Yes. It was awkward. What other way was there to describe Zayn being caught staring at Harry's body like that that day? Oh yes. Embarrassing. Very embarrassing. And so embarrassing that Zayn promptly said goodbye, took his truffles and left for home.
And things weren't easier the next day, either. It turned out that what Zayn said Louis wouldn't do Louis did. Because that evening after work when it was just the two of them, Louis waltzed into Zayn's office with with a squeeze bottle and box in his hand. He tossed them onto the desk on top of Zayn's paperwork.
"Have you given it some thought? To the part about starting off with what you're confortable with first, I mean."
Zayn's eyes bucked. He couldn't believe he actually did it. Obviously louis was more serious than he thought. "I haven't, actually."
"That's too bad. I really thought you would think about what I said and change your mind."
When he saw Louis' pouty look, he exhaled heavily.
"I'm sorry. It's not that I don't think about you. It's just... you can't come into my office, throw lube and some condoms on the desk and expect me to want... what you're trying to give me."
"A handjob?"
"Yeah, that."
"Wow. That's crazy. I don't think I've ever been around a man who doesn't get turned on by just the offer of sex or getting off."
"Louis."
"I'm not so sure that's just a virgin thing. Or maybe it is."
"Louis. Stop it."
"What?"
"The simple offer of sex doesn't turn me on anymore because I'm not a-"
He stopped himself. Did he really want to do this? Did he really want to put the idea of not being a virgin in Louis' head? Not really. Because as long as he believed it, he'd take things slow with him.
"Not a what?"
"Um... I'm not a simple man. It takes more than words and promises. I have to have something I can both see and feel."
Louis seemed to get an evil gleam in his eye. "Well, then, I'll simply give you something to see and feel. Let's start with my ass."
He came over to Zayn's chair, pushed back the chair he was in, then he helped himself to Zayn's lap. The pressure made Zayn freeze right there. That was definitely something he could feel.
"This is not appropriate for the workplace."
But Louis turned sideways and kissed him, captivating him with his lips.
"I'm going to fire you."
"You wouldn't."
"I would."
"You said the same thing if I brought lube and condoms. Yet I'm still here. I think we both already know who's bluffing here, don't we?"
When Zayn smiled, Louis smirked.
"And would you look at that? Something is already poking me. My hands could relieve you in ways you don't even know. And I really want to. You just have to let me."
Zayn himself was suprised as thoughts of his sexual desires started to cloud his mind. He knew he shouldn't do this here at his place of work but he really wanted it. Nobody had to know.
"Doors are locked?"
"Yes."
"Okay. I guess you can show me what you know."
➡️ ➡️ ➡️
"Now this is what I was talking about. Very well done, Harry."
"You think so Professor, Payne?"
"Yes. I knew you were capable of it. It's so exciting to read. This is going to be a big help for researchers everywhere."
Harry thought for a moment.
"When you say everywhere, do you mean all over the world?"
"Yes. I do. The plan is that this book could be available digitally as well, to allow for easier translations."
"Oh."
"Do you like the sound of that?"
"Well... yeah. If it helps. But honestly I'm starting to get worried."
"About what?"
"The more I ask for, the more this will cost. I have Benjamin. I can't just... spend thousands of dollars because I don't have it. I'm worried that when I finish writing, it will stall and never be published."
Professor Payne put Harry's journal back on the kitchen table.
"Harry, I thought I made it abundantly clear that I was investing in this research."
"Okay?"
"So that means I'm funding it. Whatever it takes, I am willing to pay."
"But..."
"No buts. Think about it. I was your Human Anatomy and Physiology Professor. I went all this time teaching about the different systems and functions of organs but had very little on the Dual Male Reproductive System due to its rarity. And then here you are, a confident man who actually gave birth to a child and wasn't afraid for people to know. It was an opportunity. A dream come true. And you see why I'm more than happy to foot the bill."
"I guess."
"When I told you you were rare and special, those were the things I was thinking about. You're the world's hope in a way. Because we can never know if there will be another like you or if there is anyone else out there with a Dual Male Reproductive System."
Right away, Harry turned away and looked down. He looked sad.
"What?" The professor asked.
"Did I say something wrong?"
"No. It's okay. I was just thinking. And by the way, thank you for doing what you do for me. I'm lucky you were my professor."
"Or I'm lucky you were my student."
"Yeah, right."
"Trust me. Everything will be alright."
Harry cleared his throat. "Professor."
"Hm?"
"Do you think it's a bad thing that I have a degree in Biological Science and still manage to make writing my career? I mean I write a mommy column for Faux Mag, even though I'm a dad. And now I'm going to publish a book at some point. Feels like I wasted four years of school at this point."
"No. You did not waste four years. In fact, without them you wouldn't be writing this book because you wouldn't have met me."
"True."
"But also you have options. If the magazine doesn't work out, you always have that to fall back on and that's a hell of a degree to fall back on. Take it from someone who knows."
When he saw the way Harry looked, he tilted his head sideways.
"Can I be Liam and not Professor Payne for a moment?"
