ⓦⓗⓞ ⓗⓤⓡⓣⓢ ⓦⓗⓞ
"Haruka, Natsu took my fish!"
"Natsu, drop it down." Haruka had her hands on her hips like a mother, her face sternly raised an eyebrow over his action, emphasizing each word to scold him. "It's not nice to steal Happy's food." Holding a plate in her right hand, she pulled Natsu's chin hard with her other hand to take the fish out of his mouth casually then handed Bella her plate as if there was no Natsu choking on the fishbones behind. Happy gasped in joy and his tail wiggled in reflex, saying his thanks to her.
Bella chomped on her fruit. "Seriously, what am I going to do with you?"
"Nee-san, do you want more?" Lucy handed her a plate of sliced mangoes.
Rae nodded however she noticed untouched broccoli on Lucy's plate. Her eyebrows furrowed. "Lucy, you still don't eat your broccoli?" Oh how bizarre, for a minute, Rae was stunned by herself. How did she know Lucy didn't like broccoli? She was puzzled. She didn't remember Minerva or Yukino told her about that, so how did she know it? Hiding that expression with a stoic cool face, Rae looked at Lucy who was puffing her cheeks for a while now, probably rumbling about how broccoli tasted like a tree. The older sister chuckled at the cuteness, pushing her plate towards Lucy.
"Hehe." Lucy grinnned sheepishly while took her broccoli and put it on Rae's plate. Just like she always did before.
It had been only a day since Rae woke up but, she already insisted on eating downstairs with others. Said, it would help her heal faster than cooping in the room alone. The atmosphere of their friendliness was nice. Thankfully, none of them hadn't approached her to ask what happened a year ago yet. By now, she had met everyone, Haruka, Lucy, Bella, Jellal, Erza, her closest friend, Natsu, Ciel, a guy who was once her opponent during a tournament and Gray. However, she didn't take any action yet to approach him, neither he. But she would notice his gaze every time they were in the same room.
About her power, maybe it's better to tell them the truth, well not entirely. She shall tell them that her magic was disable for now for some reasons. They wouldn't ask more if she said it involved Surtur's power which she didn't have any clue about him as well. She will tell them once they're home. On the other hand, about her memory loss, it would have been better if she acted normal. First, because she was afraid of their reactions but what's more important was, if she was truly the powerful Rae King, she was bound to have enemies and if the news about her losing her memories, it would be bad if those enemies ambushed them.
"Rae, what are you thinking about?" He touched her face.
Her eyes quickly snapped to his direction. His smile, just as she thought, it was beautiful. To think she had a great family and lover, she was truly feeling special but it's not for her. All the devotion and love, they're not for her. They're for the Rae King they were growing up with. Not some girl who came from out of nowhere with no memories of them being together. It felt like she stole the lights from someone. The spot she's sitting right now belonged to somebody else. Although the Sabertooth girls had convinced her that she's the Rae King, Rae was still doubting that fact.
It was complicated.
"Nothing, it's just-" She looked down her hand intertwined with his on his lap. "I'm happy to be back. Thank you for waiting." Closing her eyes to feel his delicate strokes on her cheek, Rae found herself leaned towards him more. It was all an act. Don't let them notice your behavior. Don't let them know. The voices whispered in her head as she breathed in his smell which she found it surprisingly soothing. His chest vibrated when he let out a small laugh once he noticed her cowering in his hold. It was a rare sight of her to be that clingy, usually the tables turned.
But, nevertheless, he was glad she's home now. "You waited for me for years before, Rae. And I had waited 7 years for you after that. One year is nothing compared to before, but one year with an image of you dying in my arms is agonizing. It's not easy for me. For us. But I know, things hadn't been easy for you as well. We were all suffering. So now, let's be happy together. Let's catch up everything we should have done last year, yeah?" His finger lifted her chin and she slowly nodded, later, they were holding each other and Rae had her eyes settled on the Ice Mage standing there, behind him.
Gray.
"Oi, get a room you two!" Ciel suddenly shouted and everyone in the guild laughed.
Jellal quickly pushed her away with his cheeks fuming with red, startling her for a second as he had shoved her hard. Everyone saw them earlier. His hands shakily pulled his cloak up to cover his face and that's when Rae laughed genuinely for the first time. She never knew he had that in him. Ah, for some reasons, seeing him like that made her feel some type of way. She felt powerful for a moment there. It was mesmerizing, how Jellal immediately turned quiet when everyone was looking at him, almost as if he didn't want to be seen by others than her.
