Hell, Pentagram City, 6 Months Later...
[A man with a worn, bloodied hoodie and a cracked gas mask around his neck sits against a building with a tin can next to him, it looks like Asher. His face looks dirtied and a bit bruised, his eyes are now a fiery red. In his current condition, he looks like some sort of beggar. Or a hobo. Whichever one's cleaner.]
Asher: (Inner Head) I've been in Hell for what I believe to be six months now. I've learned some important things in my time down here... The first thing I learned was-
[Asher then gets kicked in the face by some Random Demon and falls over to the side lifelessly.]
Random Demon: I guess beggars can be choosers! *Laughs*
[The Random Demon walks away leaving Asher lying on the ground.]
Asher: (Inner Head) That insult doesn't even make any sense...
[Asher sits up and brushes his hoodie off, he rubs his head where he was kicked.]
Asher: (Inner Head) As I was saying... The first thing I learned was that Demons down here don't take too kindly to beggars of any sort. Actually, I don't think Demons take too kindly to anyone... Everyone hates everyone for any reason... Well, it's Hell so I honestly don't know what I was expecting. Another thing I learned was that there's an actual economy or something like an economy down here... Which doesn't make much sense either since I'm pretty sure that this place works like an Anarchist wet dream because I haven't seen a single cop or law take effect since I got here. Which personally... I could care less about the cops.
[Asher stands up and picks up the tin can beside him. He shakes it around and grabs the few coins that lie inside it. He puts the coins into his pants pocket, tosses the tin can aside, and begins walking down the sidewalk.]
Asher: (Inner Head) The last thing I learned was... Shit... I forgot. Anyways, I live in a forest and am still barely alive... So to sum it all up, I'm having the time of my life.
[Asher continues walking down the sidewalk silently minding his own business.]
*BOOM*
[Then behind him, a building for absolutely zero reasons explodes. Everyone in the vicinity immediately begins running in the opposite direction of the explosion. Asher stops walking and calmly turns around to look at the burning building behind him. He reaches into his hoodie pocket and takes out a cigarette box, it looks empty. He then shakes the cigarette box allowing an upside-down cigarette to reveal itself. He takes the cigarette and places it in his mouth, then walks over to the burning building completely unfazed. He lowers his head allowing the raging fire to light his cigarette. He takes a puff and blows the smoke out adding it to the smoke already being created by the fire.]
Asher: (Inner Head) Oh, yea that's what it was. There are these things called Turf Wars, it's when two Demons fight each other over some territory in the city. They're pretty fucking dangerous to be around, almost got hit in the crossfire of one last week. So whenever you're near one you really need to focus on-
[Asher immediately turns around with a smile on his face and then runs as fast as he can in the opposite direction of the fire.]
Asher: -getting the fuck outta there! *Crazed Laughter*
[He runs down the block and takes a quick right down into another street, running past more Demons as he continues to run. He runs for a minute until he makes a left into an alleyway to hide.]
Asher: *Chukleing* Hehe... Turf Wars can get pretty fucking violent pretty fucking quickly... Too much chaos for me...
(Silence)
Asher: Why am I saying this out loud?
[Asher takes a puff of his cigarette and blows the smoke into the sky above him. He kicks some dirt and looks out of the alleyway towards the city street. His stomach grows, Asher pats it and sighs.]
Asher: *Sigh* Hungry again... Fuck. I don't have enough money to buy any food either.
[Asher reaches into his pocket and takes out the few coins he took out of the tin can.]
Asher: Shame the denizens of Hell aren't very generous...
[He places the coins back into his pocket and looks up towards the pentagram sky.]
Asher: I need some money... Now...
[Asher looks around the alleyway, nothing interesting, just a lot of garbage.]
Asher: Nothing worth jack...
[He looks around a bit more and notices a fire escape down the alleyway. He looks up at the fire escape and sees that it leads to the top of the building.]
Asher: Hmm...
[Asher takes one last puff of his cigarette before tossing it to the ground and stomping out the cinders. He walks over to the fire escape and brushes his hand against it, it's all rusted and old.]
Asher: Tch, no care at all... This thing has to be breaking at least three fire safety regulations. Better not kill me when I try to climb it.
