The room was almost dark. Nothing but light from the lamp on the night stand was shining. Harry and Liam's shadows were dancing on the wall and the only sounds were their heavy breathing and desperate moans.
It was the first time Harry had ever been completely naked in Professor Payne's home but he felt like he needed it. He needed to be free here. He need to feel him, to smell his skin and put long scratches down his muscle toned back. And right now he felt like there was nothing else existing on this earth that could take away from the loneliness and hurt he'd felt lately.
Harry could feel himself letting go. He could feel every part of himself getting lost around the professor as his body inched closer and closer to the edge. He was ready. And Professor Payne was going to take him there, again for the fourth time in the last three weeks.
But then out of nowhere, a ringtone captured his attention.
"No." Harry groaned.
"I have to get that. It's mine."
He and Liam separated and Harry reached over for his phone. When he saw it was Niall, he panicked.
"Hello? Is everything okay?"
"With Benny, yes. But uh... Did you invite somebody over?"
"What? Niall don't tell me you let someone in my house."
"Relax. I'm not dumb. I told you I've got this."
"Then why are you asking that question?"
"Because there's some guy sitting outside on the front porch. He looks like Benjamin's other father. You know, the one you've been going out with."
"Niall."
"I didn't say date this time."
Harry put a hand on his forehead.
"Did he knock?"
"Yeah. I told him you weren't home yet and that I couldn't let him in without you here."
"Good. Did he seem upset?"
"No. Why? Should he have been?"
"I don't know. Forget I asked."
"Should I send him away then? Because I think he's waiting for you to get home."
Harry thought for a moment.
"Uh... no. I'm on my way."
"Okay. See you soon."
"Yeah."
When the call ended, Liam, frowned. "Have to go?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry."
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, it's cool. Someone is meeting me at my place. No big deal."
"I see. Are you sure you didn't want me to give you what you came for before you go?"
Harry saddened.
"I'm sure. I don't deserve it anyway."
"Why do you say that?"
Harry shook his head with a light chuckle and got out of bed so he could start to get dressed.
"Uh, no. I'm not going to get into that. Not here, in your bed, while I'm naked. That's way too intimate and it's just sex, remember?"
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I don't care about things happening in your life."
Harry shook it head.
"It's nothing I can't handle. That's all you need to know. But look at it this way. At least you have a nice fresh image of me in your bed when you finish yourself off after I leave."
"Maybe. But what about you? Your boner's really pushing against the leg of your pants."
Harry looked down.
"I'll figure it out when I get there. See you later."
"See you later."
Harry was out of the room and headed home in no time and since he was only ten minutes away, he was pulling up in his driveway soon. Sure enough like Niall said, Zayn was out there in the cold. What was he doing here? Was he here to holler at him again? Or was he here for something else?
Regardless of what the answer was, Harry still had a boner that hadn't gone away. And he really needed to cover it over. So he quickly took off his coat and held it over his arms in front of him. As he walked up to the front door, Zayn stood up to meet him.
"What are you doing here?" Harry asked skeptically.
"I was just driving home and um... I remembered that I had something for Benjamin that I wanted to give you after dinner."
"Like what?"
"A Christmas gift. It's already wrapped. Don't worry. It's just in the car."
"No. That's not it. You could have left that with Niall and gone home. Why are you really here?"
He swallowed thickly. "I'm tired of making you cry. Every time I leave you crying, I don't feel good inside. And I know you heard what I said before you got in the car but it was stupid. I didn't mean any of it. I was just upset. And no, I know I can't just say that and have you forgive me for it like that. But at least let me give you Benjamin's present before you send me away. I think he would like what it is and I want him to take it from under the tree and open it on Christmas morning."
"No."
"No?"
"No. You don't have to give it to me. You get it and bring inside and you can put it under the tree yourself. I don't mind."
A slight smile appeared on his face.
"Thanks. I'll go get it."
Instead of using his house key, Harry knocked on the door. Niall let him in immediately."
"Hey. Did you see him?"
"I did."
"Did you tell him to leave?"
"No. I told him to come in."
"Why?"
"He has something for Benjamin. A Christmas present."
"Nice. He's already trying to step into that father role, huh?"
"I guess."
Niall looked up and down at Harry suspiciously.
"Why aren't you wearing your coat? It's freezing outside."
Harry panicked.
"Uh... Hot flash on the way back home. Can you... tell him to wait? I'm going to take a fifteen minute shower."
"Sure."
Just as Harry was heading off down the hallway, Zayn was coming inside with a big box wrapped up in pretty paper and a bow on top.
"Someone is going to be very excited when he wakes up tomorrow."
"Hopefully." Zayn crouched down and put the present underneath the tree.
"So you're Benjamin's other dad, right?"