Rae touched his shoulder, almost making him stiffen in surprise. "Are you alright, darling?" Darling, she didn't know why in the world she called him that. However, it felt natural to call him pet names, knowing he could have turned into a ripe tomato instantly. Her face then reddened as well once her head suddenly thought of something vulgar. Was he always like this? Rae coughed into her fist and stood up like a robot, startling him poorly. "I'm going to change my bandages. Now, please excuse me."
Jellal quickly stood up. "Do you need my help?" He offered, despite his face was still blushing.
Rae smiled. "It's alright, I can manage it by myself. Please, do enjoy your meal." The girl left the table and walked upstairs to her room.
"Is she always that formal?" Ciel asked in wonder as he slid smoothly to stand beside the Titania. His eyes looked around carefully before slowly spreading his arms to put one behind her. Erza shook her head slowly. Now that he had noticed that, she did feel something different about her too. Her style of talking, it was too formal for her own family. It's like she's being cautious. "Well, we know nothing about what she had gone through so it's probably nothing. I mean, she is the Ruler of Underworld, perhaps it's been rubbing on her."
"Yeah, maybe." Erza's voice was slow and quiet.
Ciel turned her to his front. "Hey, look." He held her face. "She's here right now, alright? She's safe and sound and she's not going anywhere. She's back—" A sword appeared out of nowhere and its tip dangerously touched his flesh.
"Take your hands off me."
"Ah, noted." His hands were raised up high on his head, a sign of surrender however, he didn't fail to catch a tiny smile on her face. Now, that's what he had been waiting to see. If only, she knew how beautiful she was when she was smiling freely. It complimented her scarlet hair so much. It was like how the sky looked when it's dawn. And he knew for sure, he was whipped for the Titania, who wouldn't? That girl was a powerful mage, a strong woman, everything he ever wanted in a lover, someone who he could fight alongside with.
Erza lowered her sword and called his name once he was about to leave. "Thank you."
Ciel chuckled. "Anytime, sweet flame."
Bella and Happy whistled and cooed at the pet name making her cast a pure evil look on her face, causing them to cower behind Haruka. The little girl only giggled at Erza's reaction, saying that pet name was cute and it suited her so much. Sweet flame, that's what Ciel had been calling her. Erza didn't know and realize since when he did start calling her that although even after she threatened him to drop the pet name, he refused to do so, claiming she was his flame. As much as she wanted to deny their relationship, a tiny part of her heart actually felt giddy whenever he called her that.
"Thank you~"
"Anytime, sweet flame."
"Oh my baby!"
"Oh my sweet flame~"
Let's say, after Bella and Happy made kissy faces at her mockingly, they were immediately silenced for good.
∆∆∆
oh boy, this is going to be fun.
"Why is it so hard to reach my back—"
"Here, let me."
Rae yelped in surprise. She even jumped and stiffened while holding her towel closely. She wasn't wearing any clothes for God's sake, alright, she was wearing her underwear under her towel but still, she's naked. The girl turned around, alarmed. Her hair fell out of her messy bun, luckily it did covered her cleavage. She cleared her throat. "What are you doing here?" Her hand was put into a defensive stance, taking a few steps back until the back of her toe hit the bed behind. Her heart was pounding, thinking of many possibilities of him being a psychopath.
What if he wants to kill me for fooling him around?
What if he wants to skin me alive?
What if he wants to sell my organs?
"You left the door opened. I was just passing by."
But her room was at the end of the hallway. Rae bit her inner cheek. "You're sure about that? Your room was next to the stairs."
Gray chuckled to himself, as if he was laughing at his idiocy. "As I expected, you still could see right through me." He stepped forward to approach her but the sight of her avoiding him hurt him. Deeply. And Rae could sense that but she didn't mean it though.
"Let me wear clothes first alright? Then, I'll hear what you want to say." Her voice became gentler and softer, she wanted to indirectly tell him that she wasn't wary of him.
"Right." He fixed his collar and stepped outside, leaving her in the room to get ready. His head made a small thud sound as his back leaned against the wall of her room. If Jellal never came into the frame, would he get the chance to be with her? If Jellal never repented him of all he did, could he have his chance? He was there for her from the beginning, way before Jellal but somehow, she chose Jellal. He loved her. He loved her too much that it hurt him, he prayed for her happiness but was that what he really wanted? Her with somebody else?
Whenever he missed her, he was reminded by the wish he had been praying. He prayed and prayed for her to be somewhere far from him. So he can heal, but without her presence, the pain was much and much greater than he felt when he saw her with somebody else. If only, if only he had the power to stop her from forcing him to forget his attempt to confess, then maybe he would be trying hard to win her heart. If only she gave him one chance to approach her. Once in a while, he would have to cry silently alone in his room.
