The harder Elysia tried to sleep, the more awake she was. She counted sheep, calmed her mind, and relaxed her body. Nothing worked. Her thoughts were pinpointed on the fact that there was a man in her room. Her very small room. He was positioned about 5 feet away from her, his back resting against the cave wall. She had offered him the cot but he had declined as she knew he would. Besides, he didn't sleep. Ever. Another fact she was all too aware of.
She tried to keep her breathing quiet so as not to disturb Shade from his "relaxed state of consciousness." She wanted him to be well rested. He deserved it after successfully guiding them through that treacherous cave system. In the dark no less.
"You should really get some sleep." Shade's voice jolted her. The room had been completely silent and dark for the past hour. She hadn't expected him to say anything.
She suddenly wondered how he had known she was still awake?
"You haven't taken a deep breath in an hour," he said as if reading her thoughts. "Relax already."
"I'm trying!" Her voice was exasperated.
"Try harder."
She let out a heavy sigh, finally allowing herself to breathe normally. While part of the problem was having a man in the room with her, she had to admit another part of her inability to sleep was dreading going back through those tunnels to get home. It was the most claustrophobic she had ever been, squeezing through the passage so tight she had to suck in a breath just to move further in.
It didn't help that the room she was in now was small. Much smaller than her room in the castle. While she had never considered herself a claustrophobic person, she was beginning to wonder if she had developed a new fear.
While her mind raced, her thoughts shifted back to the moments after she had made it through the narrowest passage of the cave. She remembered the panic all too well. Had Shade not been able to calm her she wasn't sure she would have overcome the terror.
Although she tried to resist remembering, the memory of Shade clutching her close to his body shoved its way through until it became the focus of her attention. She closed her eyes as she allowed herself to remember how he felt. How he held her so protectively. The way his hands brushed through her hair, calming her as best as he could.
Never before did the Princess believe Shade could have been so gentle. Despite all his talk of having no emotions, he certainly knew exactly how to calm hers. Without a mother figure in his life, Elysia would have assumed Shade had no nurturing or soothing capabilities.
Yet, despite being in an unfamiliar place and surrounded by a culture that was completely foreign to her, she found herself feeling protected. Although Shade's presence unnerved her in a way she couldn't understand, she had to admit that she had never felt safer. Regardless of his efforts to remain distant to her, Elysia felt her guardian pulling closer. And she knew without a doubt that he would never let harm befall her. With that in mind she took one last deep breath before sleep finally pulled her into its grasp.
She knew she was dreaming, of course, but she allowed her mind to continue its journey. This dream, after all, was particularly wonderful. Fall and winter had passed and summer was just beginning. Elysia could practically feel the warmth on her skin as she walked in the meadow by the lake of the castle. Though her pace was unbearably slow she did not mind. The beauty around her was enough and she could not remember a more vivid dream. When she finally reached the meadow's peak she looked down at the lake's edge and noticed there was a person there.
Although she could not see his face she could tell it was her guardian. She started to walk faster towards him but her dream state would not allow it. Her legs rebelled against her will and so she called out to her guardian. He turned and when he did Elysia was shocked to see he was not wearing his usual dark hooded cloak. Instead he was dressed normally, his face exposed. To her frustration the dream did not allow her to see his face, not fully. His face was muddled, only exposing the bits she knew.
She fought harder to run and as she did she felt her stomach flip as she began to fall. She willed her mind to allow herself to stay in the dream, willed herself not to wake with the start of falling. To her surprise her mind agreed with her. Shade caught hold of her just as she fell forward, somehow magically appearing at her side as opposed to his original position by the lake.
It was strange, but then again dreams usually were. She could see his sly smile as he held her up, one hand around her waist, the other supporting her upper back as she remained arched from the momentum of falling. While his face was still muddled by the dream, his smile was certain. Elysia closed her eyes and slowly Shade lowered her to the ground until they were both lying down, their heads turned towards another.
Her hand rested on his chest and she looked at him, hoping her mind would allow her to finally see his face fully. But how could a dream envision something she herself had not yet seen?
He was staring at her intently and slowly, ever so slowly, began leaning his head closer to hers, his gaze on her lips. She felt her own lips part as if welcoming his. He was so close to her she breathed him in and then...
