This is dedicated to CompulsiveWriter. She inspires me a lot!
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Chapter Eleven - Too Weak
I was walking around Aethelgard, taking long strides as I ran to save time. If I was lucky, I would see Sumner and talk to him nicely, and still have enough time to go to the magisters' room and listen to their conversation. But judging by the things I was going through, luck wasn't on my side. So I'd have to be contented in what will happen. Perhaps that would cheer me up a bit.
Remekiah had been quiet since we left the clinic. I didn't know if he just didn't like the people here in Aethelgard and just couldn't help but see the unpleasant side of each person, but I had a feeling that he didn't like the fact that I told Master Cato what I think my power was. Didn't he want me to be a good student?
Class was about to start in an hour, since I missed a class when I passed out earlier. I didn't like that class anyway. It was just about taking care of the castle, similar to my demeanor class, just a little more exciting than my demeanor class. Supposedly, my next class was my favorite class. It was my class with Master Cato, Mastery class, where we master our powers. Sadly, Master Cato was too busy today, so he wouldn't be able to hold the class. That was why he told me to see Sumner and ask him to help me instead.
"Sumner!" I called as I saw him walking at the end of the hallway.
He heard me calling and looked at my direction. As usual, he looked bored, like there was nothing in the world that could amaze him. He walked towards me as I walked towards him. "What?" he asked.
"Please help me learn how to use my power," I said.
He scratched the back of his head. "Why would I?" he asked.
"Master Cato told me to--"
"--let's go," he ordered, walking past me.
"No," I replied. "I still have to go somewhere else. Can't we practice later?"
He scoffed, "Whatever." Then he walked back to the direction he was heading to before I called him earlier.
Before he went far, I yelled, "I'll look for you later. Thank you!" I still heard his scoff from this distance. He was really a weird guy. I didn't know why he looked annoyed by everything in the world, like he wanted to finish doing everything he needed to do so he could go back to what he wanted to do.
I ran to the magisters' room. Remekiah was wriggling inside my dress. Perhaps he wanted to tell me something but just couldn't, or maybe he was just uncomfortable because of our recent quarrels. Either way, I didn't have time to talk to him yet. I needed to get to the magisters' room...fast.
I held my ear against the wall and looked for the spot where I could hear their conversation clearly. I only heard the words 'came here late', 'Aethelgard's safety', and 'taking care of everyone'. I hadn't heard my name yet, though.
"This is why I told you we shouldn't given them extensions!" The voice sounded like Elfreda's. As usual, she couldn't keep her tone down. "This is all your fault, Xamira! If you didn't beg me to let her stay there for two more months, this wouldn't have happened!"
"B-But Elfreda," Xamira stuttered. "you have to understand. She--"
"No!" I heard a slam. It was probably Elfreda slamming her fists on something made of wood. "We needed Safia here in Aethelgard, and what is she doing? She's staying in her house on top of that deserted hill!"
The walls turned brighter. My head moved freely as I scanned the whole room. I didn't need to scan the whole room to know where I was. I knew exactly what this place was, but I needed to check if there was something wrong, something that would wake me up and tell me that this was all just a hallucination, something that would never happen.
I closed my eyes as I inhaled the amazing smell of my mother's cooking. Yes, it smelled just the way my mother's cooking did. I caught a glimpse of what was inside the kitchen when I opened my eyes. For some reason, my stomach churned. No, it wasn't hunger. It was something else. Something I couldn't explain.
"Mother," I breathed. "Mother!" I ran inside the kitchen, knowing that I would find my mother working in the kitchen, wearing the adorable apron I helped her make when I was younger. But it was not my mother that I saw inside; it was the girl who called death and died, Carina.
"Safia," she called.
I heard her weeping behind me. I turned around and met her swollen eyes. "Carina?" I voiced out. "Why am I seeing these things?"
"Don't let them get what they want, Safia! They'll do anything to save Aethelgard!" she cried. Her arms shook with fear. What she was afraid of, I didn't know. But what she said made me feel something different. It felt like something inside me was telling me what to do.
I held her shaking arms and looked her straight in the eye. "What do they want, Carina? What's wrong with saving Aethelgard?" I had to know. I had to understand the situation.
Her eyes became distant; it lost focus. "Save yourself, Safia," she whispered. "Don't let them get what they want."
Everything started to fade slowly. I was back in the dark hallway, but the difference is, the door wasn't closed anymore. And as I looked at the person standing outside the room, I felt as if I was turned to stone.
"What are you doing here, you cursed girl?" Elfreda yelled.
I didn't need to see her flaring nostrils or her shaking legs to know how infuriated she was. "M-Ma-Magister Elfreda, I..." I didn't know what to say. What would I tell her? That I was listening to their conversation? That I wanted to know what they were talking about? "I... I was just--"
She shushed me by yelling, "Xamira!"
Xamira appeared outside the room and looked at me. I expected her to look at me with disappointment or worse, disgust, but no, her eyes looked at me with concern. She cared about me.
"You know what to do," she told Xamira.
I didn't understand why Xamira was shaking when she took my hand and walked away from the magisters' room. My plan failed, but at least I found out that they were talking about me. Remekiah was right. I wasn't taken here for no reason. I was here because they needed me for something. It was obvious they wanted me here as soon as possible for a reason I didn't know. The problem was, I didn't know why saving Aethelgard was wrong. That was their duty, and we needed them to protect us, too.