[He grabs onto the fire escape and begins to climb up it. As he climbs up the third floor he can't help but notice the dim light coming out of a window, he walks up to it and peeks inside. Inside of the room with the dim light, there seems to be some sort of magic show going on between two Demons. An involuntary one... One of the Demons is wearing a magician's outfit and has a blindfold over his eyes, he's also holding a fair amount of knives in his hands. The other Demon is tied up and gagged against a spinning board, the board is spinning at an alarming rate. The magician Demon tosses one of the knives in the air and catches it. He then pulls his arm back with a smile as he gets ready to throw the knives.]
Asher: Ok, I've seen enough to know where this is going...
[Asher walks past the window and back up the fire escape. He continues to climb the building until he reaches the roof, he climbs up and looks around the top of the building.]
Asher: Hmm... Maybe a-
*Blood-Curdling Scream*
[Asher's eyes go wide as he stands there silently. He turns and looks back towards the fire escape, exactly where the scream came from. He looks back forward and smiles.]
Asher: Heh... He was aiming for the balls, wasn't he?
[Asher walks forward towards the other side of the building and leans against the edge, he looks around at the other rooftops of apartments or storefronts. Nothing interesting.]
Asher: C'mon... C'mon Hell give me something...
???: (Distant) So is it enough?
Asher: Che cosa?
[Asher looks down off the building towards the alleyway below. Two Demons are leaning against the wall smoking and talking to each other about something. Asher leans his head over the edge to eavesdrop on their conversation.]
Asher: Well, well, well... What do we have here?
Demon 2: Should be enough.
Demon 1: But is it worth it? I mean... It's a shit load of money just for some bats and knives. Wouldn't you want to use them spears instead?
Demon 2: No. What kind of dumb question is that? Do you wanna tell the boss that you think it's better to run around with spears instead of a bat?
Demon 1: No, not really.
Demon 2: Exactly! Which is why we gotta get the best shit for kicking the most shit!
Demon 1: What the fuck does that mean?
Demon 2: I don't know I'm high, drunk, and turned on right now.
Asher: What the fuck?
Demon 1: So what do we do? Just wait here for the guy to show up then pay him with this?
[The First Demon kicks a duffle bag on the ground between them.]
Demon 2: Yep, just make sure you keep an eye on the bag. There has to be about five thousand smackeroos in there.
Asher: Really now?
Demon 1: Yea, yea, I got it.
[Asher stands up and rubs his chin.]
Asher: Five thousand eh? That could work... But how the hell do I get it without getting seen by clueless and horny... Asher looks around the roof of the building, there's a bunch of empty bottles, wooden crates, some wooden planks, and an anvil. Yes. An anvil. Asher looks towards the anvil curiously.]
Asher: Why is there an anvil up here? Never mind, I'm in Pentagram City, the "Anything Can Happen!" city in hell.
[Asher looks at the wooden planks on the roof and back at the anvil.]
Asher: Hmmm...
Demon 1: (Distant) So when is he going to get here? I'm bored out of my fucking mind...
[The two Demons below continue their conversation while Asher grabs two wooden planks and places them up against the edge of the building.]
Demon 2: (Distant) I don't fucking know!
[Asher walks over to the anvil and stands behind it, he begins to push it towards the wooden planks he has set up.]
Demon 1: (Distant) Didn't you say that he'd be here soon?
Demon 2: (Distant) No, I said he might be here soon.
Demon 1: (Distant) No you didn't.
Demon 2: (Distant) Yes I did.
Demon 1: (Distant) No you didn't.
Demon 2: (Distant) Yes I did.
Demon 1: (Distant) No you didn't!
Demon 2: (Distant) Yes I did!
Asher: Ugh... Shut up...
[Asher pushes the anvil over to the wooden planks and pushes it up the planks onto the edge of the building top.]
Demon 1: No you fucking didn't!
Demon 2: Yes I fucking did!
Demon 1: Oh yea!?!? If you really did-
[The First Demon walks out to the middle of the alleyway and spreads his arms out.]
Demon 1: -then let me get smitten where I stand!!!
Demon 2: Oh yeah? By who? God?
Demon 1: Nah! Better! Some drunk dumbass with an anvil!
[Asher stares at the First Demon with his foot leaning against the anvil as it hangs over the edge of the rooftop. He looks around the rooftop confused then back down at the two Demons.]