"Yeah. Zayn Malik."
"And I'm Niall Horan. It's really nice to meet you. I've heard much."
Zayn was hesitant.
"You have?"
"Yeah, but don't worry. I vowed to keep my mouth shut. You're good."
"Oh..."
"Do you mind having a seat? Harry said to ask you to wait. He needed a quick fifteen minute shower and then he'll be back out."
Zayn raised his brow. He was quite intrigued. Harry wanted him to wait? That was a good sign.
"I just waited outside in the cold for like thirty minutes. I suppose I could wait fifteen more in the warmth."
"Awesome."
When Zayn sat down, he thought Niall was going to talk to him the whole time they were waiting. But instead Niall told him he was going to the guest bedroom to get ready for bed and he left him there alone.
Fifteen minutes Later, Harry emerged from the hallway, wearing pajamas and holding a stack of five boxes wrapped. Then he began to arrange them around the tree.
"Wow." Zayn said.
"Yeah, I had to keep these hidden in my bedroom closet for the last month. If he found them, he might think Santa comes early or something." He responded with a low tone.
"Nice. So he believes in Santa."
"Do you hate that?"
"No. I don't hate it. He's still young. But he will figure out he's not real one day."
"I know and I dread that day because it'll mean he's growing up."
"Like he is now?"
"Pretty much."
He chuckled. "Yeah. Well, enjoy it now. I heard these years go by fast."
"Seems like it already rings true."
Zayn nodded and watched Harry rise to his feet.
"Would you like some homemade hot chocolate? Because I could really go for a cup with marshmallows, whipped cream and everything."
"Uh... yeah. Sure. Why not?"
"Okay. I'll be back."
It turned out that by homemade, he really meant homemade. Harry liked to make his hot chocolate with milk and cocoa and chocolate chips and much more. By the time he finished, he had two mugs of hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows on top.
"Oh wow. You really went all out." Zayn said as he observed the tray on the table.
"It's the least I can do for the father of my son. I hope you like it."
"Let me try it and see."
Zayn was very careful when he picked up his mug and sipped from it.
"Mmm. That is delicious. That job at the Barista really paid off."
Harry smiled.
"It certainly did. And thank goodness too. Because as much coffee as I made, I don't even drink it. I need something to keep me warm in the winter."
Zayn sipped once more then set his mug back down on the tray.
"Maybe you could teach me how to make that. So I can make it for my family."
"Hmm. I'm not big on just giving away secrets. But we'll see."
Now Harry sipped some of his own hot chocolate.
"So... since you mentioned your family..." He then said.
"What about them?"
"Do they know about me and Benjamin yet? I mean I know I didn't ever meet them back then but I mean now."
Zayn slowly shook his head. "Not really."
"You still haven't told them?"
"No. I wasn't sure how things would work out and I didn't want to piss my dad off. He was really mad when the school called him about that stupid list and if he found out that I got somebody pregnant in high school while all that foolery was going on, he'd be even more mad all over again."
Then he quickly reworded.
"Not that I'm saying I'm ashamed of you or Benjamin. I'm far from that. I'm happy to know that you had my son- our son. It's just I know they're not really ready for that kind of information. Especially when they didn't know about you back then either."
"Well then, I guess that goes for me and you both."
Zayn looked suprised at him. "You mean you haven't told your parents either?"
"Nope. Although, I haven't seen my dad in a long time. But no, I haven't told them. Gemma either. Things would just get so complicated if they found out you were back in my life."
"Got that right. And I also feel that it's our business at the end of the day anyway. I mean we don't have to tell anyone yet if we don't want to. It can be our secret for now."
"I agree."
"So let's just figure this out on our own. Yeah, we're only twenty one..."
"Almost twenty two."
"Even better. We're adults. We can be responsible parents without other people interfering with that. I know we can."
"Me too. But after what happened tonight, I think we should start by not talking about the past anymore. We thought we could do it. But obviously it hurts too damn much. So we should quit while we're ahead."
"I also agree with that. No more talking about about the past. Although there is one thing."
"What?"
"I don't think I could just forget that you told me you love me. Or at least that you used to love me. Past or not, it still makes me feel good."
Harry giggled quietly.
"Well then as long as we're being honest, I can't forget you told me you were in-love with me."
"Good. Because I don't want you to. I want you to remember that I felt that way about you. And I want you to know that it was real. And it was real when we made Benjamin. Even if he wasn't necessarilly planned, he's not just some accident because two crazy teens didn't use condoms one night. He's quite literally a miracle. And who knows? Maybe he was meant to be."
Harry turned away shyly now. Hearing Zayn say their son was probably meant to be was so much more comforting than he ever thought it would be coming from him. And even though it probably didn't make sense to anyone else, he was really glad Liam didn't finish him off in his bed tonight after all.
