad ni Rox ng makitang bumangon ako
"Huy" ulit nya ng hindi ako magsalita
"Okay ka lang ba?" Tanong ulit nya tsaka naupo sa tabi ko
I nod.
"You doesn't look fine to me" Lycy said as she get the chair beside the table and place it in front of her bed. She then sat there facing me and rox.
Nanatili ang mga tingin nilang dalawa saki'n.
"What's your name?" Lycy asked Magui when she didn't received any answer from me
"Magui po.."
"What happened Magui?" tanong ni Lycy
Mabilis ang naging paglingon ni Magui sa akin dahil don.
She seems scared to talk and asking for my permission, I didn't bother to react.
"Hindi ko po alam..." Sagot ni Magui
"Come on, pati ba naman ikaw. I'm sure may alam ka" desperadong sambit ni Lycy
"Stop it" i said as i noticed Magui was about to cry. Napakaiyakin naman nito, patuya ko sa isip ko. Tinaasan lang ng boses ay namumula na at iiyak na. I shake my head.
"Blair was pregnant" their eyes widen
"Nathan is the father"
The two of them dropped their mouth as they heard what i just said. Mix of emotions was visible in their eyes but disbelief is the most prominent one. Silence echoed for some moment. Even I already know it, a part of my heart still break as those words come out of my mouth. May kung anong kumikirot pa rin. May bahagi pa rin saki'n na di kayang matanggap ang katotohanan na yon.
"W-What?" Rox finally recovered
Lycy's eyes watered as she look at me with so much pity.
"That's not even your fault! Kulang pa yon kung tutuusin!" Namumulang sigaw ni Lycy matapos kong ikwento lahat
"Tangina nila" she cursed then tears fall from her eyes
"Nami..." Awang awang tawag nya sakin bago lumapit at niyakap ako
I started crying as i feel their arms around me. It was such a relief to know that I got people who understands where I'm coming from. I will always gonna be thankful for these people.
"how dare he do that!" napakaraming mura ang ginawa ni Rox na nagpatawa sa aming tatlo
Ilang oras kaming nakahiga at nakatitig lang sa kisame, hindi pa rin makapaniwala sa kung anong nanagyari. Paulit ulit nilang binabalikan lahat ng pangyayari habang nasa ganoong pwesto kami.
"Sabi na e, may kakaiba talaga dyan sa pinsan mo" bulalas ni Rox
"At 'yang boyfriend mo? Napakakapal ng muka, ang kapal kapal!" Dagdag naman ni Lycy
"Hindi ko na alam" wala sa sariling nasabi ko nalang
Lumipas pa ang ilang oras at nagsimula ng kumalat ang liwanag sa kwarto ni Lycy. Buong gabi ay wala silang ginawa kundi subukang isipin kung saan at paano nagsimula ang relasyon nila Nathan pero maging ako ay walang kaide-ideya.
Magui returned home after an hour and i tell her to tell to manang that i will stay here for awhile. I'm sure she's the only one who is worried about me. Lahat sila sa bahay ay galit sa akin,para saan pa na ipaalam ko sa kanila. But i know manang will tell it to my Mom.
"Tumawag ka agad pag may problema ka" si Lycy habang nag aayos ng kanyang buhok
"Ayoko na sanang pumasok tutal malapit naman na ang christmas break pero may mababa kasi akong subject kaya kailangan kong habulin 'yon. I'm so sorry Nami" she said
I smiled and shake my head.
"Ano ka ba, okay lang. Besides i don't want you to stop your world just because mine was not revolving" I explained and tap her shoulder
"Uuwi agad ako promise, wag kang gagawa ng kagagahan ha" pagbabanta nya
I know what she meant by that, she's thinking that i will commit suicide. But I'm really not thinking about it. I was sad and depressed but not to the point where i will kill myself. I still got my sanity.
It's been three days since i stayed at Lycy's place. I never heard anything from home since then. Isang beses lang pumunta dito si Manang at iyon ay nung ipinadala ko sa kanya ang ilang mga damit ko at yung atm card. It wasn't cut off yet, atleast kahit paaano may awa naman sakin ang pamilya ko. Matapos ang unang araw ko dito ay agad akong nagwithdraw para kahit papano ay makabawi naman sa mga gastos ni Lycy.
Manang says Blair was finally at home and tita Fiona was also there. Kaya siguro hinayaan na rin nila akong nandito kay Lycy. The fact that my parents choose Blair to be at home rather than me, made my heart tear a little but I just shrugged the pain cause i also want to be here, i don't want to go home anymore after everything that happened. I sighed.
Manang also informed me that they were planning about the wedding of Blair and Nathan. Probably at January since Blaire will turn 18 at that month.
That news broke me.
I remember crying so hard while drinking beer directly from the bottle. Lycy caught me at that state, severely wasted and drunk while cursing so loud and repeatedly saying that I want to die. Lycy and Rox started to keep an eye on me more due to that event. Iniisip nila na pag may nangyari ulit ay baka magpakamatay ako.