Asher: Oh, God, that's just... Ehh, I'll take it...
[Asher pushes the anvil off the roof of the building with his foot. The anvil falls as you would expect. Fast. It falls down the building right on top of the First Demon, crushing him completely. The Second Demon looks at his friend who just got crushed, completely surprised.]
Demon 2: Woah...
[The Demon glares at the anvil. He then strokes his chin.]
Demon 2: Hmmm... Ok... So if I did really tell him, then let a pallet of gold bars land beside me!
[The Demon looks up towards the red sky expecting something to fall next to him. In a way he is correct, something is falling towards him. Just not what he was expecting.]
Demon 2: That's not gold, that's a drunk hobo with a wooden plank. (Pause) Oh shit that's a-
[It's Asher, and he just hit the Demon in the head with one of the wooden planks he found on the rooftop. The plank breaks in half as the Demon then hits his head on the brick wall of the building he was standing next to knocking him out while Asher hits the ground with a thud.]
Asher: Ow...
[The Demon's body slowly slid down the side of the wall and onto some trash. Asher stands up and stretches backwards cracking his back. He lets out a pained groan.]
Asher: *Pained Groan* Uhh... There's a joke here about me falling into Hell like I did the first time but I just can't figure it out...
[Asher throws the broken wooden plank aside and looks at the two Demons he just crushed and assaulted. The one he crushed with the anvil isn't moving at all, his body looks pretty mangled and crushed. He looks at the other one he hit with a wooden plank who also isn't moving, he doesn't look dead just knocked out cold.]
Asher: Hmm, that deals with them. Now for my spoils...
[Asher eyes the duffle bag the two Demons were carelessly guarding, he walks over to it and kneels down next to it.]
Asher: C'mon now down don't make me look like a twit...
[Asher unzips the bag and opens it up to look at the contents. It looks like the two Demons weren't lying. The duffle bags full of money, large amounts in large bills.]
Asher: *Whistles* Oh yea! That's the dough!
[He takes out a stack of the cash and flips through it. He sniffs it for some reason.]
Asher: MMM! Doesn't smell sour either. A clean good catch...
[He puts the money back into the duffel bag and zips it back up.]
Asher: Been a while since I've seen this much cash...
[Asher looks around the alleyway like he's being watched. He grabs the duffle bag and slings it around his back.]
Asher: Hmm... This is too dangerous to keep on me. I should make a stash... Or blow it all on booze. (Pause) Nah, I should stash it.
[Asher looks around the alleyway, he seems to be looking for a place to hide the bag of cash.]
Asher: I can't stash it in an alleyway. Actually, I don't think I can stash it anywhere in this damned city...
[Asher walks deeper down the alleyway looking around for anywhere he could hide the bag. After sticking to the always and avoiding getting seen by passersbys, he manages to wander down an alleyway and into a dead end.]
Asher: Oh goodie, a dead end. This would be the perfect place for me to get ambushed.
[Asher stands there silently for a second. Like he's waiting for something to happen... He turns around and looks back to where he came from.]
Asher: Nobody? Really?
[...]
Asher: Ok.
[Asher walks down into the dead end and looks around. There are no doors, no lights, no trash, no boxes, no nothing. Just a metal drain grate against the wall. He looks around the dead-end a bit nervous.]
Asher: Ehhhh... Don't like this...
[Asher looks around the dead-end a bit more before letting out an annoyed groan.]
Asher: *Groan* Guess I should look for another place to stash my shit...
[He trunks around, but notices something on the wall as he turns.]
Asher: The hell?
[There's something written on the brick wall of the building next to him with some sort of paint or liquid. It reads "Tune in" in big, obvious letters. It's odd how Asher never noticed it when he first entered the dead end.]
Asher: "Tune in". "Tune in"? "Tune in" to what? *Sigh* Probably just wack gibberish.
[Asher looks at the writing a bit more completely confused by it. He looks down at the ground beneath it.]
Asher: Tune in. Tune in... Huh?
[It's at this point he notices the metal drain grate beneath the writing. He walks over to the grate and kneels down in front of it so he can look down into it. It's incredibly dark down there, Asher reaches into his pocket and takes out a lighter. He flips it open and lights it, attempting to create a bit of a visual down in the drain. It doesn't show much, the drain looks pretty shallow as some dirty water flows down it. There's also a wet, moldy wooden plank lying at the bottom.]
