About forty minutes later, Joshua
First of all, it’s nice to have my point of view back again. I mean, I’m fine with others having the spotlight and all, but only chapters of Koharu’s POV? I guess she deserves it, but... Let’s all remember whose story this is. Not Kazuto’s. Not Asuna’s. No one else’s. Mine.
Anyway, after logging off and taking a quick hygiene check, I walk down the steps to the first floor. Halfway down, my nostrils detect a faint, sweet fragrance coming from the kitchen. I didn’t cook anything, and I didn’t plan on doing so, so imagine my shock when I enter the kitchen and see that black-haired partner of mine in the kitchen and using the stove like it is her kitchen.
Well, there are two reasons I don’t protest. One, I’m hungry, so a free meal is fine with me (or at least I hope it is free). Two, most importantly, I hadn’t had Koharu’s cooking in two years. Yes, Sword Art Online technically doesn’t count in reality, but if I had to be honest, Asuna had competition on Old Aincrad. Of course, unlike Asuna, I could be treated to Koharu’s delicious handiwork daily. It’s surprising, considering I’ve sat and watched Kazuto eat whatever Asuna makes for him at lunch that I haven’t thought of the same with Koharu.
“Oh, hi… Um, sorry for--”
“Rei knows you can come as you please. Doesn’t bother me, I think. Where’s Suko?”
“Weekend with a friend of his. So since I’m free, I thought I would...well...make dinner for us.”
Once again, I don’t protest. Reason #3 is quite simple. If you’re watched enough anime or read manga and light novels, you can picture what I see. Nicest kitchen you can imagine, the cutest girl (or guy, or whatever) and that person wearing an apron. I remember Kazuto telling me of the story when he and Asuna eat that rare variation of the rabbit in SAO (still slighted I wasn’t invited and that was two years ago) and seeing her in an apron for the first time. Koharu and I never owned property on Old Aincrad, so I never got the chance to get the homely feel they did. My GGO apartment doesn’t exactly fit that bill, with it functioning as Crimson Squad’s base of operations, so maybe we should look at places either on ALO or SA:O.
I suddenly realize I’m staring, and turn away. “Sure, go ahead. Does the real Koharu know how to cook as good as SAO’s?”
Koharu smirks as if that’s a challenge. “You’ll see. Now shoo.”
“Are you shooing me in my house?”
“You’re in the way.”
“I’m barely in here.”
“You’re disrupting me.”
“I… Fine. I’ll go watch TV or something.” I walk to the living room, drop in my favorite chair, kick up the leg rest, and turn the TV on. Instead of flipping on the local channels, I decided to open the Crunchyroll app and watch some anime. Decisions, decisions… After a few minutes of indecisiveness, I almost give up until the remote control is removed from my hands. “Huh? Hey!”
Koharu drops down on the couch and shrugs. “You’re taking forever. Here, let’s watch this.” “This” turns out to be an anime called Golden Time, which I vividly recall watching before. Story of some university guy with retrograde amnesia falling in love with an energetic rich girl...or I think she’s rich. Has to be, she’s too...Asuna-like to be poor.
You know, the super hot but equally super annoying type. That’s why I prefer the cute, definitely not annoying girls like...ah, I should think before I speak. But you can fill in the blanks.
“Why this?”
“I like rom-coms, and apparently so do you.”
“I like the comedy.”
“Because your life is one?”
“I see two years in a coma has not lessened your ability to bite back.”
“Or mellowed you out. Still a complainer to whatever I do.”
“Right, because whatever you did usually got us in trouble. You took the ‘kindred’ part of your nickname too seriously.”
“Oh, yet this ‘kindred’ girl is making your dinner.”