"Gray?"
His foot pushed himself off the wall and he walked inside after twisting the doorknob with a heavy heart. "Hey."
Rae, who was grabbing something under her pillow, turned around and pulled a chair for him to sit as she sat on the bed. "Hey." Thankfully he had left the door opened, or else it would be really awkward for her, a taken woman to talk to a guy in a closed room. It was silence for a while, all she could hear was the noises and ruckus coming from downstairs, if she wasn't mistaken, she did hear Lucy screaming Natsu's name angrily. He might did something idiotic again. Not long after that, Sorano did the same but she was scolding Sting. Natsu and Sting, what an interesting pair indeed.
"How are you?" He finally spoke.
Rae blinked. "I'm doing good, minus all the bandages I have to change frequently."
"Good. That's good."
Silence again.
Rae had her fingers tapped on each other to distract herself from getting a second hand embarrassment because of the awkwardness. He wasn't saying anything, just completely staring at the floor. Seeing him didn't take any initiative to start the conversation, Rae thought it was better to start by herself. She held out her hand and opened her palm for him to show the cross. His eyes widened at the dangling necklace in her hand, questions began to storm his mind. "I have this with me for a few days now. Here, I know how important it is to you."
He took it from her. "How did you have this?"
"I found it on the ground somewhere and I took it with me. That necklace—" She breathed. "It was my hope. When I was kidnapped by Surtur, I lost all of my hopes, Gray. I was almost beaten to death, tortured—I almost lost my mind. But that cross, it kept me sane although the pain didn't bother me anymore. I was numb and ready to die for the second time but it saved me. It saved Wendy and Carla. At that moment, I didn't think of anything else. I was only focusing on saving them and I became ignorant to my own pain. But that necklace reminded me of home, it became my strength. Just like you, Gray. Just like Fairy Tail."
"I was searching for this but to think you have it with you, I'm glad." Gray smiled.
"I'm sorry, Gray." There it was. The beginning climax of her feelings. "I'm sorry—"
"I don't want to hear it." His forehead scrunched. And it's true, he didn't want her apologies. She's not at fault. It's all his. He was too selfish. "I should be the one to say sorry. I'm sorry, Rae but I love you."
That's unexpected. Her brain stopped processing as her eyes took in the sight of him crying in front of her. Every part of her went on pause, of course she already knew he loved her but she never expected him to confess all of the sudden. That shock brought a quietness within, a moment to feel overwhelming emotions work up in her body. Why did he suddenly talk about this matter? She thought he wanted to ask what had happened to her. Her lips shakily spoke the name he had grown hatred to. "Jellal, I'm with—"
"Please refrain from saying his name when you're with me."
I want to run.
I'm not your Rae.
Please stop.
He stood up and walked towards her frozen body. His hands hesitantly grabbed both her hands on her lap as he was now crouching in front of her. "Rae, I want you to know that I really love you. I have to let you know this because I can't hold it in much longer. Please just hear me out, I know you're with him but ever since we were kids, I've been harbouring this feeling for you—" His eyes then caught a sight of a certain umbrella beside her. That umbrella was familiar to him. "That umbrella—it's funny how it is similar to mine, where did you get that?"
"Huh?"
Now that he was thinking of how Rae got her own room at Sabertooth while other girls only shared with each other, he finally understood it. Gray clenched his jaw and stood up, going to the nearest window as he now had connected the strings. Once he was standing by the window, he can see it. The bench where he used to sit all night. Ah, he understood it all now. How she had that necklace in her hand. How she seemed closer with Sabertooth than them. How she always that distant look whenever they crossed paths or met their eyes with each other.
Gray laughed emotionlessly. "Tch, tch, Rae King. I honestly didn't expect you to be like this. Was it fun?"
Rae furrowed her eyebrows worriedly, her body stood up immediately and her head was warning her for something. He was standing still there, arms crossed on his chest, laughing over something she can't understand what's so funny about. But she could hear the mockery in his voice. "Gray? What are you talking about?" She was scared. His voice, it was cold. His look was different this time. It was entirely different than the one he always had when they looked at each other. There were hatred and disgust on his face. "Gray, you're scaring me, what's wrong—"
He slapped her hand away when she tried to approach her. "Did you have your fun, Rae King? Or are you Blaire Heartfilia right now?"
"What are you talking about? I don't understand!" He yanked her forearm harshly. "Gray, let me go! You're hurting me!"