Asher: Hmmmm... Maybe...
[Asher closes the lighter and places it next to him, he then grabs hold of the metal grate and pulls on it as hard as he can. After a bit of struggling he rips the grate off of the ground and places it to the side with a grunt.]
Asher: *Grunt* Easier than blowing a hole in a concrete wall.
[He grabs his lighter and lights it again before placing it into the drain and sticking his head down there.]
Asher: Hello? Anybody home?
[He speaks sarcastically into the drain. There is no response.]
Asher: Finally, a drain with no creepy goblin demon lurking in it.
[He looks as far as he can down the drain, it's pretty dark but nothing noticeable is visible. Except for a hole on the side of the drain. A decent-sized hole.]
Asher: Could I...
[Asher grabs the duffle bag and shoves it down the drain and into the hole on the side of the drain. The bag fits comfortably into the hole, but is very visible from the outside. Asher then grabs the wet wooden plank at the bottom of the drain and props it up against the drain wall. Believe it or not, it hides the bag incredibly well. Asher takes his head out of the drain and looks at the wooden plank, he seems impressed by his shotty handiwork. He then grabs the metal grate and places it back where it was before. He stands up and stomps on the grate to ensure that it's back into place. He dusts off his hands and cracks his neck with his fists.]
Asher: That should do.
[He grabs a cigarette from his pocket and lights it with the lighter. He places the lighter away and smokes the cigarette.]
Asher: Now... Here's hoping I don't forget about it.
[Asher turns towards the dead-end and blows some smoke into the air.]
Asher: Hmmm... *Chuckles* "Tune in". Tune in to what? Me getting ambushed?
???: HEY!
[Asher takes a deep breath and slowly exhales smoke out his nose.]
Asher: *Deep Inhale & Exhale* (In Head) Should have just stayed quiet, huh?
[Asher turns around to look down the alleyway he came from, down the alleyway stand five Demons all with mischievous smiles. The two Demons on the left and right are all of normal size holding a bat or pipe while the one in the middle is bigger than the others. The big one has a cloth wrapped around his mouth and scowls at Asher instead of smiling.]
???: Well, well, well... Looky what we have here!
[Someone speaks, but none of the Demon's mouths move. Then a hand pops up onto the shoulder of the bigger Demon, a smaller Demon clubs up and peaks over his shoulders.]
Smaller Demon: If it isn't... Uhhh.... Ash-Head! Yea! If it isn't Ash-Head!
Asher: Well... If it isn't my favorite drug dealers from skid row...
Asher: (Inner Head) Jockey and Bouncer... Jockey's the small one who's all bark... Bouncer's the big guy with no bark and all of Jockeys bite... These two own the territory I'm in and everything in it... They also don't like me too much solely because I exist... Also because I torched one of their drug stockpiles but I think that's unrelated.
Jockey: Do you remember what I said I'd do to you if I saw you back here again?
Asher: You said if you caught me here again you were gonna dismember me. That correct?
Jockey: Uhhh... Yea. YEA! We're gonna dismember ya!
Asher: Not to insult your intelligence Jockey, but... Do you even know what the word "dismember" means?
Jockey: Uhhh... It means we poke sticks in ya!
Asher: Cold...
Jockey: It uhh... Uhh... We burn ya?
Asher: Colder...
Jockey: I think it involves... Stabbing?
Asher: *Blows Out Smoke* Hotter...
Jockey: Cutting?
Asher: Hot!
Jockey: We're gonna cut ya all over!
Asher: Red Hot! C'mon, you're almost there!
Jockey: We're gonna cut all ya limbs off!
Asher: BINGO! Con-grats! I'd give you a cookie, but sadly I do not have one.
Jockey: It is a shame!
[Asher stares coldly at the five Demons. Jokey's gang gives Asher sinister glares and looks like they'll pounce at any second or whenever Jockey says so. Asher takes another puff of his cigarette and cracks his neck. He then looks directly at Jockey.]
Asher: So... Are you gonna continue looking me up? Or are you going to come through with your promise?