“And that is something I won’t argue.”
xxxxxxxx
Two hours, one dinner, and several episodes of Golden Time later, I lock my house door and follow Koharu down to the sidewalk. Instead of heading to the left, in the direction of her apartment, we turn to the right in the direction of the nearby park. It's the last weekend of August, so there's a slight fall chill in the night air. I wear a light black jacket while Koharu borrows a green one. "'So you do know how to wear other colors,'" she said. "'You wore and wear as much red as I do, magenta is just a dark red,'" I clapped back. She said something else, but it's not something I should ever repeat because that hurt my feelings.
"You choose an odd hour to go to the park, Ko."
"Well… It’s not like I wanted to go to the park."
"Then why are we out here? This was your idea."
"It's just...we used to walk around towns late at night, remember?" So this, just like her cooking, is another trip for her down our memories together. Well, I can't find the will to protest that. It does bring me back with each step we take, the two of us either coming from the field, from dinner or some other activity to an inn. We would talk about whatever popped in our head, laugh at each other's jokes or expenses. I bet, to onlookers, we looked very close-knit, which we were. Probably even lovers...which we were.
You're probably wondering what my feelings towards Koharu are, if they're the same as when we last saw each other in SAO, or has the past two and a half years truly changed them. I do know I'm happy she's back, that I can see the real her. I do know that seeing her in Underworld and having her beside me now has filled a hole in my heart, the same one that not even Rika could fill. The closest might have been my reunification with Momiji last year.
But ask me if I love Koharu, the answer is unknown.
When I saw her on the Ocean Turtle after waking up, I thought the answer would be easy. When I spoke to Kazuto afterward, and he told me that the one who'll help me find what Akihiko Kayaba wanted to find out of SAO is the one, the choice was obvious. But that's me being biased in the moment because as soon as I touched down in Tokyo, I realized I had a choice I did not make.
The day after, I took Shino to a fireworks festival, one we decided to go together on when summer break began. I meant to reject her, but being there with her, seeing how much fun she was having, how could I answer her desire for me "to look her way" at that moment? For better or worse, I never had to; she told me she knew my answer while we scouted to the next floor. At least, that is what she says.
Also on my mind is the Underworld and the two women closest to my heart. Because I made a few notes before my memories were wiped, I remember that I was the emperor of the Dark Territory. I had a queen, that being Eydis Synthesis Ten. The other notes aren't important to mention, but there wasn't a single note about the Orthinanos family. Of course, my Fluctlight, still saved by Mr. Higa, knows the answer, but I'm afraid to find out. I do know that whenever I think of Medina, I'm suddenly overwhelmed by sadness and longing. What I told Koharu earlier is my interpretation of the Crimson Emperor's feelings towards his fellow Blade of Orthinanos.
Then there's Rika, the heroine thrice in my life. Once again, she came to my aid (though I can't say it was all for me, Asuna and Kazuto were with me in the Underworld and I don’t know if they knew of Koharu beforehand) by convincing thousands of ALO and GGO players to risk their accounts to fight in the Underworld. No one lost anything as far as I'm aware, but the fighting against the US and continental Asian players allied with PoH must've been hard. When I went to thank them, only our friends, Koharu and my friend's from SAO, Kureha and a few members of Crimson Squad, and a few others were left. I was too busy trying to save Alice from Subtilizer (and getting revenge for what he did to GGO with his former Arfa-Sys, Lievre) to provide aid, missing my opportunity to fight PoH, but I heard Koharu did well I do remember taking potshots at a tree Kirito turned that bastard into, so I got some satisfaction. I originally thought Asuna assembled the backup, this used to be her forte, but Klein pointed out it was Lisbeth. And in an act that surprised even me, I reached out and grabbed her into a hug. I know what I said earlier, that in my heart I moved on, but it isn't as simple as I made it seem.
And if I forget love, there's the family matter. As far as I know, everything is the same as before. Grandfather still in the hospital, Dad recovering both physically and with the Project Alicization under RoboTelligence's control. Momiji says she'll keep me posted on both happenings, that I should relax and focus on my life that I can control. Easy for her to say, she left to go work for my dad while I was on the Ocean Turtle unconscious.