"Wake up, Princess."
Elysia's eyes opened quickly and she curled up in shock, wondering suddenly where she was. She glanced around and remembered the caves. She looked at Shade who was standing tall above her now.
"We need to get going."
Elysia sighed but nodded her head. She had no idea if the sun was even up yet but it certainly felt early.
As she sat up in the cot, she stifled a yawn and stretched her arms overhead. Looking down, she noticed how filthy her dress was. Pity, but at least it wasn't one of her more expensive ones.
Shade knelt down before her and Elysia resisted the urge to scoot back. His hands reached for the hem of her dress and she sucked in a breath as he lifted her dress up to her knees. She stared at him intently, her hands gripping the bed tightly.
"What are you--" she stopped, finally realizing his intent as his fingers gently probed the stitches above her knee.
"Not too bad. Should heal nicely."
She nodded, her mouth struggling to find words. She was all too aware of his fingers still resting lightly on her knee.
"How does it feel?" His voice was hoarse, still waking up. Elysia stared into his eyes, flecks of green bouncing off the small light from the lantern. Had they been outside in the light she would have been able to see his face clearly.
How did she feel? She couldn't tell him that his touch made her nervous and excited all at the same time. Or that she fell asleep last night to the memory of him holding her. She certainly couldn't tell him about her dream...
And then she realized he had been referring to her injury.
Quickly she pulled her dress back down, covering her exposed legs. "It's fine." It came out more curtly than she had meant and she stood up. "We should get going. Ralf needs the ash."
Shade stood, though he remained close to her, that magnetic pull to him urging her near. She stepped back. Grabbed the lantern, and led the way out.
Once outside the light overwhelmed them, causing them to squint as their eyes adjusted.
One of the monks waved them over and led them back to Simon. Simon looked less than thrilled to be tasked as their guide again. He also looked disturbed. Elysia could only guess he was perturbed at their sharing a room last night. Elysia still found it hard to look at Shade, as if doing so would let on that she had dreamt of him.
"In a few hours it will be safe for them to travel through the caves, the water will have gone down enough for you to get passed. Until then, show our guests as much hospitality as you can."
Simon was instructed to carry on with the tour. For half the day they were shown around the Holy Land. They saw the gardens where their food was grown, saw the storage facility where the food was kept. Simon gave them an hour long lecture on how their irrigation system worked, as well as how their living quarters had functioning sinks with fresh running water. He showed them the medical wing with their herbal remedies and centuries of naturopathic and holistic medical practices. This Elysia found most fascinating and she took time to ask the apothecary and physician questions about their practices and treatments.
Elysia was learning more in a few hours here than she had in months of her grandmother's classes. She absorbed the information like a sponge and asked any question that came to mind. To her delight they did not mock or scorn her for her curiosity. Rather, the more questions she asked and interest she showed in their lives, the more the people opened up to her. They began to relax around her. She was gaining their trust with her enthusiasm to learn about their culture and heritage.
Shade followed her around as she went to and fro to the various centers of the kingdom. When it came time to eat, Elysia and Shade were guided back to the large open area where the Great Memory Tree stood tall and long. They were instructed to sit as everyone else was also seated around them. They all sat cross legged and were eventually handed a ceramic bowl of vegetable broth and a hearty piece of bread. No silverware was provided and Elysia looked around to see what others were doing before taking the bowl up to her lips and slurping away.
She smiled as she realized there was absolutely no etiquette here. She was sitting on the dirty ground with her legs crossed, slurping her soup rather loudly she might add, and Maria was not there to scold her for it.
After the meal the people talked amongst themselves. She looked over at Shade and wondered if he might initiate a conversation. He looked back at her and she could tell he was anxious to leave. His dark demeanor and cloak stuck out rather humorously amongst the shaved heads and he looked rather ridiculous sitting cross legged on the dirt, more than a head taller than everyone else.
One of the elders, a man named Jakoba, was sat next to Elysia and was telling her about the history of Sagrada. He explained how the Great Memory Tree worked. The longer branches and interconnections were from the beginning of Sagrada's existence. They held the oldest, most sacred memories of the land. The taller, shorter branches held newer memories, some of the most recent being from the day the tree was burned by Shade. Elysia had struggled to remain composed and not grimace at that part. After all, their original plan had been to do something similar for the ash.