Then I felt Remekiah moving like crazy inside my dress. What was he doing? I had to put my hand over my chest so Xamira wouldn't see Remekiah moving under my dress.
Xamira glanced at me, then she gazed at my hand but continued walking. "Is there a problem?" she asked.
"Uh, n-nothing. Nothing at all," was my dumb reply. Argh, I wanted to smack myself for talking like that!
"I'm sorry, Safia," she said.
I asked her, "For what?"
She didn't respond, which made me look around the place and find the answer on my own. The place was darker than the halls upstairs, if that was possible. Numerous metal bars stood vertically in front of us, keeping us from entering the place inside. Xamira was doing something to the lock on the bars in front of us. Clank! Clank! The keys made clanking sounds as she tried to twist the lock open. Clang! The door opened. Xamira stepped aside and, without even glancing at me, she said, "Go inside, Safia."
I went inside. I didn't even question it. I just did. After all, she still deserved my respect; she was still a magister everyone should respect. But, of course, Remekiah had a different opinion. I felt him struggle inside my dress like he wanted to get out of my dress and slither his way out of this situation.
I heard Xamira close the door. She was twisting the lock close when she said, "I'm sorry. It was Elfreda's orders."
To keep myself calm, I sat on the stone platform at the right side of the room. I leaned my head on one of the bars, but I moved away from it as soon as I felt goosebumps on my skin. I brushed my arms with my hands like I could wipe those goosebumps away.
"You have to understand us, Safia," she said. I looked at her as she spoke. Her arms were slightly shaking, but I could clearly see that they were shaking, even under the long sleeves of her dress. She shook her head. "No, I know you won't understand even if I explain it to you," she said, contrary to what she told me earlier. "but please, trust us."
I remembered what Carina told me. She said they would do anything to save Aethelgard. Now Xamira was telling me to trust them. She was telling me that I wouldn't understand even if she explained it to me. Something was wrong. Something was definitely wrong.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Hm?" she asked back, not understanding what I asked her.
I wrapped my hand around one of the cold bars that kept me from leaving the room. "What are you planning to do?" I closed my eyes and tried to think of a question that wouldn't offend her and make her leave me alone--with Remekiah--in this place. "What does this have to do with me?" I almost smacked myself for asking that. But I couldn't take that back anymore. The only thing I could do was hope that she wouldn't leave because of what I said.
She turned to look at the stairs that led outside. Please don't leave. Please don't leave, I chanted in my head. She sighed, "Are you sure you want to know?"
I nodded, smiling.
"Well," she sighed. "maybe you deserve to at least know what happened." I watched her walk towards me and met her eyes as she frowned. "Just promise me you won't tell anyone, okay?"
I nodded again, but this time, I couldn't smile. Yes, Xamira trusted me. That should make me a little happy, but I couldn't help but feel guilty. She was risking herself just because I wanted to get answers. But I had to push those feelings away for a moment. Right now, I needed to stay strong.
"Long ago," she began. "witches, sorcerers and elementals were at war with humans. Any human who was in our territory was killed, and anyone from our side found in their territory was stoned to death." The last words made me cringe. Stoned to death? That was terrible, too terrible. "We had powers; they had weapons. Nobody dared to cross each other's territories." She paused.
I was tempted to ask her what happened, but I knew she was preparing herself--or me--for something big, so I waited patiently.
Then she continued, "But a day came when a sorceress approached the humans. She was pregnant, about to give birth, and our territory was too far away from the place she was in." Her words became whispers. Somehow, she seemed to be moved by the story, like she cared about the woman. "They said she was looking for the herbs she would need when she gave birth, and because of the war, herbs were already hard to find. She offered to help the humans in the battle against our side, just so they would help her, but the humans were even more disgusted when they heard her offer. She had no loyalty. The humans said she was worse than us. She would do anything just to get help. She had no pride, no dignity."
She paused again, but this time, I asked, "Did they kill her?"
"She ran," she replied. "She ran away, even when she needed to give birth. She gave birth in a forest. That was where the baby almost died because she was running." Her eyes watched me as I gasped and used my hand to cover my mouth. "She gave birth to three," she said. "Three sons."
"Three sons?" I repeated. "Triplets? She gave birth to triplets?" I couldn't help but widen my eyes. She gave birth to triplets. How could she give birth to triplets? How could she give birth alone in the forest?
She nodded. "She used all of her remaining strength to deliver the children successfully, but she died right after giving birth to the third son. Nobody took care of the children." She stopped talking again. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "The humans cursed the children the woman bore. They cursed the children to cause the downfall of the elementals, the sorcerers, the witches, and the rest of the people in our side."
Then it hit me. She wasn't finding it hard to tell me the story because she cared about the woman. No, she wasn't moved by it. She hated her. She knew that sorceress was the mother of the sons who would cause our downfall.
"I still don't understand," I told her, shaking my head. "Why am I in this thing?"
She shook her head, frowning. "That's all I could tell you. I told you, you will never understand."
I sprang up and wrapped my arms around the cold bars. "Please!" I begged her. "Just tell me why I'm in this thing! Tell me why you need me!" I felt so weak as I watched her leave. I couldn't do anything. I was too weak. "Please, tell me!" I yelled, hoping that it would reach her heart, that she would finally give me answers.
The heavy door closed as she left the place. The place became even darker. The place was only lit by candles that were threatening to go out. I cried and cried. I was too weak. I couldn't do it. I couldn't protect myself. I couldn't stop them from doing what they want.