"darling, darling wake up sweetheart", holland spoke pampering my face with kisses
"mm, why?", I mumbled
"because we have to leave in an hour and I don't want to be late"
"calm down honey, it's takes twenty minutes to get there", I pulled her down to snuggle with me
"I know but you need to eat and get dressed. I made pancakes", she smiled
"you made me pancakes?", I beamed
"no I made the baby pancakes", holland kissed my cheek pulling me out of the bed, placing a robe over my body, before dragging me into the kitchen to eat
"these are really good, you didn't make these", I tested
"no I woke up early and bought them, but I didn't want to kill you with my cooking"
"well thank you", I leant in kissing her softly
"it's really cold so make sure you get rugged up okay"
"okay", I giggled
"why are you laughing?"
"because you're nervous, I can tell"
"I'm excited.. and nervous", she admitted which surprised me
"me too", I kissed her again
--
"hold my hand", I whispered to holland as the standard ultrasound procedure began
"okay so you see that little peanut shape there?", Erin pointed at the screen
"is that our baby?"
"that's your baby. it's about the size of a grain of rice", she explained, pulling the screen closer so that we could see it clearer
"it's so tiny", I sniffled, tears spilling from joy
"oh darling", holland squeezed my hand, kissing the side of my head
"what about the heart beat?", I suddenly panicked
"don't worry it's too early, we'll do another ultrasound in two weeks for the heartbeat. It can be anywhere between six weeks and ten weeks so don't worry about it", Erin assured us "let's just move the scanner around a little bit"
everything looked the same to me, but as Erin moved the scanner around her face changed, her eyes squinting in the process
"is everything okay?", holland spoke quickly
"yes", she nodded "excuse me for a moment", Erin stood up leaving the room
"holland", my lip trembled
"I'm sure it's nothing my angel", she kissed me to stop my nerves
"I'm having a hard time believing you holland", I choked. only moments later another doctor entered along with Erin
"Hi Sarah I'm David, I'm just going to have a second look for you, if that's alright?"
"yes", I nodded nervously
"okay, let's see what's going on here", he remained concentrated on the screen while moving the scanner
"it's just there", Erin whispered
"yeah, you're right", he whispered back
"is everything alright?", holland asked, her voice wavering "is something wrong?"
"no nothing is wrong", David turned to face us "so can you this curvy shape holding your baby?", he showed us just as Erin had done moments ago
"yes"
"and here's the second one", he instructed
"a second one?", I asked confused
"as in twins?", holland butted in
"yes twins", David confirmed
"you're kidding", I laughed "that's just not possible. He's kidding right Erin?"
"No David is right, it's twins"
"twins as in two babies", holland said quietly
"I'll go get this printed and give you two a moment"
"congratulations", David smiled following behind Erin
"holland-"
"I know I'm just thinking", her deep breath echoing through the room
"there's two of them"
"I know darling, just give me a minute", she responded, her head hung low staring at the floor
"what are we going to do?", I began to cry
"well I'm not sure there is much we can do", holland stood up pacing a little
"I can't do this holland! two babies! I don't even know what to do with one baby, let alone two", I stuttered
"hey hey, we can do this", holland came over hugging me close "one for me, one for you", holland chuckled cupping my cheeks making me look at her
"yeah and what's going to happen when one of us is working? or when we're both working? this is going to be impossible"
"no it's not. we will figure that out when we come to it okay princess?"
"how are you so calm? there are two babies holland, two! are you not getting that though your head!"
"I know darling, but there is nothing we can do to change it. the only we can do is accept it and love the shit out of them"
"I can't fit two babies in my body"
"yes you can my angel. you can do anything"
"fuck", I groaned "this is not what I had planned"
"neither darling. but it's okay"
"how? how is this okay?"
"I don't know", holland whispered
"I got it printed for you", Erin interrupted passing me the photo "there's baby number one, and baby number two. Safe and sound"
"I've never been so scared of a photo in my life", I smiled nervously
"I know you two definitely planning on this, but twins is incredible. Only around four percent of the population has twins. Try to look at is as fate"
"how did this happen?"
"it could have to do with the increased amount of sperm that we inseminated, or twins could run in the donors family. There are a million reasons as to why this could have happened"
"and it just happened to have happened to us", I spoke quietly, running my thumb over the black and white picture
"Erin your eleven o'clock is here", a nurse spoke into the silence
"I'm sorry, but I have to go-"
"no go. we'll see you in two weeks", holland smiled "and we best be going"
"you two call me for anything okay?"
"okay, thank you so much Erin"
"congratulations", Erin winked at me before leaving
--
"darling can you come and talk with me?", holland kissed my shoulder as we entered the apartment "you haven't said a word since we left"
"it's just a lot. I mean there's two of them"
"twice the excitement my love. Imagine how big you're going to get now", holland hugged me close, resting her hands on my lower back
"I just don't want to do the wrong thing. I don't want to screw up"
"well you always have the other one"
"holland this isn't funny", I pulled back walking off but holland gripped my wrist
"come on", she said as she pulled me into the spare room "just imagine how exciting it will be when we wake up in the morning and see our two gorgeous babies sleeping in their cribs", holland wrapped her arms around me from behind "I know it's scary honey, but you are not alone. I am here, completely devoted to you and the lives growing inside you. Will it be harder, of course it will be, but I just couldn't be happier"
"and to think you were the one that didn't want a baby"
"I never thought I would fall in love either", she whispered kissing my neck
"Ryans gonna kill us"
"oh yeah", holland laughed