Jockey: Oh I'm going to come through with it alright!
Demon Lackey 1: Ha. Come.
[Bouncer backhands one of the Demons next to him in the face, sending him straight to the ground.]
Jockey: Enough screwing around! Let's make out!
Demon Lackey 2: He means "Make do with our promise" boss.
Jockey: Exactly!
[The Demon that was knocked down stands up and shakes its head a bit. The five Demons, not including Jockey because he's on Bouncer's shoulders, begin to slowly advance on Asher with weapons in hand. He takes some steps back to keep in an attempt to keep his distance, he backs up until he hits the back of the dead end. He looks around and weighs his options, there's not many but there is a bottle at his feet and a cigarette in his mouth.]
Asher: Hey, uh... You boys wanna see a magic trick?
Demon Lackey 3: Oh I like magic tricks!
[Bouncer punches the Demon in the head causing him to spin around comically before falling to the ground. Jockey puts his hands up signaling for everyone to stop.]
Jockey: Wait... I kinda wanna see the trick...
[Asher smirks a tiny bit.]
Asher: Alright! So...
[Asher takes the cigarette out of his mouth.]
Asher: Eye's on the cigarette gents.
[With his left hand Asher circles the cigarette in front of them, all the Demons seem fixated on it. For some unknown reason... Asher slowly leans down and grabs the liquor bottle on the ground next to him. He tosses the bottle up and grabs it by the neck.]
Asher: Watch closely now...
[Asher while still circling the cigarette starts drinking out of the bottle, he downs the whole thing before smashing it against the ground next to him. He stops spinning the cigarette in front of himself and holds it in front of his face. He leans back and takes a deep breath, he then spits the alcohol he kept in his mouth out towards the cigarette. The alcohol seems to light up almost immediately and explodes in a ball of fire. The Demons all turn away to shield themselves from the bright fiery explosion, except for Bouncer who just narrows his eyes. The ball of fire quickly disappeared after going off the Demon's look towards where Asher is. He's gone, it looks like he ran away after his "trick".]
Jockey: FUCKING BASTARD!!! FIND HIM!!!
[The Demons all turn around and start running in different directions to look for Asher. Jockey stays on Bouncer's back as he just turns around.]
Jockey: What the hell are you doing?!?!
Bouncer: *Grunt*
[Bouncer grunts and walks down the alleyway a bit, he walks over to a dumpster, lifts it open, and looks at the person who is sitting inside. It's Asher by the way. Asher looks up towards Bouncer with a blank expression on his face. He then narrows his eyes as Bouncer and Jockey look at him.]
Asher: You didn't close your peepers, did ya?
Bouncer: *Grunt*
[Bouncer grunts and nods. Asher puts a charming smile on his face.]
Asher: And I'm in trouble aren't I?
[Bouncer grabs Asher's face.]
Jockey: Yep.
[Bouncer pulls Asher out of the dumpster and throws him out of the alleyway onto the sidewalk. Asher quickly stands up and looks down the alleyway where he was thrown. Bouncer is currently power walking over to him as Jockey peaks over his shoulder and smiles.]
Asher: Fuck.
[Asher immediately starts running down the street as Bouncer slowly pursues him.]
About a Minute Later...
[Asher stands in an alleyway leaning against the wall, he's breathing heavily for air.]
Asher: He-he... Am I out of breath? Fuck I need to get back in shape... *Cough* *Cough* Fuck's sake...
[Asher's stomach growls.]
Asher: And find something to eat... *Sigh*
[He lets out a sigh and wipes his brow.]
???: Heads up!
[Asher immediately ducks narrowly dodging a baseball bat aimed for his head. He turns around and sees one of Jockey's Demon Lackies right behind him. Asher reaches out and grabs the bat, he forces it back and hits the Demon in the stomach with the butt end of it. The Demon loses his grip on the bat allowing Asher to take it, he then swings forward and hits the Demon right across the jaw sending him to the ground.]
Asher: A little tip. Don't announce when you're gonna attack someone from behind.
[Asher throws the bat aside.]
???: Think fast!
[Asher ducks down again and dodges a fist aimed right for him. He turns around and sees another one of Jockey's Lackies. He grabs the Demon's arm and pulls him over himself, along with punching him in the stomach. He throws the Demon over himself towards the other Demon he knocked out. He slams the Demon against the ground as it lets out a pained groan. Asher stands up and dusts himself off.]