"How do you store the memories?" She asked. There were tales of how these people lived and how they stored their memories, but Elysia knew it was a lot of speculation. Nobody really paid a visit to Sagrada, not unless they needed something. And if they did need something, they would have to survive the tunnels to get there first. This was her opportunity to learn more about a culture that was vastly misunderstood.
"It is a process we learn at a young age. It takes time and patience to understand how to transfer our memories to the tree. Simply put, we place our hand on the tree and find a deep connection within. A connection to our ancestors and to ourselves. Then we think about what we want the tree to store for us, provide as much detail as we can, focusing the memory and honing in on the physical, emotional, and spiritual sensations we experienced at that time."
"When we are finished, we simply step back and release our hold on the tree. Slowly the tree will sprout a new branch or form a continuation of another. The tree will continue to grow and expand, stretching up, down, and around itself until it runs out of room."
"Will that ever happen?" She asked.
He shook his head slowly. "I believe the tree will find its own path and continue growing even if it has to expand into the caves."
"Amazing." It was a wonder how the tree could adapt and continue to fill the spaces around it with more branches and connections of memories from the past. "It must be so humbling to be able to see the life of your ancestors and truly learn from their mistakes and expand upon their ideas."
Jakoba looked at her with interest gleaming in his eyes. "Would you like to see for yourself?"
Elysia held her breath. Was he offering for her to touch the tree? Her mouth opened in disbelief. "As honored as I would be-" she stopped and then whispered, "Am I even allowed to?"
Jakoba smiled. His face was old and wrinkled but it was kind and his smile held true generosity. "Our job is to keep the Sacred Tree safe. Not hide it from the world. Everyone deserves the chance to learn from their ancestors. We are not the only people who hold memories in this tree, young one. There might be some people you are familiar with who hold memories here. The Tree has a way of individualizing the experience towards each person. There might be something hidden that you need to find."
That made the Princess nervous. What if there was something she didn't want to know stored inside that tree? A secret locked up that wasn't supposed to be found by her.
She was so deep in thought she hadn't even noticed Jakoba had stood up and was offering his hand to her. She took it lightly, using her own strength to stand. She was vaguely aware of Shade moving behind her, following wherever she would lead.
Jakoba took her to the back part of the tree, a more secluded area. It was quiet and a faint breeze tickled her hair against the skin of her cheek. She brushed it aside and waited for further instruction.
"Remember what I told you earlier. Relax your mind and your body. Get rid of any thoughts and allow the Tree to guide you into the past."
Elysia nodded in understanding. When Jakoba nodded, she stepped forward, glancing up first at the entirety of the tree. It seemed to stretch up to the heavens.
Then she calmly placed a hand flat against the bark of the tree. She took deep, even breaths and released any tension in her body. Her mind was harder to relax. Her thoughts were everywhere. Nothing was happening. Was she doing it wrong? Maybe it wouldn't work for her? How embarrassing.
A full minute went by as she waited for her thoughts to cease. How long was this supposed to take? But she was so nervous, so excited for this new experience, that she couldn't calm down. Frustrated, she released her hand from the tree, stepping back and opening her eyes.
"I'm sorry, I can't do it." She turned to look for Jakoba but he was gone. She frowned, her head turning each direction in search for him. "Jakoba?" She called out.
"Princess," Shade's voice came from the other direction and she jumped back at his proximity.
"Don't sneak up on me like that. Where is Jakoba?"
Shade reached for her hand and she reflexively held it close to her chest, away from him. What was he doing?
He stopped, then slowly reached for her hand again. This time she let him take it, her mental guard lowering.
"You need to relax," he said as he guided her hand back to the tree.
"Yes, I understand that. I tried."
"Try again."
"It doesn't matter," she was getting irritated, ashamed she was unable to make the Tree work for her. "We should get going anyway."
"Try again." he said more firmly and she relented. She pressed her hand back to the tree and to her surprise he put his hand on top of hers, smoothly moving so his body was right behind her, his other hand on her other side.