"Sure."
"Why are you suddenly questioning things in your life? I don't think I've ever seen you do this before. Has something happened?"
Harry became defensive but kept it polite.
"No. Of course not. What do you even mean by that? Nothing has happened."
"Well, it's just that I know you. We don't talk a lot but I have gathered quite a bit of information from you. You're acting only slightly strange. I have to wonder."
He shook his head and waved a hand at him.
"No."
"Then what is it? Because I think it's got you scrambled up pretty good."
Harry slowly exhaled, then finally gave in. He might as well tell him. He was going to find out sooner or later anyway.
"He's back."
"Who's back."
"We're home!"
Suddenly it was like Harry had come out of a trance. That was a close one. He almost opened up to someone he was having sex with about someone he once had sex with. That would have been a mistake.
"Niall is back. And right on time too. We were just finishing up."
"What?"
Harry got up from the kitchen table and came into the living room to meet Benjamin and Niall.
"Daddy. Look. This candy."
Benjamin held up a clear bag with all sorts of candy in it.
"Whoa. That's a lot. Definitely too much to eat at one time. We're going to have to stagger that."
He pouted slightly. But that just led to a yawn.
"Sleepy?"
He nodded.
"Alright. Go your room. I'll be there to tuck you in after I talk with Niall. Leave your candy on the table."
Benjamin sat the bag on the table and headed down the hallway to his bedroom.
"Um, Harry."
That was the voice of Professor Payne.
"Yeah?"
"I can tell things are about to get busy around here. So I'm going to head out. We'll pick up later. You have my number."
"Yeah."
Niall followed him to the door so he could lock it behind him.
"I hope you don't mind but I brought Dylan along today."
Harry folded his arms.
"Hands were kept to themselves though right?" He asked with his voice lowered.
Niall matched his tone.
"Trust me. She knows better."
"Yes, but do you?"
"Relax. We didn't do anything and we only kissed when he wasn't looking. I swear."
"You don't have to kiss when he's not looking. Unless you're just eating each other's faces off, of course. That would be a no-no. My main concern is feeling each other. None of that. I do not want him being exposed to too much so young."
Niall plopped down on the couch. "Sometimes you worry too much. I get you were a teenage father but still, hiding stuff from him isn't what's going to avoid that happening to him. All of us got curious about sex when we reached a certain age. The key is protection and you know that more than anyone. I mean look at you. You and Professor Payne have been boning the last month and you're not pregnant yet. So you must have learned something from that whole ordeal."
Harry's eyes got so big.
"What? What makes you think that me and my professor are boning?"
"Uh, I'm no stranger to sex. It's pretty fucking obvious you two are having sex."
"Uh no it is not because we are not."
"Then why did you send me out with Benjamin?"
"To get work done on my book. Which we did. We made progress."
"In the bedroom?" He teased.
"No! That's none of your business. And also, I've told you about using profanity when Benny might hear."
"Oh yeah. Got me. But you know it never helps for you to keep pretending like it's not happening, don't you? So what, you're really into your professor?"
"Stop right there. I am not really into him. And he's not really into me either."
"Okay then, so what you're sexually attracted to him? If it's just sex then it's just sex. It's normal. And I for one am very impressed with how you two can write on your book for two straight hours and not manage to sixty nine at least once."
"Alright, that's enough. No more talking about boning or sex or sixty nine-ing or I swear I will put you out."
"Fine."
Harry glowered at him. He couldn't believe it. How did Niall know? What was it that they were giving out to let him know they were having sex? They tried not to touch each other and they tried not to say certain things around anyone. But did they look at each other funny and didn't know it?
Either way, it was just sex. And there never was anything more. Niall was silly to even imply it.
"I'm going to put Benny down for a nap. Be back soon."
"Okay. But just as a final thought, sometimes just sex isn't good for you."
Harry stopped and turned around.
"What?"
"Usually when it's 'just sex' it just means you're using it in place of something you really want. Maybe even someone you really want."
"I don't want anyone, Niall."
"I know. Maybe not yet. But you're still using it as a substitute for something. Even I know sex is just a temporary solution and I'm only nineteen. When you come across what you really want or need, you'll realize you don't need him anymore. I know."
This time, Harry didn't deny sleeping with Professor Payne. He simply brushed Niall off.
"You're right. You're only nineteen. That means you don't know everything just yet. Then again, at least I can admit that neither do I."
When he walked to Benjamin's room, thoughts of everything Niall said began to swim through his mind. Niall probably thought he was preaching some big sermon to him but he was only saying what Harry already knew. He and Liam already acknowledged they were using sex as a substitute. They were using it to cure their loneliness.
And no. It definitely was not a permanent solution. But it did always feel amazing when it was happening and he wasn't yet ready to quit. He still liked being able to pick up the phone and tell Liam he wanted him any time he wished. And he liked that there were no strings attached. Because with Benjamin in his life he wasn't real sure if he could even handle strings.
After all, the last time there were any strings, they were unexpectedly cut without a fair warning.