Nasan ka?
Natigil ang pag iisip ko sa mga nangyari nitong nakaraan ng mabasa ang mensaheng kapapasok lang sa aking telepono.
My heart skipped a beat as i double check who it was. Nathan.
I stare at it, unable to think of an answer. Biglang gulo ang utak ko sa napakaraming tanong na mabilis na pumasok sa isip ko matapos ang isang mensahe na galing sa kanya.
mixture of anger and longing was confusing me. I was angry on the audacity he has to still text me after what he did. And a feeling of longing for him, i guess after everything a part of me still want him.
My stomach twirl as i keep staring at his forbidden message. It was wrong. If they are planning on their wedding he shouldn't be texting me anymore! I cursed with the thought of them marrying.
He used to promise me a wedding.
I tear up a little but immediately wipe it. Ayoko ng umiyak ng dahil sa kanya, nakakapagod na rin.
Nathan
Na kanino ka sa mga kabigan mo?
Another text from him. I hold on my phone tightly and let some curse off.
"Ano bang pakialam mo?" Tanong ko sa hangin tsaka mabilis na ipinatong ang cellphone sa sofa at nagtungo sa kusina
I opened the fridge then grab some beer and stormed to terrace. Sinalubong ako ng init ng papalubog na araw. I slightly close my eyes while walking towards its edge, as i reach that spot I sat there and just feel the atmosphere.
Hapon na pala.
I used to love this hour i said to myself and sighed deeply.
The golden scenery of field while Nathan's hand intertwined to mine is my best memory of this hour. We used to watch the sun goes down together, talking about how we're gonna settle down someday or how we're going to get married.
I laugh in pain as i wipe my cheeks knowing that none of those will ever happen.
"Sinungaling ka" i said out of nowhere then pour a beer on my mouth.
I look up at orange-colored sky and let the heat of it dry up the tears that continusly falling from my eyes. Wondering on how our almost perfect love story turned into this.
"Umiinom ka na naman"
Napukaw ang atensyon ko ng magsalita ang kadarating lang na si Lycy, sa tabi nya ay si Rox na bahagyang umiling iling sa akin.
I pout and stand up to face them.
"Konti lang naman" balik ko
"Tch" rox hissed " tara do'n may dala akong pagkain" aya nya tsaka kinuha ang bote ng alak sa kamay ko
Nang makarating sa kusina ay itinapon nya sa lababo ang natitira pang laman tsaka ipinatong ang bote sa gilid ng lababo.
We immediately consumed the takoyaki while talking about how their days go.
"Nga pala, how are you planning to stay here Nami?" Lycy asked curiously
Bumaling ako sa kanya tsaka pabirong ngumuso.
"Ayaw mo na ba ako dito?" I act like a sad cat
"Gaga, hindi" she slap my arm a little then laugh " Wala kasi ako dito sa 23 up to January 2," dagdag nya tsaka sumeryoso ang muka
"Tutuloy ka pa rin? Di ba nando'n yung Tito mo?" Tanong ni Rox na ikinakunot ng noo ko
"Saan?" I asked
"Sa mga Tita ko" she answered briefly
"Sabi ni mama e" sagot nya kay Rox, matapos yon ay nagpatuloy na sya sa pagkain
Si rox ay parang tutol doon ngunit di nalang nagsalita.
"Yung susi na nasa'yo, iyo na muna yan Nami. Para pwede kang pumunta dito pag wala ako lalo na at nasa bahay nyo rin yung pinsan mo. Alam kong maiirita ka lang sa inyo"
I smile at Lycy and mouthed 'thank you.'
Days passed in a blink of an eye, school days were done and christmas break was already here. Sa mga nakalipas na araw ay natutunan ko na kahit papaano na indahin ang sakit, nakatulong doon na di ko na nakikita kahit sino sa kanilang dalawa.
But on those time that I'm alone pain still throb like a fresh new wound. I just learned how to not cry when it's bleeding but the pain was still the same as it was the night that Nathan admit everything.
Nathan didn't message me anymore after the last time. Bihira na rin akong magcellphone para makaiwas sa kaniya.
"Nami ano na! Ang tagal mo namang maligo" sinundan iyon ng malalakas na katok sa pinto
"Oo eto na!" Sigaw ko pabalik
My two friends were smiling from ear to ear as we reach our destination. Tagaytay.
"Ang lamiiig" si Rox, tsaka ipinasok ang kamay sa bulsa
Dumeretso kami sa receptionist at mabilis na kinuha ang susi sa aming kwarto.
We booked this days ago. Napag usapan namin na mag out of town para bago man lang kami maghiwa hiwalay sa holiday ay may bonding kami kahit papaano.
We drunk as if there's no tomorrow and bid our goodbyes in the most dramatic way we can, as if we're not gonna see each other again.
Si Rox ay aalis na rin agad pagka uwi namin kaya sinusulit na namin ang araw na to.
The night was filled with laughs and cursing at the people who hurt each of us.
It was indeed a great night to forget.