She should have felt trapped but instead she felt secure. She should have pushed away, after all it was highly irregular behavior for a royal to be pinned against a tree by a man. If it were anyone else, Elysia would have kneed him in the groin. But there was nothing demeaning in Shade's actions, no hidden motives. He was simply trying to help her connect.
His mouth was by her ear, "Now take a deep breath," she inhaled obediently, "and let it out slowly. Let every muscle in your body relax. Good. It's impossible to think of nothing so instead of trying to turn off your thoughts, I want you to think about the cave."
She shivered. The cave had been horrible, she didn't want to think about it. Didn't want to remember what she had to endure to get here.
"Remember when the light went out and you were enveloped in darkness?"
"Yes." she whispered, her voice almost a whimper. It had been horrible.
"Close your eyes and picture that darkness again."
It wasn't hard to remember. It was unlike any darkness she had been in before. When you close your eyes at least you can still sense the light beyond, but in the caves there was nothing. No hope of light for a mile. It was the kind of darkness that could drive a man crazy.
In the back of her mind she wondered why Shade thought this would help her. She supposed if you couldn't truly think of nothing, you might as well picture a void. But instead it was causing distress, bringing back emotions of fear and anxiety from yesterday. Rather than continue to listen to Shade's advice, she sought out a new plan. Rather than think of nothing and voids of darkness, she wondered if a soothing memory might help instead.
She fought to conjure one. There were memories of her as a child, her mother brushing her hair before bed. Or her father tickling her feet when she was upset and holding her tight when she was afraid of the shadows.
Nothing, however, compared to the sense of security she had felt from Shade in the caves. He had kept her from breaking, kept her mind from shattering from the hurricane of anxiety. Even now, just the light touch of his hands over hers, his body behind her, his lips so close to her ears as he leaned close. His efforts were to get her to relax and control her mind, but the outcome was something very unexpected.
She was having difficulty focusing on anything other than his presence, his body so intoxicatingly close.
And then it happened. She felt the pull, as if her body were morphing into the tree, becoming one with it. That darkness she had been picturing turned hazy, a blue fog hovering in the air around her.
When she turned, Shade was gone. Everything was gone. Even the Tree.
"Hello?" She called, wondering if she was missing something. Honestly she had no idea what to expect. How does one share memories with thousands of others before her?
Thunder rolled in the distance. Then the sound of waves. A storm. And she was in the middle of it. The ground beneath her was no longer solid and she was hurtled into the torrent of water below as the waves angrily sloshed back and forth, the force of it knocking into her.
A boat was in the distance. No not a boat, a ship. As it drew near, Elysia frantically reached for anything to grab hold of and then clung to it for dear life. Eventually she found a way to hoist herself up and onto the ship's deck, the passengers around her hanging on to anything that was solid. She could see the fear in their eyes. Mothers with their children, men with their families. Where were they going in this storm?
Time morphed and the storm cleared, a rainbow forming as the sun peaked out and spread light, glistening onto the waters around them. The people slowly stood up, their faces hopeful. At the end of the rainbow was land.
Elysia frowned as no one seemed to recognize that she was there. In fact, they even moved through her, as if she were made of mist.
Again time morphed and the ship was anchored. The people hurried eagerly onto the land, the children happy to stretch their legs and run into the vast open fields before them. The grass was so green, the air so fresh, and the mountains in the distance were so beautiful the people could swear they were singing.
"Lyra." A woman's voice declared. "We've found our home."
Then it hit her. This was her own kingdom. This was the founding of her kingdom! These people were the first settlers, the first rulers. But just as she was realizing what this memory was, time morphed again and she found the ground moving from under her, causing her to stumble.
Now she was in the mountains. She could see her kingdom's castle in the distance by the shore. Or rather, she could see the beginnings of construction of the castle in the distance. Several parts of her kingdom were missing, so many buildings had yet to be constructed. She wondered what year she was in now.
A rumble close by made her crouch low and lean against the mountainside in efforts to shield her position. Somehow she felt as though she could still be in danger, even if these were only memories.
At first she had thought the rumble had been thunder but then she caught sight of an icy blue scaled tail as it disappeared around the corner. A dragon!
