Lois POV:
I'm laying on Clark still trying to process everything that just happened a few hours ago. I usually would talk to Clark about this, but he's currently sleeping I mean it is 2 AM and I'm not going to wake him up for a conversation that we can have tomorrow. Especially since he hasn't been sleeping well these past few days which is what usually happens when he worries about me.
Honestly I don't want to believe this, I wanted the past 24 hours to have been a dream. Which I hate myself for wanting that everything that just happened wasn't real because that's like saying I wish this baby that's growing inside me wasn't a thing and I know that's not what I want. I mean at first when we found out earlier I was initially in shock and couldn't think straight it felt like my whole world was crashing down and everything was falling on top of me but now I'm kind of hopeful I guess is the right word for what I'm feeling.
Now since I've had a little time to process it a bit on my own I'm not sure how I feel about this whole situation I know I want the baby and Clark does too that's not really the things I'm worried about. The thing I'm terrified about is the thought that this is going to end up like last time. I know I shouldn't think like that ,believe me I try my hardest not to but ever since Natalie- I mean it takes over my life it's like I can't forget.
It's all I can think about some days on others it affects me other ways. Like I could be writing something for work and all of the sudden that day, the day we lost her, every single agonizing second of that day just replays in my mind over and over like a record player playing the exact same thing constantly non-stop.
I can't really talk about it to anyone either except Clark of course what am I supposed to go to a therapist and say "oh hi my husbands Superman and I just had a miscarriage". It's really hard sometimes especially since we couldn't even tell the boys about it until earlier this year because we didn't like to think about it let alone talk about it much.
I decide I should try and get some sleep to have at least some energy tomorrow since Clark made us an appointment to go to the DOD to see my O.B. just to find out how far along I am and if the baby's ok to ease our anxiety. Especially since we want to tell the boys as soon as possible given that Jordan's anxiety has been off the charts since I've been sick so telling them will make it easier on everyone.
It was hard finding an O.B. last time because only a select group of people know that Clark is Superman and the doctor needs to know how to understand kryptonian and human genes essentially. Turns out one of the doctors at the DOD was an O.B. before she got hired to work there I also happened to know and trust her. Clark did as well so she does all our baby related appointments. Honestly I'm nervous I don't know what to expect it's not like this situation is familiar to either of us.
Clark POV:
I wake up before Lois does so I get up as quietly as possible to make sure I don't wake her so she can sleep a bit more. I don't think she slept much last night she kept tossing and turning trying to get comfortable. I could tell she was trying to process everything when she does that shes not going to sleep until she figures out exactly how she feels. So I decided to let her sleep in a bit before her appointment.
I throw on some plain dark blue jeans and a burgundy short sleeve shirt before going back into our room to wake her up. I sit on the bed and carefully hug her from behind she hugs my arm and rolls over so she's facing me. She pulls me closer and hugs me as tight as she can, I look at her eyes, still closed shielding her eyes from the brightness of our room and kiss her forehead softly.
She puts her head back on my chest while I play with her hair. "We got to get up babe you have to get ready the appointment remember you got to get up" I remind her. She groans faintly while stretching and trying to wake up. She slowly gets up and puts on a purple shirt and some black leggings with some black sneakers. "I forgot how cute you are" she says groggily "well you are the most beautiful girl in the world and I should know I have been everywhere" I laugh. I love when she's tired and says random cute things. I take her hand in mine then we left for her appointment.
Lois POV:
We are on our way to the DOD which is around 30 minutes away and its been quiet really quiet so far. I don't really know what to say specifically but the silence is killing me. My stomach hurts a bit but at least my anti-nausea meds are working for the most part. Eventually I got tired of the silence "Tell me how you're feeling about this I mean do you even want another kid? I know we decided not to after last time but I want to know what you think" I blurted out.
Clark glances at me looking like I caught him off guard. "Babe of course I would love another kid. I mean I'm not upset about it at all actually we always did want another kid I'm just upset about how it affects you and I cant do anything. I'm just trying to figure out how to make you feel good about it and I want to know how you feel about it. As long as I have you and the boys my life is complete why not add another little jellybean to the mix" he reassured me.
I smile and sigh that's a relief to hear from him he always knows what to say. "I'm surprisingly not as scared of the thought that this could be a repeat of last time as I was at first. I mean I'm still terrified of everything that could happen. On the other hand though I'm also kind of excited which I never thought I would say but I'm trying to be positive, look forward to the good stuff that happens" I replied.