Because maybe he was wrong. Maybe there was someone else who existed in this world who could help end some of his lonely nights. Someone who knew exactly what he was going through. And they didn't need to have sex to make him feel better. All he really needed was a sincere conversation and a couple mugs of delicious hot chocolate.
➡️ ➡️ ➡️
"At first we were thinking of making you a nice dinner with all your favorite foods. But then I realized your father doesn't like to cook and I'd have to make all that by myself. So we were thinking we should just go somewhere nice for dinner and treat you. What do you think about that for your birthday?"
Zayn turned from the window with a view of his parents' backyard and faced his mother.
"Sure mom, whatever is good."
"Really, Zayn? Whatever is good?"
"Yeah. You don't expect me to tell you I hate it, do you?"
"No. I don't. But it is your birthday. We should do something you like. Not just whatever."
"Trust me, mom, I'm not going to say no. I like food and dinner sounds good."
"Where should we go then? And don't say wherever."
Before he could answer her, his cellphone rang in his pocket.
"Hold that thought."
He took it out to look at the caller ID and was surprised to see Harry's name. He quickly excused himself.
"I have to take this call. It's important."
"Do you want me to leave the kitchen?"
"No. I'll go outside."
"Outside? In the cold?"
He didn't answer though. He just went out of the back door and onto the back patio.
"Hello?"
"Hey. Am I bothering you? You can say yes if I am."
"No you're not. What's up?"
"I have you on speakerphone. Benjamin just opened one of his gifts from Santa. It seems as though Santa got him two playdoh sets. One that creates pastas and one that makes hotdogs."
Zayn smiled.
"Oh really?"
"Yes. And I just called so you could hear how happy he is to be playing with it."
"I made more spaghetti!"
"I see. That looks yummy."
Zayn chuckled.
"I'm glad he likes it."
"Correction: loves it. It's the only thing he has played with so far. Can't lie I'm slightly jealous."
"Don't be. I'm sure he'll get around to playing with all the other stuff Santa got him."
There was a little sigh.
"By the way, Zayn."
"Yeah?"
"I was thinking earlier and I happened to remember that your birthday is coming up next month. What day was it again?"
"The twelfth."
"Oh right."
"Why do you ask?"
"Are you doing something special for it?"
"My parents want to take me to a very nice dinner after work. But nothing is set in stone yet."
"You're going to work on your birthday?"
"I don't have anywhere else to be."
"Actually you have many places you could be. But I understand. You're single and you're used to it. Enjoy your dinner with your mother and father. I'm sure it'll be lovely."
When he said that, Zayn gasped quietly. He remembered that he was in fact not single. He was dating Louis. But he didn't want to tell Harry that. That might just make Harry draw away or something. And after their conversation last night, he felt like he could finally see Harry without making him cry.
"Do you want me to come over?" He blurted out.
"Huh?"
"That night. After dinner. If you were asking if I had plans because you want to see me on my birthday, I'm definitely down for that. Seeing Benjamin mainly, of course. By the way, we should probably work out a plan or something while we're at it. You know. So I can see him. That would be good. So I don't feel like I'm rude by just showing show up. I don't want to be rude-"
"Zayn, slow down. It's not rude to me if you just show up. As far as I'm concerned, you don't need an appointment to see your son. He's your son."
"What about to see you?"
"I'm going to hang up." He threatened playfully.
"I'm kidding. I'm kidding."
When he looked up, his mother was peeking at him through the window. So he turned all the way around so she couldn't read his lips.
"So should I come by or not?"
The slight pause meant Harry actually thought about it for a moment.
"You really don't have to. I was just curious about what you were doing that day. That's all."
"Oh. Okay."
"I have to go. I'm going to finish spending the day with Benny."
"Wish I was there."
"I know. One day you will. Say goodbye to Papa, Benny."
"Bye bye, Papa. Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas, Benny. You too, Harry."
"Merry Christmas, Zayn."
When the line disconnected. Zayn hung up and came in the house.
"Someone special?" His mother asked.
"What?"
"The way you were smiling on that phonecall, I'd think it was someone special."
He frowned and shrugged his shoulders as he shoved his phone back in his pocket.
"Just work stuff."
"Mhm."
"By the way, on my birthday, can we go early to dinner? That's a Thursday and I'd like to be back home earlier so I can be fresh for work the next day."
She turned her mouth sideways.
"Zayn Malik, I tell you, you worry about work too much these days. You're a workaholic and that's not good for you. Just look at your father. Maybe you should get yourself someone special so you can use some of that time to have fun."
As she was looking suspiciously at him, he smiled widely at her. What she didn't know was that he already had someone special to spend time with. An adorable four year old boy who carried half his DNA.