She stood back up and peered around the corner to catch a glimpse of it. Instead she saw a person, moving slowly towards the dragon, their hands up in surrender, their eyes gentle and kind. The dragon seemed too baffled to move and stared at the man as he approached. No one had ever dared get this close to a dragon before. Her thoughts, she found, were not entirely her own. There were whispers in her mind, as if she were hearing the thoughts of the people around her.
No one had tried to get this close to a dragon. Who would want to? What would be the point other than certain death?
But here this man was, daring to get closer. The dragon could appreciate such courage. Whether or not it was courage or foolishness had yet to be determined. After all, humans were still a nice snack for dragons and served as no other purpose.
When the man reached a tentative hand toward the dragon, he received a huff of warning, steam coming from his nostrils and heating the man's hand. The man made a noise and stepped backward, but then took a breath and pushed forward.
Utterly entranced by this man's efforts, the dragon remained in place, too puzzled to move. The man finally got close enough to touch the scales along the dragon's neck. It wasn't a terrible feeling, the dragon thought. In fact, it was kind of nice, comforting. He wasn't so alone anymore. For dragons lived a very lonely life, usually tucked away someplace solitary like a mountainside.
The dragon stepped back and then lowered his head down until he was face to face with the man. The man didn't even flinch. Instead, he laughed, his grin growing. What an odd human. The sound of approaching footsteps ruined the moment and caused the dragon to retreat to higher ground, its wings flying soundlessly above.
Elysia felt the familiar shift in time around her and this time readied herself for the ground to move. The scene before her was chaotic. There were several critically injured men on the ground, arrows in their abdomens and hearts. Clearly there had been a battle.
The man from the mountain was one of them. He was struggling to breath and every time he tried to inhale, blood came out instead. The dragon appeared at his side and had clearly grown attached to this human. The Princess wasn't sure what battle had just ended or why it had started in the first place.
All she knew was this man was clearly going to die. And this dragon had become his dear friend. He reached out his hand towards his dragon and the dragon lowered his head, allowing his friend to stroke the glimmering blue scales along his head and neck.
A tear seemed to shed from the dragon's eye as he watched his friend slowly die. Unable to bear the idea of it, the dragon did something amazing. He slowly rest a pair of claws on his friend's chest, just above his heart. Then swiftly he dug his claws in and the man grunted out in pain, a shocked and confused expression on his face. Then, using its other claws, the dragon plunged into its own chest.
Elysia couldn't quite see what happened next but somehow the dragon had connected itself to the human. They were physically bonded and the dragon was therefore able to heal the man of his wounds completely. Tied together by the same heartstrings.
It was the very first dragon bond, Elysia realized. The dragon had chosen to attach its own life source to his human friend. The mark had appeared on his hand to prove it. How different this had been to how dragon bonds were formed now, Elysia thought. Ralf's dragon had appeared to him at birth, drawn to it's chosen human by a bond so pure and powerful. Sometimes Elysia felt a twinge of inadequacy when she thought about it. Mirum had obviously seen that Ralf was more worthy of the bond. The perfect match for her. While Elysia knew Ralf needed the bond more than she did, she couldn't help but be jealous at times.
This time, time shifted before Elysia could even anticipate it. She fell to the ground and got up slowly. She was sure she would have bruises from this experience.
She was in the throne room of the castle, but it wasn't her father sitting upon the throne. However, something about this man was familiar to Elysia. He had her father's hair and stature. But those eyes. They were nearly black and though Elysia knew she was merely an apparition of mist in this memory, she felt true fear in her stomach.
The king stood abruptly and charged towards her, so fiercely that she ran backwards in retreat. Another shift.
Now she was on the training grounds. She recognized it instantly. Behind her she heard voices and turned to face them.
"You're not trying nearly hard enough. Magic takes practice and patience and so far you have neither..." That voice. She recognized it instantly. Her father. Her heart leapt and she ran closer. Oblivious to her presence, the two went on talking. "Try again."
The woman standing across from him was young, a few years younger than Elysia. She looked overworked and irritated. But Elysia recognized the eyes. Her mother.