"You've thinking about something, aren't you?" Koharu interrupts my thoughts as I walk back from the drink machine, handing her a canned fruit punch while she sways on the swings. I take the seat to her right and rock slightly while opening my canned coffee.
"Yes."
"About your family?"
"Partially. So far, nothing has changed, so I've had no reason to worry more than I have. And thinking about what I can do rather than what I wish I could do has helped, like being in GGO or being a student. You've been helpful."
"I'm glad. You've always taken care of me, so that's the least I could do. Rika, Asuna, Kazuto as well."
I take a sip of my drink. "Rika doesn't have to do anything for me."
"She's still your friend. No matter the past. You'd still help her, right?"
"...Guess so. Speaking of which, what's happened between you two? The atmosphere at school has been different from Monday."
Koharu stops swinging and lowers her drinks from her lips. "She's called a truce until you're yourself again."
"Truce?" So that explains their behavior today compared to last week. But... The last time this happened, Rika and Keiko were vying for Kazuto’s attention from Asuna, but you know how that ended. They only did that out of respect for Asuna, which prevented Kazuto from having an isekai hero-like life with the girls. Of course, not all the girls Kazuto has met as Kirito has bowed out like they did (Alice, for one, shares a hidden rivalry with Asuna since they’ve literally crossed swords in the Underworld, and poor Keiko... I want to save her.).
Rika called the truce back then, she calls this one...knowing she’s at the same disadvantage she was last year. Asuna and Kazuto were stuck together, even at school, there was no tearing them apart. Koharu and I...in some regards are getting back to our old selves with each other.
I sigh and change the subject, picking whatever comes up in my head. “It’s getting cold soon. Do you have winter clothing?”
“None that fit me. I’m not sure you can tell, but I am taller than when we first met. You think the NerveGear actually kept track of our physical changes?”
“I don’t even know if I grew taller virtually in SAO. Maybe we did, but never noticed.”
“Maybe. Anyway, I do need a winter wardrobe. Oh, I should gather the girls and we can--”
“Just us.” I blurt it out so quickly that I don’t realize what I just said until Koharu turns to me. Once again the old me, the side that loves Koharu, gets in the way. Or is that my true, honest feelings I’m keeping caged up? I wish I had the answer to that. “I mean… If you want to invite the girls, fine, but I want to come.”
Koharu looks at me incredulously. “Really? You hated going shopping with me?”
“Things change.”
“Has it really?”
“Well… I like swimsuit shopping, I’ll be honest.”
“Pervert.”
“Says the girl who dragged a 16-year-old boy amid puberty on such shopping, who is truly the pervert here?”
“That same girl was 16, and during puberty too. I only asked because...you know, body image issues girls have against other girls.”
“Who were you competing with?”
“Asuna, for one. She’s still so pretty, head to toe. And many of the other girls we knew. You couldn’t tell from the armor she wore, but Liten had a smoking hot body. So yes, I had competition.”
I roll my eyes. Is that the source of the trouble Kazuto and I go through each time we see the girls in swimsuits? A body competition? In that case, Suguha wins both virtually and in reality. I have last year’s summer etched in my brain forever. “Okay, sure. But my point stands. You didn’t need confirmation from me anyway, you were always cute--no, beautiful to me, no matter what you wore. That stands even now.”
Like me, I’m sure the heat on Koharu’s face is not because of the chill. “Th-Thank you.”
“...Welcome.”
“...Hey, doesn’t this night remind you of the first night, after Kayaba’s announcement and I cried like a baby?”
I clear my through of the previous conversation and look up to the sky. A cold, starry night, a full moon, and the two of us isolated from the rest of the world. Not quite the same, there isn’t a certain rat popping her dumb head around here, but I see the similarities. “Yeah, though it’s good you remember you cried like a baby.”
“Shut up, ha ha. Yes, I did, but as always you comforted me. One day, I hope to even us out for the fifty-four floors you’ve took care of me.”