Gray gritted his teeth. "Are you kidding me? I'm hurting you? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S HURTING ME HERE, RAE."
Rae hissed when he pressed her wound, her arm wasn't fully healed yet. "Gray, it hurts. Please, let go of my hand. Tell me, what did I do wrong?" She pleaded, her hand was now bleeding again and when she tried to pull back her hand, his fingers only held her other hand tightly, pressing the spots where her nails were ripped off. She screamed, hoping he would at least release her hands. But he didn't, instead he pulled her closer roughly, holding her hands above her head.
"I—I love you sincerely, Rae. Is this how you want to play?"
"Please, I don't understand why you are doing this." Tears decorated her pretty face.
Gray shut his eyes with his chest suppressed a choke. "I don't as well, Rae. Do we need to erase each other over our memories? When you left, I—held on to the pain your love left me. Did you ever think about how I endured this grief? Did you ever once? No, right? Because you're busy having your entertainment! A part of me felt empty each day, Rae, for wishing you to disappear. It's my fault for being that selfish. I wanted to you to disappear so I can no longer see you with him. I love you, Rae—I really do. I will never regret that. Have you forgotten that I was the one who's always right next to you?"
Rae shook her head. "Please, let go of my hands, Gray. Please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"
Ah, I want to close my eyes.
This is all a mistake.
I should have left.
"I love you, Rae. Are you listening to me now?"
The girl shook her head repeatedly, begging him to let her go.
"Did you have fun playing the little saviour when you came to me at that night? You asked me who I was waiting for even though you knew so fucking well who I was talking about! I was waiting for you all the time, even if you're with him. I love you more, Rae! It should have been me! Your tears and loneliness, I know them so well but why him? Why did you choose him? Why did you stay by my side if you're going to betray me like this? Why be my shoulder to cry on when it is you who's hurting me? You played me, Rae. You erased my memory, you refused to hear my confession, giving excuses like you didn't even trust and love yourself but why him? Why choose him in the end?!"
His screaming was getting louder.
"I didn't know that was you, I swear! I didn't mean to—I'm sorry!"
He pushed his forehead on hers. "Why, Rae? Why hurt me so bad just to fix me then break me again?"
"I'm sorry!"
"Stop saying you're sorry, damn it! Why did you stay here instead of quickly coming home? Were you having fun with your new toys?" He forced her to look at him in the eyes. "Tell me, is it Sting? Rogue? Rufus? Or all of them?"
"No—I swear, it's nothing like that—I sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please, just let me go—it hurts, Gray. It hurts too much." She was slurring her words.
I want to sleep.
"Damn it, I told you to stop saying you're sorry!" He finally let her go and Rae dropped to the floor like a doll, feeling energy in her body was being sucked out.
"Mama!"
Erza felt her face turned pale as they immediately came running to her room once they heard screaming upstairs. "Gray, what did you do?" Her voice strained as they only found Gray crying and Rae bleeding on the floor. The other girls gasped as her wounds were opening again.
Jellal glared at the Ice Mage in complete anger. He made his way to Gray and punched him on the face. "What did you do to her?!" He held him by his collar yet Gray didn't answer the question. Jellal raised his hand to give him another beating but soon was stopped by Rae coughing out blood on the floor.
Rae looked at them, her face smiled nonetheless. "It was nothing, Jellal. Gray was only helping me to clean my room and I fell. He didn't do anything."
"But nee-san, we heard screaming—"
"Ah, that, we were chatting and then both of us screamed when a cockroach suddenly flew to my face. That's how I fell. And Gray worried too much about me, that's why he's crying. Seriously, who expects the Gray Fullbuster could cry. Lucy, it's alright." Rae laughed and weakly ruffled her sister's hair. "Jellal, say sorry to Gray now for punching him. Gray didn't mean any harm."
"Sorry."
Gray still didn't say anything.
Rae clapped her hands happily, despite having blood on her lips. "Now, would you please leave? I have to change my bandages again. Or would you like to have a free show?" Knowing so well, Jellal would be distracted by that, Rae smiled to herself on that achievement as he now was driving everyone away from the room. Once Gray was about to step outside, Rae called him. "Please don't cry. It's not your fault. It's entirely mine. I promise to not make you cry anymore, Gray."
"Mama, are you sure you don't need our help?"
"Yeah, we can help you—"
Rae turned around so they won't see her face. "Ye—yes, I'll be fine. It's fine Yukino, Haruka. I just need some time alone. Please close the door on your way back."
17/1/22
now, this is a long chapter. and more drama.