Asher: I thought fast.
???: AHHHHHHH!
Asher: Oh for the love of God-
[Asher turns back down the alley and sees two more of Jockey's Lackies both running towards him holding a pipe and bat. He ducks down yet again dodging both of their attacks. He stands back up, turns around, grabs both of the Demon's heads, and slams them together sending the two to the ground.]
Asher: You guys are really just pushovers now, aren't ya?
[Asher looks at the incapacitated Demons lying on the ground. He shakes his head.]
Asher: Is everyone just going to announce themselves when they attack me?
???: Yep.
Asher: Hm?
[Asher quickly turns around only to see Bouncer's fist inches from his face. It's too late for Asher to react or dodge the incoming attack, so he takes the blow and gets punched right in the nose. A cracking sound can be heard as Bouncer's fist collides with Asher's face. He falls onto the ground and tumbles over to his side. Jockey's voice can be heard coming over from Bouncer's shoulder.]
Jockey: I told ya I'd get ya!
Asher: Yeah well ya know...
[Asher flips over to look at Bouncer and Jockey with a smile on his face.]
Asher: You're a bitch.
[Bouncer kicks Asher in the stomach as hard as he can, sending him flying into a group of trash cans. Jockey chuckles as Bouncer walks over to him, the rest of Jockey's Lackies begin to stand up after getting beaten by Asher. They all look pissed and ready to fight again. Asher is able to get on his knees and let out a cough.]
Asher: *Cough* Ohhh! And a bastard too!
[One of Jockey's Lackies tries to hit Asher in the face with a bat but misses due to Asher leaning a bit to the left. However, doing so leads him right into the attack of another one of Jockey's Lackies. He gets hit in the face and sent back into the trash cans. Bouncer walks over to him and grabs his leg, tossing him into the middle of the alleyway. The entire gang circles around Asher leaving no room for escape.]
Jockey: Alright boys! You know what to do!
Asher: (In Head) This is going to hurt just as much as it did last time...
[Jockeys Lackeys all raise their weapons and begin to beat on Asher while Jockey throws stuff he finds in the alley at him, Bouncer just silently watches. The next five minutes can only be described as Jockey's lackey beating and kicking Asher to the point where it doesn't look like he's moving. Throughout the entire process, Asher doesn't scream nor yell, he only lets out grunts of pain as he's beaten. After minutes which felt like hours for Asher, Jockey stops throwing stuff and speaks.]
Jockey: Alright, alright... I think he's learned his lesson...
[Jockeys Lackies slowly stop beating Asher and look at him. He's bruised all over with some cuts on his chest and face, his right eye is bruised and closed while his left one is barely open. Jockey jumps down from Bouncer and kicks Asher in the stomach just to be sure. He then climbs back up onto Bouncer's back.]
Jockey: Ya know Ash-head, you should really just kill yourself. Because if I ever see you anywhere in this city again, I'm gonna make you wish you did.
[Jockey's gang all turn around and begin to walk away, leaving Asher lying on the ground with some blood dripping from his wounds. He lies there motionless, he might be unconscious, dead, or faking it. .]
Asher: (Inner Head) Yep. This is pretty much my life as of six months ago... Sad... Honestly, I think it could be way worse. I could be lying beaten up in an alleyway with a bruised eye and a broken nose. Oh, wait. I am... Never mind, it is worse... *Sigh* Fuck, my life in Hell isn't going as well as I thought it would...
[He then turns onto his stomach and attempts to lift himself up with both his hands.]
Asher: (Inner Head) Then again it is Hell. But through all the shit I've been through-
[Asher lets out a rough cough sending blood onto the ground in front of him. His eyes then close as he falls back to the ground and lies there completely lifeless.]
Asher: (Inner Head) I take it like a champ.
Asher: (Inner Head) What the hell was in that bottle anyways? Alcohol doesn't catch on fire like that... Actually, it tasted like oil or gasoline... Who the fuck just leaves a bottle full of gasoline in an alleyw- Oh so that's where I left that bottle... Huh... Should have turned it into a Molotov and tossed it at Jockey's face... Eh, you win some you lose some...