Whoa...this was so weird. Her parents were so much younger, so different. Her mom was trying to levitate a stick and not much was happening. Then, after a moment, the stick went flying towards her father's head, but he caught it just in time.
"You have to control yourself," She had never heard him talk to her mother like that. "If that had been an arrow you could have killed me." She could see the shame on her mother's face as she apologized. "Again."
This time-shift lasted longer than the others and she happily watched her parents interact with each other. It was almost comical watching them. She could sense the tension between them. It was as if they masked their affections with vexation. Nowadays King Alan was so sweet and doting to his wife. Her opinion was the first he would seek.
Now Elysia watched as her mother levitated a large rock, lifting it higher and higher. She watched in horror as her mother showed signs of fatigue, her eyes unable to stay open. As her mother collapsed from exhaustion, time shifted once more, but this time the world seemed to turn upside down and Elysia was falling from the sky, dragons soaring around her. Fire was reigning down all around, wings were beating, dragons were shrieking.
Her mom's dragon, Fuego, was falling, plummeting to the Earth quickly. Elysia's heart raced as she fell alongside him. She caught sight of her mom, on the back of another dragon, pulling a dagger out of the rider's heart. Just when they all were about to hit the ground to their death, the memory switched to a safer time.
Her mother was screaming and Elysia was trying frantically to keep up as the world kept shifting around her, the scenes continuously moving through time, giving her a pounding headache. She clutched her head as it pounded and as her mother continued to cry out. What was going on?
She hollered out in vain, "Mom? What's happening?"
Then she realized where she was, when she was. This was the day of her birth. Oh no...she wasn't sure she wanted to see this.
Like it or not she witnessed her own birth. Watched as Ralf was born first, just a minute before herself. It was so surreal. Then, Mirum appeared, and she watched as everyone wondered who she was bonded to. And then they all saw the mark on Ralf's hand. It was magical. She would have never guessed she would want to witness this day but she was so glad she had.
She watched as she (baby Elysia) was handed to her father. King Alan looked at her like she was the greatest treasure in the world. Elysia's eyes welled with tears and she struggled in vain not to cry. Unable to resist, she walked closer, observing how her father looked at her.
He himself was welling up. He cradled her so gently, so lovingly. He took hold of one of her tiny hands and gushed as she closed a fist around his finger.
"Alan, what would you like to name our daughter?"
Elysia wiped away her tears and listened intently. She had no idea her father had named her. No one had ever told her.
"Her eyes are the color of the Elysian river. It only seems suitable that we name her Elysia."
"Dad," she said aloud, though no one could hear her. "Why didn't you tell me you named me?" She found herself crying quietly. What a difference time would make. In this moment King Alan looked at his daughter with such affection, such pure love and adoration. Give him 18 years and he would be looking at her with disappointment in his eyes.
How far they had come. She longed for the day when her father would look at her like this again. Like a treasure and not a pest.
When time shifted this time, she leaned into it, ready to disappear again. The knowledge of how much she had disappointed her father over the years was too much to bear. The comparison was overwhelming.
Prophecy was in the room and Elysia listened as she prophesied Elysia's life. She nailed it right on the peg so far. Cunning and rebellious, hard to control. "You must keep an eye on her at all times if you wish to keep her safe. But I fear even this may not be enough to keep her out of harm's way."
Great. So Elysia was doomed to get into more trouble. Ralf's future was so bright, so up-lifting. "Great things" could be expected of him. Elysia huffed in annoyance.
Prophecy left and the family took in what she had foretold. But something troubled King Alan. Elysia followed her father as he exited the room swiftly and unnoticed by the others. He caught up to Prophecy, gently asking her to wait.
"What you said about my daughter. How am I supposed to protect her? What kind of trouble will she be in?"
Prophecy looked perturbed. "I have told you all I can."
"Please. I just want to keep her safe."
She must have seen the desperation in his eyes. The worry only a father could have for his daughter. She sighed. "Fine. Elysia will either bring your kingdom triumph or ruin. One choice could be the end of everything."
King Alan looked frantic. "What does that mean? How am I supposed to help her?"
"You can't. She can't be controlled. She can't be stopped. She is untamable. You can only hope when the time comes she will make the right decision. Her life and the sake of your kingdom will depend on it."