“Fifty-five.”
“Fifty-five?”
“Yeah. Well, in a sense, we did clear fifty-four levels together, yet you did walk on the fifty-fifth. You remember how pissed I was the Assault Team left us behind because we didn’t have gear for the cold environment yet?”
Koharu giggles in remembrance. “You sulked like a baby. So… Did you clear that floor?”
“I did. It was a few days after your death, actually. I kept to myself actually during the entire thing, from the meeting to the defeat of the boss. Everyone knew why, so no one approached me except Asuna. She told me to take time off, and to come back when I was ready. I think...no, I know that was the one and only time I’ve cried in Asuna’s arms, and hers in mine. I didn’t return until a month later when she asked for my assistance for the fifty-sixth-floor boss.”
“...You two have the weirdest friendship ever.”
“We do, and we don’t care what you guys think. She’s a great friend.”
“Hope you remember how great a friend she is after you commented on your best friend’s girlfriend’s boobs.”
“...I hate her for telling you... Anyway, it’s not like you owe me for our time together. You say I’ve done much for you, right, but don’t you know how much you did for me?”
“I did--”
“You reined me in from making mistakes. You saved my life on multiple occasions because I tried playing hero. You gave me someone I could rely on. Without you, I wouldn’t be friends with most of the people we know. You took a spiteful Japanese-American boy and shaped him into...well, I’m much less spiteful than I was back then. I believe that everything about me today is because of you, Ko. More important than anything, you are the reason--before and after your ‘death’--that I am alive. Just the mere memory of you kept me going day to day. It saved me in ALO when Kirito and I went after Asuna. It saved me in GGO when my life was on the line again. It made me fight during the Ordinal Scale incident and in the Underworld. So, to say you owe me is invalid because who I am--Joshua and Jaymes--is nothing without you.”
Koharu drops her head and stands up. Concerned, I stand up as well and step over in front of her. She flinches when I raise my hand to her shoulder-length black hair and push it out the way, revealing her silent tears. Now I’m even more confused. “Ko?”
“I…”
“You?”
“I love you.” She said it so softly that I could have misheard it, then she looks up at me, her emerald eyes fierce and determined, and repeats it. “I love you, Joshua.”
“I…”
Leaning on me, she hides her face from me, but her tone is strong. “I hate that we made that stupid pact to not act on it while in SAO because the entire time we were together, I loved you. When you first saved me during the beta, I loved you. When you took me away on the night like this and called me your partner, I loved you. When you told me those vital words, that I could be strong, even stronger than you, I loved you. When we joined with Asuna and Kirito and advanced the floors, you never betrayed our partnership, and I loved you for it. And thought it was reckless and stupid, whenever you tried being a hero for my sake, I loved you even more. When you gave me the second brooch and those blue flowers, I knew it was true that I loved you. And the day I died, the day you consider your biggest failure, I loved you for making the scariest moment in my life the happiest. When we reunited in the Underworld and I saw how shocked you were, I loved you all over again. When PoH tried to break my spirit with his words, the love I had for you kept me fighting.”
“Ko, I…”
She grabs my jacket with one hand, but still keeps her face down. “I think you lied to me the other night, about how you made a choice and that Rika should hear it first. I don’t think you came close to one, you said so as much today, but that’s fine. And… I’m known for my kindness, my selflessness, right? I believe that’s the girl I’ve grown to be. But even I can be selfish, can be jealous, can be spiteful. So… Forgetting the truce for a moment, I’m going to be selfish. I want you to choose me, Joshua! Rika had her chance. Everyone else has to. So it is my turn, is it not? So…” Koharu looks up at me, her face and eyes wet, yet it adds more to her beauty. Both her words and her looks, I’m paralyzed to take any action, so I do nothing but add to my shock when she raises herself and I feel her lips on mine for the first time since her dying day, for the first time in the real world.
And that one spot of my heart, the one that forever belongs to Koharu, starts its conquest over the rest...