Clark POV:
When we finally get to the DOD Lois and I go around to a side door instead of the main entrance to avoid attention. Mostly attention from the people who would let Sam know we were here. Which we didn't want him to know quite yet. We walk in "Hey guys we will be in this room today" our O.B. Dr. Hughes noted as we walked in. Lois is grasping my arm almost like she's hugging it. I felt bad last time she saw Dr. Hughes was the day she had the miscarriage and I can tell she's anxious.
We walk into the room the doctor pointed to it was sort of small, had 3/4 of the wall a cream color with an accent wall which was painted a light sky blue. There was a dark grey chair in the right corner where people usually sit while the examination table was 3-4 feet away from it. I assumed Lois wanted me to stand next to her and hold her hand which I didn't mind at all if it eased her mind a bit. We walk over to the exam table and Lois sits on it anxiously while we wait for Dr. Hughes to come in.
I pull her closer so we are practically hugging, she looks up at me and somewhat smiles at me. I kiss the top of her head while playing with her hair which usually makes her calm down and feel a bit better. She looks back up at me staring at me lovingly, I put my hand on her face and she kisses me slowly her soft lips on mine. She glances back at me "I love you and you better know it" she declares, I grin "I know I love you too" I said. Her eyes sparkle in the fluorescent lighting at that moment every doubt in my mind just vanished all I could think about was how I love this woman with all my heart.
Dr. Hughes walks in "it's good to see you guys it's been a long time". Lois smiles slightly I can tell this is bringing back some memories for her. Dr. Hughes picks up on her anxiety about being there and gets on with the appointment while asking all these questions. After they were done she reclines the exam table and asks Lois to lift her shirt up.
Lois POV:
I move my shirt up slightly so Dr. Hughes can access my stomach area. "This is going to be a little cold" she says as she squirts this blue gel on my abdomen. I look at Clark while grabbing his hand he smiles warmly. "You ready" she asked I nodded and she carefully put the ultrasound wand on my stomach. I just kept looking at Clark staring at me "it looks like you are about 8 weeks along which is consistent with your symptoms. The baby is about the size of a raspberry and good news the heartbeats strong, which is normal this early since the kryptonian half is stronger of course. Everything looks great guys the baby is healthy." She informs us then hands me a sonogram picture I take in a deep breath it's such a surreal moment for me it's like this whole thing just made me realize this is happening everything just became so real. "Okay we are done here so feel free to leave whenever and I'd like to see you back here in about four weeks to check in" Dr. Hughes says.
I sigh relieved that everything's alright I glance back at Clark he has this big smile on his face. "What are you thinking about?" I asked confused. "You know when that kryptonite affected Jordan and I, and I had this massive headache because there was a thumping noise non-stop" he questioned. I nod remembering he told me about it a couple times "well I'm pretty sure it wasn't just my hearing acting up I mean it absolutely was part of it since I couldn't control what I heard after being exposed to the synthetic kryptonite. My hearing was only an issue within close range though so the noise would have had to be close by. I was around you the whole week and I just realized the thumping noise that was driving me crazy was the baby." I laughed "kiddo's already keeping you awake how nice of them" I joke.
Clark smiles and takes my hand as we leave when we get to the car I remember something. "The boys I forgot about them they should be getting out of school in a few hours" I pointed out. Clark kissed me "they are meeting us at Lana and Kyle's after school. I didn't want you to worry about it and they invited us for dinner so I figured the boys could go home with Sarah. Especially since we could tell Lana, Kyle, and Sarah with the boys" he mentioned. "And don't worry I have an idea". I laugh Clark always knows how to ease my mind and I love him for that. I'm glad we can tell Lana and Kyle tonight as well since we are so close with them. Another bonus of telling them together is they can actually know the reason if the boys go there when I have appointments.
A/N: HELLO MY FAV HOOMANS! I hope you enjoyed that chapter it's a long one I know but I tried to put in a little more emotion and I really wanted to nail their inner thoughts. thanks for reading (also if there's another arrowverse show u like lemme know or any show really I watch a lot and I enjoy hearing about what my readers like) :) <3 ALSO I WILL NOT BE POSTING NEXT WEEK JUST A HEADS UP